Darkness swaddled him like a shroud. This was death, as one had always imagined it.
Time marched on from here, indefinitely. But he would never be going forward again.
Neither forward nor backwards, up nor down. He was floating, but not. Gyrating, spinning out of all control. Disoriented, so that he knew not even from whence he came.
And yet, he did. This was, after all, his dream. And of course, he knew what came next.
A voice called out to him and he struggled to answer back. The gentle feminine voice so soothing and familiar. But he could still not figure out if it was familiar to him back then, or now in his remembrance. Names of old girlfriends rolled off his parched tongue like dice, but luck was never his strong suit. The words echoed back to him were maternal and placating, but lost in translation. He knew, now, what they had said, but in this forced memory they were as impenetrable as the blackness.
He knew the hands that glossed over him, as he lay there in that nothingness. Direction only returning to weigh him down. He couldn't feel them, per se, but knew they were there by the intrusiveness which tickled his bones under the surface, like an electric shock which passed beneath the skin. He was numb, he realized detachedly, and not only physically.
In the moments before, he remembered he had made a decision. One of critical importance. One which necessarily removed empathy from the equation. Such was necessary. He had told himself. He would continue to tell himself. It was the right decision. But just as he relived this memory every night, he would continue to second guess himself over and over.
The soothing voice left him with a placating phrase, the hands along with it, taking with them the only connection he had to reality outside of the blackness. He begged them to stay, but already knew that they wouldn't be able to understand him, just as he could not understand them. They were worlds apart, the veil never to be broken. And so, once again, he was alone, with only his own voice to keep him company.
"So… this is the way the world ends, huh? Not with a bang, but a whimper."
In truth, there had been a bang. An earth-shattering explosion and an all-encompassing, blinding flash of light before darkness and silence swallowed him. If this was not the end, he was grateful at least that he would likely never see the real thing.
"Don't be so dramatic."
Words that at last he could understand. They were as much an anchor as the ground in that hollow world. He heard the muffled sounds of bootsteps pad their way over to him, felt his ears pop as the sonic landscape became sharper. The feet stopped by his head, now that he was aware he still had one. The voice spoke to him again, and he called out to the face of that disembodied specter he knew he would never see again.
"Ferdinand," he tried to swallow, his throat parched and words lost on stiff lips that wouldn't bend to his whim. "What…" He couldn't even finish the question, but the memory answered anyway.
"Take it easy. Don't try too hard to remember." His faceless friend intoned in a strained voice that said he too was not without damage. "We got separated. Early on. They swarmed all over us, and you… we thought we lost you."
"Well, looks like you found me." He tried to say, but it came out a garbled mess. Still, his friend chuckled. Though whether it was from what he said, or because of how pathetic he now looked, he would never know.
"Here."
He couldn't feel the plastic rim of the canteen placed against his lips, and so choked initially on the first cascade of lukewarm water that made it into his mouth. He sputtered and the waterfall backed off. He swallowed what had made it though, and when he found his breath again the liquid came back and he was prepared for it.
"There was an explosion. A bomb, we think." The voice of his friend continued as he painfully swallowed the trickle moving down his throat. It prevented him from asking the obvious. "We saw it. The bomb, I mean. From the moment the bomber dropped it, we saw Its trajectory, saw it detonate." The flow of water stopped, and he could feel the shaking of the man's head as he stood back up, took his own swig from the canteen.
"But that explosion…."
He knew. He was there.
He remembered staring into the blank abyss, the blast like a tidal wave of light rushing over him. The searing heat which almost instantaneously became frostbite, then nothing. He was there at ground zero. It was only appropriate, after all. He was the one who caused it. The one that gave the go-ahead which had sealed all of their fates.
But how was he to know what would happen? Nothing that day had gone the way anyone had expected. Not even a way that any normal person could have imagined. The bomb was just another chalk mark on the board totaling their incompetence. It was supposed to be a conventional, albeit exceptionally powerful explosive. But what had resulted was unlike anything he had ever witnessed before, outside of old film reels taken from the Cold War.
"Anyway," His friend sighed, and he sensed that he was looking off into the distant landscape, whatever there was left. "I suppose that all is well that ends well. We're alive, some others. And considering, I guess we should count ourselves lucky."
But how? How was any of this supposed to be good fortune? This was not the glorious battle to the death that he envisioned their commander seeking when he had them jump out of their aircraft. This had been a catastrophe only reconciled with a total annihilation. And for what? Their own losses had been great, but for that sacrifice, had they saved any more than would have been spared otherwise? Had they in fact, made it worse?
Even as the low rumble of helicopter blades, hundreds of them, swarmed on the edge of his comprehension, he could not imagine a better outcome. And yet, those muffled thrums sounded to him like kingdom come, and he could find no satisfaction in the life he had escaped with. Their victory, and his, were now undeniable. But what was victory?
For what of the young man he had knowingly obliterated? What of that innocuous blond youth who had been fighting so desperately against a preternaturally malignant force? He had given the order to the aircraft pilot only in the moment of greatest desperation, when it seemed he had lost and there was no other choice. But wasn't the look in his eyes proof of that other choice? Had he not seen a sign that benevolence could confront that sort of insurmountable evil? Who was he, to doubt that?
