September 30th, 2012

We were nearly to Atlanta. The weather had continued to be as changeable as a cat's mood as we walked, sunny and warm one day, rainy and cold the next. We had even walked through snow flurries at one point.

Nothing could touch the pain and anger I felt inside though. I knew Hannah and Joe were worried, they weren't exactly subtle about their looks or comments. I tried to care…but the anger and pain were overwhelming.

I could smell the smoke from our campfire as I walked through the woods, hunting for berries, roots, and wild onions—anything to add to our supplies. I crouched down and pulled out a handful of wild onions from the ground, shoving them in my bag.

Rustling in the branches nearby made me still, the hairs on my neck standing up. I pulled my knife out of its holster and palmed it, listening intently. The branches rustled again and I grabbed the strap of my backpack, slipping it over my shoulder slowly.

Standing slowly, I began walking back towards camp, the knife still gripped in my hand, an uneasy feeling curling through my stomach.

When a large man stepped out of the brush and into the path in front of me, a sick feeling slipped through me. He grinned, a twisted, leering look, and sauntered forward until we were just feet apart.

"Well, how are you tonight missy?" he drawled, his eyes raking over my body.

I rolled my eyes and shook my head, "I was fine. You're in my way now though."

His smile slipped and he shook his head, "You should be more polite, I'm just trying to talk to ya."

I frowned, "I don't want to talk to you. Now get out of my way." I glared at him, anger ripping through my veins.

The man's expression turned ugly and I heard a rustling noise behind me. Glancing over my shoulder I saw another man step from the trees, holding a gun. I turned back to the man in front of me and lifted my empty hand, "Just let me go. You don't want trouble."

The man laughed, "Oh honey, I like trouble." He stepped forward and I heard the man behind me move. My instincts kicked in and I lashed out and the man before me, swinging a fist towards his face.

By some miracle my fist connected with his jaw, sending him reeling back a few surprised steps. I took the opportunity to run. My feet flew over the grass, carrying me through the woods. I could hear the men shouting behind me, incensed vitriol echoing through the woods.

Their footsteps grew louder behind me and I sped up, desperate to get back to camp….Where Hannah and Joe are.

My feet faltered.

I couldn't lead them back to camp and have my friends get hurt. I swerved and headed west, away from camp. My backpack bounced against my back, my fingers still clenched tightly around the knife.

The world shifted on its axis as I went flying through the air. The ground slammed into me…or I slammed into it, I couldn't tell. Everything hurt and it felt like there was a mountain of weight on me…

The weight shifted and I felt hot breath on my neck. "Not so fast bitch."

I struggled, hard. My elbow connected with the man's sternum and I brought my knee up into his groin, struggling to crawl away as he groaned and curled up. Panic made me jerky, spastic. I scrambled to rise, my breathing rapid, barely aware of the panicked noises I was making.

A hand clamped around my ankle, yanking me back down to the ground. I screamed, loud and long until one of the men stood over me and put his boot on my throat. It was the man I had kneed.

The other man crouched over me, grinning. He ripped the backpack from my shoulder and tossed it to his partner. "Thank you for your generosity darlin."

He ran his fingers down my throat and unzipped my jacket, fondling my breasts. I struggled against him, trying to kick and free myself. He backhanded me hard and I gasped, tasting blood.

"Now darlin, why don't you try to be a little more friendly?" he demanded.

The pumping of a shotgun is a distinctive sound, and at that moment, it was perhaps the most beautiful sound I had ever heard in my life.

"She isn't your friend, and neither am I. Now back the fuck up before I kill you."

I tilted my chin and watched as Joe stared the men down. They both lifted their hands, cautious looks crossing their faces.

"Get up Becca" Joe ordered.

I shoved the man's boot at my throat away and stood slowly, my head spinning from being pounded into the ground and oxygen deprivation. I stumbled to Joe's side and stood there, eyeing my knife in the grass by one of the men's boots.

"Go back to camp" he murmured.

"Hell no" I snapped. There was no way I was leaving him by himself.

He growled softly but shook his head, turning his attention back to the men.

"Now, I want her pack back. Toss it over here, and leave." Joe's voice was firm as he gave the men orders.

One of the men smirked, "I think we'll keep the pack and let you keep her, she seems like more trouble than she's worth."

Joe shook his head, "I don't think so. You're going to toss that pack here, and leave, or I'll kill you both."

The man narrowed his eyes, "See I don't think you will mister. You just don't seem the type to pull the trigger."

