August 28th, 2016
Humid heat sweltered in the sick room, turning the already close air into a stew of rancid scents; blood, feces, and vomit. I choked on the air and wiped my brow with the back of my hand, carrying yet more ruined sheets to the laundry, my own clothes soaked in sweat and other, less pleasant stains.
Bass had made it through the night, but was struggling with each hour. His temperature had surged twice and the antibiotics were barely helping it seemed to me, but the doctor seemed more optimistic than he had last night.
Dumping the sheets into the large basin I wiped my hands off before going to wash them thoroughly, scrubbing them until my hands were red and raw.
"If you keep that up you're going to end up with burger for hands," Miles murmured from behind me.
I swallowed hard, blinking back tears of stress and exhaustion and turned around, smiling tiredly at him, "I'll have to find some gloves then," I murmured.
Miles sighed and shook his head, slinging an arm around my shoulder, tugging me out of the room. "How much sleep did you get last night kid?" he asked softly.
I shrugged nonchalantly, "A few hours. Enough," I replied, my gaze firmly on the floor ahead. Miles squeezed my shoulder and my arm ached from the simple gesture of kindness; the number of bodies I had helped lift in the past days had grown from dozens to at least a hundred.
"Listen, Becca, you need to get some sleep. Bass needs you to be strong, and you can't do that if you pass out." H paused and stepped aside, frowning at me, "How do you think he would feel if he knew you were working yourself to the bone like this?" he asked.
I sighed and shook my head, hating that he was guilt tripping me. "Fuck Miles, I know," I breathed, "But what else am I supposed to do?" I asked, frustrated. "Act like everything is okay?" I demanded.
Miles shook his head, "That's not what I said, and you know it. You need to go get something to eat, you look like a ghost. Then wash off, and sleep for at least four hours. I don't want to see your face before 2pm, got it?" he ordered firmly.
I glared at him for a moment before my resolve weakened, the pounding in my head making my eyes hurt. "Fine…" I breathed, my eyes sliding shut for a moment, shaking my head. Miles roped an arm around my shoulders once more, rubbing his hand up and down my arm comfortingly as he guided me down the hall to my room.
Pushing the door open to my room he smiled softly, "Get some rest kid," he murmured.
I nodded faintly and waved goodbye to him, shutting the door gently behind me. Stripping off my clothes I shoved them into a red bag and carefully set them outside the door, knowing they would be taken and washed.
It was a recent development we had set up within the building, but it was incredibly helpful. Filling my washbasin, I quickly cleaned off and then dressed in a pair of underwear and a ratty tshirt that hung to my hips, breathing a sigh of relief as I pulled my hair out of its braid.
Flopping down on my bed I buried my face in the pillows and within moments was drowsy, my exhaustion hitting me like a brick.
Staring out at the city streets I frowned softly, watching as more bodies were loaded onto wagons and taken out of the city to be buried or burned. The medicine was working on those who were newly sickened by the disease, but those who had been ill the longest were dying.
Our city was dying.
The destiny of the Republic hung by a thread and it seemed that thread was ready to be cut by the all too eager hands of the Fates.
The sun set slowly, painting the sky a bloody red and I sighed, turning back to tend to the ill militia lying in their cots. Wiping sweat off a man's brow I wrung out a cloth and laid the cool fabric against his forehead, checking his IV to make sure he was getting enough meds.
Moving slowly through the rows of beds I worked with relentless motion, cleaning sheets, checking medicine, and wiping away fluids. The entire time my mind was consumed with worry for Bass, the men and women lying in the beds beneath my hands, and for our city.
When Miles had woken me after my nap I had immediately gone to check on Bass, my stomach in knots at the thought of what could have happened to him while I slept. As I watched him sleep, my eyes burned with unshed tears.
His face was filled with a healthy pallor for the first time in days and his breathing finally seemed even and restful. When I laid my hand against his skin, it felt cool, unlike days previous when he had felt like he had a raging fire just beneath his skin.
The doctor finally seemed optimistic and had told me that he thought Bass was going to make it, though his body had lost a significant amount of weight that he would need to start gaining back immediately.
I was all too happy to help with that mission, if it meant that I got more time with Bass. The fear that had gripped me during his illness had been resolute and unyielding, torturing me with nightmares of Bass's funeral, of a life without him.
