A/n: The next four chapters are going to be focused on each child with their parents. We're going to be diving into their lives a bit and getting deeper sense of inside who they are.

First up, the oldest, Greyson Beale.

This chapter may seem rough and rushed, but the next several chapters are setting up the rest of the story.

Trigger warning: Mentions of suicide and suicide attempts in this chapter.

Chapter Three: Holding On & Letting Go

"I'm holding on
Why is everything so heavy?
Holding on
So much more than I can carry
I keep dragging around what's bringing me down
If I just let go, I'd be set free
Holding on
Why is everything so heavy?" -Linkin Park ft. Kiiara

Greyson considered himself a blessed man, he had a undergraduate degree and was working on his master's. He had a good job that paid him really well with benefits. He had four parents that supported him through everything, five siblings that loved him no matter what, a godbrother that insisted that dating his sister was cool and he was getting used to that, three godsisters who looked up to him like his siblings did, and two godparents that he just found out are getting a divorce. So, his life wasn't perfect, but he still considered himself blessed that he was alive and breathing. He was currently sitting in a diner on the outskirts of Los Angeles waiting to have breakfast with his godmother. He felt really bad that he hadn't been around for the Swanson family recently and even though both the Swanson's and the Mitchell-Beale's keep reminding him that his job right now was to get the first female president of the United States of America elected, he still felt guilty.

Aubrey walked into the diner with a small smile, she loved spending one-on-one time with her godson. She and Jesse were just dating when he was born. She was the first person outside of Chloe and Tom's families who got to hold him. She fell in love with him instantly and knew that he had a bright future ahead of him. She loved him as if he were her own son, she was there when Tom had abruptly left, and cuddled with him at night. She was there when Beca came into the picture and the boy was confused about what the music producer would be in his life. The blonde was proud of the communications director, when he had grown interest in politics his freshman year of high school, she encouraged him to pursue it as a career. Aubrey was one of Greyson's biggest cheerleaders and the young man looked up to the woman in ways he couldn't even begin to describe.

When she reached the table, Greyson stood up and hugged her tightly, "Hi baby." She murmured. He held her in the hug for a moment. Aubrey didn't mind, she needed this hug more than the man needed to give it.

He pulled back and said, "Hi Aunt Aubrey. How are you?"

The two had danced around the topic of her and Jesse's divorce through text messages, the blonde knew that the man knew about the divorce because Chloe had called her and Jesse, separately, to apologize. The separated couple were super understanding and everyone agreed that Jesse and Aubrey should've told Greyson sooner, so there were no hard feelings. However, feelings were hard for Aubrey and Greyson to do together, Jesse was the one that always seemed to draw the feelings out them.

She hung her head, "I've been better." She said as they both sat down. "I know that you know that I asked your Uncle Jesse for a divorce."

Greyson nodded his head, "I do know that and I'm sorry." He said. "How are you doing with the separation?"

Aubrey shrugged as their normal waitress came and put coffee down in front of them, "I dunno," she mumbled behind her cup. "I miss him and the kids, but I know that the kids are sick of us arguing."

Greyson took a deep breath and really looked at his godmother. She looked pale and like she hadn't been eating as much as she should. He began to worry about his godmother. "How can I help you?" He asked. That was all he could do, ask the woman what he could do to help. Aubrey shrugged, she didn't want her depression to ruin a perfectly good meal. The waitress came and took their orders and when she walked away, Greyson grabbed his aunt's hand, "Aunt Aubrey..."

The woman looked up and saw the genuine concern in his eyes and she let out a sigh, "I ruined my marriage." She said. "I cheated on him." She looked down after the admission.

Greyson's eyes went wide, he never saw his godmother as one to cheat on his godfather, but he could tell that there was a deeper root to it all. He squeezed her hand in reassurance that he wasn't going anywhere. Aubrey looked up hesitantly as her godson was showing her some much love in his eyes. She knew she screwed up things amongst her family, but she was glad that she seemingly had support from the man currently doing his bet to comfort her.

The two may not do emotions very well, but they had each other and that's what made Aubrey smile the most. What the lawyer didn't know is that the communications director was to spiraling in a way that she would never want him to.

