Kindred Spirits
Chapter Four: Regret
~ o ~
Even the darkest heart can find its way back to the light
All it needs is a reason to
~ o ~
I awakened to find myself in a bed. Somehow, my bra had reattached to my back and covers were drawn over me. I sat up and looked around to see that I was alone. The door was shut, a gentle candlelight illuminated the room and all of my belongings were in front of the bed. I let out a sigh of relief and tried to move, only to feel a slight pain in my back. I reached for the spot to feel some gauze taped to it.
"He must've gotten the device out."
I sighed in relief as I got out of the bed, being careful not to place too much weight on my still healing leg. I made my way to my suitcase and put on a black long sleeved shirt along with some thick grey pants before making my way outside. In the room across from me, I noticed that the lights were dimmed and upon looking closer, I saw Sombra doing something with some holographic screens. I assumed that she was talking to her friends or trying to figure out some kind of problem. Seeing no reason to disturb her, as well as wanting to avoid her irritating questions, I continued towards the kitchen. I was greeted by the scent of...cake. I hid myself behind the wall and peeked around the corner to see that Aiden was hard at work, cooking what was likely dinner for the three of us. The cake I smelled must've been in the oven for a while as the scent indicated that it was almost ready.
For someone who used to kill people for a living, Aiden was quite diligent in everyday tasks as this was the third time he had cooked since I met him recently. He was stirring something in a large red cast iron pot on the stove. On the island counter behind him, was a large ceramic dish filled with pasta and tomato sauce along with a similar dish filled with salad. He stirred for a few seconds before putting a small bit of the contents in his hand and giving it a taste. He smiled and reached for two shakers, applying black pepper and some salt to whatever was cooking in the pot. He then covered it and removed the apron from his body. After hanging it up, he turned to the counter and began to grate a large block of cheese, which I assumed was Parmesan. He continued grating it for about a minute before he turned the stove off. He wiped his face of sweat with a towel before looking towards the table. The moment he reached for the plates, I stepped into the room.
"You've done enough. I'll set the table." I said firmly.
He seemed genuinely surprised that I had managed to get into the room without him noticing and once again, concern washed over his face.
"Are you alright? You're able to walk fine?" he asked.
"It's nothing I cannot manage. Now sit." I replied.
He hesitated for a moment, but finally surrendered and nodded.
"I'll get Sombra then." he said.
He left the room as I placed everything on the table. It was a little painful to stay on my feet, but I knew that I wasn't going to get any better just laying about and letting Aiden do everything for me. After placing everything down, I took a seat as Sombra and Aiden returned. Sombra for some reason still refused to wear a shirt, coming out only in some shorts and a black sports bra but at this point, I was used to her flirtatious antics. She teased many men in our past jobs together and I suppose she didn't bother to keep her professional and personal lives separate. Then again...I'm in no position to tell her what to do; she'd defy me simply for the hell of it. Aiden removed the cast iron pot from the stove and emptied its contents into a large bowl, which were revealed to be eight large meatballs. Each of them were about the size of an orange. He then reached into the microwave before drenching the meat in tomato sauce, which I assumed from its texture and color to be homemade just like everything else he did. He brought the meat to the table and took a seat.
"You sure you're not open to being a housewife mijo? I could get used to treatment like this." said Sombra.
Aiden shook his head and smiled humbly.
"Dig in ladies," he said.
I waited for them to get their own portions before I tended to mine. Aiden however, did not lift a finger to eat. Sombra was the first to take a bite and just as I thought, she was ecstatic. Aiden then looked at me. I responded by taking a bite myself...only to reach pure bliss.
This was easily the most delicious thing he's made thus far.
Instead of reacting in the same manner as the hacker sitting across from me, I offered him a gentle smile. It was only after seeing my reaction that he finally began to eat.
"I'm glad you both like it." he said with a bright smile.
One Hour Later
"So what's the plan?" asked Sombra.
Aiden pointed to some photographs of a private property.
