Timeline for Part 5:
This one covers 11x03 and 11x04. Owen is working on a project with Callie about War Veterans and reminiscing about his life prospects; Derek has decided to stay in DC so he and Amelia are butting heads about the leadership of the department.
The Journey – Part Five
"AMELIA SHEPHERD!"
Amelia swallowed hard, startled by the voice of command. She turned around and met Owen Hunt's steel gaze fixated on her. He calmly strode in her direction with confidence and powerful authority but she could tell by his hardened jaw that he wasn't at all as calm as he wanted to look.
That was Amelia's fourth week as head of the Neurosurgery Department.
It was also the fourth time she was summoned by the Chief in that not so elegant manner.
Her first impulse was to reply what the hell is it this time?, but Amelia held the words instants before they could leave her mouth. After so much effort put into it, that filtering thing seemed to finally be working.
"Yes, chief?" She looked at the guy with forced serenity. Owen Hunt was really irritating her. Over the past week, he had alternated among treating her with cold distance, plainly ignoring her or, a few times when she least expected, paying her an encouraging compliment seconds before walking away with what seemed like contained anger.
Amelia had just recently gone back to working in a big hospital and therefore needed to adapt to many things. But if there was one thing she knew would never change over the years was how healthcare employees liked to gossip. And at Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital, it was no different. Unwillingly, Amelia had learned that the chief was grumpier than ever and people attributed that to his ex-wife's leaving.
"Please, follow me to my office."
As he said those words, Owen turned his back and didn't even look back to see if she was following his orders, as if not considering that to be possible. Amelia looked around in the UCI where she was getting an update on a patient from Maggie Pierce. A couple of people noticed the way the chief had spoken to the neurosurgeon but the minute Amelia gazed at them, they immediately looked away.
Feeling like a school kid who had just been reprimanded by the Principal, Amelia took a deep breath and lifted her chin to maintain her pride. Owen Hunt was so irritating! Her instinct was to simply stay where she was and ignore his command but she was trying really hard to be a responsible adult and therefore had to start acting like one. Ignoring a direct order from her boss wasn't a good idea. Plus, she had no clue what the guy would do if she dared to defy him like that and she wasn't exactly eager to find out.
Promising the universe that one day she would get back at him for it, Amelia walked to the chief's office, taking deep breaths to control her temper. Technically, she had no reason to be mad because all he'd done was ask her to see him in his office and he'd even said please. But being willful and stubborn, Amelia knew very well how to recognize another one of her kind. Owen was just as strong headed. The only difference was that, at the moment, he had a position of power and was her boss, which unfortunately meant she reported to him.
Amelia didn't want to admit the guy messed with her because she believed that would give him even more power. So she settled for walking into his office with a condescending attitude.
"You wanted to see me?" The neurosurgeon asked with fake meekness.
Owen had to hold his breath and force himself to calm down before looking at her. That woman was driving him crazy.
Not only was she giving him a headache at work, she was also insisting on haunting his thoughts in a very random manner. As much as Owen tried, it was hard to let go of some of the images he had created in his mind a while ago when Amelia Shepherd had had the terrible idea of talking to him about sex.
"Is it true what I just heard?" Owen asked carefully, not bothering to sit down. She was also standing and he noticed the insubordinate way she folded her arms in front of her body, as if she was bored. "Did you just perform an awake craniotomy on a two year old?" He asked, hoping to heavens she would deny it.
"Of course I did."
Owen closed his eyes and took his right hand to his temple, feeling the start of a terrible headache. He was running out of resources to keep his cool and not jump on her adorable, delicate neck, unsure of what he'd enjoy more at the moment: exploring it with his lips or strangling her.
"How can you even…?" Owen stopped mid sentence, taking his time to exhale slowly or else he'd lose it completely. "Shepherd, are you freaking kidding me? On a two year old?
Owen knew that awake craniotomies, the kind of brain surgery where surgeons kept the patient alert and responsive were usually reserved for some kind of tumors that had unclear margins. Throughout surgery, the neurosurgeon could assess more easily if they were damaging a healthy portion of the brain by testing functions like vision, body movement and language skills. The procedure was usually reserved for people who could stay calm and functioning during it.
Which was not the case with a toddler.
