Chapter Twenty-Seven
Identity Crisis
"No. No way."
"Come on, why not?" Jordan asked.
"I'm not getting Squish a girlfriend!" Evy exclaimed.
Both of them dissolved into giggles, and Squish, sensing the conversation was about him, planted himself firmly between the two of them and patted each of them on the cheek. Evy and Jordan both scratched his belly, still laughing at him and each other. Both of them had graduated high school two weeks earlier. Jordan had been accepted to Minnesota State University, only a twenty-minute drive away from where they lived. Evy's ordeal with coach Evans had caught the attention of the local community college, where she had won a full scholarship. After some back and forth about not wanting "to be recognized for the worst thing to ever happen to me", she had decided to accept and would be starting in the spring. Evy and Jordan hadn't told anyone yet, but both of them were saving up enough money to get their own apartment together before Evy started school. Evy was nervous that Sam would say no to the plan, so she decided to wait and make sure it was feasible before bringing it up. When she and Jordan finally calmed down, and Squish was napping on top of the couch, Evy noticed that Jordan had gotten quiet.
"You okay?" she asked.
"Yeah." Jordan said, looking away from her.
"Hey." Evy said, and Jordan turned to look at her. "Don't lie to me. What's going on?"
"Luke broke up with me."
"What? Why?" Evy asked. Jordan and Luke had dated the entire senior year. "I thought he was 'the one'."
"Yeah. Me too." Jordan said. "When I said that to my mom, she told me I was too young to be thinking that way."
"Don't you hate that?" Evy said. "When you're told you're too young for something?"
"With a passion." Jordan said.
"So what happened with you and Luke?" Evy asked.
"He got accepted to Columbia. Said he doesn't want to be dating long distance when there's so many other guys he could meet there." Jordan said.
"Bitch." Evy said, crossing her arms with a huff.
Jordan laughed. "I thought you liked him."
"I did. He was cute. But not if he's gonna treat you like that." Evy said. She placed a hand on his shoulder. "It might not help, but you still got me."
Jordan smiled. "That does help. Thanks."
Jordan stayed a couple more hours, before Evy kicked him out. Sam and Dean were both gone for the weekend, giving Evy the house to herself. She loved Sam and Dean, but over the last year, they'd been even more overprotective of her than normal. She didn't know how she'd ever talked them into leaving her alone for the weekend, but she had. She relished the feeling of having some time to herself, especially since she didn't have to worry about school.
She tried to go to bed, but couldn't sleep. Nothing in particular was keeping her up, she just couldn't get to sleep. She eventually put on a load of laundry, watched another movie, and put on another load before going to sleep. She woke up the next morning and finished and folded up all the laundry. She decided to put it away as a surprise. She put her own laundry away first, then Sam's. As she put up the last of Dean's shirts in his closet something caught her eye. A box on the top shelf of his closet that she'd never seen before, labeled "Evelyn Winchester". Curious, she took it down and into the living room.
Inside were photos and papers. Evy started looking through them. She found things she was surprised Dean kept-report cards, letters from her school, pictures that she'd drawn for him. She was also surprised at how meticulous Dean had kept these mementos. They seemed to be in order of date. Evy laughed at some of the things she found. She was nearly halfway through the box when something caught her eye. A photo of herself, eight years old, with a timestamp of March 15, 2001.
How was that possible when she'd disappeared in 1999?
As Evy dug deeper into the box, more questions popped up. Two photos of herself with John, older than age six. Pictures of Evy and Sam with a girl with long, blond, curly hair. Letters written in her handwriting to Dean that she had never seen before. Birthday cards from John for her tenth, eleventh, and twelfth birthday. Report cards from Capstone High School dated from 2005. And what really took her breath away-a high school diploma from Capstone High School, awarded to Evelyn Abigail Winchester, dated 2006. There were other photos in the box, but after finding the diploma, Evy couldn't look at any more.
Evy felt numb. Had Sam and Dean been lying to her about how she ended up with them? She vaguely remembered another man showing up the day she'd landed at the bunker, telling her that he'd taken her out of her hospital bed and put her with them. Had he been lying too? But she did clearly remember her mother. She hadn't wanted to stay with Sam and Dean. She'd wanted to go home, back to what she knew, but everyone had told her it was too dangerous. Before she could think anything more about it, her phone beeped. It was a text from Sam.
Dean and I are arguing about what to get for dinner. You choose. Anything you want.
Evy thought for a minute. Did she want to confront them about this yet? The answer was yes. If she didn't, it would be bothering her all night. She decided to take the straightforward approach.
I don't care about dinner. I need to talk to you both. How far away are you?
It seemed like forever before Sam answered. She could picture him in the Impala, getting her answer and showing it to Dean, wondering what could possibly be going on with her. Neither of them were used to her being angry, especially with them. Sam eventually answered,
We'll be there in a little less than an hour. Everything okay?
