Part 9: ..."The Talk"

No.

Jon stared down at me, dumbfounded.

No.

I looked up at him. My eyes were wide and unmoving; a look of horror and humiliation plastered on my face.

No.

"Uh…what?"

No.

"I…I…" I fumbled for words to no avail.

No.

"This is…uh…" He pulled out of me and sat on the edge of the bed. I could see his dick starting to soften. Knowing my luck, it would probably shrivel up and fall off.

No.

I quickly rolled off the bed and stood up. I scurried over to where my bra had landed and picked it up. I struggled to put it back on as quickly as I could.

"You love me?"

"No." Bra finally on, I moved over to my jeans, not worrying about looking through his jeans for my panties. I had to get out of here as fast as I could. "No." I jumped into the jeans and hastily pulled them up around my waist. I zipped them up, but didn't bother with the button right now. "No." I slid my shoes on, thankful that I hadn't chosen to wear sneakers tonight. I looked around frantically for my purse. Spotting it on the floor by the door, I rushed toward it, snatched it up and threw open the door. "No!"

As I turned in the doorway to shut the door behind me, our eyes locked for a split second. He looked…disappointed in me, and almost disgusted. I knew instantly that that look was going to haunt me for a long time.

The closed door now separating us, I squeezed my eyes shut so tightly that I could see colors. I took a step back and raised my fist, wanting to punch the wall, but not wanting to cause any more problems than I already had, so I swung my fist hard through the air. I ran down the hallway to the elevator, silently begging that it would already be on this floor. Luckily for me, it was.

Walking briskly through the hotel lobby, I looked over at the overnight clerk whose eyes had perked up when he heard the ding of the elevator. He had a creepy grin on his face, like he was getting some sick enjoyment out of my walk of shame. I averted my eyes from him and turned my fast walk into a run. "Have a nice night!" he called out as I pushed through the doors.

I continued my run to the car. I paused for a moment to catch my breath once I was seated and strapped in. For as tipsy as I was earlier, right now I felt stone cold sober and wide awake. Shock will do that to you, I suppose. It's like my body said to my brain, "Shit girl, why'd you have to go and say something like that? Fine, we'll bail you out of it this time". I set my GPS up quickly and peeled out of the parking lot.

My phone vibrated several times during the long drive home. I didn't answer any of them. I knew who it was and I didn't really want to hear what he had to say. I mean, what could it have been? Nothing good, I was certain of it. I was already feeling shitty enough; I didn't need to get yelled at for being a clingy little slut or whatever derogatory thing he could think up. I don't know why I assumed that he'd be calling to insult me. He never did before, other than calling me bitch and I didn't mind that so much. If what he had to say was important and he really wanted to say it, he'd leave a voice mail.

My mind began to wander. Would he tell Seth and Roman? Would they laugh? Would they be disappointed? They did say that they liked me well enough, but I'm not sure what they had expected out of me. I couldn't get the image of the three of them standing around me, pointing and laughing, out of my head. It was a childish thought, but it really bothered me.

"I love you." Ugh.

What was I even thinking? I wasn't thinking at that moment during orgasm. It just came out. "I love you." I seriously can't believe those three words in that order came out of my mouth. What a perfect way to ruin a lovely night, Miss Lana. Christ. And the cherry on top of this shit sundae, Jon was left with blue balls after being pent up all night. Well, he's probably fine. He probably has a few others in the area and called one of them up to help him wash the bad taste of me out of his mouth. Or maybe he hopped in the shower and jerked himself off, just to get that final release. The hot water running down his back. His large hand wrapped around his cock. His lips parting ever so slightly as he climaxes…

Wake up, you dumb slut! This is definitely not the time to be lamenting about the sex god you just left. You don't deserve him anymore. Just get your dumb ass home and sleep this off so you can wake up cold and alone in bed, as you deserve to. I sighed and turned on the radio to fill my brain with something other than my own thoughts.

The calls stopped coming before I arrived home.

I didn't work with Dave again until that Friday night. I suppose that was a good thing because it took me two whole days to get my face to look right again. I always thought my mother was being dumb when she would tell me not to make silly faces because they'd freeze like that, but it had felt like my face had actually frozen in that look of horror from Wednesday morning.

Although my face had gone back to normal, he could still sense that there was something wrong.

"Hey El, you've been awfully quiet all night. What's up?"

"Nothing."

