For Your Happiness
Chapter 8
"Chibi-Usa, slow down, the park isn't going anywhere!" Usagi yelled at the pink-haired girl currently racing down the sidewalk several feet ahead of her.
Amazingly, the girl stopped and waited for Usagi to catch up, a stubborn pout on her face, "I know that! I just wanted to get there as fast as possible… you never let me go anywhere fun with you..."
Usagi sighed and squatted down to Chibi-Usa's eye level, "I'm sorry for yelling at you but you could get seriously hurt running around like that. After all, how many times have I fallen on my face by running too fast to get somewhere?"
"You have a point." The younger girl responded with a laugh. Smiling, she latched on to Usagi's hand and the pair continued on their way to the park.
As much as the Usagi and Chibi-Usa fought, Usagi couldn't help but wish she really would one day be the little-girl's mother. After all, Ikuko was always screaming at Usagi for failed test scores and waking up late, but she knew that those moments existed out of love and concern rather than true anger. Chibi-Usa had been a spoiled, self-centered brat when she'd arrived in the past the first time. She hadn't asked for help saving her mother, she'd demanded it. After spending time with Usagi and the other Senshi, the young girl had begun to act differently… taking other people's feelings into consideration and asking for help when she needed it. This made Usagi wonder how the girl had been raised by Neo Queen Serenity and King Endymion.
Then came the Wicked Lady ordeal. What could Chibi-Usa's childhood have been like to have caused her to have so much doubt about her parent's love for her? At the time, Usagi had concluded, as had the other Senshi, that Chibi-Usa's memories had been twisted by Wise Man. But, after finding out the truth about her own fate, Usagi had remembered Princess Serenity's ultimate fault… she didn't understand how to relate to other people. In her memories of the Moon Kingdom, Usagi noted that Serenity didn't seem to have any friends other than her Senshi. The Moon Princess had been revered for the power she would one day inherit and was seen as sweet and innocent and in need of protection by everyone she came into contact with. She had been so sheltered that she had never learned to relate to anyone as a normal girl… she was always required to act like a princess. As a result, she could not teach her daughter how to make friends or be something other than the queen's daughter.
"Usagi, are you okay?" Chibi-Usa's voice held a note of concern.
The older girl shook her head slightly to clear her thoughts and looked up to realize that they were now in the park. Sighing, she tightened her grip on Chibi-Usa's hand and led the younger girl to a secluded bench under an oak overlooking the lake, "No, Chibi-Usa, I'm not okay."
"What's wrong? Did you and Mamo-chan break up again?"
Ignoring the latter question, Usagi looked out at the lake, "Do you remember what you said to me the other day when you were worried about Saori-san?" At the pink-haired girl's nod, she continued, "Well, you weren't wrong… I'm not at all like your mother because I'm not her."
"I didn't mean to say those things! Of course you're my mother!" The young girl's voice was frantic and it was clear she blamed herself for putting such ideas in Usagi's head.
Without hesitation, Usagi took the pink-haired future princess into her arms, "No, Chibi-Usa, I'm not. I realized this long before you said those things and it isn't your fault. When we went to Crystal Tokyo to save your mother, I didn't recognize her as being me because she isn't. Your mother is the future version of Princess Serenity whose spirit was reincarnated in me, but she and I are different people. One day, her spirit is going to take over and mine will no longer exist. That's why your father told you stories of Sailor Moon but you never actually saw her… Princess Serenity wasn't able to transform into Sailor Moon."
The two girls sat in silence for several minutes, Usagi holding Chibi-Usa tightly wondering how many more years she would have in the younger girl's life while Chibi-Usa, for her part, processed what she had just been told. All of a sudden, so many things that hadn't made sense when she'd brought Usagi and her friends to Crystal Tokyo began clicking into place. It hadn't occurred to her at the time, but when they first arrived at the Time Gate and encountered Sailor Pluto the time Senshi had commented that she'd always wanted to meet Sailor Moon. Chibi-Usa hadn't realized Usagi was the past version of her mother at the time so the comment hadn't meant anything then, but now, knowing how often Pluto and Neo-Queen Serenity spoke to one another, the comment seemed to cement Usagi's statement.
Another inconsistency is why she, Chibi-Usa, hadn't been able to become Sailor Moon or use the Ginzuisho until after she'd spent a significant amount of time with Usagi. It was then that Chibi-Usa remembered her mother's desperation to meet Sailor Moon as if she'd never gotten the chance before and never would again. The memory of that moment brought the truth home for the young girl. If Usagi was Neo-Queen Serenity then she could've remembered her past self anytime she wanted to, instead, she had wanted to meet her past-self face-to-face because Usagi would never exist in Crystal Tokyo.
Chibi-Usa could feel tears trickling through her closed eyelids even as she clung to Usagi tighter, "It's true, isn't it? I don't want you to disappear."
"I know you don't and, I don't want to disappear or leave you either, but I may not have a choice." Usagi's voice was gentle but also sounded unbearably sad.
Chibi-Usa pulled away and looked into the older girl's eyes. There was something else there, Usagi wasn't the type to just give in, and "Why are you telling me this now?"
"You know that Princess Serenity and Prince Endymion are destined to be your parents, right?" At Chibi-Usa's slow nod, Usagi continued, "That means that, in order for you to exist, Mamoru and I have to be together." Another nod. "I was born Princess Serenity's reincarnation, but I don't think the same is true for Mamoru… I think Mamoru became Prince Endymion's reincarnation by accident and that is why he acts differently toward me when he has Endymion's memories."
Chibi-Usa looked up at the older girl in confusion, "I don't understand."
"You know how much I love Mamoru, don't you?"
"Of course."
"Mamoru didn't choose this, he wasn't born for it, and he deserves to be with someone he loves, not with someone his past-self loved. I can separate them, Endymion and Mamoru, and allow them to live separate lives. However, Mamoru and I would never risk your existence. I've already taken the steps necessary to preserve your life no matter what and I've given Mamoru a choice. I'm telling you because, if Mamoru chooses to separate from Endymion, your memories of your parents and your future may change and you deserved to be told about it."
"But, what about you? Don't you deserve to be happy too?" Chibi-Usa's voice was small and quaking.
"If Mamoru's happy, so am I. Right now, there is too much doubt in our relationship and neither of us can be truly happy."
"What are you going to do, if Mamoru chooses to stay with you?"
"If Mamoru chooses me? I'll do what I've always done... I'll fight to stay with him."