He had never been a dreamer. Nor a hero. He held his values like cards, playing them cautiously and never showing his true hand. But in a moment of the highest stakes he had gambled everything, including what was not his to wager. The end of the day might see him a winner. But he hadn't cashed in. He was still alive, still playing the game, soon to be dealt another hand.
"Well, looks like the cavalry has finally arrived." His friend sounded just as weary as he did, taking no relief in the words he spoke even as he tried to imagine the scene playing out in his head, Ride of the Valkyries underscoring the triumphant arrival of their salvation. Life would go on, and there would only be new problems on the horizon. Every day would be an uncharted struggle from now on.
He was still numb, but felt the weight of the hand patting his shoulder solidly.
"Rest easy, Michele. Looks like we're going home."
It was surreal being here in this valley, so close to home. Ever since the discovery of the Elemental Nations had redrawn the map of the area, there continued to be a lingering doubt as to the veracity of any such charts. Lines and borders had become mere suggestions, and there was always that niggling feeling that there was something more beyond what was depicted on that lined and gridded sheet. Like those antique sailing charts which depicted sea monsters lurking in the uncharted waters past where mariners dared tread. Who was to say anymore that no such dangers lurked beneath the surface?
So it was with no small amount of skepticism that they entered into this mission. Out there on the western edge of the Wakhan Corridor, it was easy to imagine that they had the rebel armies on the ropes. Supposedly sandwiched as they were in the narrow valley cum nature preserve, that jerrymandered province that was a result of hundreds of years of contestation over a land that was owned by no one but the ones who lived in it.
And in a fit of irony, the last time the borders had been redrawn was to accommodate their homeland, wedged in to the impossible space between Tajikistan and China. No amount of fighting had managed to create much of a lasting impact in the last millennia, but the discovery of their otherwise tacit existence had created such a paradigm shift such that the world had never seen before. The only question now was what would become of it. Would this imbalance further plunge the known world into a state of unrest, or would a new era of discovery find ways to exist in harmony?
Naruto was determined for it to be the latter. In the wake of his pyric victory over the forces of Madara Uchiha, he had initially lost much of the hope and purpose that he once had. Being confronted with a drastically shifting world which was moving far too rapidly for him to come to terms with left him unable to reconcile the plausibility of his godfather's dream. It had seemed a daunting enough goal when confronting the combined task of the Elemental Nations, but in regard to a world now know to be many thousands of times larger, it was downright impossible.
At least, he had convinced himself of this at first. He might never know when he ceased to be the Naruto Uzumaki he once knew, and perhaps it had never been just a single moment but a gradual decline. But he had now managed to recognize this loss in, and of himself. And that was the first step on the road to recovery.
He felt a personal responsibility to see this mission through to its end. Now not only was it the shinobi presence among the rebel alliance, but a power amidst the Elemental Nations which was abetting the resistance. Whoever was conducting weapons through his former homeland would get their comeuppance, of that he was determined. He had worked too hard, sacrificed too much to allow his countrymen to sink back into their old underhanded ways. One way or another, the matter would come to an end in this valley.
"So, Uzumaki, how do you propose we do this?"
Naruto blinked as the question was asked of him by his commanding officer. Truth be, he had let his mind wander during the briefing, content to let those more versed in strategy hash out the details of their upcoming campaign. He was only there by virtue of his newly minted rank and expertise in the shinobi arts, which was anticipated to become more of an issue during the tactical scenarios.
But the multitude of eyes staring at him impatiently from across the command tent clearly demanded his input immediately, much to his surprise and unease.
"Um, me, sir?"
"Yes, I am fairly certain you are the only Uzumaki present." Belletriste said with a straight face, though his tone of voice like a ventriloquist was rolling a pair of eyes. "I do believe it is time for you to step up to your command, not to mention with new age comes new responsibility."
Again, he blinked confusedly stumbling through the logic of the statement. It took him a few seconds to parse out the second half, having long since lost tract of the days as anything but numbers like coordinates. He hadn't even realized that so long a time had passed, and he even had to double check his arithmetic to make sure he was interpreting this correctly.
His eighteenth birthday had arrived with him being none the wiser. While this was not much a cause for celebration in his own culture, he was still shocked that so much time had passed with him being unawares. He had wandered blindly into adulthood, and wondered absently if he was ready for such responsibilities. Then again, when he gained his headband six years ago, he was also entrusted with this status, and so it should have hardly made a difference. But he would have been blatantly lying if he said he was mature enough back then, either.
Now he was entrusted with the duties of adulthood afforded him by this society, and still he had his doubts as to whether or not he was ready. But now, like before, he apparently had little choice. He would have to step up to the plate and do his best, hoping that it was enough.
But for once his fear was assuaged by the trust he placed in his commanding officer and in himself. Even though his NCO was forcing him into an uncomfortable position, he doubted that he would abandon him alone to this task. And even if he were to do so, Naruto knew he had matured a good deal in the years following the final battle where he had nearly lost his life, and lost so much more which was precious to him. He knew just how much more he had left to lose.
Se he stepped up to the blown-up map laid out on the ubiquitously drab metal table, fixing his gaze on the finger of land a few hundred miles long and a third as wide, which possibly concealed anywhere between a few hundred and a few thousand insurgents, armed with the latest weaponry spirited to them by the Russians and his own people. It was sure to be a challenge, and at first he found himself at a loss as to where to begin other than the concentration of dots on far left which represented their forces.
