Three weeks passed, three weeks in which we negotiated, bartered and traded, trying to finalize the treaty.
It seemed that the pain and grief that had been plaguing me for months had only been growing worse with each passing day. It would slam into me like a knife at the oddest of times, strangling me with pain until it felt like I couldn't breathe.
Miguel oddly enough seemed to know when it was happening, and would take us out for long walks, pointing out the historical artifacts within the city, introducing me to members of the community, and in general keeping me distracted.
There were other, worse times, when I wanted nothing more than to drink myself into oblivion, to find some drug, some cure for the pain that ate me alive. It was on these nights that I drank far too much wine and fell into a black sleep, soothing the demons inside.
Last night was one such night and as I wiped the night sweat from my face I heard a knock on my bedroom door. I quickly rinsed my mouth with the mint water provided and scowled as whoever it was knocked again.
Throwing the door open I glared up at Miguel, "It's awfully early for a house call," I snapped, head throbbing. He smiled softly, eyes skimming over me and a flush rose on my chest as I realized I was still in just a tank top and underwear.
"Maybe, but I thought perhaps you might want to join me on a horseback ride out to the river. It is a hot morning already, perhaps a swim would cool us and clear our heads and hearts," he murmured.
Sweat beaded down my neck and I wiped a hand across my eyes, grimacing at the pain pounding within my skull. A swim did sound good…
Sighing, I nodded, "I don't have a suit," I murmured.
Miguel shrugged, "We'll find you something. Meet me out front in thirty minutes," he encouraged, waiting for my nod before turning and leaving me sweating in the heat.
With a faint growl I slammed the door shut and then groaned as the sound reverberated painfully through my skull. I washed off quickly in the basin of rosewater and pulled on a clean tank top and shorts, lacing up my boots and slapping on a ball cap over my braided hair.
I quickly stopped by Natasha's room to let her know I'd be heading out and that she didn't need to come. She wasn't pleased to fine I was going unescorted from the city with Miguel, but then, she also trusted that if something did happen, the Texans were smart enough to know they would be eliciting war.
I bid her farewell and slid sunglasses on as I stepped outside, muttering curses as the heat washed over me like a hot, wet blanket.
"Rebecca," Miguel called, waving at me from further down the street, holding the reins of both Beda and a black gelding with a white star on his nose. I waved back and strode over, grimacing at the sweat already beading down my neck and spine.
We mounted up and after a moment cantered out of the city, making quickly for the river. It was a short two mile ride but in the heat and humidity it felt like two hundred. As we neared the river a cool breeze blew across my skin and I shivered, humming softly in pleasure at the sensation.
We picketed the horses under a large oak tree, allowing them room to maneuver. Miguel tossed me a bundle of fabric and pointed to the tree, "I'll meet you in the water," he called before tugging on the neck of his shirt and turning away.
I went to the tree and stripped, pulling on the bikini, frowning when I saw it was turquoise with fuchsia flowers on the breasts. It was also a size too small, barely containing either my ass or my breasts.
Breathing out heavily I shook my head and carried my boots and clothes close to the river, ignoring Miguel for the moment as I slid into the water. A shiver ran over my skin and I yelped softly as the water ran over my collarbones, chilling me instantly.
Miguel grinned and swam closer his muscular arms cutting through the water until he was treading water right in front of me. "Better?" he asked teasingly, his eyes warm with amusement.
I shot him a half amused look and nodded, "I suppose so," I drawled, "It's certainly better than sitting in a conference room and sweating our asses off," I agreed.
"While true, we should use this time to relax, not discuss the treaty. We are almost finished with our negotiations, and soon you will be returning home to your Republic. We will enjoy our days in peace until then," he murmured.
After eyeing him for a moment I nodded in agreement and then ducked under water, exhaling as the cool water soaked into my hair and against my scalp. Surfacing, I kept my mouth below the water and then spat water into Miguel's face, giggling when he gasped and spluttered, giving me an indignant look.
A moment later he splashed water towards me with his large hands and so began the epic water battle of '23. When we finally called a truce I splayed out and floated in the water, grinning as Miguel floated beside me.
The sun warmed the water around us, the tension in my body slowly melting away until I was relaxed and half awake, bobbing along on a sea of contentment.
"Would you stay if you could?"
Miguel's question surprised me and I rolled over to eye him with thought, "You mean here, in Texas?" I asked softly. He nodded and I lifted a brow, "If I did that war would surely erupt between our nations. My husband is not a patient man," I told him softly.
His face was carefully blank as he asked, "Do you want to go back to him?"