I wanted to laugh. These men had no idea who Joe was, or what he had done. He had been a Marine for decades before the power went out, and now, he was fighting to survive.

Joe's grip on the shotgun changed and he smiled.

The men should have known then what was coming, but they were too stupid to see it coming. The shotgun roared and one of the men dropped. The other man stared at his partner in shock and then reached for his own weapon.

Joe pumped another round and fired.

The second man fell to the ground.

As the gunpowder cleared from the air I walked over slowly, looking in the grass for my knife. One of the men groaned and shifted, inching towards me.

"Stupid…fucking…bitch" he groaned.

His fingers inched towards my knife, and I lunged forward, snatching it away from him. He cursed me, blood bubbling out of his mouth, trying to rise to his feet before collapsing back to the ground in a pool of his own blood.

I stared down at him, rage making my skin crawl. Without thinking, my foot snapped back and then connected sharply with the fallen man's jaw, sending his head reeling back. Something inside me cracked at the sensation and I brought my foot back again, kicking him again.

Joe's strong arms wrapped around me, pulling me away. Through a haze I could hear myself screaming, and Joe's voice murmuring, "Hush Becca…shhhh."

I thrashed and fought, tears streaming down my face. Joe held me tighter and made soft hushing noises until I collapsed, sobbing against his shirt. My heart was thundering against my ribs as the storm inside me raged, contained within Joe's arms.

As my tears abated I stood straight and wiped my face, sniffling.

Joe grabbed my chin and tilted my face upwards, his face stormy and his jaw clenched in anger. "Becca! What were you thinking?" he demanded.

I wrested my face free and stumbled backwards, glaring at him, "What the hell does that mean Joe? I was just out gathering food for us!" I waved my hand at the two dead men, "They came out of nowhere and attacked me. It's not like I went looking for trouble!"

Joe rolled his eyes, "Right, you didn't stray too far from camp? I told you to go no farther than whistling distance! You were almost a mile away!"

The anger flared again, and I clenched my fists. "So it's my fault they attacked me?" I shrieked.

Joe shook his head, "No Becca, but you know the type of people that are on the road. I told you not to go too far because it's not safe. You could have been killed."

I threw up my hands, angrier than before, "I could be killed tonight while we sleep! Joe! We have no idea what is going to happen!"

Joe ran a hand over his face, "You're right, we have no idea what is going to happen, but that doesn't mean you take unnecessary risks by going too far from camp."

I stared at him sullenly and finally nodded, "Okay."

Joe sighed and shook his head, "We need to go back. Hannah shouldn't be alone."

I pointed to the men, "What about them?" I asked.

Joe lifted a brow giving me a quizzical look, "What about them?"

I frowned, "Their campsite might not be far. We could strip it for supplies."

Joe stared at me for a moment and then frowned. He pondered something and then nodded, "We should go back to camp first. I want to pack up everything. We'll find their place, clean it out, and move on. There's been too much activity here tonight."

I nodded and followed him silently through the trees, the moonlight overhead guiding us. When we broke through the brush, Hannah gasped, a gun grasped tightly in her hands. Joe walked quickly to her side and took it from her, murmuring softly.

I saw her glancing over his shoulder, eyes wide.

I ignored them and washed my hands off, scrubbing the dirt and blood away.

We quickly packed our camp up and poured water over the fire, raking the ashes to make sure it was out. Joe led us through the forest, following some trail that neither of us could see until we came upon another campfire.

There were two tents, and a stockpile of food and guns. We quickly set about divvying up the supplies, working quietly and efficiently. When we were done Joe led us through the woods and along the road.

We walked for miles in the dark, the moon the only guiding light we had.

The adrenaline had begun to wear off and my yawns were coming thick and fast when I heard a sharp yell behind me. I spun, drawing my knife, looking for trouble.

Hannah was crumpled on the side of the road, clutching her leg. In the dark she hadn't seen a weak spot in the dirt that had sent her tumbling down the side of the embankment. I scrambled down the hill after her, tucking my knife away.

When I got to her side I saw tears streaming down her cheeks. "Hey, what's wrong?" I asked softly, trying to see in the pale light where she was hurt.

Hannah pointed to her ankle and whispered, "I can't put pressure on it." I looked up and saw blood in her mouth and frowned.

"Why is your mouth bleeding?" I asked worriedly.

