Gabie
Week Later
III
"Do you remember the moment your best friend died?"
Steve freezes at my sudden outburst and frowns.
"Of course I do, it haunts all my nightmares," Steve admits. "I'll never be able to forget."
Peering into his mind I watch as he repeats the memory in his head.
The screaming man falling into the icy cliffs after slipping from Steve's grasp.
I can feel the sorrow and guilt filling the thought. My mouth goes dry and my eyes instantly glance over at the sleeping form of Allie.
Sedatives mixed with a compound of liquid nitrogen are pumping into her body keeping her from waking and burning this place to the ground. In her unstable emotional state the Extremis inside could kill her and us.
"I watched her fall, I watched the flames consume her. I felt the bond we share sever and I felt the agony from myself and Tony. In his thoughts he was wrecked with guilt and despair, he still is."
Tears begin to choke my voice as a son threatens to fall from my lips.
"We thought she was dead for ten minutes, I thought my life was over for ten minutes."
My shaky hands come up to wipe my eyes and I exhale sharply.
"The worst part was-it was-was that I failed her. I had to watch her fall, totally helpless to do anything."
Pathetically I begin to sob.
Covering my face with my hands I muffle a broken scream that erupts from my throat.
"I wonder-I wonder if she waited and hoped, or if she assumed we weren't coming, and I'm not sure what would be worse," I cry and attempt to hold my breath to stave the tears.
Cap reaches out at pulls me into a tight embrace, keeping my weak knees from collapsing beneath me.
"And the moment, that second, where he almost caught her, the relief she must have felt. That hope that was crushed when he missed her and she fell, what she must have been thinking."
I remember the fleeting thoughts in her mind, the apologies she was making.
"I know of course because the drug wore off just minutes before so we could connect again. It wore off just in time for me to feel it sever when she died."
Steve listens and rubs my back and I stammer and muse.
"When it reconnected I barely noticed, I was too busy destroying the entire ship," I admit and blink back the rest of the tears. "But then she was there, walking from the fire like a savior." A smile and a small chuckle escape the sorrow allowing me sweet relief, because she isn't dead.
Allie isn't dead, she's alive and she's here with me.
"But now she's asleep and I have no idea when I should wake her," I confess. "Because there is no let up, Steve her mind is in chaos. There's this constant whisper of 'how do I heal?' and 'how much time will it take for me to heal?' and Steve it's breaking my heart."
"Gabie I have no idea what to tell you," Steve responds and I nod into his chest. "Right now you know what's best for Allie and you just have to do what you feel is right."
"Yeah," I agree numbly.
It's silent between us and gingerly I pull away from his arms and move to her bedside.
It's quiet for a moment before Clint walks up to the doorway.
"Come on Gabie, your shift is over. Come eat with me," he invites and holds out his arm. I nod and squeeze Allie's hand before getting up and walking out.
Steve follows me as Tony and Bruce walk in past us. So far the shifts have been two person, just in case something happens.
III
Allie
III
Gabie leaves the room and Tony and Bruce sit down by my bedside.
I can hear their voices but that's it.
"Allie told me I should talk to you," Tony prompts.
"I'm here to listen."
And so Tony starts talking, so Bruce and I listen.
"We create our own demons. Who said that? What does that even mean? Doesn't matter, I said it cause he said it. So now he was famous and that's basically get said by two well known guys. I don't, uh...I'm gonna start again. Let's track this from the beginning." He pauses and I prepare myself for the story.
My mind barely catalogues details or distinct voices.
"It started in Berns, Switzerland, 1999, the old days. I never thought they'd come back to bite me. Why would they?"
I listen to him talk about sending Killian off and sleeping with Maya before forgetting that night entirely.
"So why am I telling you this? Because I had just created demons, and I didn't even know it."
"You didn't mean it," is what I so badly want to say, but I can't.
"Yeah, those were the good times. Then I moved on. After a brief soiree in an Afghan cave, I said goodbye to the party scene. Forgot that night in Switzerland. These days I'm a changed man, I'm different now. I'm well...you know who I am."
Tony continues on about the lack of sleep and the New York ptsd while my focus fades in and out.
