Guess who's still alive!
Hello all. Finally, after a year I've decided to update. I'll try to start updating regularly but if I don't please keep bugging me until I do. Side note, there isn't some Spanish in this chapter, but as I don't speak the language I had to you my old friend google translate, so forgive me for any mistakes. Okay, go forth and read, hope you enjoy it. (as always let me know what you think) xx
Chapter 2
It was a couple of weeks later when Peter heard from Deadpool again. He was getting ready for a late lunch date with Mary Jane and her family and was absolutely dreading it. He's dealt with supervillains of all shapes and sizes, but nothing terrifies him more then Mary Jane's Grandmother. Never has he ever seen eye's so cold and lifeless. Oh and lets not forget the old aunts 'subtlety' asking when he and their niece getting married.
"My, you and Mary Jane have been seeing each other for quite some time, haven't you?" One of them would ask.
"Will we be hearing wedding bells anytime soon?" The other would continue.
This never failed to annoy him.
Not that he didn't want to marry Mary Jane, of course he did. She was great! Everything he's ever wanted. Beautiful, smart and, crazy of all, she puts up with him, which is nothing short of a miracle! She was the one, Peter was sure of it.
It's just…..
With everything going on, lectures, work, spiderman, it wasn't the right time. It would take up a lot of time and energy that Peter just doesn't have at the moment. Lets not forget about money! It causes him anxiety just thinking about it. No, right now is not the time, he wasn't ready to deal with all that.
Peter gave a grunt as he struggled with his tie. The TV blared on in the background.
"….a number of local homeless people have been disappearing off the street. Authorities say…"
His phone started buzzing on the coffee table. Peter gave up on his tie and crossed over to the living room, turning off the TV whilst doing so. He looked down at his phone, Deadpool's name popping up on the screen. A strange feeling fluttered in Peter's stomach. He's be lying if he said he hasn't been thinking about the Merc since their last encounter. He took a deep breath, before accepting the call.
"Yo, Spidey! How's it hanging?" Deadpool's voice came through the other line, not even giving Peter a chance to speak. "Ha! Hanging, get it? Cause you're-"
"Spiderman. Yeah a get it." Peter finished off, fidgeting with his tie that hung loose around his neck. "What's up? Everything okay?"
"Well since you asked," Deadpool started, his voice light and chirpy. "Have you ever heard of Mercs for Money?"
"No…" Peter stated, suspicion creeping up in his tone.
"Well, we're a bunch of kick- ass, superpowered guys. We take on gigs, spreading good around the globe, yadda, yadda, yadda. Anyway, a gang of shit-biscuits took over the main bank in Mexico City. They're holding a few people hostage and they're threatening to blow the whole place up. A friend called us in. Thought we could use your help. You in?"
Peter bit his lip, hesitating slightly.
"Mexico…. I don't know…"
"What you got against Mexico?"
"Nothing it's just-I have- things to do…"
Deadpool snorted on the other line.
"Wait, wait, don't tell me, homework?"
"Assignments." Peter corrected irritably, pushing his lips together in a pout. Deadpool barked out a laugh.
"And that's not it," Peter replied quickly, his cheeks growing hot. "I have a family thing with my girl-"
""Are you seriously telling me you're going to ditch a trip to Mexico for tea and fancy sandwiches with your girlfriend's family?"
"I-"
"Unless you're trying to stock up on brownie points, then you'd have my blessings. Do you do it on the ceiling? And also are you're Spidey webs anything like your-"
"Okay!" Peter cut him off, not wanting him to finish that sentence. "Okay, I'll go to Mexico with you."
"Great! I'll text you the deets."
A sigh left Peter's lips, knowing there was no way of talking his way out of this. Well at least it gets him out of that stupid lunch date.
"Just no killing, okay?"
"Right, no killing. Scout's honour!"
And with that, the Merc hung up.
"Scout's honour." Peter scoffed, shaking his head. Not even a minute later he received a text, giving his all the information he needed, along with a bunch of hearts and smiley faces. Peter looked down at his phone, a smile creeping up on his face. He shook his head. 'We're not friends, I'm just helping him out.'