"There was a surge in military activity around this property so this is likely where Talon is holding my daughter." he explained.
"The tracker doesn't say she's there?" asked Widowmaker.
He nodded before having Sombra bring up a screen that showed a satellite map of the area. The red dot indicated where the tracker was placed.
"She's been taken to and from this location several times in the past week so this seems to be the area where they're keeping her." he continued.
Sombra then cleared her throat.
"The problem we face isn't getting her out of there; that'll be a cakewalk compared to getting to her." she said.
She then brought up images of several of the guards, who were wearing masks with red visors over their eyes.
"Those visors make even my cloaking technology useless and considering how well geared they are, we can probably assume that they're very well trained as well." she said.
Widowmaker placed her hand on her chin, shaking her head.
"Undoubtedly the black ops division of Talon...but the question is why have these elite soldiers guard a little girl?" she asked.
"Because of her brain."
Aiden closed his eyes and sighed deeply.
"She's a scientific prodigy. Even at the young age of sixteen, she's miles beyond scientists who have spent their lives learning. They want to use her to develop weapons to be used for their cause." he explained.
"Wait...Nicole Beuclair? You didn't tell me that she was your daughter!" gasped Sombra.
The assassin shook his head and sighed deeply.
"She's all I have left in this world." he said as his fists clenched.
He slammed one of them down on the table.
"And I'll do whatever it takes to see her safe. So this is where you two come in." he began.
He pointed to a room that was highlighted on a floor plan of the property.
"Inside that room is a mainframe that houses a lot of Talon's research that she was forced to conduct. It's also where the main power is." he said.
Sombra smiled and shrugged.
"Need me to get in there and make things disappear?" she asked.
He nodded.
"You need to be careful; we won't be able to help if you get caught." he urged.
Much to Widowmaker's surprise, the hacker chuckled heartily and confidently.
"Leave it to me. I'll get it done." she said.
Aiden then turned to the sniper.
"Amélie. You're still not in the best condition to be going in directly so I want you to use the buildings around the property to pick off any guards you can. I'll be the one to go in." he asked.
She shook her head, now looking quite irritated.
"Are you insane? Even if I could pick off the guards outside, there's no telling what's waiting for you inside. It's a suicide mission." she said sternly.
"I said nothing about just the guards that are outside; the property is wooden, making it easy for your bullets to pierce the walls. With that visor of yours, you should be able to cover me just fine should anything go wrong." he interjected.
Despite his words being true, Widowmaker found herself hesitating to approve the plan. It would be one man against an unknown number inside and that didn't account for other risks that could exist with merely reaching the young girl.
"They won't be holding her there for much longer. Time's running out." said Sombra.
Aiden then reached into a bag at his feet and removed a black box from it before handing it to Widowmaker. She eyed him with a confused expression.
"To help you with maintaining a low profile." he explained.
She removed the cover to reveal a high quality suppressor.
"That's the same one I used back when I was still an assassin. It should fit your rifle barrel just fine. If you get into any trouble, get out of there and don't look back." he said.
His tone had shifted from his usual concern to an almost deathly serious one. He then turned to Sombra.
"You said you had a plan you think she would enjoy? Care to fill us in on that?" he asked.
The hacker snickered before lifting the tracker that Aiden extracted from the sniper earlier.
"Right now, Talon thinks that the tracker is still inside of her because I managed to hack it before the sensor went off and alerted them about its removal. I don't know about you two, but I think those putos deserve a little payback." she said.
She then turned to Widowmaker, who was now looking at her with genuine interest.
"I could set this off somewhere and perhaps you could get some answers about the person who ordered you killed. Provided you stay your hand long enough to ask them those questions. What do you say mija?" she asked.
A devious smile graced the sniper's face.
"We only need one of them alive. Tell me more as it develops." she said.
"No problem. Now...as far as breaking into this property goes." said Sombra.
She enlarged the holographic screen and pointed at different points of the building.
