Advice of the week:
Don't make music, let the music come.
Paul
"What should I wear?" I was feeling anxious and nervous, like I might throw up. I looked over at Seth for approval. "Is this ok?"
"God, you are being such a girl." I growled in his directions and he stood up and growled. Seth liked to fight and I liked to fight with him, it was good to teach the pups to fight. I took off my shoes and shirt and Seth did the same. We both phased and ran out of the house and into the woods. We were at it, clawing, biting and growling. Seth made one good swipe and managed to cut my cheek badly. A surge of anger flooded me and I was able to knock him to the ground, get on top of him, and hold him down; his neck was in my jaws. I'd clearly won. I phased back and threw my pants on.
"Oh man it is too early to be seeing your junk." Seth made a face but I noticed that he was the one giving a show. I looked away, mostly because it was too early for penises. We walked back in and decided what to wear. They were work clothes but I wanted to make a good impression. I couldn't wait for our first 'lesson', Lila had been on my mind all last night. It was driving the pack crazy.
"She is hot, I will admit." Seth said when we were in the car. I dropped him off at his work.
"Thanks, I guess." I was feeling protective of Lila and I didn't want more than one werewolf watching her. I hadn't felt this way before it was strange. Summer fling was what I had to remind myself; she would leave at the end of the summer. I couldn't remind myself of that painful fact too much. It was hard enough being out of her company for a few hours let alone a year, if not longer. I felt a lump in my throat at that thought. After the summer, would I see her again? I couldn't leave the pack. I begrudgingly set about my work, cleaning pens, feeding livestock, general maintenance. I saw José brushing one of the paint horses. He met my stare and I waved a little, out of good measure. He walked over and sat on the fence close to where I was watering the horses.
"Hey." I said. We were kindred spirits, both quiet and both hiding something.
"Hey." He replied. "You meet Lila, yet?"
"Yeah." I looked up and saw something strange in his expression.
"I saw you two last night. Getting comfortable?" his tone had changed to match his expression. I recognized it; jealousy.
"She is…well, you know." It was hard to express how incredible she was and how great she made me feel. José nodded and I could see anger welling up, this could get bad.
"Stay away from her, if you know what's good for you. Ok? She is not yours." He was raising his voice to an uncomfortable level. I could feel my own anger building but I knew that mine was more dangerous than he could ever imagine.
"I'm sorry man. I can't do that. I like her." That was an understatement for the year. Sad.
"I mean it Paul. You don't want to mess this up, it could have serious financial consequences." He replied. No. I needed this job, badly. Would he get me fired? Could he? Shit. Thankfully, I didn't need to respond because just then the company in question walked up.
"Good morning gentlemen." She beamed at us. "How are my two favorite men doing this morning?" Her good mood was helping to lift my sour spirits caused by José.
"You say everyone is your favorite." José added annoyingly, Lila was so god natured that she just laughed him off. She turned to me and I froze under her gaze, she was even more stunning in the morning sun.
"How are you, Paul?" she smirked at me.
"Much better now, thank you." A brilliant idea came to me then. "Well, I'd better get back to work." I took Lila's soft hand. "Until we meet again." I kissed her hand and she beamed at me in response. I turned away and could almost feel José glare; it was a win-win move on my part. I walked away and I could hear José's lies start. I heightened my wolf-senses to hear their conversations as I went back to my work in the pasture.
"So? He's your new boyfriend? Huh? Is that how it's going to be?" José had raised his tone and I involuntarily growled, it spooked Old Mally who was about 30 feet from me. He bolted. They both looked over at me and I pretended not to notice anything.
"Jo. Why do you think the worst of me? What do you really think of me?" Lila's voice was so sad. I didn't know the history there but I was worried for her.
"Your not answering the question." He replied with a bitter tone. I didn't like the way he was talking to her. So accusing so rude. Lila had a way people, I couldn't imagine anyone being mean to her for even a moment. There must be something in their past that drove him to be so unreasonable.