Slowly I walked to Bass's room, carrying a bowl of soup and a small chunk of bread for him to try and eat. The doctor had insisted that we try to get solid food into his body so that he could begin to gain weight and have food fueling his immune system.
Sitting down beside his bed I smiled softly when I saw that he was awake, and though he looked sleepy, he smiled back happily. "You're a sight for sore eyes," he whispered, licking his lips to wet them, an action I normally would have found sexy, but given his current condition I cringed inwardly at how dry and worn they looked.
I smiled faintly, "Mmm, I doubt it," I murmured, swiping a hand across my sweaty brow and grimacing. Pushing my sweaty hair back from my face I quickly lifted the bowl of soup and held out a spoonful to him, smiling faintly.
"You're gorgeous," he murmured, reaching out to stroke my cheek gently. His eyes shown with affection and his fingers were weak against my face, trembling softly, but I could see the strength in his eyes and it made my throat tight with emotion.
Blinking rapidly I looked down at the spoonful of soup resting in the bowl and took a deep breath before lifting it up and smiling softly at Bass, "Thank you Bass. Now eat," I commanded gently, guiding the spoon to his lips.
He smiled faintly and opened his lips obligingly, making a soft noise of appreciation as he chewed the noodles and chicken. As he ate slowly I ripped a piece of bread off and dunked it into the broth, soaking up the savory flavor before holding it out to him to eat.
Bass sighed and opened his mouth to take the bite, chewing slowly for a moment before speaking carefully around his chewing, "This is really demeaning, you know that, don't you?" he murmured.
I snorted and leaned in to brush his hair back off his forehead, smiling wryly, "I don't know what you mean, I'm literally playing nurse to you, isn't that every man's wet dream?" I teased softly, my voice light with barely concealed laughter.
Bass laughed as he swallowed, his eyes sparkling. "Only if I can play doctor with you," he whispered back, his hand sliding from the mattress to rest on my knee, squeezing it softly, his eyes steadily on mine.
I smirked and held out another spoonful of soup to him, "Here, eat up, doctor. You need your strength if you're going to get better," I murmured, my voice dry.
Bass ate slowly, seeming to savor the food, and slowly, more color returned to his face, giving him a healthy pallor. By the time the bowl was empty and the bread was gone Bass once again looked exhausted, collapsing back against the pillows, his chest rising and falling quickly.
I set the bowl aside and gently fluffed his pillow before pulling his blankets up to his chest, making sure he was covered. I longed to kiss him, but was worried that he might be too fragile to put at such risk.
Instead I ran my fingers through his hair once more, trailing my fingers down his jaw and stroked his cheek with my thumb gently for a moment before sighing and pulling away. "Sweet dreams Bass, I'll see you tomorrow," I whispered as he fell asleep.
A faint smile formed on his full lips. "Sweet…dreams…nurse," he sighed.
"Smart ass," I mumbled softly, smirking at him before turning and leaving him to rest. I hadn't even noticed the stars that had come out, hadn't noticed the silence that had fallen in the building, or the fact that the ceaseless movement had finally stilled.
It was only when I pushed open my bedroom door and sank down on my mattress and stared out the window that I realized how late it was, the sky was no longer fully black, it was starting to turn steel grey, the shades of the world before dawn, and I suddenly found it almost impossible to keep my eyes open.
Yawning so wide that I thought my jaw would crack; I toed my boots off and stripped my sweaty clothes off, wrinkling my nose at how odorous I was, how sticky my skin felt. I quickly scrubbed down and pulled on a pair of clean underwear and a tank top, feeling more refreshed as I went to crawl into my bed.
As I stared up at the ceiling, it occurred to me how empty my bed felt without Bass beside me.
Sighing contentedly I rolled over in bed, stretching my sore, weary limbs and nuzzled my face into the pillows, breathing in the soft scent of the lavender satchels that kept my bed smelling fresh.
Sunlight flowed in through my curtains, warming my face, making me sleepy. Knowing that Bass was resting and healing made it easier to relax into the covers and close my eyes again, breathing a soft sigh of contentment.
Loud knocks at the door startled me awake an unknown amount of time later, setting my heart to pounding as I bolted upright in bed.
The sun spilled across the floor in such a way that I knew it had to be around noon, and I was amazed that I had slept so late.
