Chapter 5

"It's not my fault!" Courtney exclaimed as she paced the room.

"I mean, come on! All I did was be honest with her. Isn't that what she wanted, honesty? It's not my fault she got her feelings hurt!"

Courtney kicked an empty box across the room as she continued her one-sided argument with her invisible opponent.

"And really, where does she get off! Saying I betrayed her after everything she did to me? All I did was play the game, just like every other person who's ever played it. I mean, it's Total Drama; DRAMA being the key word! We all back-stab a little bit. Even goody-goody Leshawna tricked her entire team out of a spa day that one time. She even trash talked them behind their backs. No one had a problem with that!

". . . Granted, they did vote her off because of it, but whatever! Point is, I don't know why Gwen insists on holding this pointless grudge. I mean, I'm ready to forgive her. I'm being the adult. I'm not acting like some fragile, five-year-old- Ow!"

Courtney stumbled as she tripped over one of the boxes left on the floor.

"And what is with this mess! Can't she throw these things away? They're taking up the whole room. I mean, she already finished unpacking, if you could even call it unpacking. I feel like I'm going to lose my mind! Her stuff is cluttered all over her shelf. She's made a complete mess of the walls. Her closet looks like the dark side of the moon. The only thing on her side that looks even a bit tidy is her damn cork board, and that's because she hasn't done anything to it but put up a stupid-"

Courtney took a good look at the photo pinned to the empty board. She recognized the happy, smiling faces staring back at her. Through the haze of anger that had brewed inside of her, a bright, searing pain shown through, striking her through the chest, digging deep into her very core.

Guilt.

"My lawyers were right. I really am a total bitch." Courtney sighed as she collapsed on her bed.

"No wonder they stopped returning my calls."

Courtney sat on the bed for some time, staring up a the lone photo pinned to the wall. She thought about her time on All-Stars. She thought about Gwen. She thought about how wonderful it was to be friends with her once again; how they bonded in that short time, almost like sisters. She remembered how that sour-faced goth practically beamed with delight as the two of them worked together to win challenges. Courtney couldn't help but smile as she recalled Gwen during their time together; her sparkling eyes, her adorable laugh, her cute button nose . . . those full, pouty lips . . . her smooth, alabaster skin and round, perky-

"Oh God!" Courtney screamed at no one. "What the hell is wrong with me! Focus, Courtney, focus. No more relationships! You are committed to your career, you got it!" She finished delivering the pep-talk to herself.

"That's not to say I'm not . . . curious. It's just that between delinquent Duncan and country-boy Scott, my track record with relationships is total crap!" Courtney rationalized her feelings to the empty boxes.

"And besides, I need to focus on my law degree, become a high-priced lawyer, start my own law firm, and become one of the richest and most powerful women in Canada before I turn 30. I don't have time to waste on trivial things like . . . like . . ."

Jeez, she's been gone a long time, hasn't she?

Courtney started to get worried. She looked at her watch. 7:58, it had been over two hours and Gwen hadn't come back. It was getting dark. Did Gwen know her way around, yet?

Hell, I don't even know my way around, thought Courtney as she paced the dorm.

Maybe I should go look for her . . .

What if she doesn't come back . . .

What if she's hurt . . .

Maybe I should call the police . . .

Dammit, why didn't I chase after her . . .

This is all her fault! Why did she have to go nuts like that . . .

"Oh, who am I kidding!" she shouted. "It's all my fault. I treated my best friend like a pawn, and tried to write it off like it was nothing. I'm just as bad as Heather. Now, Gwen's probably lost in town somewhere, crying her eyes out, and I've been sitting here, whining like a fucking child! What the hell is wrong with me? Why do I ruin every relationship I-"

Suddenly, their was a sound at the door, a turn of the knob. Courtney rushed back to her bed, picked up one of her law books from off the floor, and pretended to read as the door slowly creaked open. There was Gwen, safe and sound. In one hand, she had a pizza box from one of the local chains. In the other, she had a six-pack of beer.

"Hey," said Gwen.

"Hey," Courtney replied, discarding the law-book. The two just stood there, allowing the uncomfortable silence to wash over them, until, finally, one of them spoke.

"So, maybe I overreacted a bit," said Gwen. "I shouldn't have stormed off like that."

"No, I should have been more considerate of your feelings." Courtney countered. "I shouldn't have treated our friendship like a game. It means so much more to me than that."

Courtney rose to her feet and walked towards the girl in the doorway. "The truth is, working together with you during All-Stars was the only time during that whole ridiculous series where I actually had fun, where I actually enjoyed myself, where I felt safe because . . . because I knew you had my back."

"Do . . . Do you really mean that?" Gwen asked as a slight blush appeared on her cheeks.

"I do." Courtney smiled as her heart began beating a little faster.

"Well . . . Okay then." Gwen said with a giggle.

"Okay." Courtney giggled back.

"So . . . friends?"

"Friends."

"Great." Gwen smiled that adorable smile that Courtney remembered so fondly. "Well, we still have some work to do. I'll help you finish unpacking if you help me wolf down this pizza?"

"Deal!" Courtney laughed. She was so cute when she laughed.

All right! Let's get started, roomie!