She didn't remember. I wasn't sure if I should have been horrendously offended or glad.

After she'd fallen asleep, I had left. Nothing had happened, but for two hours I lay beside her, listening to her breathe. She had felt so fragile lying there – I didn't want to move for fear of breaking her. We talked. Specifically, she talked, and I listened.

For two hours, I listened to her talk about Doctor Torres. It was okay though, because a lot of the things she'd said were negative. Her hand was warm on my stomach. Slowly, so slowly, her words became quiet and eventually they stopped. Her eyelids closed over those beautiful blue eyes.

Then I left.

Buying her a coffee the next day was probably a bad idea. Part of me was so convinced that something had changed between us. You don't just spend a night like that and let everything go back to normal. As I walked away from her the fake smile I'd plastered on my face fell away. She'd looked confused, worried, concerned. Not grateful. And Doctor Kepner, she'd raised her eyebrows… hadn't she?

"Hypothetical," I said, sliding in beside Jo in the locker room.

She jumped. "Jesus Leah, creepy much."

"Yeah, sorry – hypothetical though."

She closed her eyes for a moment and exhaled. "What?"

I inhaled and looked at the ground. "Say you turned up at someone's place and ended up putting them to bed and then the next day you buy them coffee, but they almost completely blank you."

Her eyes travelled the length of my face and body. Clearly, she was checking for any sign of a breakdown. I wasn't completely convinced that she wouldn't find any.

"Does that hypothetical come with a question?"

I nodded slowly. "Am I crazy?"

"Completely, is that relevant to the hypothetical?"

I rolled my eyes and left without another word. She called after me, but I was in no mood to talk anymore. My shift was over, so I did what any reasonable person would do. I went to Joe's, and I ordered the drink with the most alcohol in it. I blanched at the taste of it, but downed the rest of it in three mouthfuls.

"Everything alright?" he asked me.

My brow furrowed. "Yep, can I have a beer… please."

Joe sighed and placed one on the counter, popping off the cap with one, well-practised flick of his wrist. I drank half of it and then glanced around the rest of the room. The bar was both a great place to hide and a bad one. The alcohol was cheap, the bar staff familiar with us and what we must do – but that wasn't always a good thing. Everyone came here. That was the downside.

So, when Arizona walked through the door all I could think about was that very downside.

Swallowing hard, I moved away from the bar. She hadn't seen me, and I didn't want her to.

"See those people down there?" she said. "Those are the top twelve neuro surgeons in the world – and they need a drink."

Instead, I turned my attention to a guy standing at the other end of the bar. He was… okay looking. Completely passable. I offered him a smile and he tipped his drink to me, but no matter what he did, every few seconds my eyes returned to the blonde across the room.

"So, do you work around here?"

I dragged my eyes back to the green ones offering to buy me a drink. "What?"

He smiled again, and I couldn't help but notice how very straight, and white, his teeth were. Arizona had nice teeth. "Do you work around here?"

"Oh," I said. "Yeah – sort of."

Then I heard it. The sound of Doctor Torres – it sounded promising. Like whatever she was saying would upset the blonde. I was determined to be available to her.

"So, there I was, a cat in one hand and a child in the other and…"

I held my hand up. "I'm really sorry, I have to go."

I don't know if he had heard me, I hadn't stayed to find out. As smoothly as I could manage, I slipped onto the bar stool beside them. Neither of them noticed me, which I was grateful for. I turned away slightly, tilting my head toward them so I could listen.

That's when I really began to feel crazy. What the hell was I doing? What did I expect to happen? I had done this before. Become obsessed over nothing.

My eyes began to lose their focus. I stared, hard, at the green glass of my now lukewarm beer bottle. The edges of my vision became cloudy. Noise from the surrounding bar faded away until there were only my thoughts. Only images of every stupid thing I had ever done, swirling around and attacking my attention until there was nothing. Nothing except the rapidly approaching realisation that I was actually, really, truly insane.

"So… I want the rest of your crap out of my apartment."

"Calliope…"

Doctor Torres didn't stay to hear the rest of Arizona's sentence. The words died on her lips as she watched her wife stride away out of the bar.

"Are you okay?" I asked. The world came back to me in an explosion of colour and sound. I had no control over the words flowing out of my mouth. "If you don't want to go back to that hotel you can always stay at mine."