The knocking at the door continued and I quickly threw back the covers, rummaging through my drawers for a pair of shorts, "Hold on!" I called as I hopped on one foot, pulling them over my legs.
A moment later I threw the door open and frowned at Miles, "What the hell?" I demanded, annoyed to have been woken from my first full night's sleep in more than a week. I glared at him, hands on my hips, sighing in exasperation, until his expression began to sink into my brain and my stomach rolled with worry.
"Oh god…oh god, is Bass okay?" I gasped, reaching out to grab his arm, my fingers digging into his skin. Miles sighed and shook his head, reaching out to unwind my fingers from his arm.
"He's fine, he ate twice already. That's not the problem." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a wrinkled envelope with my name on it, handing it over solemnly, his brow furrowed. I snatched the letter away with a relieved sigh, my stomach still in knots, and slid a finger beneath the flap.
Sliding the letter out I winced as a pile of ashes slid from within the envelope and fluttered to the floor. Memories from my childhood of anthrax scares made me nervous to continue handling the letter, but I took a soft breath and slid it open, reading quickly.
My fingers clenched into a fist as I finished reading and I lifted my chin to look up at Miles, anger blazing within me. "You saw who delivered this?" I demanded.
He nodded. "Plains Nation." He rubbed the ash between his fingers, "Is it what I think?" he asked tiredly.
"They burned our treaty. Because of what happened to Dale. If our people cross into their territories they'll be killed on sight. They've put a bounty on Natasha and me, and have allied with Canadian forces." I grimaced; we were well and truly fucked.
I sighed and tossed the letter in the trash, "We need to contact Georgia. If they plan on attacking, we'll need help fighting them off."
Miles shook his head, "We can't reveal how weak we are. We need to start drafting more people into the militia," he murmured, his thick brows knitting together in frustration.
I shook my head, "With what citizenry? People here in the city and surrounding area are either dead, dying or too sick to serve."
Miles lifted his chin and stared at me steadily and I immediately started shaking my head at the look in his eye, "No, whatever it is you want me to do, the answer is no, Miles."
He heaved a sigh and ran a hand over the back of his neck, "Come on Becca, the outlying regions haven't contributed their share of people for the militia. We need more!" he insisted.
"And it's that way so they don't rebel! I told them they wouldn't have to for a year so they would contribute grain, vegetables, meat! Things we need to survive here in the city!" I cried, frustrated. Biting my lip, I took a deep breath and stepped back, tugging his arm to pull him into my room so we weren't shouting at each other in the doorway where anyone could overhear.
Shutting the door softly I sighed and shook my head, "I can get you contributions from New England, Pittsburgh, Virginia, Maryland, and maybe, maybe, North Carolina. But it's going to take some time. I'll send messengers to all of them, and I'll start with North Carolina. They'll be the hardest to get. Okay?" I demanded.
I don't think I had ever seen Miles look as relieved as he had in that moment. "Thank you Becca," he murmured, turning towards the door.
"Oh, you're not getting all this for free," I replied, smirking faintly as he paused and turned, resignation lining his face.
"What do you want?" he asked softly.
"A vacation, ideally. Since that's not going to happen, I want a few days with Bass, no interruptions, when I get back. I'll take the heat and tell him I have to leave to handle this, but you're coming with me, got it?" I asked softly, my voice dangerous.
Miles regarded me for a moment and then, completely surprising me, hugged me. "I'm sorry kid. I know this isn't easy or fair." He squeezed my shoulders tightly and to my further surprise, tears formed in my eyes.
I wrapped my arms around his waist and took a deep breath, "Thanks Miles," I whispered. He nodded and gave me another squeeze before stepping back, his face back into its familiar squinty smile.
As he opened my door he smirked and pointed at my tank top, "Wonder Woman, huh?" he asked wryly.
I grinned and lifted an arm, flexing my bicep, "Don't forget it!" I called as he laughed and turned away, shaking his head. Shutting the door behind him I quickly decided to get dressed and go see Bass.
If I was going to be leaving again, I wanted to spend as much time together as possible.
"Leaving me again so soon?" Bass murmured softly as I helped him to his feet, my arm wrapped tightly around his waist, leveraging his still substantial weight across the room slowly. His voice may have been soft, but his tone screamed at me; Don't go.
