Timeline for Part 23:
It sets entirely between episodes 11x22 and 11x23. After Owen comes back and finds Amelia about to have a relapse, he comforts her and talks her out of it. Amelia then asked him to stay with her. What happens next?
The Journey – Part Twenty-ThreeAmelia paced back and forth in the kitchen, trying to concentrate on the task ahead. It was nearly nine in the evening and she was mixing ingredients while looking over her shoulder every two minutes.
After Owen had agreed to stay with her, he'd walked her inside, proceeding to unceremoniously flush the bag of oxy she'd given him down the toilet. Then, after repeatedly asking her if she was okay, Owen said he'd make a quick trip to his trailer to get cleaned up and drop his bag but would be back in no time to spend the evening with her.
Amelia had quickly gone upstairs, suddenly taken by the urge to look her best after the mess she'd just made of herself. The neurosurgeon had gotten in the shower, dried her hair and put on a pair of dark leggings and a fitted long sleeve shirt. Then, she went back to the ground floor and patiently waited. And when it felt like too much time had passed already and maybe that meant Owen had changed his mind about joining her, Amelia looked at the clock and noticed it had only been thirty minutes since he'd left.
Amelia had been so deeply immersed in her grief and the turmoil of emotions that she'd barely paid attention to anything else. Now, after crying tears that had been stored for long months, she finally felt lighter and somewhat even free. Sure, she was still grieving, and probably would be for a long time. But now Amelia also felt like she could do it in a healthy way, so that the pain she'd avoided for so long wasn't going to destroy her like in previous moments.
And because she was in a better shape of mind, the neurosurgeon could shift the focus from that to more pressing matters. Owen had just come home from a long deployment and Amelia realized he was probably in need of care too. That man was so tough and so grounded that sometimes she forgot that at the end of the day, he was only human. No matter how talented Owen was at concealing his pain, it did not mean he was immune to it.
The neurosurgeon thought back about the first time she'd been alone with Owen in that house. It had been a random weekday, and he'd knocked on her door looking for her brother. Derek had been at work, just like his wife so Amelia had the house entirely to herself. And even though that wasn't the original plan, Owen had stayed with her and entertained Amelia throughout one of the best evenings she'd had in Seattle.
Back then, she'd made waffles and Owen had complimented her. He was probably hungry after a long day of traveling and Amelia doubted he'd have anything to eat at home.
Feeling particularly inspired and unusually motivated, the neurosurgeon occupied the kitchen, quickly gathering the ingredients she would need. By the time Owen finally made it back, ending her agonizing anxiety, the house smelled like fresh food, making him instantly realize just how hungry he was.
"What are you doing?" Owen asked with a large smile, surprised to find Amelia in the kitchen looking reinvigorated.
"Cooking us dinner." She returned his gaze and Owen felt his heart skip a bit. Oh, how he had missed that dimpled smile. "I figured you'd be hungry." Amelia sheepishly added, slightly blushing.
Owen took a few steps in her direction, seeing she was putting golden, crispy waffles on two separate plates. Her consideration touched him immensely. She didn't have to do anything, but it looked like she was trying to please him and the intention alone made Owen remind himself as to why he'd fallen for her in the first place.
The trauma surgeon smiled charmingly at her, communicating everything he wanted to say with his eyes. Amelia was flattered by the look of appreciation on his face.
"You know, since you have been gone for so long, I imagined you'd like some kind of homemade, traditional food."
"So you made me Belgian waffles?" Owen raised one eyebrow, clearly teasing her by the way he smirked adorably.
"No," the neurosurgeon returned his smile, feeling her heart fluttering with contentment just by having his company back. He had a point but she wasn't going to give in that easily. "They are Amelia-waffles."
"Ohh…" Owen pretended to be surprised and convinced. He leaned over, grabbed the small jar of syrup and poured some on the golden waffle before taking a bite. The way he nodded his head as his swallowed the piece showed how pleased he was. "Yeah… They are delicious." Owen gazed at her, sustaining her look. "The kind I can only find right here at home."
Amelia's smile slowly transformed as she felt his eyes heavily lingering on hers. She was deeply pleased that he seemed to really like what she'd made especially for him.
"Do you want another?" She grinned contagiously.
"Sure." Owen answered with honesty.