"MJ!" Peter called. Soon the redhead pops out of the bedroom, all dressed up in a pretty purple dress. Peter felt a wave of guilt washing over him, this not being the first time he baled on her for a mission.
"Listen, something came up. I have to go to Mexico, urgent business."
Mary Jane raised an eyebrow, a bitter look forming on her face. Peter took a gulp, knowing he was in trouble. She held a sharp glance for 10 seconds before stepping back into the bedroom, continuing to get ready.
"Fine,' She replied cooling, pushing her hair out of the way to latch on a necklace "stay safe."
Peter, who picked up on her passive aggressiveness tone, scratched the back of his neck, his gangly form stood awkwardly in the door way.
"I'll make it up to you," He offered meekly. "I promise."
"'You promise.'" She scoffed as she put her earnings on, not even glancing at Peter through the mirror.
Peter took this as his cue to leave. He shuffled across his room for his suit, tossing the dreaded tie aside, and quickly left, before Mary Jane decided to show her full wrath.
The group was rounded up and in Mexico in under two hours, with the help of Deadpool's wicked cool Dead-Jet. They made their way to the bank were it was surrounded by crowds, ambulances, police cars and an entire squat team, gun's ready to fire. A man wearing a cheap, tattered version of Deadpool's suit stepped out of the crowd to greet the group.
"Deadpool, amigo mío, gracias por venir a ayudar cuando mi gente lo necesita más. Eres un buen hombre." He said, shaking Deadpool's hand. Deadpool clapped him on the shoulder.
"No problem man, anything for a friend." Deadpool said, before turning to his webbed comrade, giving his a rough pat on the back.
"This is Spiderman. Spiderman, this is my old pal Massacre."
"Encantado de conocerte, señor." Massacre said, shaking the Spider's hand. Spiderman hesitated, not understanding a word he said, so he turned to Deadpool.
"He says your ass looks pretty fine today." He gushed, then waving his hand before adding "Oh and something about being nice to meet you."
Spiderman nodded, a little flustered by Deadpool's comment, and returned Massacre's handshake.
"Back at ya'," He replied, before stumbling back on his words. "Not about the first part! About the, About the second- ah you get what I mean."
Deadpool turned to one of the guys in the crowd, asking him what was going on. The man said something in Spanish and Deadpool nodded in understatement. He then turned to the web slinger, who was waiting for information.
"There's a bunch of them," He explained. "They have a couple hostages, like nine or ten. They've got all the enterers surrounded. Their threatening to blow the place up. One wrong move and this place will be nothing but rubble and body parts."
"Okay guys, huddle up." Deadpool ordered. The group huddled together, waiting for further instructions. The group consisted of eight people. Deadpool, Spiderman, Massacre, Domino, Gorilla Man, Hit-Monkey, Machine Man and Negasonic Teenage Warhead.
"Now, before we get going," He began, looking over at all his super-powered companions. "I'd like to introduce ourselves to Spidey over here. I'll start. Hi, I'm Deadpool and I'm here because-"
"Cut the crap, Dead-Ass." Negasonic snapped, raising a sarcastic eyebrow.
"She's right, we don't have time to get acquainted with one another." Machine Man agreed.
"Okay, okay. Fine, we'll do it as we go along." Deadpool huffed. "Anyone got a plan?"
"Since when do we ever go by a plan?" Gorilla Man grunted. "We can just bust in there, guns blazin'."
"No, you heard what that guy said, one wrong move we're all done for it." Spiderman argued.
"La araña tiene razón, tenemos que hacer esto bien." Massacre added.
-"Okay, I think I have a plan." The wall-crawler began. "But we're gonna need a distraction."
All heads turned towards Deadpool. Deadpool looked up at Spiderman.
"What do you want me to do?"
"Go in there and be as annoying as possible."
A grin could be seen forming under Deadpool's mask.
"Bring it."
Soon the eight superheroes took their position, with Deadpool in the front-line, bullhorn in hand. When he was given the signal, he flipped on the switch of his bullhorn and carelessly stepped through the bank's main entice, ignoring the officers' shouts not to.
As soon as Deadpool stepped through the doors, shots rang out in his ear as bullets priced through his body. Despite being vigorously shot at, he walked on in, giving a good distance between him and the exit.
