September 20th, 2019

I watched from the back deck as the waves pounded into the sand, dragging in and out inexorably. Pulling the sleeves down on my sweater I smiled up at Bass as he carried out a tray of eggs, bacon and toast.

Sitting beside me on the wicker lounge he set the tray down and waved for me to eat. I quickly dug in, leaning back to drop my feet in his lap, smirking when he gave me a mocking glare. We ate in near silence, both of us hungry from our rigorous bout of sex this morning.

In the two days that we had been here we had made love numerous times until we were sore, exhausted and sated. We had talked about everything; our plans for the Republic, what had been going on in our heads for the last two years, and what our plans were for the future.

It was so heartwarming to know how deeply Bass relied on my advice and how much he believed that the best thing for the Republic was my input and guidance. He told me that the only time he ever felt confident making a decision was when we had discussed it, when I had argued with him until he had a headache.

He was sure that nothing could ever make him as confident in a decision as my direction and my expertise. Likewise, I was never more certain about things as I was when we were discussing them.

Bass liked to joke that he was nothing more than a Marine, a grunt who had gotten lucky, but I knew better. He was an incredibly intelligent man, and he hid his cunning behind blue eyes and a charming smile.

Together, we were an unstoppable team.

While Bass napped I lay beside him, smirking when he nuzzled closer, his arm around my waist. I opened The Brothers Karamazov and frowned when a small envelope slid out, sliding into my lap.

Two years ago Bass had given me the book and I had promptly set it aside, forgetting to read it in the craze that was our lives. He had given me the envelope at the same time as the books, but had told me not to open it until I was ready to, until I remembered what our life had been.

Truth be told I had remembered our life and what I felt for him long ago, but the envelope had slid from my memory the same way it slid into my lap, abruptly and without event.

Glancing over to make sure Bass was still asleep, I slid a finger along the seam of the envelope and opened it. As I slid the letter within free, something dropped into my lap, sliding between my legs to plunk against the mattress.

Setting aside the letter I reached between my legs and paused when my fingers touched cold metal.

Awareness shivered through me.

A ring.

Bass had given me a ring.

My fingers closed around it and I clenched it in my fist, resting it in my lap, my fingers trembling around the ring.

Taking a deep breath, I slowly unfurled my fingers, letting out a soft hiss at the sight of the ring in my palm. It was a delicate ring, rose gold with a fire opal set in the middle of a flower, tiny leaves on the sides holding diamonds.

With shaking fingers I set it on my thigh and opened the letter.

Dear Rebecca,

I know you're struggling with this attack and what it has done to you. I know you feel like you aren't yourself, that you've lost some part of you, that maybe you'll never be whole again.

Even if you never feel whole, or never entirely yourself again, I'll love you. I'll love you because who you are will never change to me, you'll always be the one I trust with everything in me. I want you to know that no matter what has happened or will happen to you, I'll always be here for you, I'll always love you.

I have always loved you, even from the beginning. From the first moment I met you and saw your strength I fell for you. It always should have been you baby. I only wish I had the courage in the past to tell you how I felt so we could have been together longer.

The idea that you could be my wife scares me and makes me happier than I could have ever imagined. I'll love you until the day I die and I hope that you feel the same.

Rebecca, I hope you'll be my wife because I want nothing more than to be your husband.

Love you forever,

Sebastian

I wiped away tears at the sweetness enclosed within the letter and set it on my other thigh. Carefully I studied the two objects, tokens of Bass's love and desire to be with me. The decision of whether I accepted them weighed on me for a long few minutes before I set aside the letter and slid the ring on my finger.

Running my fingers through Bass's hair, I propped my knees up and rested the book on my thighs, reading as he slept. Occasionally the light would glint off the opal and I would find myself staring at it, smiling softly.

Nearly two hours passed in which Bass slept and I read, thoroughly enjoying the book that I had read so many years ago in college. When I felt him stir beside me I carefully hid my hand wearing the ring behind the book and smiled at him as his eyes fluttered open.

His lips curled into a sleepy smile.

"Hey babe," he whispered, his fingers curling around my waist, gently tugging me closer.

I smiled softly in response and shut my book, marking the page with the letter Bass had written me. His gaze followed the action and his eyes widened when he saw the letter. He quickly rose up on one arm and stared at me intently.

"Rebecca?" he murmured questioningly, hopefully.

Setting aside the book slowly, I made sure my hand remained out of sight, buried in the sheets as I turned to face him more fully. The hopeful, worried look on his face twisted my heart around and I leaned in to kiss him gently.

Slowly I slid my hand up his chest, squeezing his pec gently to get his attention. His eyes darted down to where my hand rested, widening when he saw the ring around my finger. Smiling softly I leaned in and kissed him again.

"Where's your ring?" I teased softly.

He chuckled softly and shook his head, "I never found one for me. Maybe you should pick it out," he suggested.

