Paul
She was driving me crazy. Every time I tried to explain what had happened to her, tried to explain about José, she just didn't believe.
"You are tellin' me," me sounded more like meh, and her hip was jutted out. "that my old friend, my Jo, is a vampire? Ha! Then why was he outside? In the daylight?" she raised one eyebrow.
"We've gone over this a million times!" I calmed myself. Sometimes I forgot how loud my voice could get. "I've told you, it was overcast. Please, Lila, you have to believe me."
"Why? Why do I have to believe you?" she was almost hysterical.
"Because I love you. I want to share everything with you." I took one of her hands in my own. She pulled it away and walked off. I was starting to get very nervous. Had I really imprinted? Was Lila really the one? I asked Sam.
"What is going on? Why is she acting this way? I don't understand!" I had my head in my hands.
"Be patient. I can tell that she is the one." He answered calmly.
"How?! How can you tell? I'm dying here!"My frustration was bubbling over and I felt my body begging to tear itself apart.
"There is something about her. There is something very special and permanent about her. Why a werewolf imprints the rest of the pack must feel something for the imprint also. She just feels right." He answered simply. God bless his patience.
"She is just so frustrating!" I was scared and annoyed.
"Just hang in there, things will work themselves out. I have faith."
I was angrily shoveling horse crap. I had gotten so used to the smell that it smelled about as bad as grass to me anymore. That day had been bad. I woke up late, there wasn't anything to eat in the house, I had run out of clean clothes, my shoes had developed a hole, my truck was out of gas, and Lila had been acting skittish all week. The only good thing was that José had mysteriously gone out of town. I felt like I could breathe again, every time a vampire lurked I felt choked up and on edge. José hadn't been a vampire long; I was shocked at his level of self-control around Lila. I must have been too preoccupied with Lila to have noticed him changed. I couldn't believe it; and I was worried. I continued shoveling horse crap angrily; it was actually a nice stress reliever. I heard footsteps. I pretended not to hear until the person was a few feel away.
"I don't think I like you." Poco was now sitting on the fence sucking on a Popsicle and watching me shovel horse crap angrily.
"I'm sorry you feel that way." I had remembered an article I'd read about dealing with annoying people. I responded accordingly. He was practically a part of my boss's family. Poco was the baby and you never upset the baby.
"Well I'm sorry that you made José go away." Poco spat back at me. I stopped shoveling and took a step forward. I had to remind myself not to be too intimidating.
"I'm sorry you feel that way. I happen to disagree." I said simply.
"I don't care what you think. He is my brother and I want him to come back." This was typical of kids. They would just talk on and on about what they wanted. They also were painfully self-centered. Poco was the epitome of this.
"I hope you are able to see him soon." I turned back to my work. Poco didn't leave, he just kept suckling on his Popsicle and probably wondering how best to punch me in the face.
"Howdy Poco! Are you bothering Paul while he is hard at work?" Lila was smiling and looking fresh. Her expression darkened a little when our eyes made contact. I shuddered and felt bad.
"I'm not bothering him." He said and stuck his chin out in a comical way. I bit my lip to keep from laughing. Lila let out her musical laugh and I could feel my resolve and anger waver.
"What were you two talking about?" she asked.
"He was just explaining that he doesn't think he likes me." I said staring at Poco as I answered.
"Poco! I'm surprised at you! That is a very rude way to act." Lila drawled. She was scolding Poco while I went on with my work. "Will you let me and Paul talk alone please?"
"I guess…" he shuffled off, but seemed terribly displeased. I stopped working, again, and turned to face Lila.
"Hey." She said softly. I could that she'd lost her nerve and she seemed a little nervous.
"What's up, Lila?" I tried to smile normally but I was worried that it came off as more of a grimace.
"I-well-I miss you. I hate not talkin' to you." She rubbed the back of her neck and avoided my gaze.
"Hey," I said calmly and I took one finger on her cheek and turned her face so that she was looking at me. Her eyes were stunning as usual and my heart skipped a beat. "Oh," I breathed, "you literally take my breath away. How have you been?"
"Thinkin'. I've been thinkin' a lot." She looked guilty. "I can't tell you that I love you. I can only trust myself and put a certain amount of trust in you. I'm not makin' no sense am I? I just got off the phone with my momma, it makes my accent stronger. I'm sorry."
"No, never be sorry for who you are, because it's beautiful. You are beautiful. I'm sorry if I've been coming on too strong, I don't mean to." I could feel myself blush and I looked away.
"Paul. I am just not that kind of girl. I need time and plenty of wooing," she gave a sly smile, "only then can I truly love. You have to understand that when I love, I love forever. I want you to know that I loved Jo, I loved Jo but I was not in love with him. Does that make sense?"
"Yeah. Well, sort of. See, José is a vampire whether you like it or not. I will do everything I can to keep you away from him." I looked her in the eye and she sighed. I could see her resolve breaking.