I sighed softly and adjusted my grip on his hips, tilting my chin up to glance at him, startled realization hitting me that he was taller than me; he had seemed so small in his bed, the illness having stripped all excess fat off his body, taken his strength and his vitality.
We walked slowly down the hallway to the small portico off of Bass's office, the corridors empty and quiet. "I go where the Republic needs me, Mr. President," I murmured wryly, glancing up at him with a sly smile.
He smiled tiredly down at me, his eyes a paler blue than I had ever seen them before. The circles beneath his eyes looked as though he had been beaten, and his skin looked pale from exertion. It frightened me to see a man who had always been so strong look so weak, to not be the strength I could rely upon when I needed it.
I thanked God that Miles hadn't gotten sick, and that he was staying behind to make sure Bass continued to recover. A knot of worry lodged in my stomach at the thought of something happening to either of them while I was gone, and I dragged Bass a little faster out onto the porch to situate him in a large wicker chair.
Bass panted softly and lifted a brow, "Eager to get me alone, huh?" he teased, tugging on my hand to pull me down into the chair so that I landed softly in his lap. I quickly adjusted my weight on him and hung my legs over the side of the chair, wrapping my arms around his neck, smiling faintly at him.
"I'm always happy to get you alone," I murmured, running my fingers up the base of his neck, tracing the firm muscles there to the soft curls at the nape of his neck, curling my fingers into them and dragging them back out gently.
His eyes drifted closed with a sigh of contentment and a look of pleasure suffused his face as I continued the action, smiling sadly. I loved him when he was like this, with me, quiet and thoughtful, gentle.
I admired his warrior moments as well, his bright, fiery speeches and his deadly aim, but this was the man I had first fallen in love with. The man who would sit and read with me, studying statecraft, reading Harry Potter and debating the relative merits of Snape.
I smiled softly and laid my head on his shoulder, closing my eyes as his arms wrapped around me, holding me close. "Trust me, I don't want to leave. I want to stay and make sure you get stronger," I whispered, running my fingers along his arm.
He chuckled softly, "You already saved me from dying, I think I can handle the rest," he murmured, kissing my temple softly.
Sighing deeply I opened my eyes and tilted my chin to kiss him, surprising him with my firmness as I wound my fingers through his hair, pulling him tightly to me. His palms flattened against my back, pushing me up, his mouth searching against mine with a soft groan of pleasure.
His body was firm against mine, despite his weight loss, and I ached for more, but rationality wormed its way into the center of my brain and I pulled away slowly, breathing heavily. Bass cupped my cheek and breathed shakily, "Be. Fucking. Careful." he whispered, his eyes blazing with emotion.
I nodded, my throat thick, and I kissed him softly once more, quickly. "Thank you for not dying," I whispered. I traced my thumb over his cheek, slowly moving down to his full bottom lip, my eyes focused on his face intently, our gazes burning into each other.
I choked on my words, not sure if I could get them out. My mouth opened and closed like a fish and Bass smirked, "Cat got your tongue?" he whispered, lifting a brow.
I laughed softly, closing my eyes as I shook my head, "No, sorry. It's just…this is harder than I thought it would be," I murmured.
I felt him tense against me and I knew he thought that what I had to say was going to be terrible. Quickly opening my eyes I cupped his cheek, my gaze solemn as I stared into his eyes. "I love you Bass. I want you to know that before I leave again, because things are changing so rapidly, and I…I almost lost you," I whispered.
I watched as his eyes widened in shock for a moment, then flooded with relief, joy, and pleasure. His hands on me tightened again and his lips captured mine for a brief, joyful kiss before he murmured, "I love you too," in my ear, his breath warm on my skin.
Relief shot through me; I had been so worried that I would lay myself bare before him and he would reject me. My breath whooshed out of me in a shaky burst and Bass smiled softly, "Did you think I didn't love you?" he asked gently, incredulously.
I shrugged nervously, "I didn't know what to think. I didn't know if you could love me after everything you lost." I looked into his eyes and decided to be honest, "I've loved you a long time Bass. Shelley knew…" I swallowed uncomfortably and continued, "She knew and she wanted you to be happy. But I couldn't step on her memory, or your daughter's, so I didn't say or do anything, for so long. And I wish I had."
He stared at me, something deep and strong in his eyes, his jaw tight as he struggled to control his emotions, tears threatening in his eyes at the memory of his long deceased daughter and wife. I stroked his cheek and swallowed hard when his tears finally fell, soaking into my skin.