"Of course I will Sebastian. When do you want to get married?" I asked softly, smiling widely.

"As soon as we get back. We've waited long enough," he replied eagerly.

Laughing softly I nodded and let him curl me into his embrace, kissing him back with fervor. Pulling away gently I leaned into his chest, sighing happily when he wrapped an arm around my waist.

We lay that way for a long time, dozing in each other's arms.

Bass's fingers slid under my shirt, his rough fingers sliding along my stomach in a way that left shivers running over my body. His palm glided over my stomach and slid up to cup my breast, squeezing it gently.

Sighing in pleasure I slipped my hand under the waistband of his sweats, humming when I encountered nothing but bare skin. He breathed out gently against my lips as I wrapped my fingers around his semi, giving it a gentle squeeze.

Our lips met for a long kiss and when we parted Bass whispered, "Do you want to have kids?"

The question stunned me into stillness.

Did I want kids?

I hadn't as a younger woman, but now that I had been with Bass for so many years, the idea of starting a family with him appealed to me deeply.

Meeting his eyes hesitantly, I nodded.

His eyes widened with joy and sparkled like two jewels as he clutched me tighter, hope springing to his face.

"Really baby? Really?" he whispered, his voice so eager it brought tears to my eyes.

Nodding again I cleared my throat and replied back softly. "I do."

His lips crashed against mine and I could feel his eagerness as he pulled me tighter against him. He let out a low moan as he squeezed my breast again, his thumb rubbing over the nipple until I was aching.

Bass's hips rolled into mine in a steady rhythm that had me softly moaning his name and kissing him fervently. His fingers tugged at my shirt until we parted and he could pull it over my head, tossing it aside.

I was so glad that I had decided to go braless today…especially when his lips closed over my breasts, taking his time to tease them into firm peaks that ached with pleasure.

As he pulled away and kissed my throat I smirked and tugged on his hair gently, running my fingers through it. "You tryin to make that baby now?" I teased softly.

Bass chuckled against my neck and hummed softly, "You got it darlin, and if we don't, it's enjoyable practice anyway," he told me, his tone amused.

I laughed softly and pulled him up for a kiss, my hips caging him in and my legs wrapping around his waist. "Let's practice then," I whispered against his lips.

He made a soft noise of agreement and rolled his hips into mine, kissing me more firmly as his fingers splayed against my back. My fingers scrambled at the hem of his shirt, tugging on it until we parted briefly and I tossed it aside.

Bass pulled me against him, my taut nipples scraping against his chest as we kissed languidly, allowing the heat to grow between us as our hands roamed, teasing and squeezing until we were both moaning and gasping.

I could feel Bass's erection pressing into me, firm and long, making me dry mouthed with need. My fingers curled in the waistband of his pants, tugging him closer as I rolled my hips, gasping softly at the sensation of his length rubbing against my clit through the fabric of my jeans.

My fingers gripped his ass and pulled him harder against me, desperate for more friction. After a few moments I stopped and pushed him onto his back, straddling him quickly. My long hair curtained his face when I leaned in and kissed him, rolling my hips into his.

I ground my hips into his, enjoying the moan of satisfaction that rumbled up out of him. I continued kissing him, my fingers tangling in his curls as I gasped against his lips, my clit aching for relief.

Bass's hands grasped my ass firmly, pulling me harder against him until I was trembling with need. My fingers fumbled with his belt, tugging until his pants hung open and I could shove them off, down his legs and tossed aside with an eagerness that had been missing from our interactions for months.

I lifted myself and peeled away my own pants and underwear before lowering myself and rolling my hips against his, my thighs damp with desire. Bass grunted softly and gripped my hips tightly, his face pinched with concentration.

I couldn't stand it anymore, I needed more.

Reaching between us, I guided him to my entrance and slowly sheathed him, a low moan escaping me when he settled fully between my legs, filling me.

Slowly I began to ride his dick, my fingers clamping down on his shoulders as he swelled within me, stretching and spreading me until I was breathless. Bass let me control the pace, his fingers splayed over my hips and curled against my ass, squeezing tightly.

Sweat beaded on my skin as I kept the pace slow, lifting my hips to circle the tip of his dick for a moment before sliding back down and rocking, the sensation of him dragging over my g-spot making me ache.

As I sped up my movements against him my breath came faster in my chest. Bass was mumbling encouragement and arching against me and I knew he wanted to go faster, harder. It was nearly impossible, but I pulled off him and slid away on the bed, laying on my stomach and crooking a finger at him.

An eagerness spread over his face and he quickly clambered up and over me, his knees pinioning my hips as he crouched low and kissed over my shoulders. I could feel his dick tapping against my ass as though he was saying hello and for a moment I smirked.

