A/N: Thinking of adding another fic on here for a different fandom soooooo if/when updates get slower.. you know why.

TriggerWarnings: mentions of self-harm, parental disputes, scars, shame, guilt, anxiety

John whistled and the bus erupted into chaotic shouting and laughing as they cheered for that and the bus started moving.

Randy only grinned and shook his head, plugging himself back in because he'd need some time to himself if he wanted to be in the zone.

.~.~.~.

The rest of Friday went by quicker than he'd expected. He'd talked to Roman about his advances with Seth and with John about his weekend away with Mickie's family before deciding to plug in. The game itself was amazing. They won by 14 points and Coach Calaway made good on his promise, hell he'd even bought ice cream for them to enjoy on the bus ride back to school. Randy slept through most of the ride back, John comfortably leaning against him and Cody's blanket draped over them.

Saturday didn't pass as quickly as he would've liked though. But, truthfully, he should be thankful that Nate and Becky needed him to give him rides for most of Saturday because if not he and Elaine would've had quality 'bonding' time. The weekend could've been much worse.

Randy reread his completed essay for the third time, sighing as he realized there was nothing more he could change without admitting to Ms. McMahon that he was a month ahead. Yeah, like he needed to be labeled as anything more. He checked his email and hummed at the message from Mr. Michaels informing the Calc class that the scores were overall high though there were 4 or so kids in the class that were borderline failing the course already. Randy shook his head and checked his grades, smirking at the 98 he saw there and finally shutting his laptop. The football player stared out the window for some time before he got hungry and he couldn't procrastinate leaving his room any more. He cursed, getting up and finally leaving his room.

He got downstairs and went straight to the kitchen and prepared himself a quick snack. Randy finished the sandwich and headed into their living room. The house sounded oddly quiet and he had a feeling Becky was either at rehearsals or with friends and Nate was more than likely practicing. He hoped his mother was out as well but he had a feeling she was just upstairs working on one of her many activities.

Randy sat down on the couch and pulled up Netflix, watching White Chicks the whole way through and feeling slightly calm as he set up the Wii instead and started playing Mario Kart.

Halfway through his second race his mom gave an exasperated sigh from the top of the stairwell and Randy winced. He started shutting off the game but the damage had been done.

"You've been on that thing for hours."

"Two hours." He corrected as he put the controllers away and stretched a bit.

"Don't talk back to me."

Randy ground his teeth together but didn't say anything more and began heading back to the kitchen for some water.

"What you should be doing is schoolwork. You're close to the top of your class, I bet you can get Valedictorian if you tried hard enough."

He stopped, turning to look at her and feeling sadness and anger fill him. His mom had that affect; she could make him feel things that shouldn't be felt simultaneously with just one sentence. "I've done all my schoolwork. We just had a test in Calc. Spanish project is done – at least my part. Next two English papers are done. History notes are taken. Chem lab report is done a week in advance. There is nothing more to do."

"Recheck your work."

Randy growled a bit at that, throwing his hands up in the air and giving his mom an annoyed look "I have! It's why I came down here to relax. It's Sunday, Elaine.. I usually don't even spend the weekend at this house."

"Don't talk to me like that. And I know you don't.. always out with your friends doing god knows what."

He laughed, shaking his head and grabbing his keys. "What do you want me here for? So you can scream at me for no reason when Dad's not around? Or maybe to take a break from sitting around with a stick up your ass?"

"Randall Keith Orton! I forbid you to talk to me that way! I am your mother."

Randy actually scoffed at that, opening the door and glaring at her "You should start acting like one." He turned to leave but not before stopping and looking at the woman ".. here's a tip, ma: try giving people respect and TRUST and maybe then you'll build real relationships.. not ones based off money and business."

"Your father will hear about this."

"Good. Maybe that way he'll finally realize how irrational you are with your pretenses and I can tell him what you think of me. Bein' Salutatorian not good enough for the Orton name?" he rolled his eyes and shook his head before slamming the door behind him, not even bothering to listen to what the woman had to say because she'd undoubtedly only play victim and then push everything back on Randy, making him feel even more ashamed and guilty than he already did.

Just a few more months.

He felt another wave of guilt rush through him then. He shouldn't be feeling this excited to leave his family behind. He was leaving Nate to his mother's abusive words and Becky with his mother as the only guide through life when their father wasn't around. Randy's skin began crawling, head starting to spin. He slammed the door to his car and revved the engine, searching around frantically in his glove compartment and sliding on the thick rubber band he always kept there.

Snap. Snap. Pain shot across his wrist then dulled to a slight stinging, distracting him from the itching of his skin and the tapping of his fingers.. Snap. but most importantly distracting him from the urge to self-harm.

Once his breathing calmed down enough and he was sure he was able to fully focus on driving, Randy shifted the car into gear and began driving. He didn't know where he was going but that was okay. Driving soothed him and gave him something to focus his mind on. His favorite playlist was on and right now he was feeling okay. Not good, not better.. just okay. His default setting.