But a firm hand on his shoulder reassured him that he was not alone in this uphill fight, and he glanced to his right to see the confident smirk of his commanding officer, proffering a crutch to his hobbled strategizing.
"Don't worry kid, after this is over we'll celebrate the right way, at the finest brothel a legionnaire's salary can buy."
The room shared a chuckle at that, knowing how pitiful the amount really was, as well as the sheer difficulty of finding such a facility in the strict country.
Naruto resisted the blush, for once conscious of his inexperience in such matters, despite spending the past year and a half bunked in close proximity with the opposite sex. And yet, at the same time, he felt oddly placated by the shallow reassurance. It was a guarantee, a promise. And despite the seeming impossibility of the task, it was inevitable that the legionnaires would manage to sniff one out.
And just as surely the hot-blooded males would find a way to slate this particular hunger, he would find a way to get them through this first challenge. And he would do so on his own terms. He may now be a legionnaire, an obedient soldier and the rest which it entailed. But he was also a shinobi, and his own person above that. The conversation he had with the trio from the former Village Hidden in the Sand a scant few days ago still resonated deeply with him, and he could no more betray their faith than he could his own.
He knew Temari's words to be truthful. Perhaps this was not the best way to do things. If more people understood what was going on, if knowledge could spread to become universal, there probably wouldn't be this confrontation of ideals. A working solution could be found. But that was something that would simply have to follow what had to come now. Each side was invested in their methodology, and the two were mutually exclusive, or so they had been told.
Either way, he was committed, and once again sure of his integrity. He was being given a chance to direct the upcoming battle in the manner that best satiated his sense of righteousness. And he was not about to squander that opportunity. He was going to bring about peace as he had so many times before, and would for as long as it would take.
"This had better work…"
Naruto mumbled to himself, aware enough not to smudge the rest of drying ink of the complex glyph that occupied both his attention and the majority of the helicopter's side door. But not quite aware enough to pay attention to the rest of the goings on inside the expediently constructed hangar.
"I thought that was supposed to be my line."
The voice echoed mirthfully behind him, causing Naruto to frown as his brush went slightly astray, leaving his character with an extra tail which he very quickly had to wipe off before it dried and completely changed the nature of the seal array he was trying to achieve.
"Careful there." He could feel the levity in the voice, clearly as pleased with the whole setup as if it had been his idea to begin with. Which, to be fair, it might have been. Though that might have been giving too much credit to his commander's ability to strategize. He threw the rag now with yet another spot staining its off-white surface over his shoulder and removed the brush he had stashed in his mouth so that he could retort.
"You know, you're not helping by sneaking up on me." Continuing where he had left off, Naruto's brush deliberately pulled back from his completed, impromptu canvas. Standing back himself so that he could admire his work, he felt the modicum of pride he had garnered from the intricate seal's completion leave him like the breath from his lips as he gazed upon the rest of the squadron lined up in front of him he still had left to do.
His commanding officer scoffed at the very thought that someone like him could sneak up on a trained ninja, but halted any retort behind a sip from his mug. Hearing Naruto sigh in exasperation at the monumental task he still had before him, he allowed a little empathy to bleed into his otherwise jovial mood.
"Well, there's not much else I can do." He spoke with just a hint of bitterness which dissolved the next second. "This is your plan after all."
He wouldn't forget that. Apart from a few of the details regarding coordination, Naruto had been more or less given free rein in the planning and execution of the current mission. The task he had set himself now was all his own doing, and in no way counted towards any favors owed to him by the career soldier. In fact, given the expediency with which he had managed to procure the resources and get a greenlight on their course of action, he wondered just how deep in debt he really was with the non-com.
Still, it would have been nice to have his clones to do some of this work for him.
"Here, I brought you a present." Showing that he had not merely stopped by to annoy the blond, Belletriste turned back to the cart he had been porting and wheeled the heavy load up in between them. Naruto blinked curiously as he stared at the three innocuous wooden crates now in front of him, setting his brush down in an ammo can now full of tepid and muddied water on the stool behind him. Belletriste set down his own mug on one of the further crates, quickly undoing the latches on the one adjacent to Naruto and setting aside the battered lid.
They both looked on at the unassuming contents. Unassuming, if one didn't know what it was. While it would have been a complete mystery a few months ago for the blond, it was in fact exactly what the ex-shinobi had ordered.
"Do I even want to know how you got these?" Naruto questioned with a raised eyebrow, wiping his sweating brown with the dirtied rag over his shoulder.
"I asked of course." It was just a matter of who he had to ask. By now, Naruto had already learned to expect the stupid answer to the question he knew was equally dumb the moment it left his lips, and he let it slide off his sweaty shoulders. He was more annoyed that the smaller man didn't seem to mind the stifling air in the corrugated metal building.
"So," Belletriste became began seriously. "You are sure you will have enough time to do this?"
Naruto looked up from the crate's occupant to nod to the man, equally stoic. It would be a tight thing to be sure, but he had to. It was the only way he could think of to minimize casualties on both sides. He did not begrudge the man his doubt. Although, it did not go outside of his notice that he had merely questioned his ability to do so within the given time frame. He had not questioned Naruto's competence in making the seals actually work. It was comforting, and admittedly more than a little disturbing to be the recipient of such abject faith from the man who was supposed to have all the answers.