She touched her lip and frowned, appearing dazed. "I-I must have bit my tongue when I fell" she murmured.

I nodded and looked over at Joe who had made his way down as well. "Should we take her boot off?" I asked. He shook his head.

"Keeping it on will maintain some pressure on it until we can get her settled. We need to get further down the road. You and I will support her."

I nodded and we each took an arm, lifting her slowly. Joe and I helped Hannah up the embankment, inch by painful inch. The next three miles took us two hours, and by the time we came to a suitable place to camp, the sun was starting to come up.

Joe and I got the tent ready and while I cooked something to eat, he sat beside Hannah and eased her boot off.

"It's not broken, but you won't be able to walk on it for at least a week. I'll find a stick so you can hobble along. We're not going to make it to Atlanta for awhile. We need to let you rest."

Hannah shook her head, "No we need to keep going."

Joe frowned, "If you don't rest it, you'll make it worse. And now, we can't take you to a hospital. So we're going to rest for a few days. Okay?"

Hannah looked sick, but nodded.

Joe stood and nodded at us, "Okay, I'm going to go find a suitable stick for Hannah. Becca, please finish dinner and stay on guard."

I gave him a faint nod and continued working on dinner, watching him walk away out of the corner of my eye. Hannah shifted uncomfortably on the ground next to me and I turned to give her a sympathetic smile, "Can I get you some painkillers, water, anything?"

She stared at me for a moment and then rolled her eyes, shaking her head. "No Becca, I'm fine." Her voice was sharp and sarcastic.

My eyes narrowed at her tone and stirred the food over the fire. "What's wrong Hannah?" I asked.

She sighed and shook her head, "Not a damn thing."

"Really? Because it sure seems like you're pissed."

She turned and glared at me, "Oh? Does it? Maybe because you can't listen to Joe and stay close to camp, so you got into a fight with those assholes, and made Joe kill them. Did you think about how that affects Joe? He had to kill two people Becca."

I stared at her in shock. I really hadn't given it much thought.

Mostly because Joe hadn't talked about it, and hadn't seemed upset by his actions. If he had wrung his hands or expressed remorse, I guess I would have felt…something. Mostly I was glad I was alive.

I sighed, "Hannah…I wasn't trying to put myself or Joe in danger. I certainly wasn't trying to get him to kill those men. It just happened."

Hannah shook her head, "I know that. But you've been acting recklessly ever since we left DC. You're freaking me out."

I stared down into the flames and didn't speak. What could I say? That every time something dangerous happened it actually made me feel something? Hannah would think I was crazy, or sick.

"I'm sorry if I've scared you" I murmured. It didn't really matter if I didn't believe the words. It only mattered that she needed to hear them.

I scooped food out into a bowl and handed it to her, smiling faintly. She studied my face for a moment and then nodded, smiling back. "It's okay. You've been through some crazy shit. But we all have, and we have to stick together. Okay?" she urged.

I nodded, giving her a false smile, hoping it was bright enough to lure her into a false sense of security. Apparently it was because she smiled brighter.

Joe came back a moment later, holding up a long straight stick. He tossed it down beside Hannah and took the bowl of food I offered gratefully. When they had finished I took their bowls, cleaning them out.

"You guys should get some rest" I urged.

Joe started to shake his head but I gave him a look and he raised a brow at me. "Just go get some rest Joe. It's my fault we didn't last night, so you guys go lay down. I'll take watch for awhile, and when I can't stay up, I'll come get you."

He stared at me for a minute before nodding, and turned to help Hannah into the tent. Her face was white with pain and when she had settled in; I heard the pill bottle rattle. It wasn't long before I heard both of them snoring, and I cracked a smile.

I sat down with Joe's shotgun and set about cleaning it, taking my time until I had taken it apart, cleaned it, and put it back together. When I had finished that, I cleaned my knife. The boredom of being on watch was something I had come to learn to live with, and I unrolled my pack, taking out my dirty clothes.

Lifting my map out, I scoured the pages until I figured out where we were. After some searching, it appeared that there was a creek two miles away. It would be amazing to wash my clothes, but that was too far away to go while both Joe and Hannah were sleeping.

I sighed, annoyed.

Shoving the dirty clothes back in my pack, I stood and walked the perimeter of our camp, studying the brush for any sign of edible plants. I crouched down, picking some wild mustard leaves.

I turned and stared back at the tent, hesitating. I wouldn't go too far.