"I'm not answering because you are being unreasonable. I told myself I wouldn't date anyone after what happened. I don't want just some 'summer fling'" Her words hurt a little. Was she manipulating me with her flirtation? "I am sorry Jo, I've missed you, if that means anything."
From what I could see he shrugged, "I've missed you to Li."
They walked off together and I decided that I should focus on my work, and I had plenty I needed to work on. I worked up a sweat and had to strip off my pathetic sweat soaked shirt. I was still burning up but I would just need to deal with it; I decided to bath one of the younger horses. I found Loupe a new paint that was supposed to be valuable. I got the soap, a brush, and the hose. Little Loup was being bad and kept running away; she obviously would rather play than get a bath. I grunted loudly in my frustration that only spooked her more. I didn't want to get 'wolf-y' but I was feeling more angry now. My ear perked up when I heard footsteps.
"She's a spry one that Loupe." Lila had a joking tone, she also had a carrot in her hand. "Come here darlin'"
I watched in amazement as the stupid horse trotted over quickly to Lila. She just let Lila stroke her and stood there almost entranced by her presence.
"You've got to be joking." I said trying not to be too frustrated.
"What's wrong?" she asked smiling. Her sweet heart shaped face was almost too much, I wanted to walk over there and kiss her. I knew that would be stupid.
"I've been trying for a good twenty minutes to give that stupid horse a bath." Lila seemed a little hurt by my comment. "I'm sorry. The horse isn't stupid, just tricky."
"It's alright. And she is called a filly. That's the word for it." Lila was smirking almost dangling the knowledge in front of me seeing if I would bite.
"Oh, and what's this stuff?" I asked pointing to the different horse things.
"It's called track, all the equipment used for the horse is called track. That includes the bridle, saddle, halter, etcetera." I loved just watching her talk, watching the light of her eyes. We just stared at each other then for a moment; me just sucking her joy and she giving it freely. I continued to wash the filly as Lila continued teaching me different terms. It felt so natural just talking to Lila and working; it felt like we'd been doing this for years. I couldn't ask for anything better; just the two of us. I wasn't paying attention to what I was doing and accidentally dropped a pitch fork into my foot.
"Oh, my lawd! Paul!" Lila jumped off of the fence she was sitting on and ran over to me. The pain hadn't completely settled in yet but I knew I couldn't let her see my shoe or my foot.
"I'm fine. Just stay there and give me a second." Shit shit shit. How was I going to play this off? Shit! I took off my boot and looked at the hole that was quickly disappearing. The pain was searing and I bit my lip to redirect it. Ouch. Why was I so stupid? I was stupid because she was so beautiful. The wound had healed enough not to be so bad, I could show it to her now.
"Let me see. Oh, Paul, are you alright? Did it go through your boot?" she wasn't controlling her drawl anymore and the lilt to her speech was entrancing.
"Yeah. It hurts can you help me inside?" I asked faking the pain now. I just wanted it to seem passable. I put my arm around her shoulder and she helped lead me into the house to get some ice. I sat down at the kitchen table as Lila got some ice. Looking around I noticed the picture frames. One picture was a beautiful blonde girl with pig-tails riding a white horse. Another one was of a younger Kris and three Hispanic boys and a much younger Maria. There was a more candid shot of a younger Lila with a younger José sitting around a birthday cake. Lila's smile was about a million miles long, and José glowed a little being in her presence.
"Those are from a long time ago." Lila was blushing probably because I'd been starting intensely at the pictures. She reached for my foot and I instinctually pulled back.
"Sorry. It's a little tender." I was praying that my foot was almost healed by now. Please please please. I squeezed my eyes shut as I took off my sock for Lila to see.
"Oh!" I opened my eyes "You are such a baby! There's just a little red mark!"
"Oh, ha ha. Yeah." My foot just looked a little red from where about five minutes ago there was a bloody hole. How would I explain the hole in my boot?