Soon, it was dark out and before Randy even knew where he was going, he parked next to the beach. Randy smiled softly to himself and just stared at the distant waves he could see from his car. He reached for his phone to snap a picture and maybe send it to Cody so he could come talk to him but cursed when he remembered that he'd left it at the house.

Randy groaned and tossed his head back against the seat, staring at the ceiling of the car for a few minutes. He shot up when he remembered that he always kept a bag under his backseat for nights like this. The teen reached for the red bag and smirked as he pulled out a few bills. He may be phone-less right now but at least he could finally get something to drink and maybe walk along the beach.

He walked the two blocks to the store and bought a water bottle as well as a chocolate bar because fuck his diet and because he needed something to perk up the night. Randy was familiar with this beach, spending countless hours here with his brother and dad –and more recently, now with his friends.

Randy thought back to the first time he came to the beach with John and actually got in the water. It was about five years ago and he could still picture the look of worry and shock on John's face when he saw the few scars Randy already had on his 12-year-old body. The conversation they had after John began questioning him dulled the rest of their time at the beach but even then.. it brought them closer together than they ever were. John invited him and Nate over as much as his family would allow and that's really when John's family became like a home to him.

Randy was thankful for the darkness surrounding him and making it hard for couples and families to see the scars along his arms. It was something he was self-conscious about. And had he known he was going to end up at the beach he would've brought a hoodie; it's not like he planned on swimming right now.

It was easy not to think of anything here, the crash of the waves against the sand and rocks taking his mind away from what happened at the house. He aimlessly walked along the beach, reaching down every so often to pick up a nice shell and inspect it or grab a rock and toss it into the sea.

Randy surprised himself when he ended up at the little hideaway he met Seth in. He considered leaving but decided against it since it was empty and isolated. The teen needed a place like this right now. He sighed and sat down on the rock, hunching over and running his fingers through the cool sand.

The moon was high up in the sky by now, its pale light making the sea look even more peaceful than it usually did. He bit his lip and drew random patterns in the sand as he looked out into the ocean. Sometimes he wished he could be part of it.. just get lost in it and not have to worry about the stress drowning him on a day to day basis. But as terrible as his mother made him feel or as horrid as his thoughts got.. he didn't think he'd ever be brave enough to make that sacrifice. The guilt of leaving his brother and sister behind with that haunting them through school was suffocating him from just thinking about it.

He snapped the rubber band again and just looked out into the water, mind slowly going blank as he continued to slap the elastic around his wrist.

"-irl can I tell you a terrible thing, it seems that I'm sick and I've only got wee-.." Seth trailed off from the quiet singing as he got closer to the alcove, frowning a bit when he heard sniffles just loud enough to be heard over the crash of the water against the sand. When he stepped around and saw someone sitting on his favorite spot, the moonlight illuminating the person just enough for Seth to make out their face. "Oh sh-.. I'm sorry. I didn't know anyone was here." He muttered as he started backtracking, mind spinning with questions.

Randy immediately stopped the snapping at the sound of the first syllable being uttered. He got up and stepped away from the voice, instinctively trying to hide his scars with the darkness as he shook his head. Once he looked up and his gaze locked with Seth's, he turned a slight red and wiped at his face. The football player cleared his throat and shook his head again "N-nah. Don't worry about it. I was just leaving."

Before he could stop himself, Seth muttered out "You don't have to."

Randy held gazes with the teen as if checking if it was a real offer. He absently rubbed at his arm and looked out over the water again, actually considering staying there. Perhaps it was the fact that Seth didn't know him or that Seth hadn't been around Randy enough to make assumptions about him.. but Randy felt relatively calm around the other teen. Hell, he felt like Seth was the only one in his life that didn't have expectations for him.. that made it easy for Randy to act like himself.

He let out a breath and inched closer as he looked out to the water again "I feel like I'm takin' your spot if I stay."

The teen's voice was strained and Seth knew right away he'd been crying. He didn't comment on it seeing as it wasn't his place to be saying anything but he did shrug as he sat down where Randy had been and reached over to give the football player his water and smirking when he saw the candy bar. "It's not my spot. I mean I do come here almost every night but.. everyone can use it." he flushed when he realized he wasn't making sense and handed Randy the chocolate as well. "I thought you didn't eat sweets?"

Randy blinked, small smile on his face as he caught on to what Seth was referring to "I never said I didn't. I just rarely do." He grinned as he took the candy bar and broke it in half, passing some to Seth and sitting on the sand next to the two-toned teen.

He took the candy and hummed in thought as he bit into the sweet treat "..I swear if I didn't know any better I'd think you were fattening me up to keep me from the team."

"What team?"

Seth flushed, shaking his head and shrugging "I'm in the swim team.. it's a good way to keep up with the cardio." He shrugged and sucked on the candy, humming as the chocolate melted on his tongue.

Randy smirked, nodding as he brought his knees up to his chest, arms resting over his knees as he looked out to the water. "Teddy finally convinced you?"