"Detener!" A man cried out, making himself visible to the Merc. "Un movimiento más y te volaremos los sesos!"
"Yeesh, who came up with the Spanish in this fic, google translate?" Deadpool scoffed before putting the bullhorn in front of his mouth.
"Sup guys, mind if I crash the party?" The Merc bellowed through his bullhorn.
"Un movimiento más y dispararemos!" They threatened.
"I didn't hear a no!" Deadpool sang. "By the way, loving the all black look, it's very slimming. And the scarf covering your face thing hides your fugly ass mugs perfectly!"
"¿Qué está diciendo este idiota?" One of the men yelled to the other.
"¿Quién da una mierda? Acaba de matarlo!"
The Merc's eyes subtly shifted above the gunmen's heads. He saw Spiderman climbing through the skylight, Hit-Monkey close behind. The Spider gave him a quick thumbs up before the two scaled down the high ceiling. Deadpool gave a smirk.
"Hey guys can we hurry this up a little. There's someone I'm trying to impress and-"
One of the gunmen shot the bullhorn right out of Deadpool's hand.
" Motherfucker!" Deadpool cursed back. "That cost me like $19.99!"
The Merc pulled out a gun and shot one of the gang members before anyone had any time to react. The gunman dropped to the ground, clutching his injured arm. The other gang members shot back, bullets coming from every direction. Pellets shot right through the man in red, the gunmen astonished that he was still standing. Five more men joined the fight.
"Oh! I didn't know we could bring friends!" Deadpool exclaimed over the gunshots. He gave a loud whistle. The ground shook as a gap opened in one of the walls. The dust cleared as Negasonic stepped through the clearing, looking down at her phone. She lifted a finger to signal everyone to wait.
"Just give her a second," Deadpool said to the confused gunmen. Negasonic dropped her hand, before tossing her phone aside. Before anyone knew what was going on, the teenager knocked one of the guys off feet, slamming him a few feet in the air.
"Whoa, easy there, tiger." Deadpool laughed. Soon Gorilla Man, Massacre and Machine Man ran in through the gaping hole in the wall.
And so, the real fight began.
Down the hall, one of the gang members heard all the commotion and rushed to get the hell out. He clutched onto his duffle-bag fill with money and called out to his partners but didn't get a reply. He turned to the next corner, hearing a faint noise. The hall was empty, but the noises continued. It wasn't until he looked up did he realize what was happening. One of his fellow gang members struggled against the ceiling.
The guy reached for his gun, but he was too late. Out of nowhere, he found himself being slammed into the wall by a flash of red. He found himself unable to move, glued to the wall.
"Looks like you're in a pretty sticky situation." Spiderman's obnoxious voice came into earshot.
Another gang-member came up behind him with a knife. The web- slinger dodged the attack, knocking the knife out of their hand. The attacher was significantly smaller then him, So Peter got the upper hand right away, twisting the their arm around their back, restraining them from fighting back. The scarf slipped off the attacker's face, revealing a young woman, panting heavily as she tried to get the upper hand.
"I know taxes are killer," The masked hero started, "but have you ever thought of a line of work a little less illegal? I hear Dentists have a pretty good salary."
She spat at him.
"Okay, okay. How about bank- heh, okay maybe not..."
He restrained her securely, leaving her struggling and cursing with her other webbed up gang members, before putting the duffle-bag safely out of reach. Peter checked his watch under his suit.
Took them all down in five minutes flat. Awesome.
"C'mon guys," He droned mockingly. "That was too easy."
At that moment Hit-Monkey and Domino came darting down the hall, calling for Spiderman's attention.
"Hey, hero!" Domino barked. "Can you stop talking long enough to focus?"
"Did you find them?" The Spider asked, ignoring the comment. The two nodded. "Good, Domino go find the bomb, me and Hit Monkey will get the hostages out safely."
"Gotcha, kid," Domino replied before disappearing down the hall. Peter turned to Hit-Monkey, giving him the go-ahead to lead the way. He was lead right in front of a locked door. Hit-Monkey reaches for a lock picker from inside his suit. Peter signaled him to stop.
"No need. I got this." He said, before forcefully kicking the door down. Inside, a group of scared people huddled up in a corner.