"Yes. I know I can." Naruto vocalized his assurance, as much for himself as for his commanding officer. "How many were you able to get?"
Belletriste returned his confidence with a knowing smile before setting the lid back down over the object and grabbing his enamel coffee mug. "There are three pallets, each with three missiles."
"Nine of them?" Naruto started reflexively, blinking as he daubed off his recovered paintbrush.
"You were expecting more of them?" Belletriste questioned. "It was hard enough to get just this many. These are prototypes, after all." He supplied with a hint of justifiable indignation.
Naruto shook his head slowly, chuckling lowly to himself and at the petulance in the remark made by his commander. "No, no, nine is plenty. It's just…." Naruto shrugged. "A coincidence, I guess. Maybe kind of a troubling one, if I stop to think about it."
"Ah," The spectacled man uttered with a light of comprehension, adjusting his glasses absently. "You mean the fox, then." It wasn't a question, but Naruto nodded anyway. Belletriste shrugged dismissively, seemingly more interested in the lingering grounds swirling around in his mug.
"People will look for meaning in patterns. Numbers are easy to identify, but also easy to obscure." He smiled to himself, clearly finding more personal meaning in that bit of advice. "There were nine tailed beasts. You were the container of the Nine-Tails." Naruto almost flinched, still not used to the man being so straightforward with information regarding shinobi and himself in particular. "But, they were each an incomplete part of the Ten-Tails, the Juubi." This time, Naruto did react involuntarily, his paintbrush clattering down on the perforated steel landing mats.
"It's actually a bit of funny mathematics, that. Nine beasts, with increasing magnitudes of tails. That's 45 tails total. Goes to show that the physical world is a little more complicated than we'd like it to be, no?"
"How do you know about that?" Naruto questioned, ignoring the previous pontification. He himself had only learned about the Ten-tails in the last moments during his fight with Madara, and it was one of the few conciliations he had about the loss of the fox and his brethren. At the very least, with them gone, for however long that might be, they wouldn't have to worry about Kaguya reappearing any time soon. But if word were to get out into the general public, there would be greater panic than any of them had ever seen to date.
"History," Belletriste stared down his subordinate, unflinching under the withering gaze Naruto was sending him. Even without the Kyuubi adding his bloodlust, it should have been enough to bring the man to his knees. But Naruto was even more disturbed to see his efforts being patently ignored and the man continued unabated. "Is written by the victors."
"So, what, you're saying you read it in a book?" Naruto growled out, taking a menacing half-step towards the man, despite the volatile objects in between them. He wasn't ready to accept such a blasé answer this time.
But Belletriste was not willing to accept this kind of insubordination at such a critical moment, either.
"Maybe I did. So what?" He snapped back. "Knowledge has, and will forever be equated with power. You cannot tell me that knowing what you do now, you may not have done things differently. You cannot fault me for wanting to know what I was getting into."
Of course he had to concede that point. But just because he had to admit its veracity, did not mean that was the way he had to live. He had been raised, schooled himself to learn how to trust people, and it was only through the harsh lessons that life taught that he learned how to be wary. And right now, his experience told him that the fewer people knew of the potential danger which lurked out there, the better. So while he wanted to trust this man to the oaths that they both swore, he knew he should not.
"Maybe some things are better left unknown." Naruto grumbled out under his breath. Thoughts drifting to how such knowledge pertained to his own life experience. Things probably would have been a lot simpler had he never known about the fox, never known about his parents, had the shinobi world at large remained ignorant of the world it inhabited.
But by the same token, perhaps not. Akatsuki would have still tracked him down, and he would have spent his whole life not knowing why he was so ostracized. He never would have experienced the pride, nor admittedly the burden of being the son of the Fourth Hokage. And maybe they would have won the final battle with Madara without the outside aid, anyway. But then again, maybe not. And was he not now richer for the experience? Even those forced by necessity from their homelands had had the world opened up to them, and new possibilities presented. Not all of them better, or even desirable, but options that were never there before.
He thought he was speaking only to himself, but to his surprise, his commanding officer apparently heard this self-utterance.
"I don't believe that." Despite the resolution in his voice, his face softened slightly, as if realizing his hypocrisy in that matter. "We are always better off for knowing. Even if it is to realize we make a mistake, it is better that we know so we can do better in the future. Innocence is a world devoid of knowledge. A world of right and wrong, of black and white. But I prefer one in which even the darkest of corners have some light."
The fists that he hadn't realized he raised fell to his side as his hands unclenched, the charred ashes of the rag falling like sooty snowflakes to the ground at his feet. He still was not willing to relinquish his guard, but this was clearly a side of his commanding officer he had never seen, and doubted had been shown at all for some time. And just as soon it was gone, but as he suggested, Naruto was happy to have seen it, and have his trust in the inherent goodness of people reaffirmed, at least for a moment.
"The truth always goes far deeper than just what is on the cover. That stands for both your world, mine, and now, ours." He jabbed a finger at black tome which rested on Naruto's stool besides the ammo can. The same book he had handed him months earlier, which he had read cover to cover multiple times, and had filled out in the course of his learning. His annotations spilling from margins and notes shoved inside the cover, bulging, threatening to spill onto the floor.
"That book, which contains the combined total of the world's sealing knowledge is the ultimate example. Your fuinjutsu can control the reality we live in, for better or worse. It defines history and reality consecutively. I hope you realize the power of the tool you have, Uzumaki."
