Please note that this story is a crossover with Queer as Folk (US). We have borrowed some of the characters from both shows to create a story. As fans of Gibbs and Tony we will of course focus more on them but the QaF characters will play important roles as well.

Requested by: gibbsandtony (Tumblr)

Writers: D and Sandy

Disclaimer: We do not own any of the characters! We only play with them for a bit but will give them back in one piece. The characters, shows and canon storylines that we might use, belong to their respective creators and owners.

Artwork: Inspired by D - Created and Edited by Sandy + Vicky

Gibbs' House the next Day

'What's wrong with me? My husband just died and I tell Tony that I'm still in love with Brian. Just what the fuck is wrong with me?' Justin thought bitterly. The young man was frustrated and so confused. Did he truly love Brian? Did he ever love Hendrick for real or was he just a placeholder for Brian? Sighing, he decided to grow some balls and talk to Brian, just like Tony had suggested the night before.

He walked into Gibbs' guest room where Brian slept. The ad exec was busy looking through files for a campaign.

"Hey Brian, do you have some minutes for me?" Justin asked quietly.

"Of course I do. What's going on, Sunshine? Are you in pain?" Brian asked with worry and concern in his eyes.

"No, I'm fine. Don't look at me like that, Brian. I am fine. No pain or anything. I just... I... Fuck! I'm confused. Please don't interrupt me, okay? I need to get it out." Justin mumbled but Brian nodded for him to continue.

"You know, I... I had this huge crush on you when we met and you took my virginity. I thought I was over you when I met Hendrick. I mean, you don't want a relationship and all that stuff and I really, really liked Hendrick. I did love him, still do, you know. But I realized that I never got over you tho. I'm still in love with you, more than with Hendrick and that's just so fucked up. I thought... I wanted... God, I married him. I planned to spend my life with him but I was in denial all the time. He could still be alive if I had been true to myself and admitted that I still loved you. I'm not asking for anything from you, Brian. Yes, I love you but I know that you see me as a friend and I respect that. I don't want our friendship to end because of my fucked up feelings. I'm a mess, and I know that but please, don't think I would want to change you or anything. I need you in my life, as my friend. Please Brian." Justin begged, sobbing.

Brian looked at the blonde. He tried to sort everything Justin told him and couldn't believe it. Justin still loved him? Was there still a chance for them?

"Justin, I was a fool. I cared more about my reputation and what others would think of me. I never thought someone could love me or want me for who I am. All my life, people wanted me for my looks, the sex or my money. You were the first who could see through all my mask and the bullshit I spouted to protect myself from getting hurt. You were never just a trick to me, Justin. And the prom... God, I thought I'd lose you. I... I couldn't do anything to save you and feared you'd die." Brian admitted. He took a deep breath before he said, "I do love you, Justin. Not as a friend. I am in love with you, have been for a while but I thought you wanted Hendrick. Your happiness is what matters the most to me. And if it means that I have to let you go to be with someone else, then so be it. No matter how hard it might be. You deserve the world. I never had a relationship before. Fuck, I'm just a broken fuck machine and I'm afraid I'd end up hurting you. But if you want me, Justin, then I'm willing to give us a try."

"I... oh my God, Brian. I never knew you felt like that. Yes, yes I want us to try but please let's it take it slow, okay?" Justin answered, overwhelmed by Brian's confession.

"Yeah, slow is good. Real good. Come here, Sunshine." Brian said and opened his arms to embrace Justin in a hug. They shared a first hesitant kiss before they both let go of their fears and kissed each other passionately.

Brian's thoughts after his chat with Justin

'He loves me. He still fucking loves me! After all the shit I put him through he still wants me. If I had been honest with him maybe he would never have married Hendrick. Fuck... Hendrick. I know Justin loved him, still does and a part of him will always love and remember him. He was a nice guy, caring and honest. He loved Justin more than anything else. Like I do. I still remember the day Justin introduced him to us. I wanted to kill him for claiming my sunshine but he really loved him...'

xxxFLASHBACKxxx
"Hey Brian, mind if I join you?" Hendrick asked the ad ex. The family was still inside, they had their Weekly Sunday dinner at Deb's. Brian went out for a cigarette, needing to be away from Justin and Hendrick when the 'enemy' walked out to him.

"Nope, don't mind but shouldn't you be inside?" Brian asked, his tone hiding his hatred and jealousy. He sounded annoyed.