He looked over at the football player, opening his mouth to ask how Randy knew Ted but then remembering that Randy was one of the most popular kids in school. Seth closed his mouth and shook his head as he finished off the chocolate Randy offered him "Nah. Well.. yeah, but not alone. This kid named Dolph actually told me that it wasn't just about recruiting.. he told me that I was actually pretty fast and.. maybe they could help me out with techniques."

Randy nodded, smiling at Seth "That's good. Ted was about ready to beg you.. at least that's what Codes told me." He shrugged.

Seth flushed but didn't say anything, looking out over the water and just enjoying the comfortable silence.

After a few minutes, he looked over at Randy and frowned slightly "I don't know how long I will be able to stay on the team though."

Randy met Seth's gaze, frowning slightly and immediately thinking about Cody's childish behavior and hoping the teen didn't threaten Seth in any way. "Why not?" he asked cautiously.

"Uh.. you got Michaels's email, right?"

He nodded and looked out over to the water, the ocean breeze caressing his face and making him close his eyes "Yep."

Seth flushed a bit and tugged at the hem of his tank top, looking at the ground and muttering out "I'm one of the four."

Randy looked up, eyes focusing on Seth as he shook his head "Really?!"

"I.. yeah." He nibbled his lip and quickly explained himself "..I didn't think it'd be this hard! I was in AB Calc at my old school but your school doesn't offer it as a full curriculum so.. I needed to take BC. I wasn't prepared for all the extra shit." He chuckled nervously.

Randy chuckled and leaned over just enough to nudge the two-toned teen lightly "So.. you tried stepping into the longer, complicated shit without learning the basics first?"

"Hey! I know the basics. That's what pre-calc was for."

Randy snorted, "Pre-calc was just trig."

Seth grumbled and looked towards the water again, face burning with embarrassment. He shouldn't have told Randy that. The teen was probably just going to rub it in. Seth braced himself for the teasing and set his jaw.

When Randy looked over after Seth's silence, he frowned when he saw the scowl on the two-toned teen's face. "It was a joke." He smiled brightly at the thinner teen "I never woulda been able to do this class without taking AB so props to you and shit." Randy thought to himself for a moment, "…I can help you out if you want."

Seth shook his head quickly "No.. it's okay. I don't wanna bother you. You have enough goin' on with the team and school."

Randy chuckled, "Actually.. it's not enough. I still spend more time than I'd like to at the house."

Seth frowned and looked over at Randy "You barely have time to do homework though."

He rolled his eyes and looked up at the sky "I wouldn't be offering if I didn't want to help. Besides it'd be good review for me for the tests and that way I don't have to study."

He hummed, shrugging a bit "Y-yeah.. okay."

"..if you want. I'm not gonna force you to take my help." He chuckled, "you're actually helping me out too."

"How?"

Randy shrugged, "…givin' me a break from having to act like everything is perfect?"

He waited, feeling as if Randy was going to say more and for a long time the football player didn't so Seth thought of something to say to fill the silence.

"…..sorry."

Seth looked at Randy in disbelief "For what?"

He shrugged, unsure what he was really apologizing for but being so used to doing it whenever he caused someone to feel uncomfortable. Randy started playing with the rubber band, fingers nervously gliding over his wrist as he stared at the water.

The silence started to feel constricting. Seth shifted on the rock and rested his elbows on his thighs. "You don't have shit to apologize for. If anything I should for asking about shit that's clearly none of my business."

Randy looked at Seth "Considering you're the first one to bother askin' that isn't John or Cody… you shouldn't apologize." He bit his lip and stretched his legs out "You have your phone on you?"

"Okay.." Seth relaxed a little and nodded, "Yeah, why?"

"Can I see it?"

Seth bit his lip but pulled out his phone, handing it over to the football player and watching as Randy typed away on it and the 'sent message' tone sounded from his phone. He looked at Randy with slight confusion but the man just got up and stretched his arm out, offering Seth his phone again.

"My number is in there. I texted myself. Let me know if you change your mind about wanting a tutor for calculus."

Seth looked down to his phone and could just make out the faint scars on Randy's arm. If it wasn't for the day old ones on the football players forearm he wouldn't even think much of them but Seth knew what those were. He had two on his inner thigh. His dad walked in on him cleaning them up and.. wasn't understanding or helpful so that's why his mom ended up bringing him to Santa Barbara. His gaze lingered for a moment before he took the phone and looked up to Randy's face. He wanted to smile at the teen but Randy was now looking down, arms crossed as he stood awkwardly. He was going to say something, anything to let Randy know that he wouldn't tell if Randy didn't want him to but before he could Randy started walking away.

"I'll s..see you tomorrow."

Randy's voice was nervous but Seth nodded at the teen, "Sure.."

Randy bit his lip and walked back to the car in silence, hating the feeling of shame and disgust that washed over him right now.

A/N: Well.. hope this answered some of the questions that'd been brought to my attention. Also, the fic I'll be posting as soon as I get the green light from my amazing love is in Teen Wolf fandom ya know, just in case you lovelies were wondering xD Leave your reviews? :)