A/N: CHAPTER 4 IS HERE! PLZ ENJOY ;3

"That Nakashima just doesn't know where to stop."

It was way over bedtime. As far as "bedtime" goes in college anyways. Someone was always throwing a party, and everyone was always invited. I didn't always go. Believe it or not, I was pretty focused on my studies. Why? Yeah, why would a delinquent like me be serious about studying? Well... she motivated me. Just a little.

"Honestly, she's using college as an excuse. She was drinking pretty heavily in high school too. Whenever she was served alcohol, I mean," Shinozaki explained, leaning against the red brick building in the chilly night. The two of us had snuck away from Shinohara's party, tired of holding back hairs in the bathroom. We were outside the building, but the music still pounded in my head.

"That reminds me of something," I muttered, looking up at the sky. In the corner of my eye, I saw Shinozaki looking at me. "What?" she asked. I grinned with half lidded eyes and lazily sang out: "Naka-shima, doesn't have a problem, lying to herself, 'cause the liquors top shelf." She cocked her head to the side. "Uuuh..." "It's a song. I just switched up the lyrics so that it fit the situation," I said. She mockingly laughed at me. "And you're becoming a songwriter?" she asked. "Yup," I answered, exhaling through my nose.

"Then, write a song about me!"

I nearly coughed my heart out of my chest. "E-Er... That's a bit..."

I stuttered out. "Can't you at least try, Kishinuma-kun? Or should I call you Sia?" she begged me. I looked down at my feet. "It's not going to rhyme if I just come up with something so fast..." I kept protesting. It was scary. I mean, writing a song about a person? She shrugged her shoulders and mumbled: "Sigh... It's cool, I get i-

"I see Shinozaki swaying ..."

What am I doing. I'm literally just using a song and changing the lyrics again... Oh well. Improvising isn't my strong suit. She kept quiet and just looked at me with wide eyes and closed lips.

"Her eyes are on fire and her hands are up... Down on my knees and I'm singing; Ooh baby, ooh baby, I am yours..."

Fuck! I instantly covered my face with both hands when I felt my cheeks heating up. What the hell was I saying?! I'm insane, I tell you. So insane! What will she think?! I turned those lyrics so ... erotic without even thinking! How... How did she react...? I carefully separated my hands and peeked at her face.

She was covering her mouth with her fingertips. Her eyes were glistening and her cheeks were completely flushed. She looked... amazing.

Noticing that I was looking at her, she coughed and straightened her composure. "That ... You should do the same to your next girlfriend. It'll definitely... make her knees buckle," she said, lowering the volume of her voice as the sentence came to an end. "Knees buckle, huh?" I nervously laughed and scratched the back of my head. "Are you saying you would go for me?" I jokingly asked. She laughed, looked at me and said: "Kiss me like an adult and maybe I'll consider it."

I laughed. However, I couldn't get the idea out of my head. Kissing Shinozaki. I know she was joking, but ... Just then, I realized how much I actually wanted to kiss her. We've been friends for a couple of months, so would it be okay if I tried? Yeah, she can just push me away. Maybe I should go for it.

As we both had our backs against the brick wall, I started to move towards her. She looked at me intensely, her eyelashes casting shadows down her flat cheekbones. "If that's so ..." I mumbled, shyly gliding the tips of my fingers down her cheek. Why isn't she moving away? Did she expect this? Tch, does it even matter?

With both hands in her hair, I tenderly placed my lips on top of hers.

I was afraid of breaking her, but it was difficult to hold myself back. Oh god, she's not moving away. Is she secretly into me? Geez, why am I being so anxious about it?! Can't I just enjoy it in peace...?

"Nm... Adults don't kiss like that..." she panted out. It was then I noticed that her arms were wrapped around my neck. I pouted and tapped her on the forehead. She giggled, resting her forehead on mine. "You can try again," she whispered. I backed off a little, just letting our noses touch. "May I?" I asked, or better put, begged. "Mhm..." she muttered out, opening her mouth.

From then, I just went in.

My brain wasn't deciding what I did anymore. With my tongue almost digging its way into her mouth, I nearly violently hoisted her up against the wall by her thighs. "Oh m- Mm!" she moaned out in my mouth, clutching her cold nails against my back. My entire body was getting incredibly hot. It got insanely clammy inside my shirt, making me feel the sweat running down my neck. Every time we parted to catch our breaths, thin streams of mixed saliva leaked between our lips, even a little dripping on the sides of her lips, only making me more eager to kiss her again. It felt like it went on forever. Alas, it didn't. The lack of air nearly made her faint so we had to draw the line right when we almost crossed it.

Damn. I didn't know that adult kisses were like that. Even though I was 19.