He did. Now. He also understood that despite his secretive nature, the man was putting his faith in him to use it properly based solely on his character, and not any explicit promises he had made.
"I also hope you realize the magnitude of the task ahead of you." He looked to his left and Naruto followed his gaze. Many of their comrades and subordinates were already there, already in motion to and froe prepping everything else for their urgent task ahead. They were a well-oiled machine, but had not become so overnight. It had taken months of dedication and trust to get to where they were right then, and many mistakes along the way.
"It is inevitable that this mission will go down in the history books." Naruto looked back to see his wistful gaze as he continued to look upon the same teammates as him. Were his thoughts the same? Did he also desperately want to see them all come back? "Just like the last Shinobi War, just like the first." He whipped back to face Naruto once again, but this time was unable to keep his gaze. He averted his eyes and turned around, slowly walking away.
"It's up to you, Naruto, to determine what is written. Good luck, and God Speed."
Naruto watched him go, all the while trying to figure out what the man had not wanted him to see etched on his shadowed face. All men were afraid of being seen as vulnerable. But in that instant that he turned around, Naruto's gaze had been fixated on his team, his comrades, his friends. His singular thought revolving around them assured their protection at all costs. It was his unyielding conviction that he was unable to bear witness, and the only thing he wished to hide was his own guilt that he could not believe in so lofty a goal.
He would simply have to make him believe it was possible. He was Naruto Uzumaki, and he would always get back up to rise again. He would continue to take impossible tasks head on, and come out victorious.
And even if his commander did not believe that fact himself, he wanted to believe. He had granted him God Speed, a familiar turn of phrase, but one that applied to Naruto most assuredly.
Naruto turned back to his work with a skip in his step, heart and hand just a little bit lighter despite the grave circumstances. And as he began the second set of seals on the next aircraft with a combined flourish of precise and fluvial motion, he let his shit-eating grin overcome his face without having to go against the tide. If they could succeed in their endeavor, he would have secured his place in history not only as a superior seal master than his father and his godfather, he would have achieved his fame not for the amount of lives he took, but for those he spared.
"Need a hand with that?"
Naruto glanced up from his work, brush poised over the considerably smaller canvas he was now working on to see the familiar smirk chiseled on the dark, handsome face looming above him.
"Not sure what much you can do," He smiled apologetically as he returned to his tattooing of the explosive device carefully suspended between two of the crates to allow him access to its entire length. "I appreciate the offer though, Karui. But this is something that I have just developed, and I'm not even sure myself it it's going to work." He finished the character he was working on, closing the loop and actuating the scientific magic contained within before recapturing the woman's gaze. He didn't need to tell her that he wanted to be the one responsible, in the case that it didn't.
The redhead only answered him with a scoff.
"Quit being so full of yourself, Uzumaki. I know enough to tell a modified lightning seal when I see one." She was, after all, from Cloud. And even though there was something very clearly different about the pattern being incised on the skin of the missile, it was an obvious derivative that she would have little trouble following. "And I can sure as hell copy it."
He shook off his surprise easily enough with a soft smile of his own as he straightened from his crouch with a surprising amount of effort. He had been at this task for far too long, it seemed, and was sorely tempted to take her up on her offer. However…
"Thanks. Really. I appreciate the offer, and it's not like I don't trust you to be able to do it, it's just-"
"It's just that you have an irritating habit of trying to take the burdens of the world on your shoulders." She finished for him, her smirk crumbling away despite anticipating her fellow soldier's stubborn personality. He was about to protest what he viewed as an unfair summation when she cut him off once again, unsure if she would be able to retain her own resolve if forced to listen to his persuasive words.
"You've got to stop trying to be a martyr, Naruto." She folded her arms and glared down at the younger man with bags underneath his dulled azure eyes. "In case you haven't noticed, you don't owe it to anyone to keep killing yourself trying to save the world. No one expects you to do that." Maybe, at one time, that would have been the case. She was willing to follow him to hell and back, along with just about everyone else she knew because of the certainty that he alone could change the world. But things were different, and it was not because of any fault he had developed in the past few years. It was just the way things turned out.
Naruto didn't take it that way, though. Having had a history of being underestimated, he wanted to take offense at her doubt, despite the fact that he should have known his friend and comrade better by now. Such ingrained habits made during formative years were hard to break, however.
"I've been given command of this operation." He replied solemnly, staring down at his beginning sketches. He still had so far to go. "That means that I am responsible for all of you. And I need to make sure that you all come back alive." He would. And he would make sure that as many of the opposition came back as he possibly could as well. He may not yet have fully understood himself, but he comprehended the cycle of hatred that his master had instilled in him so long ago. Hopelessness in the face of insurmountable odds was not an excuse.
"Bullshit." Karui spat at him and he flinched up to meet her stony expression. "You may be the ranking soldier here, but even in this so called 'brotherhood' it's up to each one of us individually to take care of ourselves." Her gaze actually did soften then, and a rare side of the kunochi that he had seen only a handful of other times was illuminated in the monochromatic light. "You're not always going to be there to protect each and every one of us. Someday, we'll be gone. Someday you'll be gone. And we are all going to have to learn how to cope on our own."