Around lunch time, Chloe was sitting in her office working when she got a text message from Greyson. It wasn't very often that she got a text from him during the day, but when she did, she immediately stopped. It usually meant his depression and suicidal thoughts were kicking in.

Greyson: I know this is weird, but I'm outside your office and I need to talk to you.

Chloe slightly smiled as she got up and opened her door and was not expecting to see what she saw. Greyson's tie was loosened from his usual strict formal fitting tie, his shirt was messily tucked in instead of the usual nicely tucked, he was wearing his glasses instead of his contacts, his eyes were red from crying, and he had a nervous lip between her teeth. Chloe gently grabbed his hand and slowly pulled him into her office, locking the door behind her.

"What's wrong baby?" Chloe asked, leading him to the couch in her office, sitting him down, and pulling him into her. He curled deep into her embrace. "Talk to Mommy." She whispered.

"I had breakfast with Aunt Aubrey this morning," he said softly. "Well, second breakfast," he amended knowing that he had breakfast with his mom that morning. "And I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around everything," he said putting his head on his mother's chest. "She cheated on Uncle Jesse." He got out. "She- she-" Greyson began to cry.

Chloe pulled her son tighter into her, "Okay, okay," she said softly, "breathe, just breathe." The headmaster led the boy through some breathing exercises before he fell heavy against her. "I know this is hard for you," she said, "but you gotta take care of yourself baby." She kissed the top of his head, remembering the day that he placed in her arms for the first time. The way that his curious blue eyes looked back up at him. The way that he snuggled into her neck when she held him against her chest. The mother's mind then went to the night he almost committed suicide his freshman year of high school. Her mind goes back to the moment where he had a handful of pills and a bottle of Jack Daniels sitting next to their pool in the backyard, Beca found him there, he was going to get drunk while swallowing pills and then fall straight into the pool. The music producer caught him in time. Chloe then came back to present day where he was a dead weight against her, trying to wrap his head around his godparents getting a divorce because his godmother cheated on his godfather. "What are you thinking about?" She asked her firstborn.

He sighed and was quite for a long while, he didn't know what to say, he figured if he told the truth then his mom would get his dad and Beca involved and he didn't want that. However, he knew if he lied that the truth would eventually come out and that's not something that he wanted, so he decided on the former, "I wanna die." He said honestly. "First Hannah breaks up with me after five years, work is stressful, and now this? I can't do this anymore." Chloe's arm wrapped tight around him, "That's why I'm here. The senator sent me to you knowing my history with mental health. I can't do this anymore, Mommy." He murmured. "I need you."

Chloe pulled her phone out of her pocket and looked at her work schedule for the day to see if she had any meetings to cancel, she didn't. She remembered that she had planned to use today to get a bulk of paperwork done. She then sent an email from her phone to the entire administration, faculty, and staff saying that she was going to be out for the rest of the day before texting Emily, Brendan, and Abby that they needed to all go home together because she had an emergency to attend to. She then turned to the boy in her arms, "How'd you get here?" She asked.

"Uber." He said. "Didn't trust myself to drive."

Chloe nodded, gratefully, "Okay baby, let's go." She said, getting up to quickly pack her work belongings to work later that night at home.

Greyson slowly got up and stood waiting for his mom, "Where are we meeting my dad and Beca?" He asked knowing the protocol that the three put in place for him when it comes to this kind of stuff.

"The studio." Chloe said closing her briefcase and sending a text message to her wife and ex-fiancé with their code word of tornado in the three of their ongoing text message for this reason.

Chloe then led Greyson out to her car, her arm wrapped tightly around him. When they got to the car, she opened the door for him and got him settled before closing the door and going to the other side and getting in the driver's seat, receiving text messages from both Beca and Tom.

Beca: I'll be waiting in my office.

Tom: On my way.

Beca: I'll let security know that the three of you are coming.

Chloe smiled because the two people in this text message knew that these two get along because of the boy sitting in her passenger's seat. She knew that when Tom came back into their lives that Beca was skeptical of it all because she didn't want Chloe and Greyson hurt. The music producer and communications director may not have the closest of relationships, but Beca loved Greyson more than she could ever show.