"Look sweetheart, I know when a chick says it's nothing, it's usually something, so don't give me any of that bull."

I sighed and refilled some beers before I answered. "Things didn't go so well Tuesday night." I paused for a moment and then corrected myself. "Or rather Tuesday night was fine and Wednesday morning was fucked up."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not particularly, but I know you're going to harass me until I tell you anyway. So I had a great time with the boys. Everything regarding that was fine. Then Jon and I get back to the hotel and things started getting pretty heated. That was all good."

"So what's the problem? And I'm going to guess that Jon is Ambrose?"

"Yeah, sorry. I forgot I never told you. I think it was because I was trying to keep it secret or something, but it doesn't really matter now."

"Why is that?"

"Because I yelled out that I loved him. During orgasm. Twice."

"Really?" Dave laughed, his face lighting up in amusement. Son of a bitch, enjoying my humiliation.

I covered my face with my hands and groaned loudly. "Why why why? I went and I ruined a perfectly good thing! Hot, dirty sex with a cool dude and no stupid feelings getting in the way."

"Well, do you love him?" he asked.

"NO! How could I when we're just sex acquaintances?"

"Really, because the other day you were all about you two being friends with benefits, but now you've downgraded it to sex acquaintances?"

"At this point it's been downgraded to a restraining order!"

"I doubt he'd go that far, El. You're being hysterical. Also, I think you're lying to me and to yourself."

"What do you mean?"

"You say you don't love him and that it just came blurting out. That I believe. But I think that you do like him, like a high school girl with a bit of a crush."

"I second that!" Larry yelled from down the bar.

"Shut up, Larry, no one asked you!" I yelled back. I let out a reluctant groan. "Maybe I do. Kinda…sorta…" I mumbled.

"Good girl, the first step is admitting you have a problem." I slapped Dave in the arm and he laughed at me.

"But like I said, it doesn't matter anymore because he gave me this sad, disgusted look and I ran away in shame and he tried calling a few times, but I didn't answer them because I don't want to hear his voice again because I think if I do I may start crying and you know how much I hate crying and now he hasn't tried calling again so I kinda want him to call now and…" David wrapped his arms around me in a tight hug to stop me from rambling and allow me to breathe again.

"Woah, calm down there, girl. Yeesh, you do have it bad." He pulled away from me and smiled. "You know, it's kinda cute to see you like this. You were already married to Scott when I first met you, so I've never seen you in this girlie-girl smitten stage. It feels so wrong and I love it. Can I take a picture of you?"

"You're an asshole," I replied, but his smile and shining eyes made me feel a lot better.

Later on in the night, we put Smackdown on the bar TV. Ever since those college douches had got us to put it on months ago, it had become a bit of a bar tradition. I had converted some of the regulars into fans and we even started to get some new regulars who stopped by just because they heard that we showed it. It was pretty cool.

I whined a little bit when David turned it on because I really didn't need a constant reminder of that night. The fact that tonight's show was what they had taped before I hung out with them made it even worse. I reluctantly agreed to let them keep it on, but I warned them in advance that when The Shield's music hit, I was going to make a mad dash to the back, so make sure to get out of my way.

I was doing well throughout most of the show, but sure enough, as those familiar words rang though that arena, I felt sick to my stomach and I moved as quickly as I could through the sea of people. I foolishly looked up at the TV before I made it to the back and I saw him. That black underarmor tightly clinging to his chest and that ridiculous slicked back hair. His hair looked a lot better loose and fluffy between my fingers. I clenched my fists and pushed through the door.

I felt so angry and I wasn't sure why. Angry at myself, I suppose. Angry at him, too, for not trying to text me or something, but I couldn't blame him. I ignored his calls, so why should he bother trying something else? I picked up one of the glasses from the wash and hurled it to the ground, taking enjoyment in watching it shatter. That made me feel a lot better.

I began sweeping up the shards of glass when Dave poked his head in. "Are you okay in here?"

"Yeah, I'm doing fine now. Kinda dropped a glass though." I looked at him sheepishly and he understood.

"Well, that happens sometimes, right buddy? I'll send you a text when their match is over, okay?"

"Yeah, thanks, man." He left and I sighed deeply. I really didn't hope every Friday was going to make me feel like this now.