Her face twitched, like she was wrestling with multiple trains of thoughts within her head. After a moment she span round to face me and threw her hands up. "Look, okay, just tell me. What did I do? What did we do? Because clearly, something happened after the Gala and… I'm sorry…"

The realisation hit me like a train. She didn't remember, and I wasn't sure whether to be offended or glad. "Oh my God. I can't believe you don't remember."

"I was… drunk! And you're very pretty but…"

I held up my hands and her mouth clamped shut. "Nothing happened. I put you and Doctor Kepner into a taxi, but you're right – you were really drunk. So, I called to see if you were okay and you didn't answer so I got worried. I went to check – and really, it's a good idea that I did because when I got there you were practically swimming in your toilet. I got you dressed and put you into bed." I contemplated telling her that I had stayed longer than that. That I had held her for a good few hours, and listened to all the things she had to say about her wife. In the end, I decided not to – because my brain had finally caught up with my mouth.

She called me pretty. Did she mean that? What could it mean that she had noticed me? Not just noticed me as a person in her life, but noticed me as a person who was pretty. Attractive. That there was some part of her that had taken note of the fact that she liked me.

"Oh."

"Do you really not remember any of it?"

"I vaguely remember the vomit."

I gave her what I hoped was a flirty smile. "Let's go back to where you said I was pretty."

She laughed nervously and took a not small gulp from her cocktail. "That part?"

Her laugh was adorable, and I was fighting the urge to kiss her. Instead I leant closer and placed my hand on her knee. Her eyes flicked down to the place of contact and then back up to mine. The important thing to note was that she made no move to rid herself of my touch. If anything, she moved closer to me.

There were a mix of emotions on her face. Too many for me to identify. Arizona shuffled back to face the bar and my hand fell away. It took an embarrassing amount of energy to control the look of disappointment on my face. Instead, I wrapped my hand back around my almost empty beer bottle.

Then she said it.

"Oh, fuck it."

The next few moments passed in a blur. Arizona took my hand and pulled me from the bar stool. I wasn't able to control my movements, but it didn't matter, because she very professionally moved me through the crowd and towards the bathroom of Joe's bar. With her hand on the small of my back, she pushed me through the door, followed me in and locked it behind me.

"What are you…" I started to say. I didn't finish.

Arizona's lips were not gentle. They were not careful. Her teeth took my lower lip between them and pulled until it hurt. I kissed her back, not even having to think about it. Her hands moved to my waist, but the second I attempted to touch her back she brought them up and pinned my wrists to the wall.

"Don't move," she muttered against my neck.

"Okay."

"Don't speak."

I got it. This was happening, but in her mind, it wasn't happening to me. A wave of nausea washed through me. There wasn't time to dwell on it however, her hands were unbuttoning my jeans.

I moved my hands to cross behind my back and pushed my hips forward. In the end, I decided that I didn't care that it wasn't me that she was touching – because as far as I was concerned, it was happening to me. Arizona Robbins fingers were tracing the line of my underwear, and playing with the short hair beneath them.

My breath got caught in my throat when she began sucking on my pulse point. I fixed my eyes on the ceiling, sucking my lower lip into my mouth to suppress any moans. It still throbbed from where she had bitten it. I could taste where she had broken the skin.

Her hands rested on my hips again. Then, in a swirl of motion, she dug in her nails and span me round. All my effort went into not slamming my face into the wall. I didn't get long to think about it. She pressed herself into my back and bit down on the back of my neck. I wasn't able to prevent the gasp that it caused.

"Shh," she said around the bite.

Roughly, she pushed into me. I wasn't prepared for how it felt. There was pain, but also pleasure. Her nails clawed against the skin of my hips. There was no way I was walking away from the event unscarred.

The pressure built up in my stomach until my hands clenched against the wall and my eyes shut so tight I saw stars in my vision. At no point did she slow, or let up on her bite. My legs began to shake until the only thing holding my up was the arm she now wrapped around my waist.

I exploded against her hand. She stayed still while I convulsed against her. The only relief was her releasing the skin of my neck from her mouth. I panted, chest heaving and legs unable to support my weight.

She waited until I rested my head against the wall and straightened myself. Then she left. Not a word said.

I sank to the floor, jeans still undone, legs still somewhat numb and stared at the closed door of the bathroom.

What the hell just happened?