"Well, it worked," Amelia justified herself. "The baby had a medulloepithelioma and I had to make sure I had clean margins, otherwise the chance of recurrence would be huge!"
Owen knew that kind of tumor was very aggressive and usually affected young children. Surgery with tumor excision was the choice of treatment but it was usually done with the patient fully sedated and anaesthetized. Kids that young weren't very reliable at keeping still and following commands, meaning the surgery could have been a complete disaster if the young patient had suddenly decided to freak out.
Seeing as he was having a hard time accepting it, Amelia worked harder on making her case.
"Look, that's why I had the mom inside the OR the entire time, you see." When Owen's eyes grew wider with shock, she realized she was only making it worse. "Just listen to me," Amelia raised a hand to silence him, noticing the chief was about to interrupt her. "I put some cartoons on and had the mom there to distract the little girl. The mom was really helpful asking the kid to move and giving me feedback and I think the surgery was only this much of a success because I chose that approach," The neurosurgeon concluded, absolutely sure of what she was saying. "Now a two year old is on her way to radiotherapy with the actual chance of being cancer free and living a full life ahead of her. How awesome is that?"
Owen once again took a deep breath.
"I really hope you have amazing insurance, Shepherd, because if these parents decide to sue I will have a hard time having your back all by myself." He said with an authoritative voice but Amelia noticed he seemed actually worried for her.
"They won't sue me, they love me," Amelia replied with a jovial smile. "Look, I am not stupid, okay?" She said with encouragement. "I explained everything to the family, gave them all the options and made them sign all the paperwork. They knew about the risks and they also knew this was their child's best option to actually beat brain cancer. So, they agreed to the surgery. And it was a success," Amelia gloated a little. "You're welcome."
She realized she'd gone too far when, at the sound of her last sassy words, Owen took two steps in her direction and added with cool formality.
"If you have any interest in keeping your job, next time you think of doing something crazy like this, you will inform me." Owen then went back around his table and gazed at her from the other side of the desk. "You can go now."
Amelia thought about talking back but the actual possibility of losing her job made the neurosurgeon think twice. With Derek changing his mind about DC and staying in the city, she already had a real threat of having to hand over the department. It wasn't wise to butt heads with the chief, especially in a moment like this.
She had been doing such a good job at filtering her thoughts! Why did she have to relapse in a moment as important as that one? Knowing that the man was too irate to consider even listening to another word she had to say, Amelia settled for retreating, thinking she would most likely spend the entire day thinking of what to do next to make her situation at least a bit better.
.
Owen waited until the woman was finally gone to allow himself to sit down.
Amelia Shepherd was getting on his nerves in a way none of his other head of departments could. She had been there for barely a month and yet, had stirred up more trouble than everyone else combined.
And the biggest problem was that, even though Owen really tried, he just couldn't find a concrete reason to stay mad at her.
After weeks of being there, Amelia had turned the entire neurosurgical wing upside down. She had forced the older neurosurgeons in the department to each log another morning in the practice downstairs. At first, it had made Owen insane with the amount of complaints he'd had to endure from Nelson, Morton and the others. But after a couple of weeks, he realized what Amelia had done was actually bringing more patients into the hospital, and therefore increasing the number of surgeries in her department. So even though Owen was having to deal with very angry neurosurgery attendings, whose egos were deeply hurt, he couldn't hold it against Amelia because ultimately all she'd done was increase hospital profit, making her the newest favorite within the finance department.
Nurses complained that she stayed in the OR for much longer than her shifts, indirectly forcing them to stay until the surgeries were over too. Her commitment went beyond the walls of the operating room because whenever she wasn't operating, Amelia was organizing schedules, updating data and coming up with ideas on how to improve her department. It wasn't uncommon for Owen to arrive home and realize her car wasn't there, which was impressive enough considering he spent nearly fifteen hours a day at the hospital. Just like her optimism, her energy never seemed to end and even when he arrived at the hospital very early in the morning for a meeting or some other bureaucratic appointment, he would find her looking fresher and younger than ever, no matter what time it was.
And then there was the fact that she openly stimulated residents to compete with each other and rewarded them with surgeries and procedures. Even though in real life residency was all about competition, attendings and supervisors liked to pretend it wasn't so that, at the end of the day, they could tell themselves they were doing a good job educating and putting a hold on already very eager young doctors.