As I stood taller the hot air brushed against my skin and a shiver ran through me. "Why are you asking me such a thing?" I asked softly, a knot forming in my stomach as I stared into his warm brown eyes.
He smiled wryly, "Call it curiosity," he replied quietly.
Looking into his eyes, it struck me suddenly that the emotion in his gaze wasn't that of curiosity, it was a far more intense one that left me breathless, stomach aching with nervous energy.
Swallowing hard, I brushed wet strands of hair back from my face and stepped closer to him, "I want to go back to my home, to my friends, to my nation. My husband…isn't the man he once was," I murmured, tears stinging in my eyes.
Miguel made a soft noise and a moment later his large hands were wrapping around my forearms, lifting my gaze to his. My heart pounded in my chest at the look on his face, heat flushing over my body as his thumbs stroked my wrists.
"From what I know of the man, he doesn't deserve a treasure like you," he whispered.
Inhaling sharply I shook my head and looked away, tears burning in my eyes, "Don't Miguel…just…don't," I whispered brokenly.
"Why Rebecca? What do you have to fear?" he murmured gently. "Is it me? Do I scare you?" he asked softly.
My throat clenched and I shook my head, trying to not to cry. My voice was broken as I spoke, "No Miguel, I scare me. I have so much anger and grief I'm scared I would only be using you to hurt my husband."
"What if I didn't care?" Miguel asked after a moment and I looked up at him sharply, tears tracing tracks down my cheeks. He released one of my wrists and reached out to gently wipe at the tears, "What if I wanted you and didn't care why you said yes?" he asked.
My eyes shuddered closed at his touch and I trembled against him, breath shaking out unsteadily. Opening my eyes a moment later I lifted my free hand to brush against his cheek, feeling it in my palm when he made a low noise, the sound deepening when my fingers traced through his hair.
His hand at my wrist loosened and slid around my waist, drawing me slowly against him until my breasts were pressed into his muscular chest and our hips met in a move that made my breath catch.
Miguel's fingers spread over my back, pressing me close as I wound my arm around his shoulders. Our eyes didn't leave each other as he tilted his mouth towards mine, approaching me slowly, as though I was a skittish horse that might bolt at the slightest touch.
When his mouth captured mine I stiffened at the unfamiliar touch, then relaxed as his mouth moved gently, firmly over mine. Soon heat spread through my limbs and I was leaning into the kiss, fingers curling into Miguel's hair as our tongues twined together hesitantly at first then more enthusiastically.
As we grew bolder in our touches and kisses, Miguel began kissing along my neck, the scrape of his five o clock shadow burning pleasantly against my skin, summoning a heated pleasure within me.
I panted as his hands roamed over my skin, untying the bikini top to pull off me a moment later, the warm breeze tickling at my erect nipples. Miguel cupped one of my breasts as he sucked on my neck, thumb stroking over it until it was aching with pleasure and I was mewling softly.
When his mouth closed around the nipple I groaned softly and arched into his touch, rolling my hips into his erection, gasping as he sucked and nipped at my tender skin. One of his hands slid down my waist and under the band of the bikini bottom, sinking into my heated flesh a breath later.
Whimpering at the touch I arched into his multiple touches, swept away in pleasure. His fingers slid within me to pump lazily, curling and scraping along the spot within me that left me shuddering, gasping his name.
His mouth covered my throat and breasts with kisses, his thumb stroking my clit unexpectedly, sending shivers through my body. He groaned as my walls fluttered around his fingers eagerly and his thumb continued to stroke, slowly, firmly.
I moaned and gasped, fingers digging into Miguel's shoulder and scalp as I shuddered under his touch. As he curled his fingers faster within me I trembled and moaned, chest heaving with need. I could feel the pleasure building deep within me, heat curling and pooling in my belly until I was crying out loudly, "Oh! Ah, Miguel!" I gasped.
He panted against my neck as he pressed a kiss there, walking slowly backward until the water was just at our hips. His fingers slid from within me and I whimpered at the loss of sensation. Sliding a hand between us I stroked his hard length, the heat of him practically searing even through his boxers.
Miguel moaned and his hips canted forward, a pained look on his face. I pushed on his shoulder and pointed to a boulder behind us, "Sit," I ordered and he nodded, groaning as I continued to stroke him.
He collapsed down onto the rock and held me close, my hips straddling his as I stroked him through his boxers.
"I want…"
He choked off as I pushed aside his boxers and wrapped my hand around his bare cock, squeezing at the base until he grunted and thrust into my touch.
Water lapped at our calves as I stroked him, watching as Miguel rocked back onto his elbows panting as he watched me. After a few minutes he grabbed my wrist and stilled me, his face pained, "You need to stop if you want me to be able to keep going," he panted.