When they were done eating, Owen helped her with the dishes, despite Amelia's protests that he should rest after the long day he'd had. Truth was, after the storm had come and gone, she felt a little awkward to be standing so close next to him without touching.
Just an hour ago, Amelia had broken down and cried in his arms, exposing her soul. And now, they seemed to be talking like two civilized people who were unsure of how to approach a difficult subject.
"So…" Amelia finished putting the last plate back in the cabinet near the sink. "What do you want to do now?"
Owen turned his head and met her eyes. The answer was very obvious to him.
He wanted to take her upstairs, close the door behind them and kiss every bit of her body until he felt her melting in his arms moaning his name as she was assaulted by the most incredibly sensations, just like it had happened many times in the past.
But he knew Amelia was in a particularly rough time of her life and he'd never take advantage of her fragile state.
"Be with you." Owen settled for saying, watching with delight as her entire face transformed with a smile.
Amelia reached out her hand for him and Owen took it, following her to the living room in silence.
Now that she'd let her guard down and was finally allowing herself to be the woman he'd come to fall for, Owen couldn't help noticing how her eyes were once again filled with the liveliness he adored so much about her. Not for the first time, he associated Amelia's image with the one of a child, with such purity and innocence that it inspired the most primitive thoughts of protection and care in him.
But at the same time, there was nothing remotely childish about the way her clothes outlined her feminine body. As she curled up on the couch next to him, so close that he could feel her warmth, Owen felt his pulse racing. Her shapely thighs were covered but the fitting leggings left very little to imagination, especially when he could easily remember each one of her delicate curves.
There was something very domestic about the way she would relax with her back on the couch, gazing at the TV while distractedly flicking her hair. Owen could very well think they were frozen in time, redirected back to a moment when nearly a year ago, they'd spend nights just like that one, comfortably sitting beside each other while doing something as mundane as watching TV.
But of course, everything was different now. They weren't together anymore and Owen couldn't simply lean over and randomly kiss her, no matter how much he wanted to.
"Did you call your mom?"
Amelia's voice interrupted his thoughts and Owen blinked repeatedly, trying to focus on the question before shifting his attention to her.
"Hm, I went to see her before I came here." He replied, impressed that she'd bothered to worry about that. He saw the look of approval on her face and imagined if there was more to it. "Why?"
Amelia shrugged her shoulders, as if the subject embarrassed her, but decided to be honest nonetheless.
"She came to see me." The neurosurgeon confessed, watching as a frown formed on Owen's face. "She was desperate that she hadn't heard from you," Amelia explained, hoping Owen would understand. "She hadn't heard from you and she told me…" Her voice trailed off as a lump formed on her throat. Evelyn's words were replaying in Amelia's mind and all the fear she'd felt was promptly coming back to her. "She said there were gunshots fired."
Owen noticed the way Amelia bit her bottom lip at the same time she defensively wrapped her arms around legs that she was trying her best to keep her emotions in check. Without thinking, he reached out his hand and took hers, rubbing it with his thumb.
"I am sorry you had to hear that." He said with honesty. Earlier that day, when Owen had gone to see her, his mother had already expressed how terrified she'd been after spending nearly two weeks without hearing from him, especially after knowing that his camp had been under attack. He had no idea Amelia had shared her concern, and could only imagine how that must have added to her stress.
"What happened?" Amelia asked with genuine interest, looking him in the eye with fear.
Owen smiled tenderly, touched by her reaction. There he was, safe and sound, but the idea of the danger he'd gone through was still enough to make Amelia so bothered that she couldn't hide her reaction.
"It was nothing." He replied with a gentle smile, determined not to worry her.
"Owen," Amelia pleaded, getting nearer, "talk to me about it. Please." Her fingers grabbed the palm of his hand that was still touching her. "You have to talk about it too. You need to."
Owen took a deep breath and studied her gaze with interest. Amelia was genuinely concerned. He'd lived much worse than what had happened in this last tour, so he didn't feel like he was unbalanced or too traumatized. But she surely couldn't imagine that nearly being shot wasn't the worst he'd been through.
"We were celebrating Christmas one night and this hmm… This rebel group that had been joining forces against the government for a while took advantage of the distraction caused by the holidays and opened fire against our camp, even though we were only in a medical mission." He told her, watching as Amelia's eyes enlarged with alarm. She looked so adorable worrying about him that Owen wanted to smile. "It is okay, it was no big deal." He couldn't contain a chuckle and leaned over, with every intention to hold her and make her not worry too much about it. She'd had enough on her plate already.