"I guess it's true what they say. Women have a higher tolerance for pain then men." She was still laughing and holding ice to my foot. She was a lot closer than I had realized and her face was only about five inches from mine. I smiled at her and she bit her lip.
"You should see both of your faces right now. You two look so goofy!" Kris walked in and eyed my foot with the ice on it. "Oh dear, are you alright Paul?"
"What? Yeah, just a pitch fork accident. I'm being well taken care of." I broke Lila's gaze and could see the Kris was trying to hide a smirk. She just nodded and started making lunch. "I'd better get back to work."
Lila
He is so cute. Not cute as in, aww-what-a-sweet-guy, no. He makes me smile and keeps me in the best mood. All my troubles melt away when I look into his green-brown eyes. I'd been wondering all day what kissing Paul would feel like. I'd thought I was really in love with Jo. Jo had been my "big love", but his kiss was just average. Jo, I had decided was jealous of Paul. Amazing that that boy could act that way after everything. He pushed me away. I was deeply lost in my thoughts.
"Ok, I get it. I know I don't cook like your private cook back home. But you could at least pretend it like it." Aunt Kris was teasing. I hadn't realized that I wasn't eating my grilled cheese sandwich.
"Oh goodness, I'm sorry." I took a bite. It was greasy and perfect, just like I remembered. The sandwich brought back nostalgia that hit me in the gut. It was almost like I'd developed taste aversion to the sandwich when I thought about the last time I'd had one. I was crying on the air plane back to Tennessee. I was suddenly hit with the idea that I would eventually have to leave.
"Is it really that bad?" my aunt asked. Her huge tired blue eyes were watching me intensely.
"I-I just hate saying goodbye." I was trying not to think too hard about it. I did have a good four months. A lot can change in that time frame. "I wish I could stay here, sometimes. I love Washington."
"Ha! You are a funny girl. You love the rain? And hail? And snow?" my aunt went back to preparing lunch for the boys. It was Maria's day off but the boys were still working. They only lived a mile away but often times they would just stay on the farm. "You and that Paul are sure getting close. José and Poco told me you two stayed out together the other night."
"Heh. Yeah." I couldn't fight the smile crossing my face as she mentioned his name. "I really like him. He's quite…charming." I heard a strange crashing noise and a yelp. Nothing happened so I went back to thinking about Paul.
"Do you like this boy? Do you think you might want to date him? That didn't work out very well last time. Don't think I forgot." How could I forget? The image of Jo walking away and not turning back was burned into my memory. The old wounds hadn't healed.
"You also remember who turned down whom." I gave her a look that meant stay-out-of-it.
"Ok Ok. I understand that this is a touchy subject. Paul is a great ranch hand. I think I would really like to keep him, so please be careful." I didn't need to hear this. Paul was special; I couldn't stop thinking about him. I also couldn't seem to stay away from him for very long. He was so good natured and sweet. I was surprised when Mr. Martin told me that Paul did cliff diving and had anger issues. I couldn't imagine it.
"I think I might really like him. Is that ok?" I asked Aunt Kris. She just nodded and I heard a strange noise again. I got up to explore it; I walked very quietly and jumped around the corner.
"AH!" it was Poco and I'd scared him badly. He'd been spying; this was a nasty habit of his. I laughed really hard, and then sobered when I caught sight of his expression. "You like him. You like him? Seriously?" Poco was just a little guy and I knew that he looked up to me for guidance; I was like his older sister.
"Yes, I really do. I think he's cute and I think I might even want to date him." I said loudly. Poco and Jo would just need to deal.
"Well." I blushed at the sound of Paul's voice. He had been in the other room the entire time and had heard everything. I hid my face in my hands. "That sounds good to me too."
"Oh lawd. Help me and my life threatening embarrassment." I bit my lip hard and fought my bashfulness. I looked into those smiling eyes and melted again. I worked up a little courage. "Paul. I like you."
"So I hear." He replied. He was smiling so much that the entire room was lit up. I needed to prove, at least to myself that I was truly brave.