But Amelia obviously didn't care one bit about being politically correct. With her unorthodox method of teaching, she had quickly climbed to the position of favorite attending, leading the positive feedback from residents. That made it extremely difficult for Owen to point out where she was going wrong. When the young doctors did care to complain, they would usually take it out on each other, saving only compliments for the amazing Dr. Shepherd. In result, Owen now had to deal with resident feuds more often than ever, at the same time Amelia Shepherd's popularity skyrocketed.
On top of that, she was also a big success among patients. Owen had already noticed how empathetic and kind she was, but over the past weeks he'd made sure to watch her more closely, almost as if looking for fault to have something to use against her when she drove him mad, something that was happening quite often lately. Amelia was always kind and respectful with her patients and their families. Her good manners quickly added to her already good reputation, causing her to be one of the most sought after attendings by new patients who came to the hospital claiming they'd heard excellent references about the young neurosurgeon.
All in all, truth was that, even though she was turning his life upside down, she was also improving everything she dared to touch and transform. The reactions she inspired on his body were still driving Owen to the point of avoiding her presence but that didn't mean he admired her any less. It just felt like, no matter how much he tried, Owen had too much of a sharp sense of justice to deny that Amelia Shepherd was too brilliant and competent. And that made it especially difficult to give her a lecture or control her insubordination. As much as Owen would thoroughly enjoy backing her into a corner and putting some sense into her head, he struggled to admit he actually enjoyed her willfulness and strong personality.
Amelia had a shinning light inside of her, a unique kind of fire that burned as intensely and passionately as could be. And the last thing Owen wanted was to put out something so authentic and so admirable as her creativity and resourcefulness. Because no matter how crazy she drove him and how much trouble she added to his workload, if there was one thing he was sure of was that she wasn't was boring.
And right now, Owen could really use some unpredictability in his life.
.
Amelia walked around the corridor of the hospital, her head fuming with anger.
Who the hell did Derek think he was?
She should have known… The minute he'd decided to stay instead of going to DC, it was clear that she would have to put up with her brother's narcissism. Unsurprisingly, Derek was having a hard time accepting that Amelia was the new head of department and that now, he reported to her. Her brother already had a big enough ego, but having to take orders from his little sister was visibly messing with his head, which only caused more friction between the two siblings.
Amelia felt frustrated but at the same time, she didn't know what to do about it. Just minutes before, she'd walked into the cafeteria and seen Derek sharing a table with Owen Hunt. What he was trying to do was so obvious that it made her sick to her stomach. Derek and Owen weren't just work acquaintances; Amelia knew they were also friends outside the hospital. It was one thing for her to be ahead of the department when her brother wasn't there but now, after seeing the two together, Amelia realized it was far too likely that Owen would give Derek his old job back. Her brother had been in the position for over a decade and as he'd said it himself, he didn't take steps back in his career. He might not have moved forward, but he surely wasn't going to settle until he got his old position back.
Amelia knew it was unfair. For Derek, it was only a matter of ego and pride. For her, it was a one in a lifetime chance to prove herself. Derek had decided to turn down his big opportunity, it was his own fault that his career wasn't moving forward whereas the only thing she was guilty of was being the little sister to such an egocentric guy.
Before exiting the room, suddenly losing her hunger, Amelia spotted Derek casually laughing at something Owen was saying. Even though her brother seemed to be in a good mood, the chief of surgery had his usual broody façade. Amelia wondered if he was capable of smiling, for she'd rarely ever seen him have any other facial expression that didn't resemble a frown. In the first couple of times she'd been in his presence, Amelia's instinct had been to assume he was a genuinely good person. She'd made a reading out of him and imagined he was probably closed off due to a lot of hurt, but deep inside, there was probably more good than bad to him. And yet, Amelia was starting to think she might have been wrong all along. Owen Hunt was focused, serious and competent at his job and he seemed to be fairly just regarding surgical and administrative concerns. But even though she'd often catch him saying a few words of encouragement to Maggie, the other new head of department, the chief of surgery hadn't spoken to her in over a week, ever since he'd dismissed her in his office. The two year old patient had evolved remarkably well and was now on follow up for radiotherapy with a good prognosis. Owen hadn't asked her about the patient but she assumed he probably knew about the outcome.
