When the stage got set up in the cafeteria, that meant one of two things: something amazing, or something the exact opposite of amazing. The Zhar-Lloigor Day Play was, charitably phrased, the exact opposite of amazing. It starred Sucy's oldest little sisters, each dressed up in a lizard-themed onesie. Right now they were presenting a plain white cloth doll to two lumpy idols.
"Zharlloigor, we have brought you strange new meat!" said Garie, Sucy's fangly little sister who looked more like her.
"Be you two or one, may you be satiated by foreign-born flesh!" said Sabi, Garie's flatter-toothed, meatball-bun-sporting twin.
Garie and Sabi tossed the doll at the idols. Slightly hidden behind them, Sucy tugged the doll between the idols and made overly vigorous eating noises through her taped-on microphone. "This white flesh is novel to the taste," Sucy said. "They have never felt my poison in their virgin blood nor seen the Shugoran with their innocent eyes. Miri nigri, you have pleased me. Cast off your soft skin and go among them. Teach them suffering, that I, the Two or One, may be pleased more."
"Yes, Zharlloigor!" Garie said, crawling out of her onesie.
"May the living die in pain!" Sabi said, fanning herself.
Sucy climbed up between the idols. "From that day on, the Tcho-Tcho people went out among man and witch alike to spread their poison in the name of their creator. And in light of this, we announce that the appetizers and aperitifs are poisoned." She paused to take in the sound of dozens of witches spitting or puking. "Mm' mm. The main courses are not poisoned, so when you're ready, have some, why not. Sucy out." She peeled her mic off, held it out, and dropped it to no particularly unpleasant noise.
"Come on, let's find a stray dog," Garie said.
"Nuh-uh, let's find a stray cat!" Sabi said.
"Your mics are on," Sucy said.
"We want 'em all to know we're gonna kill a dog eventually," Garie said.
"No, we're gonna kill a cat right now!" Sabi said.
"You're all a shame to this family!" Mrs. Manbavaran said from the front row while having gigantic breasts. She resumed drinking from a one-and-three-quarter liter of Tanduay Silver rum.
"We try!" Sucy said.
"Sucy's family is kind of awful," Akko said, sotto voce, after throwing up her several dozen spring rolls.
"Yeah... yeah, it is," Lotte said.