I'm fine. Just get home as quick as you can, please. Evy answered.
She turned her phone all the way off, certain that Sam would try calling her next. She was angry, and wanted him to squirm and wonder what was going on. She put the photos and mementos back into the box, leaving out the diploma from Capstone. She shoved the box back into the top of the closet, not caring that she didn't put it back just the way Dean had it before. She didn't care if she got in trouble right now.
Evy took the diploma from Capstone and her own diploma and moved into the living room with them. She put both the diplomas under one of the couch cushions and sat on the other one. She crossed her legs and scratched Squish's ears. Nearly an hour later, the front door opened and in stepped Sam and Dean. Dean seemed annoyed, and Sam seemed both annoyed and worried.
"Want to tell me what that was about?" Sam asked.
"I need to ask you something. And I need you both to be honest with me." Evy said.
Evy's statement made them both stop in their tracks. "Kiddo, what's going on?" Dean asked. "Are you mad about something?"
"You could say that." Evy said. "Would you guys sit down, please?"
Sam took the recliner nearest the couch and Dean stood against the wall. "Baby, what's wrong with you?"
Evy took a breath and got it out. "I couldn't sleep last night so I caught up the laundry."
"Okay." Sam said. "Thanks, but that's not really a good reason to drop a line like that and then ignore my calls."
"I folded and put the laundry away too. And I found something in your closet when I was hanging up your work uniforms." Evy said, throwing glares at Dean.
Dean suddenly withered under Evy's glare. "Kiddo…"
"What did you find?" Sam asked.
"Anything either of you want to tell me?" Evy asked.
"Look, I don't know what's going on, but it'll go a lot quicker if you stop…." Sam said.
Evy finally gave up and pulled both her diplomas out from under the couch. No one in the room spoke. Sam and Dean looked like they'd seen a ghost. Evy was angry, angrier than she'd ever been. This, to her, was worse than being hit by the car or attacked by her coach. Sam and Dean were the two people in the world she trusted to never hurt her. Apparently she'd been wrong to think that way. Evy glowered at them and said,
"You know, I thought it was sweet at first that Dean kept everything form when I was little." Evy said. "Then I started finding stuff from 2001, 2002, and finally this. Which is weird, because how did I graduate from high school in 2006, when I supposedly disappeared in 1999?"
Sam, unable to think of anything to say to her, turned to Dean and said, "You kept everything?"
"I…I used to look at it sometimes. After she…"
"After what?" Evy asked. "After I disappeared? What? Will someone please tell me what's going on?"
"Okay, baby. We will." Sam said.
The entire story came out. How Evy had actually woken up from her surgery and they'd gone home. How they'd all lived together for another couple of years before Sam went to Stanford. How Sam had left for a year to go to Stanford before Evy eventually moved in with him and his girlfriend. How she'd lived with them for three years before joining Sam and Dean on the road as a hunter. Falling into a coma. Graduating high school at thirteen. Sam dying. Dean going to hell. Sam leaving her at Bobby's and developing an addiction to demon blood. Being attacked by a hellhound and developing a limp that lasted the rest of her life. Going to Princeton and meeting a guy that later cheated on her. Her death from a monster virus, and finally landing at the bunker almost four years later.
When Sam and Dean finally stopped talking, nearly an hour had passed. Evy hadn't said a word, and wasn't looking at either of them. Both of them were nervous. They had expected her to ask questions at some point, but she'd said nothing. Sam waited for her reaction, his stomach clenched in dread and fear. He'd known this day was coming, but that didn't mean he'd wanted it.
"Baby? You okay?" Sam asked.
Evy stood up and started walking back to her room. "I really don't know how to answer that."
"Where are you going?" Sam asked. "Look, I know you're upset, but let's talk about this."
"No." Evy said, whirling around to face him. "I'm not upset. Like I said, I don't how I feel about this right now. I'm going to Jordan's."
"What are you going to tell him?" Sam asked. "When he asks why you're so upset?"
Evy turned back to him, her anger full and certain now. "That's what your worried about? What I'm going to tell him?"
"That's not what he meant…" Dean said, trying to defuse the situation.
"That's exactly what he meant!" Evy said. "I was just going to tell him that you two have lied to me for years, but now I'm not so sure."
"What does that mean?" Sam asked.
"You don't get it, do you?" Evy asked. "When I landed at the bunker, I spent months feeling guilty because I thought you'd been left alone for years. I thought I needed to make that up to you somehow."
"You never…." Sam said.
"Don't tell me I never had to!" Evy said. "I felt like I did. And no matter how great you two were to me, for a long time living with you never felt like home. As great as it was, I wanted the you back that I knew. I didn't care about the motel rooms, living in the car, or dealing with dad, I just wanted you. Now I find out all that was for nothing."
