"What are Monroe's plans?"
"Where will they strike first?
"What are their tactics for battle?"
"How many soldiers do they have?"
Each unanswered question resulted in a backhanded blow to my face or gut and eventually blood streamed unabated down my chin, the copper taste choking me.
As my captors grew tired of hitting me they hauled me up out of the chair, hands still tied behind my back and shoved my head into a bucket of ice water. Shuddering at the cold prickling my skin, I held my breath, determined not to struggle and use energy that I desperately needed to stay alive.
My heart thudded in my ears and my lungs burned, begging for air.
I was going to die here.
Just as I was contemplating opening my mouth and sucking in a swallow of water and ending it all, my head was ripped out of the bucket.
My lungs sang as I gasped and sucked down air greedily.
Before I had a chance to prepare they shoved my head under the water again and I choked, expelling water from my mouth and nose. Panicking, I struggled not to inhale like my body cried out to do.
Darkness pressed in around the edges and I weakened, my body betraying me.
It had been too long.
I had fought too hard.
My lungs worked and I inhaled, my body coughing and wheezing for a moment before the darkness swelled and took me under.
Agony tore through my lungs as I was brought back, hacking and coughing, my body expelling water and hungrily replacing it with oxygen. Weakened and unable to fight back, I was tossed into a cell, the dank air making me cringe.
A half rotten mattress lay on the floor beside a rusted toilet that I didn't even want to get close to. Crawling over the floor I tugged the mattress closer to the bars of the cell door and curled up on it, shivering.
I coughed weakly, my chest aching from being given CPR and expelling the water I had nearly died on.
Day passed and my cough worsened, rattling and wheezing in my chest.
I was going to die.
November 1st 2020
Cold air whipped through the trees, a bite of snow in the air. I nudged Beda forward, urging her into a trot. William was secured against my neck in a sling, sleeping peacefully under my jacket.
We had been released a day earlier, after advanced negotiations that had resulted in the cessation of hostilities between our nations, the ceding of lands by the Republic that had been claimed by the Georgia Federation, and our release.
Tom Neville had been sent to escort us home, a position he took with obvious pleasure. Honestly though, at this point I didn't really care, I just wanted to get as far away from the Georgia Federation as possible.
Every moment we stayed close by was a moment that my child was in danger, and I wouldn't allow it.
December 1st 2020
Tom assisted me dismounting Beda, making sure William didn't get jostled or injured.
"Becca!"
"Rebecca!"
At the dual shouts of my name I spun and saw Miles and Bass running down the capitol steps panic and joy on their faces. As they approached, shouting, William began to stir, a soft cry rising in the air.
Waving a hand at the men I shook my head in annoyance and shushed them. Miles and Bass surrounded me, hurrying me up the stairs and into the building. When the large doors had shut behind us, the men instantly began peppering me with questions.
"Are you ok?"
"What happened?"
"Are you hungry? Tired?"
As we reached the room Bass and I had shared before I left I paused and lifted a hand to silence the men. "Guys, I'm okay. I'm tired and hungry, but so is my son. I'm going inside and feeding him, and when he's gone to sleep, then we can talk."
Miles grumbled for a moment and then wrapped an arm around my shoulders, pressing a kiss to my temple. "I'm glad you're back," he murmured before turning and leaving.
Bass pushed the door open and entered behind me, my bags in hand. When the door had shut he watched as I went to the couch and unwrapped William, easing my shirt up and guiding him to my breast.
As he latched on Bass made a soft noise and stepped forward, moving to sit beside me. "Does it hurt?" he asked, sounding both worried and awed.
I smiled softly at him, "It did at first, it's a lot better now. I imagine when he starts teething it won't be super comfortable."
Bass watched our son nurse until he fell asleep and I transferred him onto the bed, placing pillows all around him to keep him secure. Standing over him, watching him sleep, I smiled when Bass's arms wound around my waist and his chin rested on my shoulder.
"We'll get him a crib tomorrow," he murmured, holding me close.
I nodded and leaned deeper into Bass's embrace, weariness hitting me bone deep. Perhaps Bass could sense it because he pressed a kiss to my neck and murmured, "I'll have a bath drawn for you and order food."
God that sounded good. A close second to sleeping in my own bed, but damn good.
His arms unwound from my waist and a moment later I heard the suite door open and close. Sinking down onto the window seat I kicked off my boots and piled the pillows behind my back, covering myself with a small blanket.
Leaning my head against the windows I watched my son sleep, my own eyes growing heavy. When I woke the scent of food slammed into my gut and I groaned, eager for a well prepared hot meal.
Wincing at the crick in my neck I stood and found Bass in the bathroom, filing the tub with buckets of steaming water. A tray of food rested on the table in the den and I hurried towards it, not bothering to sit down before I began shoveling food into my mouth.
Georgia hadn't starved me per se, but I certainly hadn't gotten enough while I was nursing. Riding back to the Republic wasn't much better.
As I emptied the tray I heard a soft noise from William and hurried over, watching him for a moment as he squirmed and then stilled, a faint sigh coming from his parted rosebud lips. My heart ached at the sight of him, his eyes stormy and beautiful like his father's.
