Disclaimer: I don't own Gravity Falls!

Title: Double Dealings

Summary: (Teen!Delinquent AU) The gnomes and the Manotaurs are threatening battle in an effort to decide which species is better. Dipper and Mabel are prepared to profit off this.

...

AllHail21- Nope! This is just an storyline where Dipper and Mabel are teens. The Grunkles are off sailing the world at the moment, so they're crashing at Wendy's cabin. And not a war! It's kind of like an after school fist fight type deal.

william and jack and jake- Thank you!

Guest (August 8)- This really made my day! I didn't think this lil' ol' AU would ever match up with the multitude of other great GF AUs, especially one so prestigious as Monster Falls!

Mr. Haziq- Time to find out! =)

...

Mabel snuck one of Dipper's suits out from his closet to wear for the party, but eventually defaulted to a lime green sundress after spilling some food on the- well, on the everything, to be perfectly blunt. The only other suit, as it turned out, ended up being far too tight for proper party wear, so the teen ended up using his dress pants, a black t-shirt, and a red tie in hopes of even somewhat making up for it. The irony of it- of both of them being in formal wear, yet somehow still managing for both sets of tattoos to be sticking out, which is what you usually hope to cover up with formal wear- was not lost on them. Dipper added the finishing touches of her makeup, specifically the eyeliner, and they were off.

Wendy was reading a magazine when they started out the door, but she stopped long enough to tilt head back to look at them. "So, like, since I'm supposed to be all adult and stuff, should I go with? And be, I dunno, like a chaperone or something?"

"Nah, it's fine, Wendy," said Dipper, who was fiddling with his tie. "It's a work thing."

"That is the exact opposite of comforting."

Mabel made finger guns, clicking her tongue. She tended to do that a lot when she was trying to convince someone of something- Wendy, Lazy Susan, the mailman, etc. "I swear on my best knitting needles that we won't end up in jail tonight."

Wendy shrugged and went back to her magazine. "Good enough for me."

Dipper walked in front of Mabel the entire way, going backwards in order to give a quick final talking-through of the plan. "I don't normally say this non-sarcastically, but be polite. Don't press anybody for bets. This isn't our house, or our rules; we literally have no final say-so here. Mostly, though, we keep it from anybody who hangs with the Northwests. McGucket's been through a lot, and we don't want to give his enemies any more ammo than what they've already got."

"Relax, Dip of the Gnomes." Mabel reassuringly patted his shoulder. "We all love McGucket. Personally, I'd take a bullet for that eccentric hillbilly. I'm certainly not gonna ruin his chances of a peaceful last few years."

The McGucket Mansion had had no exterior changes done to it in the time the old man had owned it. The fence was still in effect, and the gate still had Northwest Manor chiseled into it. Even the bushes were still in their signature N and W shapes, though they had grown mighty scraggly over the years. The interior itself had also largely remained the same, though McGucket had removed all of the stuffed heads and animal rugs, stating that it 'offended the missus.'

Overall, however, the feeling of the old place had changed, and for the better. No one was barred entry to the mansion, so long as folks didn't vandalize the place, and that invitation even extended to the magical beings of Gravity Falls. Dipper was of the knowledge that Shmebulock had become one of its few permanent residents- he had apparently grown quite disillusioned with Jeff's way of ruling things- and when they entered the main building he could hear something rattling in the vent system which he assumed was the gnome in question. Dipper tucked his gnome amulet into his shirt in hopes that the old boy wouldn't notice.

"Eyyy, you see who I see?" Mabel faux-whispered as they entered the main dance area. She pressed their faces together so he would look the way she was. "America Guy. He'd eat this junk up."

"You bet he would!" Dipper pointed at his own quarry. "You get AG, I'll take on Sprott over there."

Sprott, as it turned out, was mighty interested in gambling, and made a decent wager on the Manotaurs winning. He quickly moved on to that dude with the cat tattoo on his hand- dude had a huge love of underdogs, put a small amount on the gnomes and decided not to get his hopes up. Mabel took on Bodacious T and Mayor Tyler, and while he was too far away to judge who bet what, she came back with a decent amount ready.

"This is getting us nowhere," she declared. "We gotta set up a booth or somethin', bro. Let the green come to us."

"We can't." Dipper shook his head. "We don't have McGucket's permission. Besides, that's probably ill-"

"Get my permission fer what?"

Dipper startled so hard he bumped into Mabel, who kept him from falling onto his face. As a teenager, McGucket now only went up to his hip, and it was hard to see him coming. "Jeez, dude. Give a guy a little warning sometime."

McGucket blinked, one eye at a time, with an uncomfortable squelching noise. "Get my permission fer what, Dipper?"

"Oh, jeez..." Dipper rubbed the back of his head in hopes of appealing to the older man's love of anime. "Okay, look. The Manotaurs and the gnomes are havin' a stupid fight, like, tomorrow. Super short notice. And we're hoping to make a buck off of it-"

"You do know who our Grunkle is, right?" Mabel added. "So it's really no shocker."

Dipper cleared his throat. "As such, we were kind of hoping we could... build a small table to collect bets... and maybe kinda-sorta play Gravity Falls like a fiddle for the cash?" He shrugged sheepishly. "I mean, it's not like any of this is exactly new. We're garbage people, the people of garbage."

"I got adopted by a bunch of Manotaurs!"

"That you did, Mabel."

McGucket stared at the duo a moment, gobsmacked. "You know..." he started slowly. "Back before I got my memories back, I actually ate a gnome 'er two."

"I did not know that, actually."