He struggled for breath for a few minutes, his eyes screwed shut as he tried to compose himself, and I said nothing, simply stroking his hair and his cheek, assuring him I was here. When his eyes cleared he took a deep breath and smiled shakily at me, "I think I'd be dead without you," he whispered.
Shaking his head at my soft protest he held up a finger and I let him continue, "I would have killed myself after they died Becca. I thought about it, and if you hadn't stayed with me and kept me going, giving me reason to live, I would have done it. You've given me a reason to keep going every day, even when the days seem dark."
His lips shook as he smiled at me and he brushed a strand of hair from my face, leaning in to kiss me softly. Pulling away he gazed at me seriously, "I expect you to come home in one piece, you hear me?" he murmured.
I nodded and tugged on the hair at the base of his neck gently, "And I expect you to still be alive when I come home, you hear me?" I replied. He nodded and I sighed softly, happily. Leaning my head back against his shoulder I closed my eyes and breathed out softly, enjoying the cool breeze that blew across the porch, cooling our entwined bodies.
Why couldn't it always be like this?
It felt like hours passed as we sat there together, simply breathing each other in, our lips meeting occasionally, our hearts beating in unison. A knock at the doorway roused me from a light doze and I lifted my head from Bass's shoulder to find Natasha standing in the doorway, a regretful smile on her face.
"I'm sorry Ambassador, but it's time," she murmured.
I nodded and unwound myself from Bass slowly, unwillingly, and stood. Leaning down, I braced my hands on the arms of the chair and stared him firmly in the eye, "You are not allowed to go haring off to do anything until you gain at least ten pounds. If I find out that you made yourself worse, so help me God, I will come back here and kick your ass," I whispered sharply.
He smirked faintly and leaned in towards me, his long fingers wrapping around my wrists, "I love you too," he whispered back before leaning up and kissing me firmly. I smirked against his lips and pulled away after a moment, our fingers trailing over each other as I turned to face Natasha.
I smiled softly at her as we walked down the hallway to the main entrance and loped lightly down the stairs to where my entourage was waiting. Ten highly trained female guards stood next to a wagon loaded with provisions for our trip, their bodies laden with weapons, muscles rippling in the afternoon sun.
Beda pranced proudly in the sun, neighing when she saw me, Natasha's horse prancing next to her. We mounted quickly and a few moments later our guard mounted up, following us through the streets and out the city.
I looked back over my shoulder at the fading skyline and exhaled sharply, praying that all would remain well while I was gone.
The heat had finally broken and it was pleasantly warm sitting out on the porch, the breeze blowing over my skin, the sun on my face for the first time in over a week. My arms felt empty without Becca in them, and my heart ached at the idea of her going off without me once again.
She had been back for only a short moment and in that time she and Miles had saved not just my life, but thousands of lives within the city. I felt her absence so acutely it was like a dagger to the heart, making it hard to breath.
I hadn't realized that it could hurt to watch someone you love walk away, even knowing they were coming back. I hadn't known that I could forget to breath when I looked in her eyes and saw the depth of pain and love there, and felt it reflected in my own heart, knowing how deeply I would be hurt if something happened to her.
The breeze blew harder and I shivered, wishing for a jacket or a blanket. Footsteps behind me alerted me to a presence moments before a hand landed on my shoulder. "How're you doing man?" Miles murmured as I stared out at the wilted flowers.
I snorted softly and shrugged, "Fine, just stayin alive man," I muttered.
He nodded and leaned against the railing in front of me, arms crossed over his torso, his rangy body narrower after the stressful week we had all been through. He had accompanied Becca when she told me she would be leaving again, but had carefully given us space afterwards.
"She's gonna be fine, you know that, right?" he murmured to me, casting a side glance my way.
I nodded slowly, accepting his words, but worry knotted me up, tying me in binds so tight I felt like I couldn't move. There were so many dangerous places in our still forming Republic, and we needed Becca for so much more after this.
I needed her.
We sat in silence as the breeze blew, both of us contemplating our missing friend, love, Ambassador, our Becca.
AN: Hello darlings! I thought I would end on a note from Bass, since we haven't heard from him since the beginning! I hope you've enjoyed this chapter, please review, and thank you for reading!