"My guess is that they're holding Nicole on the top floor, in the only room that has a balcony. That way, she has no chance of sneaking out unnoticed. My suggestion is that we approach from that side and clear out anyone in the way. The issue that I see however is that they likely have their own way of tracking her." she explained.
She reached into a duffle bag at her feet and removed three boxes. She opened the first one to reveal three earpieces.
"Each of you take one of these and take the third one for Nicole. These earpieces are completely silent and also have a tracking signal that I can follow. Once we arrive on that site, we're going to have to separate. When I'm in, I should be able to hack into all of the cameras from the mainframe downstairs. Hopefully, I'll be able to see if they have any way of tracking her from that mainframe as well." she explained.
She then opened the second box to reveal a small device that looked similar to a stopwatch. She handed it to Aiden.
"In the event that I'm unable to disable any tracking devices she may have on her, put this on her clothes and it will mask any kind of signal. Including the tracker you placed. That should buy us enough time to figure out anything we can do to prevent them from following her." she explained.
He took the device from the hacker as she then turned back to Widowmaker, opening the third box which was larger than the others. She then removed several bullets and held one of them up. It looked like a standard sniper bullet, except that the body and tip had a blue glow emitting from it.
"EMP bullets. One of these in the right place can shut down an entire block for several hours. In the event that I'm spotted on my way inside, use these to shut down the alarm system as well as the communications dish on site. If both of those go down, they'll have no way to call for reinforcements." she explained.
She placed the bullet down before lifting another one, which was a dart with green liquid in it.
"Knockout darts that have been modified to work with your sniper rifle. It won't kill anyone as long as you hit them anywhere else but the head. So take it easy will you?" she explained.
"Now why would I want to spare someone?" asked the sniper.
Sombra raised a finger.
"I'm going to use the cameras on the property along with facial recognition to find out if any of them are big cheeses on Talon's ladder. I'm sure you can get more answers from them and well...find out places you can hit to really hurt their operations." she continued.
Widowmaker smiled deviously once again and nodded.
"You know Sombra. Sometimes I really like the way you think." she said.
Sombra bowed comically.
"I try mija, I try." she cheered.
She then turned to Aiden.
"As far as you go mijo, you're going to need to be even more careful; none of us are going to be there to dig you out of a bind. I don't doubt your skills in the least but these cabrons are no joke. Nothing like you've dealt with before even when you used to fight Overwatch." she explained.
She reached back into her bag and removed a small device, similar to her translocator except larger.
"What's this?" asked Aiden.
"A translocator. This is how you're going to get out of there once you find her." she explained.
She brought up her holographic interface and typed for a few seconds, causing the device to glow purple briefly before fading back to normal.
"I've set it to stay active for ten minutes. Any longer and the battery will not have enough power to translocate both of you. Press the large button on the face to start the timer and throw it somewhere no one will see it. Once you've reached her, let me know and I'll trigger the translocation." she said.
The assassin smiled at her and accepted the device.
"Thank you Sombra." he said.
She gave him a playful wink.
"Now that we've ironed out the plan, I suggest getting some rest. Especially you mija; we need that trigger finger in peak condition if we're going to have a shot at getting this done." she said.
Later That Night
"How are you feeling Amélie? Is your leg still in pain?"
I shook my head and stretched the leg out to allow him to examine it.
"It's not difficult to walk anymore. I haven't had a look at it today however." I replied.
Aiden unwrapped the bandage and allowed it to fall to the bed. He smiled.
"You're fully healed. At least externally. By the time you wake up tomorrow, you'll be ready for combat again." he said.
I smiled at him as he tossed the bandage in the bin next to the bed.
"May I ask you a question?" he asked.
"What is it?" I replied.
His eyes narrowed.
"What are you going to do if we're successful in rescuing my daughter?" he asked.
