Author's notes: Okay, I'm just going to just say, "this is one the stupidest mistakes I have ever done on " I did a major spoiler just then, so for that gomen :S. But anyways, I don't want to make this whole thing depressing for me so yeah. I was absolutely blown out of my pants when I reached nine previews in Chapter Twenty, and it's all thanks to you guys who are reading my story and reviewing, I thank you all. So here we have it, Chapter Twentytwo: Relived And Revealed, yes it's the same chapter that I accidentally submitted as being chapter twentyone. The title of this chapter basically says it all. Love you lots, enjoy .
CHAPTER TWENTYTWO: RELIVED AND REVEALED
The two remained silent for the remainder of the day and Sakura was getting annoyed with herself. She trusted Kakashi with her life; more than anyone she ever knew in her life.
'Ive known Kakashi too long not to tell him anything, but nows not the right time,' Sakura felt the uncertainty sink in, but she was feeling more confident in telling him.
The rain had yet to stop and the two Jounins with their foxes were getting tired. The day was nearing its end and Sakura and Kakashi needed a place to shelter for the night and get out of the rain.
Kuro and Kitsune were already drenched and Sakura was barely able to stand the pressure of her secret. And why now? Why was her body reacting to her regrets now? Maybe something in her was finally giving up, causing her to want to tell the world what she did.
"Look!" Kakashi shouted in hope and pointed ahead.
What Sakura didn't quite notice was how long she and her former sensei had been travelling for and she hadn't noticed the large shed ahead on the road. The two sighed blissfully in relief as they made their way as quick as they could.
"Finally, a place to shelter from the rain," Kakashi announced, jogging to the building.
Sakura ran after the other Jounin until they were both running side-by-side towards the shed. They entered the quiet shed, checking their surroundings in case someone was in there and both sighed in unison.
The shed had plenty of space; there were hay bails lying around where Kitsune and Kuro were playing and the place smelt musty, but it had to do for now. Sakura placed her backpack on the ground and pulled out her sleeping bag to only find it wet and soggy. Quickly, she laid it out on the ground, making sure that the straws of hay had been cleared beneath her stuff before doing so and sighed.
Kakashi swept the hay straws away and found a small pile of chopped wood, "I sure hope whoever owns this place won't mind us staying here for the night," Sakura wondered, leaning against the itchy hay bail with a huff.
"And I'm sure whoever owns this place won't mind us using their firewood," Kakashi added casually as he carried the wood to the small clearing of the shed.
Soon, Kakashi had lit the fire and hung up their wet clothes, including their sleeping bags. Kuro and Kitsune lay sleepily together in front of the fire, warming up as they cleaned themselves. Sakura, who was now in dry clothes, sat in front of the fire, pondering deeply over her secret.
Kakashi was busy cleaning out his bag and preparing food for the two and the foxes. He often glanced at the pink haired medic, wondering what she was so worried about, 'wonder whats gotten Sakura all worked up?' he thought, doing the things he needed to do.
After eating and their sleeping bags had gotten dry enough to be slept in, Sakura and Kakashi had settled down and stared aimlessly at the orange flames. There was often the lightning strike and thunder, startling both Kuro and Kitsune, and Sakura would look out at the weather and hope it would clear in the next day.
Not long after, it was probably about 11 p.m. when Sakura had finally decided to get some sleep; at least that's all she could do right now, sleep.
"It's your fault he died…it's your fault his dreams were shattered…and it's your fault for all the pain caused to the village…"
Sakura stared into the boy's dark eyes, trying to fight back against what he was saying to her, "no, it's not," she protested and tried to punch the raven haired boy to only find herself punching nothing but the air.
Sasuke reappeared behind her with a serious glare and grabbed the back of her neck, "it is Sakura…you did it, you destroyed his dreams and you will live the rest of your life in agony and defeat…" he paused, slowly squeezing his grip on the medic's neck to only receive an elbow in his gut.
"NOOO!"
Sakura shot upright, breathing quickly and shaking from her dream. Again. These dreams were torture for the poor Kunoichi and she couldn't handle the pain much longer.
Crying already, Sakura just let her emotions take over and allowed herself to fall apart just like that. She knew she was stronger than that, but her emotions were her weakness; if anything, Sakura would cry over the slightest of things. But she was a Kunoichi, a female ninja; there should be a law about female ninjas that they should be allowed to have emotions. After all, women bare more emotions than men, but that was no excuse to Sakura.