A hand landed on my shoulder and I glanced up at Bass, tears in my eyes. His brow furrowed in worry and his hand lifted to my cheek. "What is it baby? What's wrong?" he demanded softly.
Unable to speak I buried my face in his chest, the weight of the last year crashing down on me in a rush. As I wept I trembled from head to toe, anxiety and fear flooding me. It was almost too much to believe that I was home and safe.
Bass hushed me softly, one arm firm around my waist, the other hand sliding up and down my back, trying to soothe me.
I sobbed harder, feeling as though something was breaking open inside me. "I w-was s-so scaaaared!" I wailed, clutching at his shirt. "I t-t-thought I w-was going to d-die!" I cried, tears flooding down my cheeks.
My chest ached from the force of the emotions drowning me. I hiccoughed and gasped, trying to breathe normally, trying to stop crying, but I couldn't. It felt like Georgia was just on the other side of the door and at any moment I might be taken back and tortured until I broke.
Bass's arms went around me tighter, his fingers burrowing in my hair.
"My god Becca, I thought I had lost you," he murmured, his voice broken. "You're home baby, you're home," he whispered.
"You're safe."
At these words I wept harder until it felt like my body would collapse from the force of my sorrow. I could feel Bass's shoulders shudder and heard a soft broken noise come from his chest. Dimly I realized he was crying too and I clung to him tighter, trying to hold us both together with what little strength I had left.
We remained that way until my tears slowed and then stopped, my eyes aching blurry when I finally looked up at him. Bass's eyes were red, but he smiled softly and tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear.
"I love you Rebecca," he whispered, leaning in to press a kiss to my forehead.
It was that tiny gesture of love that started to heal me, more than it did to sob and wail. I shuddered in his arms and nuzzled into his neck, my nose running against his jaw, short trembling breaths panting against his skin.
"I love you too Sebastian," I told him, my heart throbbing with relief. I was home, I was safe, and I was with Bass.
I pulled away gently and wiped at my face, glancing over to where William still slept soundly. Smiling weakly I pushed a hand through my hair, "I should take a bath while he's still asleep," I told Bass.
He nodded and followed me, stripping off his clothes too. I couldn't object to his joining me, with the bathroom door open we would be able to hear if William woke, and at that moment the last thing I wanted was to be too far from Bass.
When I settled into the tub, reclining against his chest, his arms wound around me. One clamped around my waist and the other crossed over my chest, warm water rolling down his skin to mine. I shivered and slid further into the water, my eyes sliding shut as Bass held me.
There was something healing about being together, skin to skin. It was like when babies are born and they rest against the mother's bare breast, forming that first crucial bond.
I was reborn, here in Bass's arms.
Bass's arms were tight around me that night as we lay in bed together. William was in a dresser drawer on the floor, swaddled tightly and sleeping soundly. It had been a hard journey for both of us.
I stared up at the ceiling, trying to relax enough to sleep. It was overwhelming to realize I was home and safe. My mind knew I was safe, but every creak of the floorboards under a heavy boot or slamming of a door in the distance made me flinch, remembering my time in captivity.
Even taking a bath had been nerve wracking, even with Bass's arms around me, keeping me safe. All I could remember was my head being forced under the icy water until I drowned. The moment of painful resuscitation had flashed in my mind, a cold sweat breaking out on my forehead as I struggled to control my breathing.
Bass had no idea how broken I was, and I didn't know if I could ever tell him.
I wasn't the strong one anymore.
Now I needed him to hold me together, as I had done for him so many times before.
A soft whimpering noise roused me and I rolled over, limbs heavy with sleep. William's cries gained strength as I slipped out of bed and picked him up, my eyes not even open as I slid my shirt up and held him close.
A moment later his small mouth closed around my breast, his cries stifled and then silenced. Sliding back into bed I slumped against the pillows, my breathing soft as he nursed. Eventually he fell back to sleep and I pulled him gently away from my breast, holding him close as I slid into the bed.
Curling around his small body I breathed out heavily, even more exhausted. Bass rolled over, his eyes fluttering open. Lines feathered around his eyes as he smiled faintly, "Everything okay?" he whispered.
I nodded, "Just hungry," I murmured sluggishly.
He slid closer and wrapped an arm around my waist, his eyes sliding closed again. "Get some sleep baby," he whispered, his fingers squeezing on my hip.
A smile crept over my lips at his term of endearment and I nodded before my eyes slipped closed and I laid a hand on William's tiny body, the steady rise and fall of his chest reassuring.
"Will you tell me what happened?"
Bass's quiet question as we ate breakfast made me pause, my stomach turning. I swallowed my bite of bacon and lifted my gaze to him, my lips trembling. Carefully I sipped on my coffee and thought about it for a moment before sighing heavily, "I don't know if I can right now…maybe ever," I told him.
His brow furrowed and a glint of anger lit his eyes, "It was that bad?" he asked carefully, the controlled anger in his voice sending a shiver over my skin.