"It's okay guys, we're here to help. What I'm gonna do is-" The webbed hero was only greeted back with blank stares. "And you have no idea what I'm saying, do you? It's fine, just let us take care of it."
One by one, Peter helped lower down each hostage from a window three stories up. Once down, each person disappeared into the crowd to their families' arms.
a window three stories up. Once down, each person disappeared into the crowd to their families' arms.
"Gracias, Spiderman!" A little boy called as he was being rushed away by his mother. He gave a wave back.
"Hey hero, we could really use your help down here!"
Peter rushed to the main entrance where the others were handling the rest of the gang. He soon found found himself back to back with no other then the Merc himself. Deadpool shielded Peter while the web-slinger got a good shot in.
"Bet this is more fun than some stuffy tea party, huh?" Deadpool hooted over the gunshots. Peter, kicking a gang member across the room, laughed in reply.
"Defiantly!" He admitted.
Deadpool swung around the wall-crawler and took down a couple of guys, swiftly followed by the wall-crawler webbing them up with just one shot. Peter hated to admit it, but he and Deadpool made a good team. Scratch that, they make a great team. A funny feeling came over him when he thought about it, but not in a bad way, which worried Peter even more.
Peter's thoughts were drawn back into the fight when Deadpool swivelled around him to block the young hero from getting hit by an oncoming bullet. He raised his gun and shot the gunman square in the chest. A wave of anxiety hit Peter as the gunman fell back.
"You swapped to the rubber pellets, right?" He asked wearily.
"I'm pretty sure I did," Deadpool replied unsurely.
"Deadpool, I swear to-"
"I did, I did! Hear the groaning? Everyone's fine!"
Before the webbed hero could reply, Domino came darting in carrying something under her arms.
"I got it!" She called to her teammates, holding up the inactivated time bomb.
"Great!" Deadpool called back, then turned to address his team, "let's wrap this thing up and get outta-"
Before Deadpool could finish his sentence, one of the gunmen forcefully tackled Domino to the ground, sending the bomb flying. Hit Monkey was the first to react, catching it in mid-air before safely hit the ground.
Peter let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding. The whole team gave a sigh of relief, only to be horror-stricken once more when a ticking noise met their ears. Hit Monkey moved to his thumb, realizing he must have hit one on the buttons in the catch.
5 minutes on the clock.
All the conscious gunmen hit the ground in panic, screaming things Peter couldn't really understand. The team rushed into action, panic overcoming them.
"Wait, wait!" Deadpool intervened. "Let me try something."
Deadpool carelessly grabbed the bomb and examined it, before pressing all the buttons seemingly randomly.
"What are you doing!?" Peter yelled in panic, his hands flying up to his head.
The bomb gave a beep. The time was halved.
Two minutes fifty seconds.
"Hand it over," Domino ordered. She was passed on the briefcase-shaped bomb and opened it up quickly examine.
"It's shabbily made." She announced to the group huddling around her.
"That makes it easier to defuse, right?" Peter asked hopefully, shadowing over her shoulder.
"No. It makes it more unstable." Domino replied grimly, taking another look at the box. "One wrong move can set it off, but I think I can-"
"Just do anything!" Machine Man interrupted. Domino tinkered with the wires skilfully, hands quickly moving around the bottoms and codes.
15 seconds
"There's a password," Domino called out, looking up at her teammates. "If we get it will be fine."
"And if we don't?" Gorilla man asked.
"Then we're dead." Negasonic snapped, sending him a forceful glare.
"Shh guys! I'm thinking." Domino barked, holding her temple in thought.
"Well if you could think a little faster," Deadpool retorted at the back of the group.
"Cállate idiotas y deja que trabaje!" Massacre snapped.
10 seconds.
The bomb started beeping furiously, it's light flashing bright red.
"I could try something.." Domino started surly "But I don't-"
"Do it! [hazlo!]" the group exclaimed in panic.
5 seconds.
Domio's hands darted around the coding. A bead of sweat running down her forehead.
3 seconds.
Peter's core clenched tight, waiting for impact.
2 seconds.
A hand grabbed onto Peter's wrist.
1 second.
"Get down!"