"Wait, what?!" Amelia fired back, splaying a hand on his chest to push him away. "Are you serious?"
Owen noticed how worked up she was and frowned in confusion.
"Are you honestly telling me that while I was worried to death that you had died you were getting aimed at by terrorists and it was no big deal?" Amelia's voice lost its pitch as she stared at him with incredulity stamped all over her face. "After lecturing me on how I shouldn't hide from my pain?" She stared at him accusingly. "You could have died! You could have been shot!" She closed her fist and hit the side of his arm. "I seriously want to punch you right now for being so… so…"
Owen waited until she finished her sentence, but Amelia seemed unable to come up with an adjective that described what she was feeling, making him raise his eyebrows in a mock expectation. As anticipated, she didn't take it very well, scowling with fury.
"God, why do you have to be so frustrating?" Amelia complained, breathing in and out irregularly. "Why can't you just for once admit to how you feel?" She gazed into his eyes and asked with propriety. "You don't have to be so tough all the time, you know? You can tell me things. I can take it."
Owen's smile slowly faded as he kept staring into her eyes. She was actually mad at him because he had dismissed what she considered to be a great trauma. Owen wasn't naïve enough to think that this last tour hadn't accounted to anything traumatic for him, but he also knew that it was far from being the worst he'd been through in a war zone. If he were to be completely honest, operating on Danny Hill while the boy fought for his life had been scarier than anything else, making the gunshot noises outside seem distant and oblivious.
But Amelia sat up straight with her back erect, furiously looking at him while accusing Owen of not letting his guard down. Deep down, he knew it was true. Owen was much more comfortable taking care of the people he loved than letting them be there for him.
And very few people had ever offered to do so, anyway.
In all honesty, less than very few people had ever given Owen the chance to actually feel secure enough to let his guard down and trust them with his vulnerabilities. But only one amidst them all had given him a good enough reason to do so.
And right now she stared at him with an almost pleading look, expecting him to reciprocate her bravery and actually access his emotions.
"The night we got attacked there was this kid who got shot." Owen was surprised when he heard his own voice. He wasn't sure what reaction exactly he was expecting, but in Amelia's eyes he saw sympathy and understanding, so he felt comfortable enough to keep sharing. "He was nineteen years old."
"God…" Amelia whispered, taking his hand between hers and giving it a reassurance squeeze. "Did you know him?"
"Yeah." Owen let out a breath and distractedly looked around the room, too touched by the subject to sustain eye contact with her. "His name was Danny."
"What happened to him?" Amelia asked with interest.
"I operated on him that same night." Owen narrated the events, recalling the awful moments of tension. "Our supply room and ward area had just been completely destroyed by a bomb but he was bleeding, so I had to do something." The trauma surgeon exhaled slowly, for the first time getting in contact with the emotions he'd felt at the time. "Danny had a grade four liver laceration and I had to use a Pringle Maneuver to make sure he wouldn't bleed to death." Owen scanned his eyes from the TV back to her face. "Our supply tent had also been nearly destroyed and of course in the middle of nowhere we didn't have a blood bank. I was scared he was going to die in my hands, and all for nothing."
"Owen, I am so sorry…" Amelia got closer to him and rubbed his forearm affectionately, deeply touched. "What did you do?"
"What I could." Owen replied with honesty, letting out a heavy sigh. "After six hours and a full sternotomy to access the inferior cava so I could stop the bleeding, I was finally able to reconstruct the vessels." Owen swallowed hard and nodded his head in denial, rejecting the fear he'd felt that night. "For a moment, after I closed I thought he wasn't going to pull through…" His eyes got lost but then looked back at Amelia, finding an unknown needed comfort in her understanding gaze. "He was nineteen, Amelia… He took a bullet to warn us we were under attack. And his heroic action saved most of our lives."
Amelia identified the distress in his face and quickly supported her weight on her knees, unceremoniously wrapping her arms around Owen's neck to pull him for an embrace.
"He must be a really tough kid." Amelia said, impressed. She thought about it and slowly pulled apart, gazing at Owen with renewed admiration. The technicalities of the surgery he'd performed would make any hepatic surgeon jealous. But his impressive skill wasn't what touched her the most; it was his kind, decent heart. "I bet you made a huge difference to the many people you helped in these past months… It makes me so proud to know that."