Chloe and Tom pulled into spaces next to each other at the same time. The man got out his car first and greeted Chloe with a hug before going to the passenger's door and opening it for his son. Greyson gets out of the car and sees that his dad is in the suit that he wore to work that day and immediately felt bad. Tom was a strategic manager for a big company in Los Angeles, he had an important job and Greyson didn't like the fact that he pulled his dad away from that. Tom pulled the younger man in for a big hug and held him tightly against him. The three went inside and passed the security that Beca had set up for the safety and privacy of her artists. They stood in the elevator, Greyson standing between his parents. As the door opened to the floor where Beca's office was, he took a deep breath.

He started getting nervous when he heard Beca's voice, "I've been saying that track is missing something all week and I needed that fixed like yesterday." She called across the office.

"We're working on it," one of the other senior producers said.

"Working on it and fixing it are two different things, Sam. Max is counting on us to get him his first grammy." Beca said coming out of her office walking to the doorway of Sam's.

"Don't worry, Bec." Sam said. "We'll figure it out, we always do."

"Okay, but I need you to listen to it again. Figure out what it's missing." Beca said. "I'd like it down by tomorrow."

"You got it, boss." Sam said.

Beca turned around to see her wife, stepson, and stepson's father standing there, "Oh, hi guys." She said. "Let's go into my office." The music producer led the three into her office and locked the door behind her after shutting it. Greyson sat on the couch and leaned against his mom. Tom and Beca sat across from them, both with concerned looks on their faces. Chloe put an arm around him and held him tight. Beca saw this gesture and knew what was going on, the boy just found out a week and a half ago from his mom that his godparents were splitting up and she knew he had a second breakfast with Aubrey this morning, so the lawyer had to tell him what had happened, right? That she cheated on Jesse for reasons that no one can begin to understand. And to top everything off, the music producer knew that his girlfriend of five years that he was planning on marrying had broken up with him because she cheated on him and got pregnant with the other man's child. This version of Greyson David Beale curled into his mother right in front of her was spiraling in a scary way. "Hey kiddo," she softly said. "Wanna tell us what's going on?"

Greyson got up because he needed space to think, he knew this question was going to be asked, but he didn't know how he was supposed to answer it. He remembers vaguely of pills and drinking next to the pool freshman year. He also vaguely remembers Beca saving him when he did fall into the pool. He was currently looking out a window seeing the skyline of Los Angeles, he had tears streaming down his face. Without turning back around he says, "I can't do this anymore." The three parents looked around at each other and before they could ask him to elaborate, he said, "I can't live in a body that fights to survive with a mind that tries to die." The three parents now looked around each other with genuine concern, "Why? Why does it have to be like this?" He rhetorically asked. "I can't do this."

Beca did something that she didn't normally do when it came to this kind of stuff, she got up and stood next to her stepson and wrapped an arm up and around his shoulders, "You remember when you came home from the psychiatric hospital freshman year and we told you that your life is worth living and that there's help out there for you?" Greyson nodded wiping the tears away with his left hand. "That's still true, kiddo." She said. "And your parents and I want to get you that help." Greyson shrugged Beca's embrace off and turned to see his mom and dad sitting there with concerned looks on their faces, he turned to his stepmother who showed an equal amount of concern. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a burst of anger came out of him, "Why now?" He yelled. "Where've you all been?"

The three parents looked around at each other before looking at the man, "What are you talking about, son?" Tom asked. "We've always been here. We didn't notice that anything was wrong."

"Yeah baby," Chloe said. "We would've intervened a lot sooner."

Greyson turned back to look out the window and he clenched his fists and released them and squared his shoulders, "I feel like I can't take much more." He said softer than he had been. "First Hannah cheats on me and gets pregnant and then breaks up with me. Then the senator tells me that she's running for president, which is cool, but stressful. Then I find out about Uncle Jesse and Aunt Aubrey splitting up from my mom. I haven't been sleeping or really eating. I just feel so sick to my stomach and all I can think about is that I just want this all to end." He started to sob, "I can't do this anymore. Everything feels so heavy? Why does everything feel so heavy?"

Beca wrapped arms around him and slid to the floor with him in her lap, she has seen him this vulnerable before, but she never felt the boldness and courage as she did in that moment. She rocked him back and forth, every once and awhile pressing a kiss to the top of his head. She looked up at Chloe and Tom with a hopeful smile because maybe things weren't okay right now, but they will eventually be alright again.