This was ironically something that he had been dreading. He thrived on the reliance that others placed in him, but knew that it could not last. He had to teach the way of peace, and not try to force it on others. It was here that he had been lead astray for so long. It was easier simply to become yet another cog in the system and be told that what they were doing was for the best. Let the responsibility of leadership and inspiration fall to someone else. Now that he wanted to redon that mantle of responsibility, he was once again vulnerable to the fear of rejection.
"Tenten and I, we've both put in a transfer request." He barely heard her in his internal harangue, though her whisper seemed to fill the otherwise silent hangar. "After this mission, we've put in to be transferred to the 3eme REI (1)." Naruto felt his heart drop at this declaration. Soon two more of his friends would be an ocean away-farther even than his homelands.
"It's not a bad thing." Anticipating his reaction, Karui had already skirted around his workspace and closed the distance between them, placing a hand tenderly on his shoulder. Though he still did not dare meet her gaze, for fear that he had done something wrong to result in her flight. "Look at me, baka." She insisted with a squeeze of his shoulder, and he hesitantly responded to the pejorative, rising to meet her un-accusing expression.
"It's not a bad thing." She repeated. "The Legion was a temporary thing at best. And we've learned from it." She sighed and took a seat on one of the (hopefully) empty crates, gently forcing him to sit next to her. He had been working non-stop for the past 24 hours trying to get everything done in time for their next mission, not even pausing to take food and water, which had to be forced upon him in his trance-like state centered around his masterpieces.
"We left the elemental nations because we didn't have anything to offer them. We didn't belong, then, in the peace that you helped bring about." She spoke now for herself and her fellow shinobi, on both sides of the conflict. She was not ignorant to the fact that most of them were not the bloodthirsty killers that they were portrayed to be by the outside powers, framing them as inhuman boogeymen to inspire a new wave of anti-terrorist sentiment.
"We didn't have any other skills other than fighting. But thanks to the Legion, ironically enough, now we do." In the course of their service they had been trained in all manner of things, all with the emphasis on causing violence and destruction. But that was not to say that some of those skills could not be used to effect change for the good outside of the armed forces. Nobel had been lauded for his invention of dynamite. It was not inconceivable that in the field of modern combat that some skills imparted to them would have auxiliary uses.
"We're ready to move on. Do something else with our lives. See the world, and all that jazz." She said the last bit regaining her smirk with just a wee bit more playfulness as she knew that her next deployment would be anything but relaxing on tropical beaches. But it was something new, and she was ready for change. And after that no one knew what was in store.
"And we can do that, now, thanks to you." He had been the one to pave the way. Even if everything still wasn't perfect, even if their homeland did once again devolve into its history of internal squabbles, he had accomplished something never before conceived of. Who was to say that the untimely arrival of outside forces had hindered or helped this endeavor? Regardless it had become so, and he had then gone on to lead their listless and wayward populations away from where they could have jeopardized this. Sure it was probably not his intention to do so, but history would probably write it that way.
Though it was obvious he could not come to terms with this reality, blinded as he was by duty. Though he was in no way stupid, he was too prone to self-doubt and willful ignorance to do otherwise. He just needed someone to speak these words to him. At least, that was what she hoped.
But it did not seem like she had managed to convince him. If anything, he seemed even more mired in self-pity and hopelessness, focusing only on his inability to rise to godliness and instill contentment in everyone whose life he graced. She was annoyed, both with his obstinacy and her own failure to convey what she knew he needed to hear, when another voice broke into the private conversation.
"Yeah, perk up, blondie!" The two hadn't even realized the other kunochi making her way over to the two them in the darkly lit space, engrossed as they were with the profound nature of the conversation they were trying to have. Naruto nearly lost his grip on his slender brush as Tenten's hand landed roughly on top of his un-shaven head, and ruffled his already unruly locks, flecked with paint and matted with sweat from the metal greenhouse, only now becoming livable after dark.
She neglected taking her own seat, preferring to loom over and antagonize her friend, and for the moment ignore his superiority as both a fighter and command. It was also tactful, to illustrate the continued disparity between their heights and reinforce his fallibility.
Although Naruto was in no mood to be reminded of that, wound up as he was in the severity the next morning would bring, and growing continuously more irritated at being delayed from his work.
"Knock it off!" He shouted, a little too loudly. The two quickly desisted with their horsing around as his harsh command echoed throughoutt the steel building. "As your superior I order you to let me to my work." He stated coolly, standing up and turning back to face the two of them. They both withered slightly under his unusually stern gaze before glancing at one another.
"No."
He blinked, wondering if his fatigue was causing him to lose his touch, or rather, touch with reality.
"No?" He asked, almost afraid to hear the rebuttal.
"No." They both confirmed, nodding again to one another. "You may be our commander in the situation. Hell, everyone here knows that you could wipe the floor with the entire army single-handedly. But we refuse, not because we don't respect you, but because we do. You need to hear this, Naruto. You need to listen and understand. You're not a god. It's no shame to rely on others."
He failed to find the will to contest them. Outside of the heat of combat, he could no more order his friends around than he could ask them to give up doing what they loved. Perhaps he would not have made a good Kage after all. But could he really be faulted for his compassion, his desire to protect everyone he could? He was weary, as well. Tired, not just physically, but from the months on end of continued combat. Part of him longed to just quit, to lay down and let the war that others had started be finished by those same people. And it was this part of himself that he was so afraid of. It was not enough to leave the problems of the world for others. Not when he could do something.