Owen looked at her, smiling discreetly for he didn't know what to answer. Slowly, Amelia's hand traveled from the back of his neck to his shoulders, discreetly splaying on his chest.
"Did you feel alone out there?" She asked, hating herself for wanting to know the answer to her next question. "I mean, did you have anyone to keep you company?"
Owen knew by the insecurity in her body language that she didn't mean someone to talk to, or just some random co-worker. Amelia was actually asking if he had been emotionally or even physically involved with someone during the time he was gone. The realization completely threw him off his game.
"There hasn't been anyone, Amelia." He replied with honesty, looking deeply into her eyes. "No one since you."
Amelia felt shivers running down her spine and sustained the intensity of his gaze. In her heart, she felt relieved at his confession, at the same time she felt stupid for letting the monster of jealousy consume her. But Amelia couldn't help it. The thought of Owen being with anyone else annoyed her too much because she hated to think his care and his affection might have been shared with another woman who perhaps had been there for him when she couldn't be.
She noticed how Owen kept staring at her, as if waiting for her to answer the same question he'd just had.
Amelia's shaky voice confessed, failing to contain the intensity of her confession.
"You are the only one too."
Her reply numbed him, but as he realized Amelia had spoken in present tense, Owen felt something bursting inside his chest and couldn't help himself any longer. Leaning over her, this time he didn't give Amelia any room to resist. But she didn't seem to want to. Her expression showed how much she welcomed his touch when Owen held her face between his hands, looking deeply into her eyes as he gently laid her on the couch.
Amelia had just admitted that he was the only one who had occupied her thoughts and it was too much for Owen's already fragile self-control. Giving in to the urge that had been consuming him for quite a while now, he covered her lips with his, feeling his entire body igniting at the familiar and yet mind blowing contact.
Slim, feminine arms wrapped around his neck, pulling Owen closer. He lost himself in the familiar touch of her lips, deepening their kiss as Amelia's familiar scent numbed his senses. Owen couldn't begin to explain how much she'd missed that proximity, the warmth of her touch and the affection she reserved for him whenever they were together.
Reaching out for it, his hand slipped under her shirt, urging to feel her closer. Amelia shivered as his open palm slid on the curve of her waist, gently giving her a firm squeeze before finally splaying on her back. When she felt the reaction of his body pressed against her thighs, Amelia took of one of her hands to his leg, unceremoniously pulling him closer to her body in an obvious signal she was fully on board with taking things further. The neurosurgeon had already lost her breath, eager to pull off Owen's shirt when he abruptly pulled apart.
"No…Wait…"
Amelia was caught off guard and simply stared at him in confusion, watching as he stood up and kept his distance, running his fingers through his hair in obvious frustration.
"What's wrong?" She slowly sat up, trying to make sense as to why she'd been so suddenly rejected.
Owen seemed to struggle but finally made eye contact with her. In his eyes, Amelia could see he was a tortured man.
"Nothing is wrong," he whispered back at her, exhaling deeply. Owen tried to contain the intensity of his reactions at the same time he focused on keeping rational so he wouldn't lose his mind. "The problem is just how right this is…"
Amelia kept staring at him in obvious confusion. Owen seemed to pick up on that because he took a deep breath before finally sitting down next to her.
"We can't do this, Amelia." He turned his head and looked into her eyes. "Not like this."
"Why not?" She asked, hating to feel that insecure. Owen had just made her believe he'd missed her and he'd also just admitted he hadn't been with anyone else. Amelia had interpreted that as a signal he was still into her, but maybe she'd misunderstood it?
"Because you're grieving."
The neurosurgeon frowned slightly. Owen noticed that was not what she expected to hear, so he forced himself to explain.
"You've just been through an emotional rollercoaster and you're still too fragile." He reached out for her hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "You've been distant from people and from human contact for all these months and it's only normal that you're craving for some intimacy." Owen analyzed, noticing as she was following his trail of thoughts. "But, it's not going to fix anything," he affirmed with conviction before softening his expression, "and it's most definitely not going to help both of us get back on track with our lives."
"What do you mean?" Amelia asked, confused about his last statement.