"Wasn't my proudest moment. Those little ragamuffin rapscallions would get into my hut and steal my banjo to get a rise outta me. Always worked, too." He shrugged. "That's all in the past now, but if there's one thing I've learned to treasure, what with my memories comin' back, is that grudges are real and I'm the best at 'em." McGucket pulled a wad of cash out of his overall pocket, which he promptly shoved into Dipper's chest. "I hope those little buggers get their beards pulled out. Comin' from a man who loves his beard, that's sayin' somethin'."

Dipper awkwardly held his hands out. The money fell onto them, coins streaming out onto the floor. "You sure, dude? We're grifters, not monsters."

"Dipper, if there's one thing I know fer sure, it's that I'm a man of my word," said McGucket firmly. "'Least, that's what I wanna be. Gimme a cut of the booty and we're right as rain."

The night dragged on. McGucket had secured them a simple fold-out table and money jars, one marked 'Gnomes' and the other marked 'Manotaurs.' The latter read more like 'Manota' from the front, on account of it dragging along the side. Dipper considered the whole thing a success.

"Hey, Dipper?" Mabel poked his shoulder incessantly, leaning her chair at an awkward and rather dangerous angle. "When we said 'no Northwests', what kinda relations were we going with?"

"Uh.. I dunno? Friends and family, I guess. Why?"

Mabel pointed. Dipper just barely caught a glimpse of a lakefoam green dress disappearing out of the room and onto the balcony. "Mabel, no."

She grinned at him deviously. "Mabel yes."

"We cannot get Pacifica involved. She's literally the daughter of the Northwests. Going by blood relations and legal documents, she is a Northwest."

The chair fell back with a plang! "I thought we both agreed she was more than that."

Dipper nodded, but otherwise didn't budge. "I'm not saying we shouldn't include her because she's a Northwest. I'm saying we shouldn't include her because she's living with the Northwests, and there's really nothing we can do about that right now. Getting her involved could get her into a lot of trouble."

"Fine," she groused, pushing back her seat to stand up. "But I'm still gonna go talk to her. Even if she doesn't know about the betting, she'll want to see the actual fight."

"You do that, Lady Mabes," Dipper half-mumbled, going back to counting cash. "You do that."

Mabel made her way through the crowd with ease, stopping to give Tad Strange a fist bump on the way. There weren't a lot of people here, considering it was a Monday night on a school day, and most of the people who lived in Gravity Falls were notoriously introverted.

Pacifica was alone on the balcony, though that wasn't a big shock. Even now, the girl tended to be avoided by the majority of the town. Mabel checked her breath and ruffled her hair, nodding to herself. She tip-toed out with the grace of an elephant, her flats flip-flopping on the stone. "Heeeey, Pazzy."

"Call me Pazzy again and I'll deck you," Pacifica answered, giving her a quick look over. "I didn't think this kind of thing suited you anymore."

"Well, I'm not twelve anymore, no." Mabel perched her butt on the stone railing, ignoring the butterflies in her belly over how high up she was. "But I still like glitter and rhinestones, so I guess these four years haven't changed me much."

"Oh, I dunno about that." Pacifica twirled a lock of blonde hair around her pointer finger thoughtfully. "I've been hearing the rumors about the two of you, you know. They're not very pretty."

"What kind of rumors?"

"The kind of rumors that could ruin a rep. Duh."

"Oh." Mabel shrugged. "They're probably true, then. By the way, you have got to let me braid your hair sometime. It's gorgeous."

Pacifica let go of the lock she was holding. "I've been meaning to ask- why'd you hack your's off, anyway? You seemed to really like your hair."

She nodded, patting the fluffy ends, which were curly. "Long hair is gorgeous- my long hair especially- but it's just not a smart move when most of your life has you running through crowded terrain. Alas, I must get my hair fix through the people around me, from your mane to Dipper's flat and kind of greasy mullet."

"Dipper really needs to cut that thing."

"No kiddin'."

"But the braid he keeps it in is pretty nice. Is that your doing?"

"Eeyup. He does my makeup; I do his hair. Also his nails. He really rocks dark blue nails."

"I always sucked at nails, honestly. I don't know why." Pacifica closed an eye as if to properly aim her pointer finger as she pointed it at Mabel's throat. "Not that it's my business or anything, but I'm pretty sure that's the aro flag."

"I'm shocked so many people recognize it. It's not as popular as the ace one."

"Does that bother you? That people know what it is, or whatever."

Mabel shook her head, tracing one of the lines. "It took me a long time to accept this, y'know? My folks are the 'in it for the kids' type, so I just assumed you had to force love. Kept lookin' for that right person to force the do with, but I realized it just didn't fit me."

"Thank God for Rumblr, eh?"

"Hell yeah," she agreed. "It would've taken me a hella long time to find a proper title otherwise. Seriously, I've never heard aromantic any-fricking-where else."

"Pride parades," Pacifica offered.

"Never been to one."

"You should go sometime."

"I really should."

Pacifica lightly bumped her shoulder. "So, you gonna tell me what the scam is this time?"

Mabel sent her a mock-offended look. "Can't I ever just come to a party to get drunk and dance?"

"I can see the table from here."

"I mean, I don't have a proper response to that, so I'mma pretend those words were never uttered." Mabel lightly grabbed her wrist. "Dance?"

The blonde woman eyed her hand. "Only if you tell me what's up."

"We're scamming Gravity Falls," she hummed. "Also, there's fighting involved."

Pacifica's face softened. "Oh, that. Just a regular weekday for you dweebs, then, huh?"

"Pretty much."

Author's Note: Next chapter is the time for action! It's also the ending. =)

-Mandaree1