When his teeth buffed my shoulder my smirk faded and a low moan slid from my throat, my hips arching up into his, grinding against his dick. Bass let out a loud groan and wrapped an arm around my waist, hauling me up to my knees and spreading them with one of his.

I looked back at him and groaned when he began rubbing his dick over my slippery folds, the tip nudging against my clit and making me ache with need. "Bass…please," I whispered, reaching back to grip his hand where it rested on my thigh.

He nodded sharply and I saw his lips purse in concentration as he slid across my folds again before teasing at my wet entrance. "Baaaass," I whined, tilting my hips back to try and draw him in.

He let out a rough laugh before snapping his hips forward, sheathing himself in one fluid motion. I gasped at the sensation and arched against him as he continued to thrust into me, his movements rapid and steady.

Bass pulled me harder against him, his hips slapping against my ass and his fingers on my waist almost painfully tight. Yet it wasn't enough.

"More baby, more!" I demanded.

Bass pushed at my shoulders, gently encouraging me onto my forearms, my ass going higher and allowing him to slip into me deeper. "Fuuuuck," I hissed, clutching at the sheets as he pounded into me.

Each of his strokes managed to slide along my g-spot until I was whining and bucking my hips, aching for more. Bass let out a groan and one of his hands slid around my waist to rub at my clit. My thighs shuddered at the sensation building within me and I cried out loudly, a sob breaking in my chest.

Bass worked his fingers harder, rubbing my clit between his fingers until I was shaking and crying out in desperation, my hips slamming back against his wildly. Bass swore and fingered me faster until I was breaking around him, a wrecked sob slipping from me.

"Yes baby, yes!" Bass cried, his hips still snapping forward relentlessly into mine. He groaned and swore, continuing to fuck me as his fingers slipped over my soaked clit, the pleasure so acute it was painful.

I couldn't breathe it hurt so good. Fiery pleasure made my thighs tremble so hard that if Bass hadn't been holding me up I would have collapsed. I could feel my walls fluttering around him in another orgasm and let out a breathless shout as I came.

Bass's hips stuttered against mine as he cried out, and I could feel him stiffening as he came, shooting hot spurts of cum inside me. My body shuddered as Bass's fingers on my clit slowed, the residual sparks of pleasure making me tremble.

When Bass collapsed over me his long arms spread mine out, his face nuzzling into my neck as he panted breathlessly. Our fingers curled together and though we were both hot and sweaty, I hadn't felt this good in a long time.

"Fuck baby…" Bass breathed, "That was so good," he whispered with a soft chuckle. I groaned in agreement and shifted softly beneath him as he kissed my neck. As the sweat on our skin cooled and our breathing slowed, Bass rolled off me and tucked me into his chest, brushing the sweaty hair back from my face.

My eyes drifted shut and I gently spread my fingers over his chest, breathing in the scent of his skin as I fell asleep.

I carefully slid from the bed as Becca slept; her naked limbs sprawled across the bed as though she was seeking me out. I could have stayed and watched her sleep all evening, but I knew she would be hungry when she woke and I wanted to make her a special meal.

She had always taken care of Miles and I, making sure we were fed, healthy and most importantly, alive. It was incredible to think that she would be my wife and that we might have a family together.

It was everything I had wanted for so long.

Still, I worried about having a baby with Becca, especially after Shelley.

I frowned softly, my daughter would be 7 years old now if she hadn't died, and who knew how many other children Shelley and I could have had if she had made it. As I prepared dinner I decided that I would make sure we had an obstetrics doctor on hand so nothing could go wrong.

I wasn't about to let things spin out of control like they had before. I was going to make sure Becca was safe, no matter what. The idea of Becca giving us a family brought a smile to my face, a warm sensation flooding my chest.

Happiness. Contentedness. Joy.

It had been too long since I had felt this euphoric combination.

I had worried constantly about Becca, even when a distance had grown between us and I had begun to worry that she had stopped loving me. That was something she didn't know, that even if she stopped loving me, I'd never stop loving her.

She'd slid into my heart a long time ago, and she'd never let it go, even if she left me. Becca was everything to me, she brought light and joy into my life everyday and if I somehow managed to lose her it would only be because of my own fuck-ups.

Somehow after everything we had been through it was still shocking to me that she had agreed to be my wife. The last two years had been extremely rough on both of us, and instead of growing closer we had fought and argued, pushing each other away until the distance between us had seemed insurmountable.

Instead of talking to each other we had ignored each other, argued, shouted, and avoided the real issues pushing us apart. Eventually I had grown so tired of it I had suggested a vacation, someplace that it was just the two of us.

I knew that if we were trapped together without other people to interfere we would be forced to talk about our problems and finally, finally, achieve a level of intimacy we had been lacking. Now that we were here I realized how much we had needed it, how distant we had become.

Sighing, I quickly plated the rice, sautéed beef and beans, pouring out two mugs of coffee. Balancing the tray carefully, I walked up stairs, avoiding the squeaky spots, and into the bedroom where Becca slept.