"You're not sure this is what you want." Owen said with conviction. In his mind, he was pretty sure what he wanted. He had always been. Ever since they had started seeing each other, Owen had always been serious about dating her. But Amelia still had some personal things to work on before she could devote herself to a relationship and he had to respect that, for her sake and his. "And before you can work it out and figure out for sure what you want from now on, it's not fair to me or to yourself that we keep confusing ourselves like this. Sex is only going to make this even more complicated." He finalized, looking away to control his urges.
"I thought you wanted it too…" Amelia said with a broken voice, clearly thinking he'd rejected her.
Owen lost his patience completely.
"You think I don't want you?" He breathed out nervously, digging one hand through her mass of dark hair to force her to look into his eyes. Amelia was startled with his reaction, but not intimidated. She sustained his gaze as he nervously kept on staring deeply into her eyes. "You think I haven't spent every night in that goddamn hell house thinking about you? Wishing I had you?" Owen closed his eyes and sighed with frustration, unable to help himself. Pulling her closer, he fought the urge to crush her lips with his and settled for brushing them on her temple with agonizing gentleness. "Amelia, for God's sake I want it more than anything… The problem is, I don't want a one night stand with you." Owen pulled apart to once again look into his eyes. He wanted a lifetime. But to go ahead, he had to be sure she was on the same page. "A one night stand is not enough and if I can't have it all, then there is no point torturing me. Please, understand."
Amelia didn't notice she was tearing up. Owen's eyes were exhaling so much intensity that she was awed by his raw honesty. She understood exactly what he meant. Being with him for the night and then having to figure out her entire life in the morning sounded too complicated. No matter how much Owen tried to deny it or pretend it didn't matter, he was grieving too. Of course he was just as confused. And she knew he had a point.
"I am sorry." She apologized for things not being as easy as she wished them to be. "I know you deserve better than all of this."
Owen tilted his head in compassion. Amelia couldn't seriously think she wasn't worthy of him.
"So do you." He affirmed with conviction. "You deserve better than going through all of this. You deserve better than not feeling good enough." Owen kissed her forehead, hoping she believed his words. "I hope you know how much you deserve to be loved…" He confessed, thinking about the promise he'd made to Danny and not yet kept. "And maybe one day you will allow yourself to be loved."
Amelia felt a familiar constriction on her throat at the sound of his sweet words. Somehow, Owen seemed to always know where to go to touch her the deepest.
"And if that day ever comes, you have to know one thing." He used his index finger to gently tip her chin up, forcing the neurosurgeon to look into his eyes. "Whenever you're ready, I am here." Owen smiled gently, containing his overwhelming emotions. "And I will never say no to you."
Amelia felt her heart fluttering at the meaning of his words. She knew he meant he would never reject her physical advances, but that was not all to it. Owen was admitting he wouldn't reject loving her and she felt profoundly touched by his loyalty to protect both of their feelings when he could have easily given in to temptation.
Wrapping her arms around his torso, Amelia buried her face in his chest, feeling strong arms surround her in response.
"I know we shouldn't go there," her voice sounded muffled through the barrier of his shirt. "But can we please just give ourselves one night?" Amelia looked up to meet his expectant eyes. "I am not talking about sex, I am talking about you and me, just… Just staying here and going to bed without worrying about anything." Her voice faltered. "Just like old times." She smiled sheepishly, embarrassed about her proposal. "Maybe we can forget that my family is gone, or that you just came back from war or that… I don't know… That everything is a mess and we don't know what's going to happen next." Amelia listed, anxiously. "And maybe… maybe just give ourselves this night to take a break from everything?" She saw Owen's eyes sparkling after hearing her proposal. "I know in the morning all the issues are still going to be there, but maybe tonight they don't have to be here." She looked around the room, eager to spend some time with his company. There was no one else in the world Amelia would rather be with and she wanted to enjoy that evening to the fullest. "Just be here." She nearly begged, out of words to convince him further and then remembered of what he'd replied when earlier that evening she'd asked what he wanted to do "Be with me."
Owen took a deep breath and exhaled slowly at the same time he took both his hands to her face and gently cupped her cheeks.
"I'd love that." He smiled contagiously at her. Owen needed that break as much as she did and he wasted no time in letting her know it. "I haven't had a good night of sleep in months." He confessed, recalling the makeshift beds in the desert.