The whole team fell to the floor, arms over heads to protect themselves from the oncoming blast. Peter was pulled down to the ground, someone crouched over him in protection. They held in this position for a second, two seconds, three. Nothing happened.
Peter let out a long sigh in relief, his tight muscles loosening significantly. The figure on top of him relaxed as well, their body resting against Peters back, before finally rolling off. The young hero looked up to find Deadpool lying next to him, his hand holding his chest as he exhaled in relief.
"You did it!" Gorilla man exclaimed happily, pushing himself of the ground.
"Thata girl!" Deadpool bellowed, patting Domino roughly on the back. The team all peeled themselves off the floor to gather round the girl who just saved their lives.
"Chica brillante, nos has salvado!"
"We owe you big time, Domino!"
"Ooohh eeee!"
"How'd you get the password anyway?" Spiderman asked.
"I guessed," Domino replied with a lopsided grin.
"You guessed?" Peter repeated in disbelief "You put our lives on the line for a guess?"
"Domino's kinda like the team's lucky charm," Deadpool explained, affectionately tossing his arm around her shoulder. "Kinda like our own personal rabbit's foot."
"I'm honored," Domino replied sarcastically, pushing Deadpool's arm away.
"So what was it?" Negasonic asked. "What was the password."
A smile played on Domino's lips as she answered.
"I, 2, 3, 4, 6."
The team paused for a second, before bellowing in a chorus of laughter.
After a long day for fighting bad guys and almost dying, the team took advantage of their location and found the closest cheap taco hut in the area. The superhero group squeezed into a booth and chowed down on their spicy food while swapping stories and exchanging banter.
Everyone was in a pretty cheery mood by the time they were dropped off home. The dead-jet landed on the outskirts of New York and everyone said their goodbye there. Spiderman and Deadpool walked back into the city together.
"Gosling all the way!" Deadpool stated proudly as they walked through the back streets of New York.
"No way!" Spiderman argued back, disbelief in his tone. "How can you say that? Reynolds gets my vote!"
"Bullshit! Have you even seen him in The Note Book? I cried like a fucking baby!" Deadpool pressed on. "and La la land! You can't forget about La la land!"
"Not my favourite." Spidey shrugged, laughing at the Mercs eccentric nature. Deadpool threw his hands over her head.
"What! Have you no soul!?" He cried dramatically, making the web-slinger laugh even harder. It took the two men a few minutes to compose themselves, clutching their knees as they did so. Wade didn't know were this friendly nature that Spiderman adopted with him came from, maybe somewhere in between the ass-kicking and the gassy trip home. Well where ever it was, he wasn't complaining.
(yellow): It definitely wasn't from the trip home. Man, that was nasty!
(white): I told you, you shouldn't have had that extra burrito.
(Yellow): You're so gonna regret that later.
"Okay, okay," Wade wheezed, trying to regain his breath. "Seriously though, Gosling won a Golden Globe, Reynolds got swat."
"Yeah," Spiderman replied, clutching his side. "But Reynolds got to make out with Andrew Garfield that night, so I think he's the real winner here."
Wade stopped to think for a moment.
"Fair point." He admitted with a nod. "You win this round, Spiderman!"
The web-slinger let out a chuckle before the two slipped into silence, a rare luxury for the both of them. There was a certain scene of vulnerability in the air as the two shuffled alongside the street, the setting sun giving off a warm glowing tone.
(White): Ah silence at last.
"Well, I think it's about time I get home," Wade announced, finally growing uncomfortable with the lack of words. "This shit is getting way too meta for me."
"Yeah me too," Spidey said, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. "Ahh...my girlfriend is going to kill me."
"Do you want to crash at my place till she cools off?" Wade offered, trying to sound as casual as possible.
"Nah, it fine," Spiderman replied, beginning to walk the other direction. "Easier just to deal with it now."
"Yeah well, good luck with that." Wade waved off, mentally kicking himself for his awkwardness.
"Bye," Spiderman affirmed, turning to walk away.
(Yellow); What the fuck was that, Casanova!?
(White): Could you have been any more pathetic?
(Yellow); We didn't bring you this way!
(White): You blew it!
(Yellow): Like we need even more reasons to hate you.