Greyson grabbed a tray with his name on it, his parents put him on a 72 hour hold in a psychiatric hospital. They even called the senator to let her know that he wouldn't be at work for the rest of the week and depending on his state getting out of the hospital, he maybe taking a few days off the following week. The senator was pleased that her communication director's parents were taking charge because in her mind he hadn't been well on a mental health level for awhile, which is why she sent him home to Chloe. He sat down with his tray and ate quietly, he didn't want to deal with any of the other patients. He drank his coffee in silence and ate about half of the food on his tray. He felt unbelievably guilty and he didn't want anything to do with this psych ward. He ate in silence, ignored the people who sat down around him. He looked at the clock and counted the hours he had been in this hell hole and realized it had been barely 24 hours. He still had 48 hours to go.

He sighed and wondered why life decided to treat him like this and what he did to deserve it.

Jesse and Aubrey came to visit him during visiting hours after they got off of work that day. Aubrey, a civil rights lawyer, who worked primarily alongside the same senator that Greyson works for and other lobbyists and Jesse, a morning radio host on a local pop radio station, were both surprised to hear about his breakdown in Beca's office.

Greyson was sitting at the same table that he ate breakfast at and looked at his godparents, who were putting on a strong united front with concerned looks on their faces, "Hey champ," Jesse said. "How're you doing?"

Greyson, who was uncharacteristically slouching in his chair, messing with a paper cup that had water in it, sarcastically snapped back, "Doing fantastic." Jesse rolled his eyes, "You asked me how I was doing in a dining hall of a psych ward, Uncle Jesse."

Aubrey reached out and touched his hand, "I'm sorry that our conversation yesterday pushed you over, I just thought you deserved the truth." She said, taking her hand back and looking down.

Greyson saw the guilt written on his godmother's face and sighed, "It's not your fault, Aunt Aubrey." He said genuinely. "I've been spiraling for awhile. I just didn't take care of myself, I promise, it's not your fault."

Aubrey looked at Jesse who was looking at his wife in concern. Sure, he was rightfully angry with her, but he still loved and cared for her. The radio host grabbed the lawyer's hand and softly caressed it with his thumb, "He's right, Bree." The man said. "It's not your fault."

Greyson looked at the handhold that his godparents were in, he visibly swallowed thinking of what he would feel when their divorce was final. He then looked at how they were looking at each other. He then took a deep breath, "I began spiraling when Hannah told me that she was pregnant with another man's child." He said making them snap their heads at him. Sure, he had told them that the two had broken up, but he never said why, "I had the ring picked out and everything, I was planning the biggest, most romantic way to propose to her. Then she told me that she had slept with her high school ex-boyfriend and I began to spiral." He roughly rubbed his face and said, "Then Senator Taylor told us that she was running for president and I initially thought, cool, distraction. And then," he sighed, "just when the campaign becomes stressful, just when I feel like everything is starting to slowly crumble, my mom tells me that my godparents are splitting up and I know everyone feels bad about that, but yesterday when I found out the reason why, I started thinking, what more could be put on my plate? And then I go to work and my god it was so hard to work that Senator Taylor sent me home to my mom. And then I end up in Beca's office with all three of my parents and I begin to wonder if any of this is worth it. Now, I'm here," he gestured to the surroundings, "sitting in a psych ward trying to get better. Trying not to lose my shit, talking with social workers about why I'm here, what led me here, and all I feel is heavy." He looks at his aunt and gently touches her hand, "It's not your fault, Aunt Aubrey. I promise. I'm going to get better, whether or not, you two stay together, I am hellbent on getting better."

Greyson was being discharged from the hospital 48 hours later and both his mom and dad were there waiting for him. Just like they were when he got out of the adolescent psychiatric hospital all those years ago. Tom wrapped a loose arm around his neck and Chloe held his hand and duffle bag. They didn't know how this all was going to unfold, but as Beca pulled up with the car and Tom helped his son get into the car, Greyson knew that it could only go up from here.

A/n: Annnd the angst has begun... I'm not going from oldest to youngest, so you'll be surprised which Mitchell-Beale is up next!