"And I guess seventy-two hours is a long time between siesta's. Didn't think it could get any worse. Then I had to go and turn on the TV."
Tony stops suddenly and I imagine he's looking at me.
"My demons came after her too."
"What was the first broadcast?" Bruce inquires.
"That sick man bragging about the bombings, scared Allie enough to call Gabie, almost in tears," Tony responds. "Then the theater was blown with Gabie and Happy in it, they nearly died, and the next broadcast followed."
"After that one came the personnel one to the president right?"
"Yeah but before that I threatened the terrorist, gave him my address, and then took Allie back to the same place. I dangled our home like bait and he took it, he destroyed the mansion. Gabie and I fell into the ocean and ended up in Rose Hills thanks to Jarvis. Allie ended up in a hotel, getting kidnapped by Killian."
I want to stop listening, I don't want to hear this.
"We fought our way out of Tennessee while Allie faced Killian...alone."
The whirlwind of dark emotions bubbles up again, so I ignore the rest.
III
My ears pick up the ending.
"And so, as Christmas morning began, my journey had reached its end."
Christmas! I missed Christmas!
"At least the team is together in the tower like she wanted," Bruce murmurs.
But I'm not awake.
"Yeah..."
It's quiet before Tony continues.
"You start with something pure, something exciting. Then come the mistakes and the compromises."
Tony takes a deep breath and decidedly states:
"We create our own demons."
"I have a few of my own," Bruce agrees.
"Yes of course, there are people who say progress is dangerous. But I'll bet none of those idiots ever had to live with a chest full of shrapnel. And now...neither will I. Let me tell you, that was the best sleep I'd had in years."
Wait Tony no longer has the shrapnel in his chest? Is his arc reactor gone? How long have I been asleep?
I should be awake, the Extremis should let me be awake.
"Happy woke up, won't stop talking about the pretty nurse who looks like Sybil from Downtown Abbey. Gabie and I got Harley set up in a pretty sweet garage as thanks for his help. It's all falling into place, except for Aurora."
Sleeping Beauty? Am I Sleeping Beauty.
"And I threw the reactor off the desolation of my mansion into the ocean."
"Symbolic moment," Bruce concludes and Tony chuckles.
"So if I were to wrap this up tight with a bow or whatever, I guess I'd say my armor, it was never a distraction or a hobby, it was a cocoon. And now, I'm a changed man. You can take away my house, all my tricks and toys. One thing you can't take away...I am Iron Man."
There's a heightened dramatic pause and Tony exhales sharply.
"You know, and thank you, by the way, for listening. There's just something about getting it off my chest and putting it out there in the atmosphere instead of holding this in. I mean, this is what gets people sick, you know? Wow, I had no idea you were such a good listener. To be able to share all of my intimate thoughts and my experiences with someone, it just cuts the weight of it in half, you know. It's like a snake swallowing its own tale. Everything comes full circle. And...and the fact that you've been able to help me process."
"Anything Tony, I'm here for you."
"Thank you Bruce."
Peace, Tony talked to Bruce and I can feel some peace.
III
"I don't know if you can hear me Allie."
Bruce's voice perks my attention and I force myself to listen.
"Gabie has been having us give you this drug to keep you asleep, she said she wants to wait to wake you until she can see some peace in your mind."
They've been keeping me asleep?
"I don't think it's a good idea. I'm no therapist, but I do know the only way for you to heal it to wake up and deal with this. There'll be no change in your mind if we don't let you wake up. And I'm getting a psychology degree for you right now, so I can help you. We all know there'll be no way for us to find a therapist for you, given your circumstances. Soon you'll be able to talk to me like Tony has, I can tell it really helped him."
Bruce is rambling now but my focus wanders.
I want to wake up, how could they force me into darkness like this?
"I'm cutting the IV," Bruce decides.
It only takes a few minutes for the fire to return to me and begin moving through my veins.
The coldness fades as Extremis burns away the drugs.
One by one I flex my fingers, my toes, then my arms, and my legs.
My eyes snap open suddenly, unbothered by the bright lights and abrupt change of scenery.