It was a week since the incident and David and I were both working early that afternoon, for some reason. Why there needed to be two bartenders on duty at 2pm on a Wednesday, I have no clue, but there we were. I was feeling a bit better by now, but the fact that it was a Wednesday again had me grumbling a bit.

There was a bit of a late lunch crowd, so I was in the middle of filling up another round of beer for a large table when David tapped me on the shoulder.

"Hey El, look at who it is," he said as he pointed out the window. There he was, putting out his cigarette and about to open the door. I gasped and ducked behind the bar. "Really? That's your strategy?" David asked.

"Shh! Pretend I'm not here!" I whispered loudly as I heard the door open and close. Looking up from my crouched position, I could see Dave roll his eyes at me.

"Hey, David, right?" I heard Jon ask.

"Yessir. What can I do for you today?"

"I'd like a Heineken. Please." He cleared his throat and I heard him slide onto a stool.

"Were you thirsty and in the area or did you drive all this way just for a beer?"

"Nah, I had today and tomorrow off, so I just decided to grab a flight here, you know? I like the area. It's kinda cool."

"Just decided, huh? You here to see El?"

I heard him sigh. "Yeah, I guess so." He guesses? I quietly grumbled to myself. That asshole has a way of getting under my skin. I looked up to see David smiling at him as he handed over the beer.

"Yeah, she told me about last week. That sucks, man."

"Eh, whatever. She never answered any of my phone calls anyway."

"What would you have said to her?"

"That I'm sorry things didn't work out and it was a shame that she had to go and ruin our little arrangement, but that I'm going to miss her mouth and her pussy and that I still like her ass." He took a long sip from the beer.

David laughed at his comment. "Yeah, her ass is kinda cute. But don't tell her I said that." My face was glowing red by now.

"You don't have to worry about that, man. We'll probably never talk again." He finished up his beer and put it back on the bar with a thud. "But you should tell her yourself, man. Maybe get in there while she's vulnerable right now and have some fun yourself." Wait, what?!

David laughed. "That'll be a cold day in hell, my friend." He cashed out Jon for the beer and then walked with him to the door. "Well, we're having some nice weather this afternoon, so enjoy it and have a safe flight back." Wait, was he leaving without even asking if I was working today or if I was upstairs? The nerve! Not that I'd have answered my door if I was home or wanted to talk to him right now, but…damn him! How arrogant is he?

"Hey asshole! You're really going to leave without at least trying to talk to me?!" I stood up from behind the bar to yell at him as he left, only to be greeted by Jon's cocky smile right in front of me. Dave had gone over to the door and opened it to lure me out. Fucker!

"Hey bitch," he said as he raised his eyebrows, continuing to smile.

"Shit!" I covered my hands over my head and dropped to the floor again. I waited for a few seconds and then peered up between my arms. Jon was leaning over the bar, looking down at me.

"You wanna talk so bad, stand up and face me, sweetheart, I'm right here." The condescension in his voice pissed me off.

I stood up again and slammed my hands on the bar. It was at this moment that I noticed the handful of bar patrons were all staring at me and Jon, clearly entertained by our performance. I stared into those evil eyes of his and huffed. "If we're going to talk, it can't be here. I've already created enough of a scene."

"I'll be fine working alone for a while, El, why don't you guys go grab some take-out from across the street and talk upstairs in your apartment?" asked David.

"I don't trust myself up there…" I quietly mumbled. Jon cocked his head to the side, eyeing me suspiciously. "Fine. Let's go."

I sat against my headboard with my knees pulled up to my chest and my head angled down. Jon sat in my desk chair on the other side of the room. I had asked him to sit far away because I was very uncomfortable being alone with him right now.

"Why so serious?" he asked. I lifted my head up and looked at him. "Since you obviously love me, I'd think you wouldn't be able to keep your hands off of me now that we're alone."

I snarled in response. "Stop joking, dick. This all makes me very uneasy."

"You think it makes you uneasy? I get told 'I love you' hundreds, if not thousands of times a day, from fangirls, you know? But it's a throwaway line."

"Well, please consider mine throwaway as well. I said something foolish in the heat of the moment and I was an idiot and we never have to see each other again."

He stood up, slowly walked over the corner of the bed opposite from me, and sat back down. "Are you sure it was a throwaway line?" he asked as he narrowed his eyes.

"Yes! How could I love you?"

"Ouch," he said with a chuckle.