I stepped into the trees and continued to look for anything edible, always keeping the campsite within eye site. After an hour I had enough for a salad to go with our MRE. I trudged back to camp, shivering as a cold breeze blew through the trees.

As I brushed the dirt off the leaves and made sure there weren't any bugs on them, Joe came out of the tent. I glanced up and frowned at him. "You need more sleep than that" I murmured.

He yawned and nodded, "Probably, but you need rest too." He looked down at the leaves I had gathered and sighed. "Looks like you found some salad" he observed.

I nodded, "All within eye sight." I glanced up at him, waiting to see if he would yell, and when he just gave me a wry smile, I ducked my head and continued to brush them off.

He sat down next to me and took a handful, helping me clean them off, working quietly.

"You had to kill two men because of me" I commented, not looking up. I could sense Joe stilling beside me.

"Yea, I did."

"How do you feel about it?" I asked softly.

He looked up at me and I turned my chin to meet his gaze. His brow was furrowed as he asked, "Do you mean do I feel remorse?"

I nodded.

"I took life Becca, you should always feel remorse about that. I do. But they were going to kill you, and I wasn't going to let that happen. If I had let them go, they would have followed us and killed us. They didn't leave me many options."

I swallowed hard, "That's what I thought too. I just wanted to make sure I wasn't crazy…or, or, sick."

Joe's eyes grew sad, "No kid. You aren't. You never should have had to learn about thinking this way, but the world isn't what it used to be. Now everyone is learning what it means to survive in hell. People are either going to shine brighter, or let out their inner demons."

I looked down at the ground, my heart thumping painfully. "How do you know what you're doing is right?" I asked.

Joe reached out and touched my shoulder softly and I looked back up. He smiled softly at me, "Because kid, you're one of the people with a bright light inside you. Let that goodness guide you, that gut instinctual feeling, and you won't go wrong."

I nodded, but deep down, I was worried he was wrong. My light had broken. All the lights were broken now.

October 3rd, 2012

Hannah was hobbling around our camp, testing her weight on her ankle, using her walking stick. Joe was by her side, making sure she didn't hurt herself, and I was heading to the creek to wash our dirty clothing.

It had rained, and then snowed, and finally today had warmed up above freezing enough that I thought it would be possible for me to get to the creek and safely wash our clothing. As I knelt by the creek, the freezing water soaked into my jeans, biting into my skin.

I hissed and quickly began scrubbing the clothing, yelping at the bite of the cold water on my hands. By the time I was done my hands were red and the clothes were stiff in the cold air. I staggered back to camp, my limbs shaking.

Joe caught sight of me and shook his head, striding forward to snatch the mass of wet clothing from my arms.

"D-don't you d-dare t-toss that in the d-dirt" I ordered. He rolled his eyes but nodded turning and setting them inside the tent. He grabbed one of the blankets and wrapped it around me, forcing me to sit as close to the fire as one could get without catching fire.

I shuddered and closed my eyes; the feeling of pins and needles over my entire body was decidedly unpleasant. When I opened them, Joe was hanging our clothes on a line of rope that he had hung between two trees near the fire.

Hannah staggered back and forth, helping him. She shook her head at me, smiling faintly. "You look blue" she commented wryly.

"You look drunk" I snarked back.

She laughed, "I haven't been drunk in weeks. Man what I wouldn't give for a beer."

I nodded and closed my eyes again, leaning towards the fire, "Mmm, or hot cocoa with Bailey's."

"Yes! Or mulled apple cider."

Joe laughed, "You ladies are making me thirsty."

I opened my eyes and smiled at them, "Well, there is a creek not too far away if anyone is interested. It's icy fresh." Both Joe and Hannah gave me looks that told me I wasn't that funny, and I smirked, wrapping the blanket tighter around me.

I coughed softly and wished I had a mug of tea more than anything else. As the heat from the fire thawed me out, I coughed harder. I frowned and tucked my chin, covering my mouth as a coughing fit overtook me.

Joe looked up, concern written on his face.

I shook my head, "I'm fine. It's just from the cold."

He shook his head and pointed to the tent, "Go lay down." I opened my mouth to argue, but at the look on his face, I decided that it would perhaps be better to just crawl inside the tent and close my eyes.

When I was tucked in the sleeping bag, the blanket pulled up to my nose, I sighed. It was so much warmer than I had expected….