"It was bad enough that I don't want to talk about it right now," I told him shortly, memories of excruciating pain surging to the surface.
Setting aside the bacon I wiped my hands on the cloth napkin, carefully setting it aside as I stood, averting my eyes.
"I just…I can't talk about it right now Bass. It's too…close," I whispered.
I heard his footsteps and a moment later his boots entered my frame of vision. His hand reached out tentatively, reaching for my face. His fingers brushed against my cheek and I flinched, stiffening.
The pads of his fingers ran over my jaw softly and I could feel his eyes piercing me. "I'm sorry Becca, I'm so sorry," he whispered.
My jaw tightened as I struggled not to cry, tears flooding my eyes. My breath shuddered out of my chest, control slipping through my fingers.
"Look at me," he urged softly.
"Look at me!"
The man assigned to torture me screamed and when I didn't comply, backhanded me so hard I saw stars.
"Look at me," he hissed.
I gasped and stumbled back from Bass's touch, my stomach heaving. I ran for the bathroom, slamming the door behind me as I lunged for the bucket that was used for waste. I vomited, tears burning my eyes and acid coating my tongue.
A ringing in my ears and a swelling sensation in my stomach made my limbs shudder, weakness overcoming me.
"If you don't start talking Ms. Flynn, things are going to get much worse," a large man told me.
I choked out a laugh and spat a globule of blood, my chest aching so deeply it hurt to breathe. "I'd like to see that," I hissed.
He scowled and a breath later his boot snapped into my jaw, sending me sprawling to the floor, head ringing with agony. I barely hung onto consciousness, eyes screwed shut as I gasped and wheezed, tears rolling down my cheeks.
His foot lashed out again and stomped onto my elbow, a sharp cracking noise echoing through the cell.
My scream was high pitched and agonized, wailing and sobbing as heat filled my arm. The man crouched down and grabbed my head, grinning evilly at me.
"Do you see now?" he whispered.
My cheek was pressed against cool tile, sweat coating my skin. Shuddering uncontrollably I wrapped my arms around my waist, whimpering.
Tears rolled down my cheeks and I sobbed, every limb aching and my head pounding. God, why couldn't I just forget? Why did I have to remember in such excruciating detail?
Why was I so goddamn broken?
"She won't tell me what happened and I can't get her to talk about anything that happened," I confided to Miles, worry gnawing at my stomach.
"She was tortured, you can't exactly expect her to be the same person she was," Miles murmured in response, his heavy brow furrowed.
"I know that!" I snapped furrowing a hand through my hair. "I just, I want to make sure she's safe," I breathed, my chest aching at the thought of her being in pain.
"She'll never be truly safe," Miles told me softly, "You know that. The rebellion within the Republic grows with everyday."
I grunted, nodding. The rebellion had been a constant worry for the past year, their attacks growing in ferocity. If something happened to Becca because of the rebellion, I would hunt them and burn them to the ground.
This wasn't the United States of America anymore, it was my Republic, and I damn sure wasn't going to let anything take it, or Becca, down.
I watched as Becca paced the floor of the quarters she shared with Bass, her hands pressed tightly to the small back of her son. William slept restlessly, whimpering in his slumber. Becca's eyes were shadowed with exhaustion, deep purple marks under her eyes and lines around her mouth.
"Miles, I don't have the energy to attend a Council meeting, let alone give you advice on how to deal with the rebels. William is colicky and I haven't had more than five hours of sleep since I got back. I can barely sleep at night, and when Bass touches me all I can feel and see and hear are the men who tortured me. I'm not the person I was Miles, and I don't know how to be anymore," she explained in a rush, her words running together at the end.
Her eyes were bright with emotion and she pressed William tighter against her, clutching to him for support. Tears shone in her eyes and it ripped at my guts, making it hard for me to breathe, let alone look at her.
"Becca…" I sighed, shaking my head. She gave me a tired, plaintive look and I ran a hand over my jaw, "What do you need from me?" I asked softly.
She shook her head and sighed, her movements jerky. "I don't….I don't know what I need anymore," she whispered. "I just know that I can't help you to run the Republic right now," she murmured.
Stepping into her path I laid a hand on her shoulder and stared down into her green-hazel eyes, the depth of sorrow there making my heart ache. Becca was like a younger sister to me, and when she had been taken hostage, it had taken all of my will to keep us from war.
Bass was ready to burn the world to the ground for her, and I wasn't far behind him, but I knew that what the Republic needed was a capable leader who wouldn't rush to battle over the loss of one woman.
Even if she was my best friend.
I gathered her into my arms and held her close, my nose buried in her hair.
"Whatever you need Becca," I murmured, "I'll do whatever you need."
She sobbed softly and buried her face in my shoulder, her thin frame shuddering under my hands. It nearly broke my heart to hear her soft cries, and I choked back my own tears, my hands tightening on her shoulders.
"I've got you," I murmured roughly, "I'm here."
AN: RIGHT...so I apologize for the delay! I don't have anything else actually written after this, but I do have it planned out. So all I have to do is find the time to write :P Anywho, thank you all for reading, and please grace me with some reviews!