He swallowed hard, "If you don't want…" he trailed off for a moment and then smiled harshly, "then keep going," he encouraged.
I stared down at him and wondered how such a sweet, kind man hand wound up desiring me. I was little more than a broken shell of a woman, ready to break her trust with her husband for a man I barely knew.
He must have seen some that on my face because he leaned up, wrapping a hand through my hair as he kissed me, his mouth gentle but desperate, as though he could give me everything I needed with that one kiss.
Perhaps he did, because when he broke away to pant for air there was an air of resignation about him before I slid forward into his lap and shifted aside my bikini bottoms, taking him in hand once more to guide him into me.
Our eyes locked as I slid down his length, whimpering and gasping at how thick he was. I panted for breath, feeling him stretch me out until he was seated fully inside me and Miguel was breathing heavily.
Slowly I rolled my hips, allowing him to stretch me as I rode him, pleasure swelling within me once more. Miguel groaned my name, his hands tight on my hips as we moved against each other, our movements growing more frantic as he began rubbing on my clit once more.
Miguel's mouth closed on my nipple as he thrust into me, sucking until I cried out brokenly, my walls slick and fluttering around him as he filled me over and over again. Miguel's fingers stroked faster on my clit and I shuddered as pleasure swelled within me.
Arching into his mouth and digging my hands into his shoulders, I cried out loudly as he thrust harder and faster into me, pleasure shredding my nerves until I stiffened and came with a broken shriek, gasping and shuddering.
Miguel cried out my name, fingers bruising my hips as he plunged into me, his fingers still stroking my clit as he came, his whole body shivering with the intensity of his orgasm.
We rocked against each other for long minutes afterwards, moaning softly as sensation became over-sensation and our limbs soon lost the strength to continue. We collapsed together in a sweaty pile and I could feel his heart thundering against mine.
Eventually I slid from beside him and back into the water, cooling my body and scrubbing the cum from between my legs without word. When I climbed from the water Miguel followed, offering me the bikini top which I refused, pulling my clothes back on.
We rode in silence back to the city, unsaddling our horses and walking together back to the capitol building. Miguel followed me to my room and laid a hand on my shoulder, pausing me before I slipped inside.
I looked at him sidelong, "Yes?"
"I'll bring you the morning after pill after dinner, okay?" he murmured.
I hesitated for a moment and then nodded. When he released me I slipped inside and shut the door behind me, exhaling sharply.
"Have a good ride?"
I glanced over at Natasha, swallowing hard against the lies rising on my tongue. Her gaze was piercing, knowing.
"Why don't we sit," I murmured, grabbing the bottle of wine as I went to the couch.
Natasha followed me and refused the glass of wine offered. I swallowed a large gulp of wine and then dove into the story, sharing all the details I thought she could handle.
When I finished Natasha reached out and took a long sip of wine from my glass. Her eyes were sad as she looked at me, shaking her head.
"He can't ever find out," she murmured.
I nodded; if Bass ever knew what had happened, he would start a war with Texas and would very likely go insane.
"We'll finish the treaty tomorrow and leave. It won't happen again," I murmured.
Nat nodded, but looked skeptical; still, she wisely kept her thoughts to herself.
It happened again. Three more times in fact.
When we had finally completed the treaty Miguel had sent word throughout Texas that we were now allies. I could still feel his hand pressed into my thigh as we parted ways, his dark eyes looking up at me sadly, "Goodbye querida," his parting words to me.
He had made sure to get me the morning after pill each time, but still, worry ate at me. If I became pregnant with another man's baby…
I shook my head, trying to dispel my fears.
I had made a terrible mistake by sleeping with Miguel, one that had put the treaty and my own personal independence at risk. I was angry and hurt, deeply so, by my son's death, but I needed my husband.
We needed each other.
March 12th 2023
Snow still lay heavily on the ground in Philadelphia as we approached Independence Hall. The Militia were formed up throughout the city, patrolling and stopping citizens before sending them on their way.
There was an air of unease as we rode, people glancing at us with looks of fear before hurrying away. As we dismounted and hurried into the building, I was greeted by a bevy of assistants with messages, paperwork, and news.
We hurried to my office where the next few hours were spent detailing the treaty and laws that would be instituted because of it. A hard rap at the door brought my head up to find Miles standing ramrod straight in the doorway, his face hard.
With a grin I stood and hurried over, stopping myself from throwing my arms around him just barely. "General, what can I do for you?" I asked with a grin.
"The President would like to see you," he murmured, stepping aside, indicating for me to leave.