Amelia thought back about the past nine months in her life. She couldn't remember one night in which she'd slept peacefully. Every day, she just felt more tired. But it was like her mind just wouldn't shut down and she'd figure it was more productive to simply avoid sleep altogether than to lie awake in bed at night, staring at the ceiling while the worst thoughts ran through her head.
And then as Owen's hand joined hers and they calmly went upstairs, she figured that even if she spent the entire evening awake, it would still be an upgrade just for having his company.
.
Once in her bedroom, Owen couldn't help drawing some parallels. During the intense few weeks he had been with Amelia, they had spent nearly every night in his trailer, with the exception of the times one of them had to stay at the hospital or were engaged in something else. He'd been to Amelia's room a few times before, but they'd never been together on her bed.
The surroundings were exactly like Owen remembered, except the room looked like it hadn't been used in a while. The bed was made and everything was neatly in its place, which he knew wasn't very much like Amelia.
"You've been cleaning." He pointed out with an amused smile.
Amelia looked at him, blushing.
"Sometimes, when Richard kicked me out of the hospital for being there too long and I didn't have anything to do, I'd tidy up my bedroom."
She tried to make it sound unimportant but Owen could easily imagine Amelia engaged in an intense physical activity like heavy house cleaning just to clear her mind off disturbing thoughts.
"You must be exhausted." She commented after seconds of silence. Owen was still looking around and Amelia felt her stomach churning once her eyes saw the vacant spot on the wall where a painting had once been. She followed his gaze and realized he'd just noticed it too, but was too polite to ask anything. "I… I accidentally broke it." Amelia explained, feeling like somehow she owed him an explanation. After all, the object had been a present from him.
"It was too ugly, anyway." Owen looked at her with a forced smile but Amelia could see his eyes were slightly clouded by something that resembled sadness. She felt guilty to remember she had angrily thrown the painting on a wall during a fit of rage.
Amelia felt like she should say something but she couldn't quite figure out what. So she settled for looking at him while Owen pulled the covers to her bed. The neurosurgeon felt like an awkward atmosphere was forming so she let him do the task while going to one corner of the room looking for a comfortable shirt.
Owen had just finished arranging the pillows on the bed when he turned his head to ask Amelia if the temperature of the room was okay. But he wasn't prepared for what he found instead.
With her back turned to him, Amelia had just finished taking off her top, unintentionally exposing to him the gracious curves of her body. Owen didn't realize he held his breath at the very moment his eyes got a hold of her, or how his heart rate accelerated as he studied the familiar shape of her feminine waist.
Her skin looked as flawless as Owen remembered it to be, and he wanted more than anything to go to her, feel her warmth under his touch and bury his face on her neck, exploring every bit of her body. Her delicate round shoulders rotated in a gracious movement as she reached out for a piece of clothing inside a drawer. He hadn't meant to look, but now that he was watching her, Owen couldn't get himself to stop staring. The surgeon wondered if, even months later, being with her would still be as delightful as he remembered it to be.
And once Owen spotted the soft fabric of an old shirt swiftly hiding her tiny figure, he realized how dumb he must have been to ask himself a question to which the answer was very obvious.
Of course Amelia was as adorable as he remembered. And it physically hurt him that he couldn't have her.
Feeling frustration building up in his stomach, Owen forced himself to divert his gaze and got inside the covers, taking a deep breath to calm his racing heart. Soon after, Amelia asked if she could turn off the lights and when he nodded affirmatively in response, the neurosurgeon engulfed the room in total darkness, sneakily joining him in bed seconds after.
Owen felt the discreet movement on the opposite side of the mattress as she silently got beneath the covers. He desperately wanted to touch her, but had no idea if he should. Amelia had invited him there, but they'd made the promise not to cross any lines. And now Owen was starting to regret his decision of agreeing to spend the night there, because it felt like absolute torture to lie down next to her without touching or even speaking.
It was obvious Amelia was just as restless because she wouldn't stop moving, apparently trying to get comfortable. But only when she finally turned to face him and her voice interrupted the silence, Owen figured out she was actually struggling with something.