I put a hand to my chin and thought for a few moments. I undoubtedly wanted some payback for what Talon did to me a few days ago, not to mention invading my apartment and placing me on a hit list. I knew of several Talon cells that I could attack to get the message across and I was sure that if I explained the situation to Reyes, he'd be more than willing to help me with the effort. But now that I truly thought about it...I had no idea.
I had lived the life of an assassin and my employers had now turned on me. For once in my life, I found myself without a true purpose. They trained me, altered my body and brainwashed me into becoming a living weapon and now...there was no hand to direct me or to pull the trigger.
I was alone.
"I haven't given much thought to it." I replied.
"Are you going to take revenge on Talon?" he asked.
I nodded slowly.
"That's definitely on the agenda. It would be foolish not to strike back considering that they will be hunting me until they believe I'm dead." I said.
Aiden's face softened as he closed his eyes.
"Is your drive to kill still as powerful as it was before you visited Gerard's grave?" he asked.
I opened my mouth to answer but I immediately froze. Truthfully, I hadn't given much thought about killing anyone until yesterday. I had attributed it to my injury preventing me from operating at peak efficiency as well as being a weakness they could exploit...but I really did not have the overwhelming desire to kill anyone. Not until my leg felt better. My concern was getting better and seeing what I could do to repay Aiden and even Sombra for what they've done for me. Neither of them truly had to help me and now that I truly thought about it, they were likely the only friends I could truly count on.
As annoying as Sombra is sometimes, there's no denying that she's very helpful when she's called upon. Though she acts like a child sometimes and it takes a lot of effort to convince her to take things seriously, she didn't have to help Aiden in getting me out of Annecy. She worked for Talon as well and it would've been just as easy for her to turn me in and collect a huge reward. But she didn't. She chose to help me and sour her own relations with the organization even though we didn't spend that much time working together. Then again, she could be doing it to help Aiden because they seemed to be good friends with a history I had no idea existed.
Then there was Aiden. The man who saved my life and probably the only person besides Reyes I would've expected to be so protective of me. Granted, he was my husband's best friend and our history together automatically gave him enough of a reason to want to help me...but he once again didn't have to. He knew the risk he ran of getting noticed once again by Talon and considering that he too escaped their reconditioning and went through the same process that I am going through currently, it still must've taken a lot of thought. The organization was not at all easy to hide from because they had moles and informants everywhere. Still...he's done so much for me and I only met him again a few days ago.
He cared for me when I was injured. He cooked food for me and treated me as if I were family and he even went so far as to risk his life to recover my equipment just because he knew I needed it. That's a lot considering that he hasn't seen me in years. He continued to impress me with every passing day and now that I truly thought about it, I couldn't imagine handling any of this without him.
"And now it feels like I need him...to help me whenever I need it. Because he's probably the only person alive who I could trust without any doubts."
"...I haven't thought about it much." I replied.
He nodded slowly.
"You're faring a lot better than I did when my conditioning broke. I had the unfortunate side effect of still being a psychotic killer even after I rediscovered my humanity." he explained.
My eyes widened as he leaned on his knees, his eyes gazing at the floor.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"I mean that the desire for revenge consumed me. To the point where I continued to kill without remorse because I couldn't find it in my heart to let go of the hatred." he replied.
I raised an eyebrow.
"Don't you think you have a right to be angry considering everything Talon took from you?" I asked.
He shook his head.
"I will admit that it feels good for a while. But then you begin to think about the value of life, both human and omnic. Then the guilt and remorse sets in when you realize the damage you've caused. Just because someone works for a terrorist organization doesn't mean they deserve to die; conditions could've forced them into it...among many other things. And nothing crushes someone more than the weight of guilt." he explained.
He then reached into my bag and much to my astonishment, pulled out a familiar photo album.
"Gerard helped me overcome my hunger for vengeance...and showed me that there is value in all life. Lives should never be taken if it can be avoided. No one is beyond redemption." he said.
He handed the album to me and for some reason, I felt my heart wrench upon reading the words on the cover.