So still, he wanted to protest, but yet another voice prevented him from forming his reluctant argument.
"You should know better by now, man. Can't argue with women."
He turned and was greeted by the pearly-white smile of one of the few 'normal' soldiers to stick with his unit from beginning to end. Conrad had against all odds kept pace with the superhumans which flooded their ranks, attesting himself to be invaluable with his gift of tongues and proving even more resilient than the behemoth Belgian, who had been transferred out not soon after their first tumultuous trial by fire.
"They're right too." He shrugged, never letting go of his grin which was a little disturbing in the crimson glow. "For once." That qualification brought upon him a pair of scathing looks, thankfully buffered by the dizzy blond in between.
"You need to take a break." The man's meaty hand enveloped Naruto's shoulder, and he found himself slightly off-balance at the contact, his fatigue being even more prevalent than he first surmised. "You need to stop trying to take everything on yourself." His smile drooped as he became incongruously serious. "You need to leave things to others. That's the point of being here. That's the point of being human."
They were social animals to the core. That was how they developed to such complexities, rose to such heights as to grace the stars. Not as individuals, but as herds, groups both tightly knit and with internal turbulence. But ones that still managed to work together and succeed where only failure came before. Everyone was responsible for humanity, it was not represented by the sole good or bad intentions of a single person.
He had forgotten that. He had been so strong before that he ceased to need others in his struggles. And then he had been reduced, banished to being 'normal' once again. And it so grated him that he had sequestered himself in his effort to gain strength. In doing so, he had satisfied his superiors, as well as himself. But the latter was a fleeting feeling, and one that he knew deep down he would never be able to sustain.
He had forgotten that he was just another human, out of this world of 7 billion others. He could do what he must, but not more than what was possible. It was not wrong to strive to do so, but he had been punishing himself none the less for his failures even still.
"You guys…"
As he stared at the three individuals encircling him, steadying him with both their strength and their spirits, he became aware of movement in the darkness beyond. Dozens more bodies were quietly making their way to their congregation, and as they entered into the dim, red light surrounding him, he found he knew each and every one. They had been the faces he had fought alongside for months now, and seemingly all his adult life. They had been the ones he had rescued from despair and in turn were now rescuing him from embarking on his personal trek to the hill of Cavalry.
He had tried to become the alpha and the omega, in part to please his commander who had seemingly imparted his impossible expectations unto him. And partially for himself, to regain the power and the prominence that he had lost.
But he hadn't lost it. He had never ceased being an inspiration to others. He had always, and would continue to be an agent of change. The most potent one, convincing others and spreading his ideals like an addiction so that one day with any luck everyone could have a taste of peace, love, and most importantly: hope.
"Alright then," He acknowledged with a nod of his head, weariness fleeing temporarily amidst the radiant energy of the others. He turned back to his work, nearly complete.
"Let's finish this."
It was easy looking from the darkness into the center of the room. The short man being all the more hidden himself, pressed up against the central supporting beam and leaning against the now cool corrugated metal walls. He rubbed his thumb against his index finger unconsciously, wishing there was a mug in between them. But even then, he might not have sipped from it, all too content as he was to remain silent and observe.
He took his glasses off with a muted sigh, the world being shrouded in almost total blackness without them. Only the barest hint of light made it through to his mangled eyes, lumpy with scarred tissue and tech lying just beneath the glassy surface. The scars that it hid now tingled incessantly. He blindly fingered the reinforced plastic, finding instinctively the tiny but intricate mark that channeled the chakra to make them work. He too was tired. Perhaps it would soon be time to retire.
The future seemed to be in good hands, at last, and he could finally let all the ghosts of his past rest.
"Naruto."
He opened his eyes, unsure of when he had shut them. Unsure of how he had gotten to where he now was, lying down in an open field, too weary to turn his head.
Or perhaps unwilling, as the softly smiling face of his crush loomed over him, framed by the pink bangs which haloed around her face, making her all the more beautiful despite the smudges and scrapes which marred her features. Staring at him in abject joy.
"Hey." He tried to get out, but the words caught in his throat. He didn't even have the energy to cough, much less keep his eyes open. But he did, all the same.
"I'm so glad you're alive."
She was. He could see the unshed tears welling up in the corners of her eyes reflecting the crimson rays of the dying sun. But for the life of him, he could not remember why he should be in such a position. It was like when one woke into a dream, in total conscience of what was going on, but with no conception of how one got there.
"I thought….we all thought we had lost you." She began, and as if realizing that he had no idea what she was talking about, elaborated. "You were fighting Madara, and then these people arrived from nowhere. Well, from the sky."
People from the sky? He certainly didn't remember anything about that. But the prodigal Uchiha certainly rang some bells, and little by little his most recent fight came back in gory but disjointed detail. He was still unaware of its conclusion.
"And then, there was this…bird." She shook her head, clearly unsatisfied with the description, or else realizing that he was still in abject pain, and she began going about the healing process. A testament to her skills, managing to hold a conversation while simultaneously administering medical jutsu. "No, it was just shaped like a bird, but it was the same sort of thing those people arrived in." She glanced off to the side, perhaps because of someone approaching, or perhaps because she was within sight of one of the aforementioned people. Naruto could not turn his head, so did not know.
"Anyway, this… craft," she finally settled on "dropped something." Her relieved smile turned into a frown. "I think it was a bomb."