She pounded her fists to the ground frustratingly and continued to cry, "I can't stand it anymore," she murmured to herself before receiving a slurred reply.
"Stand what?" said the low and tired voice next to her.
Sakura looked to her right to find Kakashi looking over at her with worry in his lone visible eye. At first she didn't know what to say, but then she realised what she had done, "I'm sorry Kakashi, I didn't mean to wake you," she uttered softly before the thunder and lightning got the better of her.
Kakashi shook his head, "it's okay, couldn't really sleep much myself; the storm was a bit loud," he grinned tiredly before frowning at the sight of Sakura's sadness.
"Is there something you want to talk to me about?" he asked, no signs of sentiment other than concern.
How could Kakashi know this so quickly? Was Sakura that obvious? Sakura felt her memories coming back already. No. She didn't want to hurt Kakashi too. She shook her head to rid the thoughts from her head and made eye contact with the silver haired Jounin.
She felt her tears well up in her eyes as she finally said, "did…Tsunade-shisou ever tell you the cause of Naruto's death…?" she paused; she felt her throat wanting to close up to prevent her from talking and make her forget about everything.
Kakashi's eye widened slightly, "yeah…he was cursed with a type of jutsu and killed himself…why?" things were starting to sound unclear for the silver haired Jounin when Sakura asked him that.
Sakura closed her eyes and bit her lower lip, "because he didn't kill himself…" she trailed off, not really trusting herself anymore about what she was going to say.
Silence.
Sakura looked at Kakashi, feeling her words stutter, "it was my fault he died…" she uttered. Kakashi couldn't believe this could he?
"No, Tsunade-sama said Naruto killed himself because of the curse," Kakashi didn't want to believe it.
Sakura shook her head and that's when she burst into tears again, "you don't understand Kakashi…" she took a small breath and continued as she stared sobbing at her feet, "I killed him!" there, she said it.
Kakashi felt something twang inside and his heart plummet to his feet, "what? No!" he shuffled his way to Sakura and welcomed her in a hug, "you couldn't have killed Naruto; you were on the ground when I-" Sakura pulled away from Kakashi's arms, "it was an accident," right after Sakura had said those words, Kakashi stopped in his movements.
"An accident?" he asked, looking very worried where this was going.
Sakura nodded with her eyes closed and took a deep and calming breath, "when I was on a mission with Naruto, Sai and Yamato-sensei three years ago, we were separated in an ambush. Fortunately for me I found Naruto from the trees, but when I found him he was with Sasuke," she finally said.
Kakashi didn't say anything; he just sat there and listened. The thunder struck again as Sakura continued.
"I didn't want to interfere, knowing Naruto wanted this fight, so I watched from the trees. Naruto and Sasuke didn't move, they just stared at one another until Naruto finally spoke to him, asking him questions. Sasuke ignored the questions and said something about not wanting to fight him, that he had other business to attend to…"
Sakura paused, gulping nervously and said, "I saw him create handsigns and purple chakra was produced when he said something about seeing him soon. He appeared right in front of Naruto and placed his palm on his stomach and he announced the jutsu and Naruto flew back from the force," frowning deeply, Sakura took another deep breath to calm herself down and collected her memories.
"Naruto got up and stared at Sasuke as he walked off. Before Sasuke disappeared, he looked in my direction with the same cold glare he gave Naruto. I knew he had spotted me and after he was gone, I raced down and found Naruto staring at where Sasuke stood. I asked if he was okay right before he collapsed to the ground in pain, screaming while holding his stomach. When I touched him, he told me to back off and I noticed he had those same red eyes when he was angry," Kakashi could tell in the tone of Sakura's voice that she was about to start crying again, "I couldn't do anything to help Naruto except for waiting for Yamato and Sai to show up and return to the village,"
Sakura frowned deeply and there was a dreadful silence between them. Sakura had gone this far; she had to keep going, "when we returned to the village, Tsunade-shisou analysed Naruto's problem and said it was a dangerous jutsu Orochimaru had used once against her with her summoned slugs; she said it caused any animal to lose control. In this case, the Kyuubi that was contained inside Naruto was slowly taking over Naruto's body and he would get enraged easier than usual," another pause.
"Unfortunately, Tsunade-shisou didn't know how to reverse it and warned me to be very careful around Naruto. After Naruto was examined, everything went fine from there; Naruto was still his normal childish and foolish self and we lived normally. We trained together like you had advised once we became Jounins, but whenever things got out of hand, Naruto would get angry at the most random moments and sprout a tail or two, but it would suddenly die down after a few minutes. I knew I had to be careful around him, but I knew Naruto would soon be taken over by the Kyuubi spirit,"
Kakashi was now confused, "but that doesn't explain how you were involved in Naruto's death," he said in his worried tone.
