Tale of two Half-Sisters ch. 3
I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!
...
Mable bangs her had against a telephone pole... "Waddles, Waddles, waddles..." Suddenly she's grabbed roughly from the pole and slapped across the face!
Mable rubbed her cheek and was surprised to see an annoyed Dipper. "Dipper, ow! What was that for!?"
Dipper shook his head. "You realize that putting aside my own admittedly less then selfless reasons...your basically asking me to hurt your HUMAN friend to save a PIG you've know for like what? A day? Is that the moral here? As long as a cute girl gets a cuter pig, it's OKAY to let your friend get hurt?!"
Mable blanched. "Uhhh..."
"And another thing! Suppose I do get you Waddles because you fell into depression? What then?"
"Then...I get a cute pig?" Guessed Mable confused.
Dipper slapped his forehead annoyed. "Mable, we live in a town full of nightmarish supernatural creatures! All of them could gobble up Waddles and ask for seconds! But supposing he survives that...how will you get him home? The bus driver doesn't allow pets! How will you convince Mom and Dad? Pigs get HUGE Mable! Eventually, will have to get ride of him! And what will happen then? Will you fall into depression again, then? Is that just going to be your coping mechanism if life doesn't just bend over and give you what you want?!"
Mable was dumbfounded. "I...I just wanted the cute pig." Said Mable flatly.
"And I want people to stop making fun of me, I want to stop being a proverbial 'buttmonkey' to the universe, I want to be the same age as the woman I love, I want Grunkle Stan to stop sending me to clean the outhouse by myself! But that's not going to happen anytime soon! But you don't see ME breaking down do you?"
Mable had no idea what to say. "Uh..."
...
"So glad to have you here my boy." Said Preston Northwest. Dipper scoffs as he raises up his shackled hands. "Like I had a choice."...
...
"Why is it fizzling out between the two timelines!?" Demanded Time-baby. As the screen showing the timelines went to static "There's a lot of interference!" Explained a technician as he tried to get the monitor working again.
Time baby shook his head as he turned to Wendy, Dipper, Pacifica, Tulip, and Emily.
"Right...I'm sure your daughters can fill in the blanks later. Bottom line: Somehow, two different timelines have converged on this universe! One where you ended up with Wendy, the other with Pacifica."
"WHAT!?" Exclaimed Dipper in disbelief. Wendy he could see...but Paciifica!? The hated each other!
Pacifica wasn't too thrilled either. "Me end up with him!? As if! He's way beneath me!"
Emily looked at her in disbelief. "Wow...future 'you' was right...you really were a bitch before dad mellowed you out."
Pacifica looked at her furiously.
"Huh, your mom's a valley-forge girl stereotype and mine is a cool lumberjack tomboy...this is almost too easy." Retorted Tulip smugly.
Before Pacifica could retort- "Oh, it's on!" Snarled an angrily as she brought out her wristblades.
"ENOUGH!" Thundered Time-baby. "I don't know how this happened...but we need to stabilize the timeline!"
He activates a 'private room' to pop out of space. "First and foremost, we need to make sure these two get conceived. I've seen enough grandfather-paradoxes for one lifetime, thank you! So get cracking boy!" He shouts as he points at Dipper...who's gone bright red.
"Uh...I beg your pardon?" Asked an equally flustered Wendy, while a mortified Pacifica also gaped.
Time baby shrugged. "Things are too chaotic right now...if they don't get conceived soon...they might cease to exist altogether..."
Both time-displaced daughters paled, then rushed to their 'dad'.
"PLEASE HAVE SEX WITH MOM RIGHT NOW!" They both beg simultaneously.
Dipper promptly faints...
...…...
TO BE CONTINUED?
AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.
But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?
Love me, flame me, review me