"Kiddo, please. Let's talk about this…" Dean begged.
"We'll see." Evy said. She marched to her room, followed by Sam, Dean, and Squish.
"Kiddo, don't go. Please." Dean asked again.
"I'm leaving." Evy said firmly. She reached down and pet Squish. "Love you, buddy. I'll be back for you soon, okay?"
"Baby, please…." Sam begged.
"Just let me go." Evy said. "I'll come back, just…I need some space. Just let me go."
Something in the way Evy said she'd be back made Sam freeze. He walked to her and grabbed her shoulder. She tensed, but didn't move. She also wouldn't look him in the eye. Her mind and emotions were raging, and Sam wanted to help. But would she let him?
"Please stay." Sam begged. "Please. I don't care if you yell, scream, whatever, just please don't go."
Evy picked up her backpack and flung it on her opposite shoulder. "Let me go."
"No." Sam said firmly. "We need to talk about this."
"Let. Me. Go." Evy said again. "Or I swear to you I'll start screaming at the top of my lungs."
She's not bluffing, Sam thought, and released her.
Evy left the house and did go to Jordan's. They went down to the local park, sat on the swings, and Evy started talking. Once she started, it was hard to stop. She told Jordan everything. From the truth about monsters, to the life story Sam and Dean had told her, to landing at the bunker, being raised by Sam and Dean the first and second time, all the way to finding out the truth earlier that same day. When she finished talking, it was long past dark, and Jordan was staring at the ground.
"Say something." Evy said.
Jordan stuttered a moment before saying, "Sorry. I'm still stuck on ghosts are real."
Evy snickered. She'd been so wrapped up in feeling angry at Sam and Dean that she'd forgotten how much of shock finding out the truth would be for Jordan.
"Sorry. I forget sometimes that not everyone knows about that. So, do you think I'm crazy?" she asked.
Jordan took a long look at her. "No." he said. "I don't know why I don't think you're crazy, but I don't think you're crazy."
"Thank you." Evy said, grabbing Jordan in a hug. "I didn't plan to tell you about all that tonight, but I was so scared you'd think I was nuts."
"You are nuts." Jordan answered, and Evy laughed. "But I believe you."
"Thank you." Evy said again. She released him, wiping relieved tears from her eyes. "What do you think about everything else? Am I wrong to be ticked off at them?"
"Nope. Not even a little." Jordan said.
"Really?" Evy asked. She'd been feeling guilty about storming out on Sam and Dean earlier.
"Nope. You've got no reason to feel guilty. They lied to you. It's not like they didn't tell you you were adopted. They basically kidnapped you."
"Why do I sense a but coming?" Evy asked.
"But," Jordan said, "they did it because they love you and want to protect you. And I think you know that."
Evy sighed. She did know that. She had no doubt in her mind or heart that Sam and Dean loved her. They had both given up their hunting lives to raise her. They'd both proved themselves to her over and over. She had been mad at them before, and they'd all worked through it together. So why did it feel so different this time?
The answer came to her in a flashback. It's not fair, Sammy. I went to sleep with one family and woke up with another one. Sam had looked her right in the eye and told her he couldn't change it. He'd known how to send her back and just hadn't done it.
"Earth to Evy." Jordan was tapping Evy's shoulder. "What?"
"I said I'm starving. Do you want to go get some dinner?" he asked.
"No thanks. I'm going to make my way home." Evy said.
"You sure?" Jordan asked. "You want me to go with you?"
"No. I'm gonna be enough trouble for telling you the truth." Evy said.
"I'll go. Sit with you while you talk to them." Jordan said again.
"No. It's okay." Evy said. "Assuming I don't get in too much trouble, I'll call you later."
"Okay." Jordan said. He made a fist in the air and left it there. "Remember this?"
Evy laughed and bumped his fist lightly. "Dork."
"Geek." Jordan said.
As Jordan walked away, Evy fought within herself over the plan she had been forming. She had her cell phone in her hand, which she saw had six missed calls from Sam, two from Dean, and two from Cass. She didn't want to hurt anyone, but she was so confused and hurt that the thought of going home was unbearable. With a heavy heart, Evy laid her cell phone on the swing next to her, looked to see if anyone was around, and walked off in the opposite direction of home.
Next Chapter: Evy deals with the consequences of running away.
A/N: The next chapter will either be the next to last or second to last chapter (I haven't decided if I'm going to split Chapter 28 up into 2 chapters or not). I'm going to wrap up this storyline here and then write the ending. But don't worry, I do have some other Evy one shots planned, and like I've said before, as long as I have ideas for Evy, I'll continue to write her. Hope everyone's doing well!