Sakura ignored his statement and sighed as she wiped the tears from her face, "a month after Sasuke's appearance, we were supposed to meet up at the training fields to train, but he didn't show up. I knew the day before he nearly went three-tails and destroyed many sections of the fields and nearly went for me, but given that he didn't show up that day, I got worried and went to his apartment," she paused. Kakashi felt this part of Sakura's story was reaching the critical point and felt he would hate it as much as she would.
"When I reached his apartment I knocked on his front door. Upon receiving no answer but hearing voices inside, I went inside with a kunai in hand just in case. I found Naruto in his bedroom, sitting on his bed and looking out the window, away from me. When I called his name, he faced me with his cold red eyes and he was breathing heavily. I knew something was definitely wrong with him. He stood up and I noticed he was staring at me with a hungry glare as if I was an enemy to him," Sakura felt her voice stutter whenever she tried to speak at this point and tears were already making their way down the medic's cheeks.
"Suddenly Naruto attacked me. He said my name but it didn't sound like him," Sakura closed her eyes tight and felt a hand on her shoulder, "I dodged his sharp claws and he slammed the door shut so I wouldn't escape. When I saw the window, Naruto lunged at me again and screamed in pain. He managed to cut me on my arm, but I wasn't worried about that; I was worried more about Naruto's safety. I was thrown onto the bed when Naruto hit me and attempted to attack me one last time. I felt time slow down when he was up in the air; I had my kunai tight in my hand and I reacted so naturally. It was as if my ninja instincts took over from there on,"
'No' Kakashi thought. This couldn't be it.
"When he landed on me he didn't move. I looked into his eyes and they weren't full of anger or hate, but fear and regret. He backed away from me and when I took a look at what happened…" Sakura burst into tears and leaned against Kakashi, making him flinch in shock.
"…the kunai I was holding was sticking out of Naruto's chest. I never meant to hurt Naruto…it was an accident…" sobbing carelessly, Sakura tightened her grip on Kakashi's undershirt.
Kakashi was devastated at what Sakura was telling him; it just couldn't be true, "I saw his eyes change back to normal and his stance was him again, but I knew it was over…for good," she uttered, closing her eyes in the man's arms.
"He had blood running down from his mouth and tears down the sides of his face…he knew what he had done he could not control and he knew I didn't mean it…he said he was sorry and dropped to his knees…" Sakura cried again, not caring about what she was doing anymore.
Kakashi stared at her in sympathy as she spoke, "he said my name in pain as he lost his last breath and lay there motionless on the floor with a pool of blood around him…I couldn't do anything anymore…I lay there frozen on the floor and stared at him until you arrived…" she trailed off, knowing that was the end of her story.
Kakashi understood now, "oh Sakura, I'm so sorry," he said as he embraced the crying medic in his arms, who had no objections to cry in his arms. Sakura continued to cry in Kakashi's arms, her face buried in his shirt and her hands clutched at his arms.
Almost screaming as she cried, Sakura felt Kakashi's hand on the back of her head, stroking it gently as she sat there, "why didn't you tell me sooner?" he whispered softly before feeling Sakura's grip on his shirt tighten.
"I'm sorry Kakashi, I'm so sorry…I wanted to tell you, but I couldn't…I just couldn't…" her shoulders shook up and down from crying and she was getting tired of everything. Right now she wanted her life to end right on the spot.
"It was my fault Naruto died. I crushed Naruto's dreams to becoming a great ninja and Hokage. I-"
"Sakura, it wasn't your fault, we all knew what would happen to Naruto, even he knew that. You didn't mean to do it, you know it was an accident and you have to admit that he's gone," Kakashi interrupted, not wanting to hear Sakura curse herself with false words.
Kakashi sighed deeply as he went over on what had just happened between him and Sakura and what she told him. He couldn't believe that she had probably gone through more than he had as a child. But Sakura was no longer a child, she was an adult now. But that was beside the point. Either way, Sakura was having a hard time coping with all the pain and Kakashi had to do something about it.
Sakura didn't know what to do anymore, all she could do was cry it off until her tears had run dry and she would get used to the pain until she would die. Suddenly Sakura felt a soft pair of masked lips press on her forehead. Confused, Sakura looked up to find Kakashi staring at her seriously before he smirked at her. Sakura didn't understand what that was, but whatever it was he was showing her, the medic seemed to trust it and calmed down, resting her head on his chest.