Her limbs were sprawled over the bed, her fingers curled into the pillow that my head had rested on. The sheets were tugged down to her waist, revealing her toned back, the small dimples at the base of her spine aching to be touched, kissed.

Quietly I set aside the tray and ran my fingers over her spine, smiling softly when she murmured and buried her face deeper into the pillows. "Becca, baby, wake up," I whispered, my fingers pressing lightly into those soft dimples at the base of her spine.

She let out another soft noise and turned her face up out of the pillow, an eye cracking open. Half of her smile was visible as her fingers slid across the mattress and wrapped around my thigh, squeezing softly.

I smirked softly back, "Hey babe. Food," I murmured, waving towards the tray. I laughed as her eyes lit up and she rolled towards me, making grabby hands at the tray. "Pig," I teased softly, laughing and ducking back when she reached out to slap my, an amusedly disgruntled look on her face.

"Fuck you," she replied archly, reaching around me to grab a plate, her breasts flush against my chest for a long, heady moment. She grinned knowingly as she pulled away, pulling the sheet up over her chest to conceal her perfect breasts as she began to eat.

I slid into bed beside her and grabbed my plate, wrapping an arm around her shoulders to pull her close as I ate.

"This is good Bass," she murmured through a mouthful, smiling softly up at me.

"You sound surprised," I teased, my eyes crinkling in amusement.

"Hmm, you know, your cooking on the road was never that great, that's all."

I snorted and kissed her temple softly, "I think what you mean is that I could burn water without even trying," I replied softly.

She laughed and shrugged, "You said it, not me."

We ate in silence for awhile and when we had finished I took our plates and stacked them on the tray, rolling to pull her into my arms. Her nose nuzzled into my throat as her arms wound around my waist, a soft, content sigh brushing against my skin.

My fingers wound through her hair, playing with it softly.

"You know how much I love you, right?" I asked quietly.

She pulled away softly and peered up at me, frowning faintly. "Of course Sebastian. What happened over these past two years isn't because I don't love you, it's because we stopped listening to each other."

"I changed after the attack and I was scared of that. I pushed you away because I was scared I was losing my grip on who I was, and who we were as a couple. Everything had changed, and at the same time, nothing had changed. We were still us, but we weren't. I couldn't trust myself to be the woman you love, and I worried that I was tainting you with everything I was feeling."

I opened my mouth to interrupt and she shook her head, softly placing her fingers against my lips. "Uh huh baby, let me finish," she insisted.

"Everything that happened over these last two years is our fault. Instead of seeing past the fake bullshit we were talking we took everything at face value and let it fuck everything up. I don't want that ever again. We swore to have each other's backs and I don't ever plan on letting you down again."

Her face was increasingly earnest as she spoke and by the time she was done my throat was tight with emotion. When she fell silent I leaned in and kissed her softly, firmly, until we were both clutching at each other desperately.

We parted slowly, breathing unevenly.

Resting my forehead against hers I exhaled slowly, my chest tight with sentiment. "I'm sorry babe. I knew all the time that it was happening that I was fucking up, but it seemed like you wanted me away from you and I didn't want to push you. I should have known better, I should have known that I needed to fight for you. I hope you know I'll never stop fighting for you," I told her softly.

She nodded faintly and lifted a hand to trace her fingers over my cheek, her eyes warm. "I've got your back baby, always," she whispered. Her fingers traced softly over my face, a melancholy look on her face.

"What's wrong?" I whispered.

"I'm just remembering how you looked during the cholera outbreak. I don't know why, it just flooded to the surface. I don't think I've ever been that scared before, watching you, thinking you were going to die. I can't imagine what it was like for your while I was recovering," she murmured, her brow furrowed.

My gut twisted at her words. What she didn't know was that when I had been at my sickest, my heart had stopped and the doctors had revived me after three minutes. In that space between life and death I had seen so clearly what I had been missing before; Becca was my one and everything we had been working to build within the Republic would mean nothing without her.

Swallowing hard I nodded and kissed her forehead softly.

"It was absolute torture. I was so scared you were going to slip away. And then when you started to during your recovery…" I hesitated for a moment and then continued, "I worried that you didn't love me anymore."

She shook her head effusively and wrapped her fingers around my neck, her nails digging into my skin softly.

"Never baby, never. I'll always love you, no matter what," she whispered urgently.

Her arm wrapped around my waist, her fingers digging into my back softly, holding me close. Her eyes drifted shut and she tucked her head under my chin, sighing softly.

I held on tight, resisting the sensation that swam over me that she might slip away if I let go; that everything might slip away if I took my eyes off her for even a second.

I swallowed down the feeling and closed my eyes, holding her close, trying to chase away the fears that swirled within me.

Everything would be fine.