"Would you like to have dinner with me?" I asked quickly, I hadn't looked into his eyes when I asked. When I finally looked up Paul was beaming. Poco was cussing. And aunt Kris was rolling her eyes.
"Only if I get to surprise you with everything." He said with another smirk, I nodded it was all I was capable of at the moment. Paul walked by and squeezed my hand as he went outside to get back to work. Poco was gawking at me.
"You have changed a lot." He seemed unnecessarily angry with me.
"What is wrong with you? Don't you want me to be happy?" I asked him. We'd been friends and playmates for so long. I even remembered when Miss. Maria's gave birth to Poco. He was like my little brother, my little friend. I missed him.
"You don't even know him." He said with a whining tone.
"Yeah, and neither do you." I said and walked away. I turned back to face him again. "At least I'm trying." I walked away and almost ran smack into Jo.
"Ouch. I'm sorry Jo." His expression left something to be desired. "How's your day going?"
"Guess?" he brushed past me. I just stood there stunned; I'd had enough of this behavior.
"I'm sorry. Have you forgotten three years ago? Huh?" I was done with his bullshit anger, I was ready to fight this out. I wanted to date Paul, and that was all.
"What? I thought you were the one that said you wouldn't be dating anyone this summer." I did say that.
"Yeah, I know. And what did you say to me three years ago. Please let us not forget." I crossed my arms and stuck out a hip.
"I remember. I told you to go. I told you that if you couldn't stay then there was no reason even coming back." He said quietly. I looked into those eyes that I had once spent so much time looking into.
"Even though you knew I could never stay. There was no possible way that would happen. We were sixteen. I couldn't stay no matter how much I wanted to." I replied. "And you knew that, you knew that and you didn't care. You pushed me away anyway."
"Lila-" I walked away and didn't turn back, I couldn't hear what he had to say. I didn't want to; maybe coming here was a mistake. I thought three years would be enough time to heal. I spent the rest of my afternoon brooding away in my room, I wasn't convinced I could stay and handle the pain associated with Jo. Three years for a love that was as known to me as my name. I decided to take a walk to clear my head. I walked in the pasture and watched the horses running. It was then that I saw my reason for staying. Paul. He was brushing Jezebel; I watched the grace in his movements. He waved at me and gestured for me to go over to him. I cautiously approached him; I was still embarrassed. Hopelessly-head-over-heels for this guy. I'd had more than my fair share of crushes. This felt strangely different.
"Hey, you." I said awkwardly, it was just good to be around him even if I was being awkward.
"Hey." He stopped working and just stared at me. The day was cooling down and getting gradually darker. I loved this time a day especially in the Northwest.
"So, I'm wondering something." I was managing to gradually break free of my embarrassment.
"Shoot." He said smiling. I love his smile, he had straight beautifully white teeth it had a pleasing effect contrasting his skin tone.
"Why is it I can't seem to get you off my mind?" I said with a serious look. "What kind of voodoo have you worked on me?"
"Well, it took some time to workout. I knew that I needed to get a job here so that we could randomly meet. Then I put magic attraction dust in your coffee." He said matching me in seriousness. "But what I didn't count on was me not being able to get you off my mind."
"I see." I rubbed my chin. "Now that I've caught you red handed, what should I do with you?" Now it was Paul's turn to blush. I stared at him intensely and he ended up matching my gaze.
"I guess you will just have to kiss me." He said and took a step closer, I could see the extreme lust in his eyes and it frightened me a little.
"Oh. I guess I could do that. Close your eyes." I took a step so that I inhaled his scent. My breath caught in my throat, he smelled amazing. Boys usually smelled good, but there was something else there. He smelled…permanent. Maybe better way to explain it is that he smelled like campfire and pine and something else I couldn't identify. I bent closer and kissed his on the cheek. Being that close was intoxicating, I hated myself for pulling away. He opened his eyes and the intensity in his eyes sent shivers down my spine. All I kept thinking was: this date is gonna be good.