"Notre amour,"
Memories of Gerard began to flood into my mind, but not at all like the previous times. Before, they were more for pondering on the feelings or trying to understand why they kept coming back up. Now...it felt much more difficult to keep them in mind, because of all the pain that was now flooding in. I opened the album...to see a picture of Gerard and I.
It was the picture we had taken of our first date when we were in our 20s. I remembered the day vividly because it was the first time I truly had fun on a date. Many others asked me out, but Gerard was the first man I truly had fun with. He decided to take me to the boardwalk in Paris, where we had dinner and watched fireworks. He looked so silly with his face contorted from the sour candy he was eating. I then saw the image of myself...with a genuine smile.
"How long has it been...since I've smiled like that..."
I recoiled immediately, dropping the album and turning away from Aiden.
"How do you know I'm not different from the others? What if I'm beyond redemption?" I asked.
"Anyone who is beyond redemption has one common trait: they rely on no one but themselves and they will do anything to justify their actions. You have done neither of those things." he replied.
I looked at him in disbelief.
"If you truly believe yourself beyond redemption Amélie then there's nothing I can do to change your mind. Which brings me to this..." he said.
He placed a keyring on the bed, which contained three keys.
"One key is for the black sports car that is parked in the underground garage of this building. Another is for the safe upstairs which has an exuberant amount of funds and the third is for an isolated cabin a few miles north of here, in the forest. If you believe that you will be better off on your own, take this keyring. All of it is yours." he explained.
I looked on in astonishment.
"All of what's happened must've taken you completely by surprise and there's no way I can expect you to be alright with stopping your lone wolf habits. Which is why you now have the choice to go back to doing things on your own. I will always be at your disposal if you need help and I'm very sure that Sombra will be more than happy to lend a hand as well. The choice is yours Amélie." he said.
Before I could say anything else to him, he placed a hand on one of mine.
"There's just one thing I want you to understand. Crystal clear." he whispered.
He then smiled a genuine smile.
"You're not alone. Not anymore."
Almost instantly, I felt my body begin to break down. The composure I was ordinarily able to maintain with ease was beginning to crumble. I began to lean forward, turning my head away as I tried my best to fight the tears. I still couldn't understand why this was happening to me...why his words meant so much to me and why everything that he said made me feel so...safe.
As if he sensed the flood of emotions running through my head, he scooted closer to me and looked on in concern. I couldn't form coherent words and I looked into his eyes, trying to figure out something to say...but my brain just couldn't process it all. By now, I'd have simply walked away without looking back, or coldly reject his help...but I just couldn't do it. For some reason I couldn't fully understand, I didn't want him to disappear.
Perhaps it was because he was important to me in my past life and despite knowing everything I did, he still chose to help me out of the goodness of his heart. There was no ultimate goal or great benefit from doing so because he was putting his life at risk. He even trusted me enough to help him rescue his daughter, putting faith in me choosing to help him when I could just as easily pick the alternative.
"...I don't deserve his concern..."
I could tell he was restraining himself from doing anything more because he knew how I would feel. How much it would confuse me and how difficult it would be for me to reciprocate any of it because it had truly been that long since I had known the feeling. The tears began to stream down my cheeks despite my face being for the most part blank. He reached into his jacket and removed a handkerchief but before he could do anything else, I squeezed his hand and leaned my head into his chest. I tried my best to regain control of my breathing and my now rapidly pounding heart. Much to my surprise however, I felt his arms wrap around me. It was in a protective manner...as well as a soothing one.
"Let it out Amélie. That warmth you feel inside...it's happiness. That pain stinging your heart...it's regret. That overwhelming desire to cry...it's sadness. That unrelenting need for forgiveness...that's guilt. There's nothing wrong with any of them...because it means you're still very much alive and more importantly...not beyond redemption."
For the first time in years...
I cried.
I cried for Gerard. I cried for all the innocent lives I took in the name of that disgusting organization. I cried for all the people I hurt with my actions.
That feeling...regret.
There is nothing more soul crushing than it.