My eyes were closed, but my mind was awake. So I guess, I was half asleep. That dream was more of a memory. A memory from the time I asked Ayumi out for the first time. It completely paralyzed me with warmth and heartbreak. Ugh, I need to wake up. What time is it anyway? I rolled to the other side and sluggishly opened my eyes, jumping out of bed the moment I saw the empty space on the bed. Where's Ayumi? Don't tell me Mochida came back! I threw on yesterdays clothes in a flash and ran out of the room, panicking. The house was huge, so I probably went through at least half of the rooms before I found Ayumi in the kitchen. She was completely at peace in her black robe, drinking coffee and eating from a huge selection of foods on the table.

I thought I was going to die right there. I was so relieved.

"Satoshi sent me a text last night," Ayumi started before I could tell her "good morning". "The gentleman that he is, he stayed to watch over her because she lives alone. He'll be back soon." She didn't even look at me. She's definitely still mad. "Help yourself," she said, having another sip. "…Thanks," I said in a hoarse voice. Right, that was the first thing I'd said this morning. I sat down ahead of her, taking out a plate and a cup.

It was so painfully awkward during breakfast. No one said anything, as if we both were alone and just minding our own business. I had to admit though, she looked really good even in a robe and her hair in an updo. I swallowed a spoonful of grenola and coughed. She looked up. Fuck, what do I say now?

"Ayumi, I …" I swallowed the remains of the grenola in my throat and said in a low voice: "I like you." I know. Super vague. But it was the truth. I liked her. "Pff. You like me, huh …" she sighed out as if she wasn't taking me seriously. "Yes," I said. I even reached for her hand, but she quickly recoiled and crossed her arms in defense.

"Yoshiki. I'm begging you," Ayumi said, surprising me with her vulnerable sounding voice. "Don't ruin my relationship with Satoshi. Yes, we had a good relationship, but I've moved on and now I've decided to marry Satoshi. It's as simple as that." I raised an eyebrow at her. "Have you really moved on?"She sighed and massaged her temples, frustrated and not willing to answer. That flicked a switch.

"See? You can't be completely honest with me," I said, struggling not to start glaring at her. "Yoshiki," she said sternly, as if to warn me. Feeling my knees going numb, I hissed out: "You say that you've moved on, yet you didn't seriously reject me last night. You liked it! Admit i-

"Quit it!"

She slammed her hand against the table and glared at me, her pupils quivering. "That's … enough …!" she said, leaning her forehead into her hand, exhausted from that outburst. It hurt. It really hurt to have her shout at me like that, even though I kinda deserved it. It's my fault that she now cheated on Mochida. I tried to talk, but I soon felt myself choking up.

"What … Just what did I do to mess things up for us?" I asked, close to having a breakdown. She didn't answer me. She didn't even look me in the eye. It was hopeless. I got up from the chair, got my jacket and shoes and left the building without saying anything further.

I'm glad my body remembered the way to the parking lot, 'cause my mind just wasn't there. It was too occupied to remember directions. I was just walking with a muddled mess for a brain. I was happy just half an hour ago. I slept with Ayumi. I had a sweet moment with her. For the few minutes it went on, I felt like I could carry mountains. She enjoyed it, there was no doubt about it! And she still lies to me and even herself! I really have lost her for good now, haven't I? Well congrats, Yoshiki Kishinuma. You've officially fucked up your life.

"Kishinuma?"

No, now I've officially fucked up my life.

"Hey Mochida," I said with very little enthusiasm. He had just parked his car and was about to close the door. He walked over to me with a bright smile, as always. "You're here too?" he asked, confused. "Uh yeah, I actually forgot my coat here yesterday and I had too many drinks to notice. I just came to pick it up today," I said, proud of how quickly I came up with such a believable lie. "Oh, I see," he said. "I heard about the drama with Naomi," I added. Mochida shrugged. "I wouldn't call it drama. Just a drunk single woman who I didn't want to leave alone," he said. I nodded. It was a short conversation, so I think the lords above heard my prayers.

"By the way, do you want to exchange numbers? I'd love to hang out with you sometime!" he proposed, reaching down his pocket for his phone. Shit. I can't say no now. "Yeah, sure. Let's hang," I answered, picking up my phone as well. We swapped them and typed down our numbers before returning home.

"I had a great time yesterday, Kishinuma. Have a good one!" Mochida said and waved. I waved back, not saying a word. He probably just thinks it's because I'm an introvert. Little did he know that I absolutely despise him. For obvious reasons, of course.

He had what I desired the most.

A/N: HOPE YOU ENJOYED! Just in case you're interested, the song Yoshiki made up, has the melody of the chorus in "West Coast" by Lana Del Rey. I just changed up the lyrics a little bit. SEEYA NEXT TIME ;3