A few minutes later I began to drift…

October 4th, 2012

I slept until the next day. When I got up I felt worse, my head pounded, and my cough wouldn't go away. I layered on two sweaters, and tried to forage for more food, but when I got dizzy and threw up in the middle of the woods, I made my way, slowly, back to camp.

Joe took one look at my face and forced me to eat and drink, handing me ibuprofen. "You can't get sick. We don't have the resources." His face was lined with worry, and though I reassured him it was just a cold, it didn't feel like it.

As my cough got worse, I began to strip off sweaters. Was it just me or was it hot?

Hannah grabbed my arm, "What are you doing? It's freezing out!"

I stared at her through hazy eyes, "But I'm hot" I murmured.

She shook her head, "You need to put that back on. You probably have a fever, and you need to stay warm."

That didn't make sense…if I had a fever, I was already warm…shouldn't I cool down? I stumbled backwards and tried to take off another sweater. My head spun, and I collapsed.

The light faded from the sky.

"Shit! Joe!"

"What happened?"

"She collapsed, I think she has a fever. She feels really hot."

"Okay, well, let's give her some ibuprofen and that should help. We need to keep her hydrated too."

I heard Hannah and Joe talking, but I couldn't open my eyes, they felt like they were each weighed down with a ton of lead.

"Becca? Can you open your mouth? I need to give you some ibuprofen and water." A hand on my neck lifted my head and my mouth opened compliantly. I felt the pills on my tongue and a moment later the water spilled into my mouth like rain onto a desert.

I swallowed and gasped….my throat felt like it was on fire. I began to cough, wheezing and gasping.

"Shit I think she's choking!" Joe's strong arms lifted me and turned me onto my side, easing the air into my lungs.

I collapsed in his arms, my breath wheezing in and out, each breath painful.

"That doesn't sound good. Her breathing? It sounds like pneumonia."

"Pneumonia? How did it develop so quickly Joe?"

"I have no idea. But she can't stay here. She needs real medicine."

Pneumonia…that was bad. I breathed in and out…feeling as though each breath ripped my lungs apart. I tried to stay awake…but the demon inside me burned…

October 6th, 2012

Something cool and wet landed on my face. I struggled to open my eyes.

The grey sunlight pierced my eyes and I winced, shutting them again.

Snow.

That was why it felt nice.

I could feel myself moving.

I cracked my eyes open again and saw Joe's face above mine.

He was carrying me.

I closed my eyes.

That was nice of him.

October 7th, 2012

"Please, can you help her? She has pneumonia."

"Sir, do you see all these other patients? She'll have to wait."

"Doctor, you don't understand. We've been walking for three days to get here. I don't think she can wait longer."

….

"Alright, follow me."

I felt Joe set me down on something soft, and then a new set of hands began touching me. I tried to open my mouth to protest, but the most I could do was cough and moan. I couldn't even open my eyes.

"You're right, she has pneumonia. It's extremely advanced. I'll give her treatment, but just know, she might not make it."

"Thank you."

October 9th, 2012

My eyes fluttered open. I turned my head slowly and found Joe sitting beside my bed, watching me. He smiled softly and I smiled back.

"Good to see that smile kid."

"You too" I whispered.

I looked around the room and frowned, "Where's Hannah?"

He sighed, "We're outside Atlanta, in her hometown. She found her parents. But she's been by to check on you."

I nodded, but still felt a pang of loss. She was lucky they were okay. Joe's eyes softened, understanding my feelings.

I shifted in the bed and sat up, "So, pneumonia, huh? How am I doing?" I asked.

He smiled, "A lot better. They gave you an IV of concentrated meds, and said when you woke up we could have them to go. We can leave when they say."

I nodded, "I'm ready when you are." I was eager to get out of the hospital and back to the farm. If Hannah and her family wanted to come with us, all the better. "Will they come with us?" I asked.

Joe shrugged, "Hannah isn't sure. They have family here."

I nodded, feeling the sadness spread. I pushed the blankets down and swung my legs over the edge of the bed, standing. I was only slightly unsteady. "We should go find out."

Joe gave me a wary look and then sighed, "Kid. You almost died on the way here. Why don't you stay with your friend?"

I stared at him; shock and anger pulsing through me. "Because you're my friend too Joe. I'm not leaving you to walk all that way by yourself."

He regarded me for a moment and then shook his head, smiling. "You're a good woman Becca. Alright. Let's go find Hannah."

I nodded and then looked down, grinning. "How about some pants first?"

AN: Please review! I hope to hear from some of those that are reading! Thank you!