A/N. Please read!
In the last chapter, the dashes I put to start the conversations didn't appear. Sorry about that, the document manager just didn't recognize it when I put them, I know it was a little confusing to read, sorry.
So a little explanation for you to understand better this chapter: italics for flashbacks to when Lily was living in S. Wales. If it's not in italics but it's not divided by the XXX it's because they are thoughts (what they were thinking during that time). Not in italics but separated by XXX means nowadays. I think two of the last chapters were like this and I didn't really know if you could understand them well, so maybe this helps. Also, this first scene contains some lyrics from different songs- don't own them, just writing them down 'cause they fit really good with the setting. Last thing! it changes from first person to third person in a couple of paragraphs, sorry if you don't like the variations (only at the beginning).
You will see I leave a moment of non-italics = what's happening now, a little in hanging… It will be the first scene for the next chapter, that will be posted a few days from now! I was more interested in finishing the scene in italics.
Sorry for the long A/N. I think it was necessary to explain.
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Standing in a crowded space I find your face. You come and put your arms around me, whispering in my ear, sending shivers to all my body, that everything is going to be okay. Well, if the author of the song couldn't be more right about what's happening right now to me…
You get a hold of my hand and take me to the centre of the room, where bodies are dancing to the beat. I know what you have in mind.
This scare me. I should just walk away. But my feet don't seem to move. My heartbeat is fast.
He pouts, puppy eyes on his handsome face. I am standing there watching him, trying not to forget not to act following my heart, to think about what I am doing, what is happening at every minute, the buzz of the vodka I drank upon entering the house is going up to my head, reassuring myself that it was only so I could get warmed up a bit, to fight the chill from outside. And resisting very, very hard not to let slip the smile that's threatening to.
Tell me, love, why you aren't right for me. The song says loud.
He is more drunk than me. All of his shyness these past days we've been sharing is aside. He wasn't this bold on his moves with me, even talking to me.
She is awakened out of her reverie when she feels a strong arm around her waist and a big hand settling down on her lower back.
Come on, you know you have me wrapped up around your finger. Oh! Wait, the song has changed, this one I'm sure I can't relate too, right?
Nice, two songs in a row where I could be the theme. Great. Thinks Mark.
He offers a sincere smile, she runs her hand up and down the arm that's surrounding her. My body is not listening to my brain, it is doing whatever it wants, why the hell is my hand caressing his arm? Lily, stop it, this is going to where you specially didn't want it going.
If you looked from the outside, you would think they are one more couple sharing an embrace in the middle of the dance floor.
Lily is dazed by the level of intimacy they are reflecting towards each other.
Looking over her lashes, she sees that he is staring at her. He catches sight of a beautiful blush rising to her cheeks when she is aware of the staring state he is in.
Then he sees, too, the change, the realization coming down on her, looking to where her hand is resting on the bulge of his bicep, moving it away rapidly, she separates from him, putting a safer distance in between their bodies.
She is scared. I'm scared. Doesn't want to risk starting anything or even falling for someone that she knows won't have any future, either if it's because her time in that house is going to be over in a couple of weeks or because she doesn't really think it could work or he could fall for her.
Rotating on her heels, she starts walking in the direction she reckons the front door is, feeling slightly overwhelmed by it all. The people moving, sweaty bodies in the warm ambient sticking her tank top to her skin making her uncomfortable, the pound of the music resounding inside her chest.
Mark is left alone, arms hanging limply on his sides, gaze following the slim figure of her friend, thoughts in whatever he has done wrong, in the why he cannot seem to talk to her about what's happening to him.
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Keep walking.
Keep walking.
Fresh, cool air shocks her, goose bumps rising to the attention of it. Damn, she forgot her jacket inside.
Keep walking.
You are afraid.
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Climbing on top of the little hill just across of the house where the party is still on, she sits down. Chilly grass is squashed under her bottom.
No more than five minutes after, soft footsteps can be heard, sounding over the not-so-loud music coming from the house and the dark, quiet night.
He stops not so far from her, his shadow seen atop the moon-lighted grass she is sitting on. Staying in silence, echoes of whatever song is now playing, reaching their ears.
She is waiting. So is him.
Waiting for what, exactly? Not the same. For sure.
He starts. Calm, not wanting to disturb the stillness of the night itself, neither the peace she now owns.
You wanted to come here tonight, right? You wanted to have a little fun, you said some time-off, outside the house would be okay. I didn't want you to feel forced to anything, Lily. – his voice sounds gruff, rough, sexy, all the drunkenness of before has seemed to have gone away. Nervous too.
She doesn't answer, doesn't think she needs to, just keeps looking to her feet.
I like you… a lot. –he sighs, taking a deep breath and changing the topic, Lily thinks, to control saying anything more that then, he will regret.
He sits beside her afterwards, stares to the front, to the views the gloom has left of the little town down the hill.
I can't − her voice is muffled by her arms crossed over her bent knees. Eyes looking at the front absently. – I'm thinking about going back home− she now turns her head to look at him, still over her arms.
Please, don't tell anything to your mother, I will do it on its time.
To say he has no words is an understatement. He surely was not expecting that. All the braveness he had inside the house, those moves and words falling from his lips, trying to convince her of something he thought she wanted too, is gone.
Looking intently into her eyes, hoping to see something to know she is kidding him. But no, she is all serious.
He sees her skin rising with shivers and remembers he brought her jacket with him.
Here− he says covering her with the jacket over her shoulders. She is not making any movements, just staring at him, seeming oblivious to the moment they are having.
She is thinking. Hard. The first thing he has said after spilling her plans of going home and is to her well-being. Lily, are you sure you don't want to try staying some more time?
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−I'm telling you mom, I don't know if coming here was the best. My head is about to explode with all of these opposite thoughts! I didn't think it was going to be so difficult. I was, am in love with him, only in one month I fell hard for him and now I am here, and I didn't even…− breathing deeply she continues− I didn't even think how much it would hurt him, but now I am and I know how much because I can't get him out of my brain.
−Even though he didn't really know, he tried to understand me and get my mind off of it all and make me smile, and that's a good thing, right? And why am I so stupid to let it go, mom? – Kate lets Lily finish her rambling then, her daughter drops to the bed with a ragged breath and cuddles onto the stomach of her mother, relaxing at the caress of her mother's fingers through her hair.
Before Kate has de chance to say anything, she sees the large bulge of her husband coming from the office.
−Oh! Hey, here are two of my favourite girls… What's up Lilypad? – says Castle entering the bedroom.
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Okay, if that's what you want, then I'm okay with that− he says nonchalant, shrugging, to then get up and say –I'm going back home, is getting late. You want to come with me or are you going to stay here? –
Lily is surprised by the change in his attitude, first he is all over her and now he does as if… as if nothing was going to happen inside the house on the party if she hadn't walked away. As if all of these days, talking, eating together have been just for the pass of his time. As if he didn't really mean what he said earlier about liking her.
And it hurts.
A response dies on her lips when she looks up to his face. It's tight, the tension radiating off his shoulders, visible, the retort of the why this switch on his mood, fading away.
Unfolding her legs, she stands up, taking the hand stretched out to help her. When she is on her feet, she tightens her hand inside of his, not wanting to break the connection, and starts walking the way home.
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Hope you like it. Sorry for any misspellings or mistakes with prepositions, etc. And thank you for reading. Leave a review, if you want.
Anna.