"You know what I mean! This is a silly fling! Just for fun! I was in love once and it ended up being a waste of my life. I refuse to ever let myself love again."

"You sound like some girlie nighttime drama there, sunshine. You're being overly dramatic."

"And why should you even care whether I did love you or not? You don't do relationships, remember? You get too bored easily with the same chick?"

He nodded. "I did say that. And it's the truth. But you're more like a bro with tits and a pussy than a chick, so…"

I threw my pillow at him as hard as I could and he let it hit him despite being able to deflect it easily. "So you came all the way out here to tell me that?"

He started to carefully scoot down the side of the bed, getting closer to me. "Nah, I came out here because I wanted to see you again. Dave just gave me the excuse. It was his idea to have me show up and put on that little skit to get you to talk to me again." Of course it was Dave's idea.

Jon put his finger on my chin, lifted up my head and leaned in like he was going to kiss me. Don't give in, me, don't give in!

He suddenly jolted his head back, keeping his eyes on me. "I like you, Lana," he said loudly. "And from how you act around me, I'm pretty fucking sure you kinda like me, too." He winked at me and I felt myself starting to get aroused. Quit it, vagina!

He let go of my face and leaned back, propping himself up on his hands. "So I have a bit of a proposition for you. You wanna try out an open relationship?"

I shifted around so that my legs were crossed. "What would that entail? I mean, how would it be different from what we were already doing?"

"Well, we'd have to set up some rules or something. Right now, we fuck when I'm in the area, but when I'm in other cities, I fuck other chicks, but I don't tell you about it because why would I, you know?" He turned his body so that he faced me more directly. "How about this? We make plans for me to visit once a month. I should be able to manage that, at least. I'll try to let you know my schedule as soon as I can. There may be times where we have to rearrange it, though, cause sometimes they'll ask Seth, Roman, and I to do last minute signings and whatnot. We're in, like, high demand." He smiled and I let myself smile back a bit.

"I'm flexible. I'm a damn bartender, it's not like I have a rigid schedule like you." My face flushed slightly. "It'll be nice to see you more," I muttered, but he definitely heard me.

"Aww, you do like me," he said in a mockingly girly tone.

"Stop being an asshole."

"I can't, baby, it's in my blood." Back to that cocky grin that I couldn't get enough of. "So in between visits, we can still be with other people. Are you okay with full on sex or just oral stuff?"

"Well, I'm used to the knowledge that we're not exclusive or something, so yeah, full on sex is fine."

"I'll let you know when I'm with someone, okay? And you do the same for me."

"I doubt I'll do anything with anyone else. I've tried a little bit of dating over the last few months and I'm the worst at it."

"I want you to try. For me. The thought of you with another guy kinda gets me off."

"You've actually thought about that before?" I felt a little flattered by that. "Okay then, I'll try. But only for you, and I can't promise that I'll be successful."

"Wear what you had on at dinner last week and I promise that you will get so fucking laid."

"You're such a charmer!" I said through laughter, which was interrupted by him moving forward so that his face was very close to mine.

"And the biggest difference from now?" He brought his lips up to mine like he was going in for a kiss, but stopped right before they touched. I could feel his hot breath and it was oddly comforting. He brushed his lips along my cheek as he moved his face to my ear. He knew how much I liked it when he whispered low in my ear and he was exploiting it right now. "I'll call you my girlfriend."

I let out a slow sigh. It had only been a week, but my body had been desperately craving the feeling of his breath on my skin. "That sounds…kinda nice. So you're going to stop calling me a bitch or a slut?"

"Hell no, you're still a bitch, you're just my bitch now. And I like calling you a slut in bed. Or anywhere else we fuck." He bit my ear, making me moan softly.

"I'm a little nervous about this. Getting into a relationship of any kind. I'm kinda excited, though. But what happens if you end up getting bored with me?"

"We'll figure that out if it happens. I haven't gotten bored yet, that's gotta count for something, yeah? You just have to trust me, Lana." He took my chin in his hand and turned my face towards his, leaning in for an uncharacteristically sweet and gentle kiss that made my worries slip away, at least for now.

I never feel like emotion stuff feels genuine when I write it, but hopefully the payoff from last chapter was enjoyable enough for you all.

And now that Lana and Jon are in some sort of relationship-type thing, check out Emmajoneswatts' little Christmas side story for those two crazy kids. It's not as smutty as the main story is, but it's sweet, like a candy cane!