Raising a brow I shook my head, "I'm sorry General, I'm busy at the moment, could you please inform the President I will see him at dinner tonight in his quarters? I look forward to seeing him," I murmured.
Miles stared down at me for a moment before grunting and grabbing my arm, hauling me out into the hallway, his dark eyes angry. "He's not asking Becca," he snapped quietly, his voice dangerous.
I smiled tightly up at him, "Neither am I Miles. I'm his wife speaking to you, not the ambassador. I'll see him tonight at dinner. I have work that is critical and will keep our nation safe. If he wishes to see me he is capable of coming to my office like anyone else."
Miles growled and shook his head, "Fine. It's on your head," he snarled before releasing me and striding away angrily.
I watched him go for a moment before heading back into my office to work. It was no more than fifteen minutes later that I heard boots striding down the hall and my heart began to race.
The office door slammed open, banging against the wall and startling my assistants. Bass glowered from the doorway, chest heaving with rage, eyes flashing like a storm. I rose from my desk and smiled pleasantly at him, "President Monroe, what can I do for you?" I murmured, knowing the polite solicitude would anger him more.
If we were going to have this out, we were going to do it in a spectacular manner.
Bass glared at my colleagues and waved a dismissive hand, "Leave," he ordered, and they scattered like flies in the wind. When the door slammed shut, leaving just the two of us, I jutted out a hip and crossed my arms over my chest, watching as his eyes flashed over my body for a moment.
"What do you need Mr. President?" I asked in a nonchalant voice.
Bass scowled, "I need you to obey when I order you to do something," he snapped.
My brows rose and my gut twisted, "You might have forgotten this since I left, but we don't order each other to do things Mr. President, we ask, we argue our point, we discuss. I may be your Ambassador, but I am also your wife, the person who has always had your back. I don't take orders from you," I snapped back, standing straighter, my hands falling to my sides to clench into fists.
Bass rumbled low in his chest and took large steps across the room until he was standing in front of me, his extra height allowing him to tower over me. His eyes flashed with anger, roiling like a storm.
"I will order you, because my wife would not have abandoned me as you did," he snarled. "You betrayed my trust, our marriage, the memory of our son," he hissed and I snapped up straighter, glaring at him.
"How dare you accuse me of betraying our son," I snarled, "I am not the one who murdered women and children in retaliation for his death. You poisoned his memory by doing so Bass, you tainted everything good about him and made it so I could only associate his passing with even more death," I told him brokenly.
Tears pooled in my eyes and I reached out to grab his jacket, shaking him, "Our son Bass, our William," I gasped, a sob breaking in my chest. "He's gone, and you murdered children just like him."
Bass's eyes filled and he shook his head rapidly, as though he was trying to shake off my words. "I had to, they had to know they couldn't get away with what they did," he whispered.
I shook him again, "Children, Bass, you murdered children. You might as well join the rebels if you think what you did was right!" I cried, shaking him.
Bass sobbed and gripped my wrists trying to shove me off, but I fought him, shoving him until he was against the wall. "Why Bass? Why?" I demanded tearfully and he broke, crying and slumping into the wall.
"I had to protect you, I had to protect Miles. You're the only family I have left. The rebels are a threat. They had to know what would happen to them if they struck at us again," he whispered hastily, words broken by his tears.
His hands lifted to wrap around the base of my skull, his broken eyes boring into mine as he cried, "You think I don't know what I've done? I am haunted by them," he whispered, his eyes growing bleak.
"Tell me I haven't lost you," he begged, "Please, Rebecca, my love, my wife, you are my everything. Please tell me I haven't lost you," he cried brokenly.
I stared at him for such a long time, contemplating his actions and my own hidden sins that he wept anew, thinking I was repudiating him. After a long moment I sighed shakily and slid my arms slowly around his waist, my eyes meeting his.
"I've done terrible things too Sebastian. I've betrayed your trust. But you haven't lost me. I'm here, I'm home," I whispered, swallowing against my tears as a look of such painful hope grew on his face that it made my heart ache.
His hands at my neck pulled, tilting my head up so he could kiss me, his mouth desperate and needy. I clung to him trying not to remember another man's kisses, touches, soft proclamations of love.
Bass peppered kisses over my cheeks, his tears dotting my skin as he cried softly. "I love you Becca, I love you," he whispered.
Swallowing around the guilt I nodded and kissed him back, "I love you too."
AN: So i came up with this chapter somewhere around the beginning of the story, so just know it's been a long time coming. I think that people are infinitely complicated and react in different ways to grief and loss, and while it makes Becca a little less likeable, i think it makes her more human. So yea, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, please review!