And after seeing how close the guy was to her brother and the camaraderie between the two men, Amelia supposed it wouldn't take long before Owen Hunt called her again into his office, for the fifth and probably last time in the whole month she'd been there.
.
Owen paced back and forth outside the post op ward, trying to recover from the full day he'd just had. Over the past week, he'd been exhaustively drowning in work, doing everything in his power to gather a group of Army veterans who needed help. He'd been very excited about working alongside Callie and her new prosthetics lab, but at first, the orthopedic surgeon had rejected his idea.
Owen had felt horribly and before he could have controlled it, the intensity of the feelings he'd been avoiding for the past weeks caught up with him. He yelled at Callie and acted like an idiot, making a fool of himself and embarrassing her in front of a lot of people. When Owen finally got around to control his temper, he'd looked for her and explained what he was feeling.
As he'd gone on saying the words, Owen had started to figure out feelings he hadn't been able to understand before. Talking about it had really helped to set his mind straight. After Cristina left, a feeling of loneliness had completely overtaken him. For the first time in a long while, Owen felt hopeless. That was an awful sensation and now he knew why he avoided it with all his heart.
It was hard to admit it with words, but Owen truly feared that he might end up exactly like how he'd told Callie: As a single guy, with no wife, no kids… no family. His heart wasn't broken that Cristina had left. Owen was happy for her. She was pursuing her dreams and it was good that at least one of them could get to do it. But he felt stuck. Trapped in a place where it was hard to see light again. A familiar sensation of darkness assaulting him was more present than ever but now Owen knew better. He didn't need another woman to distract him from it. He needed someone whose light was strong enough that she could once for all extinguish that dark feeling he had consuming him.
In the exact moment he thought about it, his eyes caught a glimpse of Amelia Shepherd slowly walking through the hall. If Owen weren't so skeptical, perhaps he would have thought that seeing her there amidst the thoughts he was having wasn't a coincidence. But right at that moment, he still had no idea the woman he was staring at would one day make his life better in every possible way.
Amelia looked exhausted dragging her feet with a heavy expression on her face at the same time she held a scrub cap in her hand.
Owen didn't know why, but seeing her look so defeated bothered him very much. He'd seen Amelia Shepherd smiling, laughing and teasing several times before. That was the image Owen associated with her. The woman was always optimistic and good humored. Deep down, even though her impulsiveness and teasing remarks had driven him crazy, he really liked that she was so joyful and genuinely positive. So to see her looking so sad really got to him. Owen instantly tried to reject the feeling of protectiveness that started to assault him but before he could even realize what he was doing, he rushed to catch up with her.
"Hey," He slowed his pace to walk beside the neurosurgeon.
She didn't greet him back or give him a sermon about sneaking up on her. Instead, she settled for nodding briefly before looking ahead again. The indifferent reaction made Owen feel even more alarmed.
"You know," He hesitated, unsure of how to ask her what was going on. Maybe if he shared some of what had happened to him, she would feel inspired to talk. "I just watched Jackson Avery and Callie Torres implant a prosthetic leg on a guy again. You'd love the work he did with the nerves."
"I heard," Amelia looked sideways at him again and gave a polite nod before looking away.
Owen frowned, intrigued by her reaction. In the few times they'd discussed surgeries, Amelia had always been overly excited about procedures. She was always hovering around the OR, watching colleagues, asking questions, learning different techniques. This time around, she didn't look at all turned on with the subject.
"Do you have a minute?" He forced eye contact with her. "I'd like to see you in my office."
Amelia stopped walking and took a deep breath, trying to stay in control of her emotions.
That was it. She knew this moment was coming. Once again, her egocentric big brother had pushed her around just to prove that he could. Not long before, Derek had bullied her inside an OR, affirming that he was better than her and she wouldn't hold that leadership position for much longer. And judging by the events of that day and the way the chief of surgery was sternly looking at her, as if he felt sorry for her predicament, the neurosurgeon realized she was probably going to get fired. And the worst part was that Amelia was sure she didn't deserve it.
"I just need to check on a post op, can you give me five minutes?" She felt her bottom lip trembling and turned around before Owen could see it. Amelia hoped to buy some time so she could gather some strength and make sure she took it professionally when he finally gave her the news.
"Sure," He frowned, intrigued by her sudden leaving. "I'll wait for you in my office."
