"There's an old English saying I'm not sure you've heard, Akko," Lotte said, kneeling next to Akko. "It goes like this: 'a watched pot never boils.'"
"But a witched pot should be happening right now." Akko glared at the pale blobs of batter slowly cooking behind the oven door. "So hurry the hell up, cookies!"
"Not anything Japanese, Akko? I'm disappointedly startled in you," Sucy said from her bed. (For, you see, Luna Nova rented out Port-O-Ovens for students to bake He Who Is Not To Be Named Day treats for their significant others in secret, as tradition required treats to be made by hand.)
"I don't feel like pounding mochi," Akko said. "Not when I'm gonna be-"
"I get what you're putting down," Sucy said, "but I don't want to think about it very hard. So go ahead and bake your stupid little cookies like the love-feeler you are."
"Heck yeah," Akko said, fidgeting as she waited for the cookies to start tanning.
Akko glided to the leyline terminal on her broom, a sack of warm cookies in her lap, the snow on the ground gently swirling in her wake. She had never felt so very much like a witch as she did now, even if she was sticking to flying with her toes just an inch above the snow.
"Hi, Diana!" she said once Diana was in hearing range, landing with what was almost grace (and was definitely a flop onto the snow with the cookies held well above her prone body). She licked snowflakes from her lip as she used her broom to prop herself back onto her feet. "You're looking gorgeous today!"
Diana wore a fetching long black coat with matching earmuffs and boots. "You're looking just as beautiful," she said, brushing the snow from Akko's side with less speed and closer caressing than was strictly called for. Akko wore a baggy purple parka and multiple layers of sweatpants.
"I made cookies!" Akko said, holding out her bag.
"Oh, thank you!" Diana unwrapped the tie holding the bag close and helped herself to one. Her eyes lit up. "Goodness, this is..."
"Chocolate chip cookies wih some pecans Sal March sold me," Akko said, beaming. "It's super exotic, huh?"
"It's delicious, that's certain," Diana said, re-wrapping the bag. "I made you something, though it's back at my room. I'll be sure to give it to you after we get back from London."
"We're gon' to London?!" Akko said.
"We are indeed," Diana said, holding a bundle of walnuts bound with ivy, clearly an old-fashioned mana battery in the context. "For a very special He Who Is Not To Be Named Day celebration."
Akko held her breath and hoped it was something freaky.
It was, but not the kind of freaky Akko was hoping for.
The Foundation of the Feasting Hands was a little, modern building in an old part of London, quiet as a church on Tuesday. Diana handed off a check to the lady at the desk, then led Akko to a small room in the back. The room was dimly lit, save for a plain rectangular pedestal, though Akko couldn't actually see where the light illuminating it was coming from. Sitting on top of it was an old, cloudy jar filled with brackish liquid and... yep, that was an organ.
In silence, Diana knelt in front of the pillar and prayed.
Akko followed suit, entirely in the dark but wanting to help. She took the moment to pray that Diana was okay and that this was a good thing to be doing.
After a while, Diana stood, Akko too, and they left the building, wreathed in an aura of solemnity.
"Are you okay?" Diana said once they were a few blocks away.
"I... guess?" Akko said. "I just feel stupid 'cause I have no idea what we just did."
"That was Catherine Eddowes's kidney," Diana said. "One of the victims of Jack the Ripper. He mailed her kidney to the police. After a while, through some process academia is still arguing about, it became a reliquary aligned with the energies of He Who Is Not To Be Named."
"Isn't he..."
"...the god of perversion, gluttony, addiction, cannibalism, sexual disease, and love." The light at this crosswalk was taking its damn time turning. "Eddowes was a prostitute, her kidney was ravaged by disease, and the Ripper claimed to have eaten half of it. And given how brightly her reliquary glows with nurturing mana, someone cared about her very much."
"Witch church is weird." Akko said this softly, in case someone with capitalized pronouns was listening.
"Most people who aren't witches look at our gods and ask why we could worship the nightmare things stranded here when Yggdrasil withered away." Diana sighed, her breath a flower of fog. "As the power of magic faded and man became truly alone, they were our last connection to the wider universe we've lost. They're frightening and powerful... but they're lost, and alone. Like us. And when we ask for help, they listen. They love those nobody else will. That makes them worthy of prayer."
The light changed and they could get a move on at last. Akko turned the thoughts around in her head.
"That was a donation, wasn't it?" Akko said.
"Very astute," Diana said, and meant it. "They're a health and advocacy group. They do good work."
"That's a good thing to do, Diana," Akko said, putting her arm around her girlfriend's shoulder. "That was a mighty good thing to do."
Diana smiled for the first time since they'd stepped through the terminal. "Come on, let's get something tasty."
By the time they got to Luna Nova, they were well-fed, caught up on their Christmas shopping, and abundant with energy to expend. But first.
"Here," Diana said, offering Akko a primly-wrapped box. "I hope you like it."
Akko tore through the wrapping in short order and opened the box. Inside was an assortment of hand-made chocolate bars with assorted filling trickling down the open sides. Her eyes grew enormous. "Oh my God this looks so good," she said.
"I'm glad you-" Diana said before Akko grabbed one with Nutella and marshmallow spread and chomped it down in a few bites before having to chew through the resultant mess at length, crying with delight at its taste and giving Diana two thumbs up. Diana giggled.
Things progressed as they tended to progress with sufficient energy and alone-time.
Elsewhere, Hannah and Barbara had agreed to both wear a long blonde wig tonight.