You guys are so AMAZING!! You kep reading and reading!! and REVIEWING!!

I am very hapy that some of you have not given up onme, because of my well... Turn of events.

But please do not worry! I have everything planned. It will go according to what is in my head. I am going to start working on Ch.4.

Bella sure is having a tough time, isn't she? Well it's ok. Dont hair me PLEASE!!

Because this chapter does not include Edward...

ANyways R&R

I NEED 15 REVIEWS FOR CH.4!!

I was shaking tremendously as Jacob's warm hands filled me up. This was far worse then a teacher, because he was actually going to succeed in going the whole way, and no one was here to stop him.

Why did humans that looked like angels have to be filled to the core with pure demons? They were Gods way of punishing me for doing whatever I had done to deserve this. Which, at this moment, I couldn't think of anything; only the lips on my body that made there way up and down my stomach, biting here and there.

My muscles would not move and my throat had gone dry; making it impossible to scream. The only thing I could do was lay on the ground, while this guy raped me, silently crying and wishing I was dead.

"Do you like this?" he said as he bit my right above my chest; his hand clutching my breast.

I couldn't speak, so I just laid there.

He did more things to me, that just made me feel like burning my skin. I remember seeing him get ready above me. His distorted smile playing across his face as he spoke words that I could not hear. He went to speak agian after a minute of just holding me to the ground.

"Ready?" That single word would echo through my head forever, getting louder each time. I didnt move as he drived right into me.

I screamed out and my body wrenched forward in pain. It hurt more then I thought it would. I began sobbing again and crying out in pain as he thrust into me with more power. I cried out louder.

He placed his hand tightly over my mouth, "Damn girl. I guess you weren't lying. You never had sex with the teacher." He laughed, "So you're a virgin? I thought at least Eddie would have gotten to you by now." He said a little breathless.

Who was he talking about…Eddie? Who is that? And then it clicked, and my eyes grew wide with horror. He was talking about Edward.

I couldn't help but think that in a time like this luck has given up on me. That I don't even have enough luck to help me get through a day without being raped. I should have never come here. I wished that I was with my mother. Yes, I wished a lot of things right now, but the one that stood out the most was:

Where the HELL was someone – it doesn't matter if it is a teacher or a student-?! I don't care WHO, I just wish I knew were everyone was while I lie on the floor being raped, at school.

The blood had grown strong and Jacob was making noises that I tried to block out.

It felt like everything was going in slow motion and each time he made a move I cried out more, until I finally couldn't feel anything at all; my body completely shut down. I drifted into unconciousness after that.

I was happy I was finally away from that scene. That I no longer had to watch Jacob look like he was about to explode. And that is exactly what he was about to do, explode, in me. Where I hoped and prayed I was to not get pregnant from this, because I wasn't going to tell anyone. This was going to be a secret that would be locked up in me forever. It wouldn't be like getting raped from a teacher, it would be worst, because I wouldn't have to see the teacher anymore. The teacher would be gone, fired, locked up.

Unlike this, where I have to see this guy everyday; I have to hear the rumors and feel the loneliness inside of me. The emptiness and pain that surrounds not only my heart, but my whole body; I have to survive through this, without friends there to help me. All I have to do is wait for high school to be over. Then I can go on with my life. I can move away, act like nothing happened.

But even though I would act, I would still see it everyday in the mirror. The part of me that is ruined and I don't even think I could live with that. I don't even think I would be special enough, or whole enough to deserve someone. My existents would be worthless to everyone that is to come around me.

I am now useless. I am like a toy you get in a kids meal at a fast food restaurant, you play with it for a bit, dropping it here and there. Then you just get tired of it and you forget about it. No longer important; that is what I am. Of course, I was always at least half of that, but now I didn't feel anything.

So from this day on, I will no longer be there for someone to drop around. I will stay out of people's way. Be the toy that was once played with, and is now a walking doll that will live with the desperation of wishing they had someone that would want them forever. That would hold them and be there best friend. Though, that might be what I have on the inside, I will not show any emotion on the outside.

It is the only way to keep my deepest darkest secret locked up. Because if someone was to break through my glamour, to be able to see the real me with all of the emotions, of not only being hurt and hit around in the past two days, but 

never being able to face myself without seeing the pain that has been caused to me.

I came back into consciousness. The smell of sweat lingered in the air were I l lay; I looked around me, but no one was around.

Ok this was starting to piss me off. Where the Hell were people when you needed them?

Wait, no. I am actually glad people never heard me, and that no one was around. Because I was to be the doll that showed no emotion of what has happened to me and my body.