"Ah, shut up." Deadpool murmured, adjusting the straps of his ammunition bag. He grumpy kicked the dirt under his feet before turning home. At that moment Spiderman turned back.
"Hey," He greeted a little breathlessly.
Wade spun around like a rocket, a bust of hope overcoming him.
"I just wanted to say," Spiderman continued slowly, as though he was trying to pick out the right words, "I had a great time man, so...uh… thanks."
A wide smile stretched across Wade's face, making his blistered skin crack and sting a little. A strange warm feeling overcame him, his chest filling up with….something. It was a foreign feeling he couldn't quite place.
(Yellow): Maybe it's the burritos?
Happiness.
What he was feeling was happiness.
"Anytime man," Wade replied through his mask covered grin. "We should do it again sometimes."
"Yeah, we should." Spidey agreed. They started drifting away from each other, in preparation for their final goodbye. "Give me a call if you ever want to team up."
"It's a date!" Wade called after the wall-crawler now walking away.
"In your dreams, Deadpool."
"Friends then?"
"Not yet!" Spidey called back in good nature, shaking his head humorously. "By the way, nice bag."
Wade looks down at his Hello kitty backpack, one that he's very fond of.
"Thanks!" Wade answered with a wave.
Spiderman gave him a final wave before dispersing behind the corner for good this time. As soon as he was gone Wade pumped up his fist triumphally.
"Yes!" He chanted victoriously.
(Yellow): You're in.
(White): Probably not.
(Yellow): Are you kidding me!? We're totally cracking him.
(White): the only crack I see is the one poking out you're back trousers. Pull up your pants man, ain't nobody want to see that shit!
"You know, you have a point, yellow subtitle box." Wade pondered as he tugged his pants up. "We may not be friends, yet. Maybe not yet."
Wade's went home feeling better then he's been for a while. He whistled the tune of ' "Bootylicious" all through the downtown backstreets. One stop to a 24-hour fast-food joint, and a few coins to the local homeless man camping in the alleyway across his apartment and he was home, ready to spend the rest of the night watching Gilmore girls and have some intimate time with his unicorn. Things were looking good.
Over in Queens, however, the young Peter Parker was not having such a pleasant evening. Upon arriving home he was greeted with passive aggressive comments, which soon escalated into a lot yelling and shouting. A few harsh words and slammed doors later, Peter found himself lying on his particularly lumpy couch, knowing he wasn't going to get much sleep that night.
*RING *
*RING *
*RING*
Wade grunted, turning towards his phone, which laid on the bedside table. He waited, hoping it would stop. When it continued to ring, Wade let out a loud groan before swiping the phone off the surface and accepting the call.
"Hello?" He answered gruffly.
The caller's voice came through the phone. Wade gave a deep sigh as he rolled his eyes.
"Yeah, I got it," Wade grumbled, looking back at his now abandoned unicorn plushy. "Can we hurry this up, I was kinda in the middle of something."
The caller began their explanation. Wade mocked silently as they droned on.
"Yeah, he's cute," Wade said sarcastically as he took out his laptop, opening up the documents that were sent that morning. The computer loaded up the email and information of a new possible mark appeared on the screen. The caller continued to speak.
"Yeah, I know what you want.". He grunted, quickly scanning through the document. "But I don't think this is my kind of thing. I mean; straight A student, about to finish his masters in Materials Science and Engineering, a face that would put Justin Bieber to shame, basically the child my mother wished she had."
The caller spoke once more.
"Yeah, two mysterious deaths that were never really solved. I don't think that calls fo-" Wade was cut off, he listened intently with his brows frowned.
"
I know I don't have to kill him but-" Wade tried to argue back, but the caller continued. Wade listened intently, frowning deeply as they talked.
"How much again?" He enquired.
The caller spoke.
"Okay," Wade answered, even though he still wasn't happy about the situation.
"Okay, yeah. Yeah, I got it."
Wade hung up. He looked down at his phone for a moment, before sitting himself back on the bed. He looked at his unicorn plush again before tossing it aside.
"Sorry precious, not tonight." He sighed. He turned back to his computer, ready to get to work.
"Alright..." He said reading the name off the screen. "Peter Parker, you better watch out."