"I am so sorry…" She cried with a broken voice, wrapping one arm around his chest at the same time she buried her face on his neck, like a kid who was too embarrassed after being caught. Owen was just about to ask what was happening when her muffled voice explained, "I didn't accidentally break the cow… I threw it against the wall… I didn't mean to…" Her voice faltered and Amelia didn't realize she wasn't making any sense, since she had consciously done it. Owen immediately held her closer to him, wondering why she seemed so affected and upset. "I didn't want it to break and now it's completely destroyed and…"
"Shh…." Owen kissed the top of her head to interrupt her, hating to see how distressed she was. Amelia's delicate body was nearly shaking next to his and he wanted more than anything to end her suffering. But he still hadn't made complete sense of the situation and in order to know what was going on, Owen needed to find out what had really happened. "Why did you throw it? What happened?" He asked patiently.
"I was mad at you." Amelia sheepishly confessed, still unable to lift her eyes from the crook of his neck, too mortified at her childish reaction.
Owen couldn't contain a chuckle as he gently lifted his upper body, directly forcing her to bring up her eyes to meet his gaze.
"You were mad at me?" He frowned, distinguishing her eyes even in nearly total darkness. How could she be mad at him if he had just returned home that same day?
"Because I thought you'd died." Amelia hysterically admitted, hearing his fit of laughter following her irreverent confession.
Owen wrapped both his arms around her and brought her body closer to his. He just couldn't believe how amazing that woman was. Amelia was so spontaneous and honest that it completely won him over. After kissing her forehead, he explained with a gentle tone.
"I plan to live for many more years, Amelia." Owen struck her hair with one hand, while the other aimlessly played with her fingers on his chest. He wanted to add that he hoped to do it by her side, but perhaps that night wasn't the best moment to do that. "I am not leaving you anymore. I promise."
Amelia heard the comforting sound of his words, feeling her body and mind relaxing with the trustworthy words he'd spoken. It felt amazing to be in the security of his arms, because in that moment, Amelia was sure Owen would never let anything bad happen to her on his watch.
"I am so sorry I broke our painting."
Her voice was nearly a whisper, but it was the way she claimed they shared possession of the object that made Owen's heart sink in his chest.
"I'll buy you another." He stated, kissing her forehead. He would buy her the world if it meant seeing her smile again. "You can choose one that's even uglier than the first."
Amelia chuckled with lighthearted contentment, relaxing completely. She had just opened her mouth to reply, but exhaustion was winning the battle against her reason. It had been months since she had properly slept through the night. It would usually take her hours to fall asleep after going to bed.
And yet now, for some reason, being inside Owen's embrace and hearing his reassuring words worked like magic to soothe her into calmly dozing off.
The sound of Amelia's laughter was the last thing Owen focused on before the promise he'd made to Danny Hill came to mind. Owen knew that he had to keep it, because he'd given his word. And even though the sentiment was true, the trauma surgeon wasn't sure if Amelia would be prepared to hear it.
But Owen also knew that if he kept overthinking, he wouldn't get to do it, which would ultimately add more guilt and anxiety to his already restless heart. Taking a deep breath, he decided to gather up the courage and finally say it, before he missed the opportunity to do so.
"Amelia…" His voice sounded hoarse when Owen gently caressed her hair, unsuccessfully looking down in search of her face in the darkness of the room. "I love you."
He held his breath in response, startled that the lack of response from her could mean she was rejecting his confession.
But her body language didn't confirm Owen's suspicion. She was still very much relaxed, leaning against him with an arm wrapped around his chest and the side of her face comfortably lying on his shoulder inside his embrace.
Owen stretched his neck looking for eyes, and it was only when he noticed they were closed that he realized Amelia had already been sleeping when he'd spoken the words. Lying against the soft pillow, the trauma surgeon let out a heavy sigh of relief to see she hadn't freaked out like he feared she might have.
Owen still blinked a couple of times as he stared at the ceiling, thinking about how life had a funny way of doing things. He'd kept his promise, but Amelia hadn't been able to hear it. Maybe they just weren't meant to be. Maybe that one night was all he was ever going to get before they each went their own way. As much as it hurt, it was better to accept that.
But as Owen closed his eyes, finally joining Amelia in a deep sleep, he failed to see that the happy smile lingering on her face after his confession proved the complete opposite.
–
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Alright guys, so I know it took me a while to update this, so in case any of you are wondering or having a hard time figuring out the past references, here are some:
- The painting Owen buys for Amelia is a part of chapter 13.
- The first waffle scene is a part of chapter 6
- the promise Owen makes to his patient is on chapter 21