I slowly got up wincing at the pain. I glanced down at the watch on my wrist. It was five minutes past three; the last block of the school day would be ending in ten minutes.

I looked at my clothes on the floor. They were all wadded up, but luckily no blood had gotten on them. Speaking of blood… how was I to get the blood that had come from me off the floor? I glanced around myself as I tried to think quickly of something to clean up the mess.

I spotted my underwear. Well I had plenty more at home, so losing one wouldn't hurt. I dressed as fast as I could, the pain slowing me down a lot. I quickly grabbed my underwear and mopped up the blood, before half running and half limping to the nearest trashcan. I threw away the sodden pile and slowly walked to the bathroom.

Thankfully the staff members were nowhere in sight. I don't think I would be able to come up with an excuse to why I was all sweaty and grungy looking. When I got to the bathroom, I headed for the sink. Turning it on, I almost decided to stick my head under the water, but I decided I didn't want to have to explain a wet head to Charlie.



I splashed the water on my face allowing the cold to seep in. It felt good compared to the pain that was running through my body. I rinsed my arms off and the back of my neck.

It took every ounce of my being to look into the mirror that hung in front of me. And once I saw my face, I immediately looked away. It was worst then I thought. I looked even more desperate, and hollow. My eyes were like endless pools of brown murky water that didn't move. They were dull; no life lived in them anymore. My skin was pale, and I had a bruise on the side of my face from where…Jacob had hit me. And my lip was busted open even more, but I doubt Charlie would notice.

I couldn't think about myself anymore, I couldn't dare look in the mirror until after I had washed myself away from the truth on the outside. I had to look the least bit normal, even if it was just for Charlie and the rest of the people around me. I couldn't dare let my guard down.

I walked out of the bathroom and then stopped. Where was my bag? Did I have it with me at lunch? I tried to think back to before lunch, where I had set it, but the image of Jacob breathing heavy over me washed away my memories of earlier.

I went to my locker just before the bell rang to see if I had stuffed it in there. And to my luck –which only decided to come when I wasn't being raped- it was in there. I grabbed my bag and slammed my locker shut and started to limp my way down the hall. The bell rang and I quickly straightened my posture and walked to the front of the school. Ignoring the stares and whispers I got.

When I reached outside I was grateful to see Charlie's cruiser. I walked my best over to the car, trying to act normal, looking up at the gray sky. It looked like it was about to rain.

"Wow, you look like Hell Bella…" Charlie commented when I slid into the front seat.

I grimaced, "Thanks, Dad." I said weakly.



"Bells, you okay?" he spoke softer this time as he rested his hand on my shoulder.

I tried not to wince. "Yea, Dad. Today was just a tough day. A few people are talking, but don't worry, its nothing that you need to think about, I can handle it."

"Well, okay, but if you need anything then tell me. I don't want anyone thinking they can talk and do whatever they want to you because of this."

Too late, Dad, I thought to myself. We sat in silence on the way home, the bumping of the car going across rough spots on the road making me scream in pain on the inside.

When we got home, I quickly got out of the car, "Hey, Dad I am going to go take a shower." I waved to him as he muttered an 'okay'.

I undressed quickly; getting into the shower and letting the scalding hot water try to rinse the memories of today away. I scrubbed at my body trying to make it all disappear. The memories ever so quiet, yelled at me in my head. Whore; Bitch, I had never been called those words before, and it hurt me. The words cut me like sharp knives.

Before I knew it I found myself on the shower floor crying. Crying so loud that I thought Charlie might be able to hear it. Why couldn't I have been able to defend myself? I seemed to be asking myself that question a lot lately. I guess this was what I deserved; even though I had no clue what for. I had done nothing to deserve the pain and torture that I had received today and yesterday.

But still, by far today was worse than anything.

I got out of the shower after thirty minutes of just crying. I wrapped myself in a towel and made a decision to not look in the mirror yet. I would give it at least two days. I needed some time to try and let myself heal half way on the outside.



I dressed into my old sweatpants and a ragged blue t-shirt, before I walked up to my window. It was twilight and the sky was a grayish-orange. I guess the sun had decided to appear when I got into the shower.

I stared out the window and thought about Edward. Why would he do this? He has made my life a living Hell in just one day. I didn't think anyone could do that, but I guess I was wrong.

Thank you, Edward. Thank you, so much. You have ruined my life. And to think I was actually starting to like you.

I felt a pang of hurt and pain, no not through my body, but deeper then that, through my heart. It ricocheted all through my heart, causing me to drop to the floor, my arm around my abdomen. Trying to keep what was left of me, in a slightly recognizable order.