"Paul-" her voice broke, "he's my friend. I never forget friends, call it Southern loyalty." She gave a forced laugh.
"You know, historically that's not really true." Then I got the joke. Civil War, haha. "I'm sorry Lila, I really am. He has changed and I'm scare for you. I'm afraid of what might happen."
"I don't even believe this! I can't. I can't believe the whole werewolf and vampires and zombies things."
"Zombies? Really Li? That's crazy." I joked. She was oblivious to the joke.
Lila
My internal struggle was driving me crazy. I wanted to believe Paul more than anything but my momma had raised me to see the ring before I accept the proposal. Or drive the car before I buy it; to trust and believe on faith was hard, it had always been a hard sell for me. I was stubborn. At least I knew I was stubborn. That had to count for something.
"Miss. Maria? Do you have some time for a quick chat with me?" I sat down at the kitchen table.
"Sure chica," she sat down, "what's wrong?" she made a little worried face.
"I need to forget Jo. You know how much I love and adore your family. Your family is the only family to me. Besides my aunt, you know. My momma and daddy didn't raise me past buying the diapers and a few quick smacks. They have two separate lives that just don't include me much. I trust your opinion more than anything. But I need to forget your son." I took a deep breath and held it.
"Oh, oh chica. José is going through some things right now. It makes me sad that you want to forget him, but," I remembered that breathing is always important, and took another breath, "but I know that you need this Paul boy. I can see how special he is, so don't worry. You have my blessing." She smiled and stood up and got back to work. I sat there stunned. How could she be so nonchalant?
"Just-just like that? You are not even gonna fight for your son? Fight for our relationship?" I was in a little bit of shock.
"Lila, if you aren't willing to fight for it, then why should I? José has changed drastically in the last few weeks." She shrugged and left the room. I thought I saw a few tears streaming down her face as she left. I couldn't be sure. I heard the phone ring and ran to go get it.
"Hello, Langdon Farm. This is Elizabeth speaking." I said in the most business-like tone I could manage.
"Uh hello? Liz?" I heard Emily on the line.
"Hey Em, how are you?" I sat down at the desk in the kitchen.
"Fine fine, do you have time to hang out with me this week?" she sounded strange but we did hang out often.
"Yeah, do you want to catch lunch?" we picked a time and place to meet.
Emily looked nervous and I started to worry. She was sitting at a small two person table in the small local café.
"Hey you." I said and sat down at the table, I tried to smile naturally at her but it felt more like a grimace.
"Hi." She smiled nervously. We went to get our coffee and fancy sandwiches. After a few good bites of sandwich and I could feel the food sink satisfyingly in stomach we started to really talk.
"I don't understand why you don't believe Paul." She was fidgeting. I had never seen Emily fidget in her life. Strange.
"Emily, what's wrong?" she shook her head. "No, what's really wrong?"
"By not believing Paul, you are snubbing everyone in the pack." She was wringing her hands. I could tell that she had been put up to this. Emily wasn't one for confrontation.
"I'm sorry Emily, but I just don't." I shrugged and pulled a muscle in my neck. Ouch.
"Why? Why is this so hard to believe?" her eyes were soft and worried.
"Emily, listen to yourself! It's crazy! Werewolves, really? Get real; it's just in his head. Is that why you guy call yourselves 'the pack'. Do you feed his delusion?" I was starting to get annoyed. I didn't like being picked on and I really didn't like being ganged up on.
"Lila, please calm down. I want to tell you the story of how I got these scars." Emily proceeded to explain the sad story of how Sam hurt her, how he didn't understand what was happening to him and how he hurt the one person he cared about the most. I wept for her. I wept for the loss of her skin deep beauty.
"I-I'm so sorry, Emily." I was drying my tears. When I took a closer look at her arms the realization sunk in even deeper. I was getting sad.
"I want you to be careful. Paul is the most… volatile. He has anger issues. I know he would never want to hurt you, but I am a warning sign. My body should be a warning sign." She shrugged but I could tell she was still thinking hard about this.
"I need to think, I don't-I can't-" I stuttered.
"You can, sweetheart, you need to believe. We all need you to be a part of this group. You are permanent whether you like it or not. Something will always draw you back to La Push and back to Paul. If you don't believe me try spending time away from Paul, it hurts." I believed her; at this point I couldn't imagine ever leaving La Push. That was a hard realization.
"I don't like having my southern pride hurt, but I was wrong. I am slowly starting to believe that you are… a-a werewolf." I swallowed hard and waited for a reaction.
"Ok, well good then." Was Paul's response. He smiled and gave me a hug. I leaned back and he kissed me so passionately I felt it deep down from the hair on my head to the tips of my toes. He made me so happy I almost fell apart and swam in his love and basked in his glow. His perfect tan face was so close to mine and I smelled the deep forest pine smell that came off his skin. It felt so beautifully natural being in his arms. There was truly no place I would rather be. And standing there locked in his arms is exactly when everything began to unravel and fall apart.