"Probably but I needed some air. Quite a night, huh? Your family is great. I'm glad Justin has all of you. You know with the job his dad has. He's always so worried about Mr. Gibbs." Hendrick spoke gently.

"Of course he worries. Gibbs had a lot of near-death-experiences." He said and sighed. "Listen Hendrick, Justin means a lot to all of us. You hurt him and you'll deal with us." He warned the younger man.

"I know. I don't want to hurt Justin. He's wonderful. He told me about you and him. Don't look so surprised." Hendrick laughed at Brian's expression. "I know about the two of you. Frankly, I don't understand how you couldn't tell him what you really feel but that's none of my business. I just want you to know that I want Justin to be happy. He means the world to me and I know that he needs you in his life. As a friend since he couldn't be with you in any other way and I respect that. God Brian, stop looking at me like that." Hendrick laughed again at the outraged look on Brian's face. "I'm serious. I hope you can show me the same respect. It's always Justin's choice." He said.

Brian was silent for a couple of minutes, finishing his cigarette before he sighed and turned to the other man. "I do respect you and your relationship. As long as you don't hurt him. I... I care about him a great deal." Brian said and walked towards the house. "And Hendrick,... you're a good guy." He said and stepped back into Deb's house.
xxxEndOfFlashbackxxx

Brian sighed. He truly respected and liked Hendrick. Maybe the young man would still be alive if he hadn't been such a coward. Another sigh.

'Back to the present' Brian thought. He thought of the kisses they had shared not too many hours ago. He looked at his sunshine, sleeping peacefully for the first time. Justin looked more relaxed, less pained, in his sleep. 'I can't repeat the same mistakes. I almost lost him twice. I need to show him how I really feel, I need to be open and honest with him. He was hurt enough, it's time for me to make him happy, to show him that life can be better. How do I do that? Fuck! What does he see in me? I'm a slut, broken, damaged. I'm not perfect or even close to. I'm an asshole but Justin seems to see something - or someone? - else in me. I know I'm different with him, I feel better, happier when he's with me. Fuck, I need to talk to Jethro.'

NCIS-x-QaF-x-NCIS-x-QaF-x-NCIS-x-QaF-x-NCIS-x-QaF-x-NCIS-x-QaF-x-NCIS-x-QaF-x-NCIS-x-QaF-x-NCIS

At Ben and Michael's House

Ben was restless. He had been since Emmett explained Lindsay and Michael's behavior to McGee and Ellie. It was Ellie's reaction that made him think. He loved Michael, with all his heart but did Michael love him back the same? He doubted it. It seemed that Michael still loved Brian Kinney more than anyone else. After the bomb exploded, Ben could hear Michael screaming for Brian, not him - his husband - or their daughter Jenny Rebecca. It hurt so much but as usual, Ben swallowed the hurt and moved on. But was this the life he wanted? To come second to his husband, after the best friend and not-so-secret love of his life? Ben knew he had to make a decision.

At Mel and Linds' House

Just like Ben, Melanie Marcus was thinking about the conversation between Emmett, McGee and Ellie. Lindsay used to think that Justin would be perfect for Brian but stopped her fawning as soon as Brian and Justin made it clear that they were friends only. Lindsay accepted and liked Justin, she even helped and supported him after the bashing but it all changed the very moment they all realized that Brian's feelings for Justin were different.

She began to snap at the young blonde man without reason, stopped including him in their activities and didn't want him to babysit for Gus and Jenny anymore. She also began to cling even more on to Brian, ran to him with every little problem. When she cheated with the artist Sam Auerbach she told Brian but not her. It took Melanie a lot of strength to forgive the affair but she loved Lindsay. Melanie also didn't want for Gus and JR (Jenny Rebecca) to live in a broken home but she couldn't stop the unsettling feeling that their home was broken already. Her wife wanted a man, she wanted Brian. Melanie used to blame Brian for always interfering in their lives but she realized that it wasn't the ad exec, it was her wife who ran to Brian every chance she got. Melanie would never forget the moment the bomb exploded: She and Lindsay were walking away with the kids away when they heard the loud boom. Lindsay let go of Gus' hand and ran back to the club screaming for Brian. Melanie was left standing on the sidewalk with two scared and crying children.

How could she still blame Brian when it was her wife who made her feel like she wasn't enough?

TBC

No Gibbs and Tony in this chapter but a little forshadowing to what will come in the next chapters.

Remember: Reviews are always welcome and appreciated either in form of private messages or comments.

Thank you.

TTE