Slowly I turn my head to face Bruce who stares in shock, still holding the severed IV drip. He's gaping at me, half in relief, and half in horror.
My eyes must be flaring red, like my flesh.
"Why did you leave me alone in the darkness? Why wouldn't you free me from the torment in my mind?"
Tears comes from my eyes but instantly evaporate on my cheeks.
"All-"
And then like that, I'm angry. Not only anger at him, but all of them.
"You left me alone! How could you do that?! I was calling out for you! Screaming for help! You all ignored me."
"Allie please we were just trying to do what we thought was best," he pleads and reaches out to touch my hand. As his skin meets mine it burns and he recoils in pain. There's a flash of green in his eyes before he jumps back.
"Since when do you care Bruce! You pushed me away! All I wanted was your attention and you couldn't even call!"
"I don't want to hurt you!" he exclaims and reaches forward.
The reaching hand, the yelling, it makes me flinch. Bruce seizes and yanks his hand away.
The anger dissipates into despair and my eyes water.
All I can see in my mind is Killian's smirk and his red hand reaching for me.
"How am I supposed to get over this?" I whisper and Bruce shakes his head.
"I'm not sure, but I am positive you can. Allie you have grown from one of the darkest times in your life, the accident, and I believe you can grow from this."
"Too much pain won't make me stronger, it will only break me. Bruce I am broken."
"Allie you a-"
Before he can say another word I place my warm hand on his cheek, I've cooled enough so it won't burn.
"Thank you for waking me," I say sincerely then meet his gaze. "Now sleep." Bruce's eyes close immediately and he falls over onto the bed dead asleep.
I have a plan, I don't need him stopping me.
Hastily I pull the IV from my hand and throw the fireproofed sheets off my body.
Someone dressed me in a pair of Star Trek footie pajamas, that someone was probably Gabie.
When my feet hit the ground I feel no pain, no disorientation.
Extremis has "fixed" everything in me.
Determined I stalk from the room and into the empty hall.
III
Gabie
III
"Do you want to know what she was thinking as she fell?"
Tony is silent but I continue regardless. He has to know, right know all he is thinking about is how much it was his fault.
"She kept saying 'I hope everyone will be okay after I've died' and then just before our bond severed 'I hope Tony doesn't blame himself, I hope no one blames Tony.'"
He stares at me blankly and tears start rolling down his cheeks.
The very last thing I heard was 'Gabie I love you' but that I keep to myself.
"She doesn't blame you," I state. "She would never."
"Did she believe I would catch her?" is all he says in return.
"Yes," I answer honestly.
"And when I didn't, when she fell, was she scared?" I shudder at the memory of her fear pulsing through me.
"Yes she was."
"Then I'll never be able to forgive myself."
His words are definitive and absolute, he will never forgive himself.
"I forgive you, and she forgives you," I murmur.
"How? I let her fall, I let her die! I'm the reason Killian had her in the first place! This was all my fault!" he shouts and shoves all the things from his desk to the floor. "HOW COULD ANYONE EVER FORGIVE ME?!"
I stand calm and composed while he yells.
"This chain of events wouldn't have turned out any different if you hadn't put your address on the tv. The Mandarin still would have found you and he still would have taken her. Killian targeted Allie at the gala event you hosted for her winning the contest not to mention finding your house would have been easy with a tracker or any skilled hacker."
"Steve, Natasha, and Bruce will never forgive me," he deadpans. "They'll never let me see her again."
"In time they will and she would never let you be torn from her life."
"I hope you're right."
III
Allie
III
Sneaking around the tower isn't hard, it's midnight so everyone sleeps; Gabie must be asleep if she hasn't noticed my thought process.
On the library floor I have a go bag hidden behind a shelf of vampire books.
It isn't hard for me to get there and grab it.
It also isn't hard to get to the garage and take my car. Tony made me a red convertible that can become untraceable if I so desire.
Inhaling deeply I throw my things in, rev the engine, and speed away from the tower.
III
So I left, I left my soulmates, I left my Gabie, and I left my life; now I'm going to the one place I've always wanted to see, Las Vegas.