.
Owen did as told, telling himself he wasn't as anxious as he seemed to be feeling. Having randomly bumped into her had actually been convenient, because there really was a delicate subject Owen needed to discuss with her. He just didn't expect to find her looking so sad.
Or to feel so annoyingly affected by it.
At the same time Owen pondered about how he was going to notify her about the news, Amelia appeared at his door. She still looked fragile and somewhat vulnerable, but he decided to ignore it, because noticing those things made him feel emotions he wasn't prepared to acknowledge.
"Everything okay with your patient?" Owen asked with a sympathetic smile.
"Yes," Amelia replied with a dignified head nod, taking the seat in front of him he was pointing at. "It was just a aneurysm clip, no big deal."
"Good," Owen said with politeness. He liked that while she took on a lot of big cases like massive tumors and complicated procedures, she also seemed to stick to the basics on the every day routine. "I suspect you know why I called you here. You probably have heard rumors?"
"Yeah," Amelia said, gathering all her strength to proudly keep her head up. At the same time she understood Owen's decision to give her brother his old job back, probably thinking it was the best for the hospital, she was also very angry with him for the injustice of the situation.
The way they were both avoiding to acknowledge the elephant inside the room made Amelia lose her patience completely in a matter of seconds.
"You can just say it, Dr. Hunt. There's no need to feel sorry for me. I get it."
Owen frowned, wondering what the hell she was talking about. What did she get?
"That little girl you operated on last week?" Owen raised both eyebrows in question, hoping she would follow his line of thought. "The two year old?" As Amelia nodded affirmatively with her head, he proceeded. "Her grandfather was here to see me on Monday."
"Oh," Amelia replied with surprise. That wasn't the subject she was expecting them to discuss. The neurosurgeon had discharged the patient from the PICU and sent her to a wardroom, where the toddler was allowed to have visitation from her family while recovering remarkably well.
"He is one of the associates at General Eletric's Healthcare branch in the west coast," Owen confided, noticing the confusion on her neurosurgeon's face. "That's a big, billion dollar multinational company that manufactures medical equipment."
"I know what they are," Amelia replied, still oblivious to the point of that conversation.
"The thing is, the guy has way too much money and resources at his disposal," Owen explained. Amelia wondered if things were about to get ugly for the unconventional way she'd chosen to have the procedure done on the patient, and felt suddenly alarmed. "He told the family had been to four different hospitals in the past three weeks looking for a treatment plan for his granddaughter and they all rejected the idea of invasive surgery, insisting she was terminal. You were the only one willing to try to save her and give her a chance."
"Well," Amelia explained with genuine modesty. "I got the tumor out but the margins were very hard to dissect. She is going to radiotherapy and I hope it works but there are no guarantees. The tumor could still grow back."
"He knows that," Owen explained. "We talked about it and he is aware that she isn't yet fully cured. But the man feels like you, of all people, were generous and invested enough to take a shot and because of that, he gets to hold his granddaughter in his arms with hope that she might be okay instead of grieving that she will be gone soon. He told me he is feeling so optimistic that he wants to give back."
"What do you mean?" Amelia furrowed her brows, trying to make sense of what Owen was saying.
"The man donated this," Owen grabbed a check from a folder and slid it across the table in her direction. Amelia was shocked to realize the number of digits on the tiny piece of paper, "plus two brand new last generation MRI machines to the Neurosurgery Department research."
"What?" Amelia asked with disbelief, too baffled to believe it was actually true. "Are you serious?"
Owen couldn't contain a chuckle at her startled expression.
"Yes," He confirmed it, making sure she knew it was real. "According to him, more patients should have the same opportunity his granddaughter had and he wants you to use that money to help fund surgery for other kids who have the same condition but can't afford the procedure or treatment."
"Oh my God, that's…" Amelia couldn't find the words. She was deeply touched by the selfless gesture and honored for the recognition.
"Get ready for the line of patients you're about to get in the following weeks," Owen smiled with contentment, happy to see her so positively affected by the news.
Amelia was still in shock, trying to process the entire situation. What had just happened was amazing. That money could change the lives of so many families and she couldn't wait to get started. The idea of being ahead of a project like that deeply moved her. She knew too well the agony that losing a child was and therefore felt more determinate than ever to help others avoid the same fate she'd had to endure. But in order to do that, the neurosurgeon would have to be at the hospital, working day after day.