"Memories last, but pain fades…" Kakashi whispered softly.
Sakura said nothing, but wasn't so sure what he meant. She felt his hands trail down her back and back up again, "when I lost my best friend and comrade, my sensei told me those words; something that would help me forget the pain," he trailed off, looking out at the rain and dark and cloudy night sky.
"I will always remember what happened to Obito, but the pain I went through would wither away over time and I got over it. I learned to handle a loss like this, even though it hurts," he explained, hoping Sakura would understand.
Sakura sighed as she stared aimlessly at Kakashi's toned arm and listened to his steady heartbeat. She felt Kakashi's hand on the back of her head again, "so why can't you let the pain fade and let it go," he continued calmly. Reluctantly she pulled away from Kakashi and smiled softly at him.
Now Sakura understood what those words meant and had only wished Kakashi had told her that sooner. She rubbed the back of her head tiredly and yawned loudly while rubbing her eyes, "thank you…for telling me that," she said with a small smile on her tired face.
Kakashi only grinned wider, "and for having faith in me" Sakura added, her lips tugging at a wider smile. Kakashi leaned back on his hands, "don't worry about it; even though you are my former student, it doesn't mean I can't still teach you things," Sakura only giggled.
The silver haired Jounin took a glance out the door and sighed, "we should get back to sleep if we want to reach the next village in time," he suggested, making Sakura ponder with a raised eyebrow.
Ignoring it for the time being, Sakura lay back down, watching Kakashi shuffle his way back to where he was sleeping, "goodnight Sakura-chan," he called as he let himself drop with a huff.
"G'night Kakashi," Sakura replied tiresomely, 'thank you again Kakashi,' she closed her eyes and let sleep consume her conscious mind.
Sakura woke up from the sound of two specific foxes playing right next to her. She moaned sleepily before realising something quite obvious to her. She was blessed with a nightmare-less sleep; for the first time in so long, Sakura had actually dreamed properly without waking up crying or screaming at the top of her lungs.
Sitting up, she heard it still hadn't stopped raining, although it wasn't as bad as the day before. She looked around, checking her surroundings carefully and looking for Kakashi, who seemed to be missing for some reason.
Not minding the fact that Kakashi was nowhere to be find at this time, Sakura prepared herself for the day ahead, thinking back to last night where Kakashi had said those specific words.
She shook her head. At her own pace, Sakura started to roll up her sleeping bag and packing things up into her backpack, "good morning," announced a rather cheerful Jounin as he walked into the area where Sakura was. Sakura looked over her shoulder to find Kakashi smiling happily at her, "morning," she said simply, smiling back at the man.
"You feeling okay now?" he asked, kneeling down beside the medic.
"Yeah, much better now that I got all that lifted off my shoulders," she replied with a smile playing on her lips.
Kakashi grinned back, "that's good, now we can get on with the mission without any more distractions," he stood up and walked off to pack his bag. Sakura watched him momentarily before turning her focus on Kuro and Kitsune, who were happily play fighting with each other and rolling around.
"Here you go Kitsune," Sakura praised, holding out a handful of cat biscuits to feed to her brown fox companions.
Kuro trotted over curiously and decided to join in on the feeding. Sakura petted both foxes as they ate, having nothing to do but wait for the rain to calm down and Kakashi to get ready, 'late as always I guess,' she thought with a grin as she glanced over at the lazy mannered Jounin.
Before long, Kakashi was ready and coincidently the rain had calmed to a mere shower, "ready to go?" Kakashi asked, putting his bag on with Kuro leaping up on his shoulder.
"Yep," Sakura muttered as she held Kitsune in her arms.
Author's notes: YAAHAA! End of the saddest chapter I'll ever probably write for a looong time. I hope you guys liked this chapter, I gave it a little bit of fluff so yeah. I hope you liked this chapter, and for the kami-knows-how-many-times-now, I am sorry for spoiling it for you guys and I hope it won't happen again throughout the rest of the story. Anywho, I hope you liked this chapter (again :P) and I'll have the next chapter up asap . Now reviews please XD.
PS: I personally have to admit that I practically cried when I wrote up this chapter, and that song I was listening to didn't help much either; it was a really sad song so yeah. Just to be sure, seen the fact that I found this chapter so moving, I was just wondering if you fellas were. If so, be honest and let me know, if you cried like a pansy like I did, share the news :P