"Wait," Amelia frowned, confused. "Does this mean you're not going to fire me?"
"Fire you?" Owen was taken aback by the unexpected suggestion. He had hoped she would be thrilled with the news, not shocked or alarmed like she seemed to be.
"Yeah," Amelia looked at him accusingly. "I thought you'd called me here to tell me you're giving my job back to my brother."
Owen's deep voice mixed with a heartfelt chuckle as he expressed his surprise. How could she even have thought that he would do such a thing?
"Your brother gave up the job because he had other plans. If he changed his mind, that's on him, not on you," The chief of surgery declared. Owen had always had a good sense of justice and that time, it was no different. "If I thought you weren't living up to expectations, I might have considered it, but that's not the case," He added, pulling a tablet and showing her some statistics of his last meeting with the board and the financial department. The numbers didn't lie and Amelia took in the information with genuine surprise. "After one month, your department profit rate has increased by eight per cent and complaints have dropped by fifteen per cent. No lawsuits or settlements in the period, which is great, even though it hasn't truly been that long." Owen explained. "But the truth is, you're doing well, Shepherd. I have no reason to fire you."
Amelia looked up from the screen with the charts and her eyes met his. Owen looked happy and relaxed, almost like someone who was eagerly giving a present and waiting for a reaction. Amelia was so taken aback that she felt a bit numb. She had walked into that office expecting to be fired and yet, she'd received the amazing news of a donation to help other patients and very encouraging information on her performance in her first month as head of department.
"Did you really think I was going to fire you?" Owen asked, intrigued. He noticed how she still wasn't her usual confident and sassy self and unconsciously did his best to invoke that spirit back. "Now that I think about it, I should give you a raise," He joked. "It's the first week since you've been here that I didn't have to call you into my office to give you a lecture or threaten to take away your privileges."
Amelia smiled, feeling more comfortable after seeing he wasn't taking her confusion too seriously. Owen Hunt surprised her every day. Just when she thought he would get rid of her, after dealing with her insubordination and impulsiveness for the past weeks, he had in fact overlooked it because he'd been able to identify her brilliance and superior results beyond all of that. And Owen seemed to be the kind of guy who judged people by their best, not their worst.
"I am sorry I am so difficult sometimes," Amelia bit her bottom lip, feeling her emotions all messed up. Just earlier today, she had decided Owen was a prejudiced, annoying man who was too blind to see things through. But he had just proven that she had been the one who had rushed to assumptions. "I promise I am trying to get better."
"Just let me know next time you come up with a crazy plan like awake surgery on a child, okay?" Owen didn't try to contain the smile that was forming on his lips. The woman was crazy, completely unbalanced and impulsive.
And yet, there was something about her that inspired him. Owen was just as sure that despite being all of that, Amelia was also extremely competent, dedicated and considerate. She might not have the most traditional ways, but she genuinely worked hard to improve her department and at the end of the day, it was all he could really ask for.
"I will," Amelia replied with a smile. Slowly, Owen identified the cheerful, energetic woman in her returning. Now he understood why Amelia had acted so defeated. She had really thought he was going to fire her and only because Derek had changed his mind about going away.
Just as the neurosurgeon walked to the door, Owen lifted his head and their eyes instantly met when she turned in his direction.
"But just as a curiosity…" Amelia smiled and Owen noticed the mischief on her voice and face. "If I'd come to you and suggested the awake craniotomy for that toddler, what would you have said?"
"I would have said no," Owen replied with authority, despite his friendly expression.
"That would have cost you two MRI machines and a good couple of millions," Amelia smiled wickedly, enjoying the provocation.
"You know I can still fire you, right?" Owen smugly bent on his chair, bring forward his chest at the same time he narrowed his eyes at her impertinence. But deep down, he was more amused than he would admit.
"Yeah, but you won't," Amelia smiled, delighting him with a vision of her dimples. The neurosurgeon met his gaze one more time before finally walking out the door. "Good night, Dr. Hunt."
Owen playfully rolled his eyes, cursing the heavens for the day they'd made that utterly complex and yet fascinating woman walk into his hospital and turn everything upside down. She drove him crazy. And he had a feeling that was just the beginning.
"Night, Shepherd."