He listened, but was unsure of what to make of the statement. He was totally ignorant of what she was describing, which was not too much of a surprise, given how engrossed he was with his own trial. But what she was describing seemed to touch a chord within his buried conscious. Part of him was making connections, even if he did not realize it.
"There was a huge concussive explosion." She continued, justifying her case. But he still could not put any images to the words that sounded familiar. "And then, there was another explosion." She stopped healing him, much to his disappointment, and shook her head. Clearly she too was having trouble coming to terms with things, because when remembering what had happened, she could not divide her attention at all.
"It wasn't just an explosion. It was a release of chakra." He saw her shudder and felt a chill of his own run down his immobile spine. "It washed over all of us. It was all light. And then, there was nothing. Like someone…"
He already knew what she was going to say, and if he could would have begged her to spare him its repetition. The memories came shooting back into his beleaguered mind in rapid fire, straining his ability to remain conscious. And if he could, he would have cried out in pain and desperation.
"As if someone just snuffed out all the tailed beasts all at once."
And there it was. There was his death staring him in the face. There was the Kyuubi, Kurama, his friend, accompanying him to the afterlife along with the rest of the Bijuu. The world as he knew it fading away along with reality itself. And then, he was slingshot back again at many times the speed of light. Disoriented, disjointed, and disturbed beyond all comprehension. And he could only feel as a single point might in a two-dimensional universe, as everything he worked so hard to achieve was getting farther and farther away.
But he was alive. And though he could not relish in that fact at the moment, it was at the behest of all the tailed beasts, and he would do whatever he could to honor their sacrifice.
But for now, he was as helpless as a newborn. Less so, even, as he could not even cry to release the pain he felt throughout his entire body. And just as he was lamenting the loss of his strangest and closest friends, his childhood paramour and companion left him as well, professing the need to see to other patients.
It might have been true, but he wondered if she could see the pain swirling in eddies within his azure eyes, brimming with tears that he could not conjure up.
He waited there for what seemed like another eternity. Slowly but surely things came back to him. He felt the IV drip first. The tiny needle none the less like a dagger in his arm. Then everything else. And through the blinding pain, both physical and mental, he began to regain movement, looking around to discover that he was no alone after all. He was another number in a group, a line, a matrix of cots stacked next to one another like sardines. All silently in states of disrepair.
There were so many.
But there was no one to his left. He was the last in the row, in the field of casualties that would take days to sort out. Until, that is, another was dropped off. He, like all the rest, looked far worse than Naruto imagined himself to be. The physical damage deranging his features into a parody of a human face, burns exfoliated flesh so that what was left was little more than a skeleton. But even still, he knew that he did not know this man. Given the sheer number that he knew there to be, it was little surprise.
"Hey." He tried to call out. But either he didn't make a sound, or the person didn't hear him.
He saw a pair of boots attached to legs which walked gently up to the person next to him. Saw the stranger bend down and offer the invalid a sip of water, which he was awkwardly able to accept after a while. Even if he couldn't hear their words, he would have known them to be foreigners. The mobile one was unmarred enough to see that, and his blond hair and blue eyes, while so similar to his own, were made strange by the man's square jaw and ridged brow.
The two talked, surprisingly the near-corpse on the ground was capable of such an act, which Naruto thought was a tad unfair. But seeing the state the man was in, and knowing his own innate healing ability, he was not envious. They talked until there came a noise. Something so deep that it started off more as a feeling in his chest, until his ears recognized it as sound. But it was still unlike anything he had ever heard before.
The closest thing he could think was of crickets the size of ox-carts. That was before he could even see them on the horizon. For a while, while they were still a speckled blur in the evening light, he was amused thinking he was correct, and was unconcerned by their implications. It would only be later, as they passed overhead so close that he could see the passengers they bore aloft, and feel the bubble of air they rode on, that he would find himself in equality of worry and amazement.
But as they were now, still so far away, his attention was focused on his neighbor. He too was not watching their approach, but seemed to be aware of it none the less. His head had fallen to its right so that he was staring right at Naruto. Feeling the gaze, Naruto turned to meet him. It was difficult to ignore the grotesque image that surrounded that gaze, though. And was perhaps no easier to meet it. The eyes which held his own were so shredded as to be near unrecognizable. He wondered if the man could even see, and would not even dare to guess as to the original eye color.
Even if he were blind, though, he seemed to know Naruto was there. He was somehow made aware of his presence, of the steady rhythm of his shallow breath above the now cacophonous drone beginning to surround them. Naruto did not look away, did not flinch as the non-existent lips formed non-words which sought out his ears.
He tried, once again, to form his own. To give a name to give something to the person desperately seeking not to be alone in this dark and strange world. He faltered at first. Tried again. Failed again. Unsure why he was even bothering, knowing that he probably wouldn't be understood anyway, he was still never one to give up.
"Hey." It came out more like a grunt than anything else, but the guttural sound still seemed to relax what muscle remained in the charred face. He offered his own back, and Naruto imagined himself smiling.
"Namae-wa, Uzumaki-Naruto desu." Though he was unsure of how much other than his name he managed to get out. He still was not sure what he expected from the other, separated by mere inches, in addition to the world between. Although, the other man began to parrot his words, searching for the meaning none the less.
"Namae? Namae, namae, name, name…" His words became mangled and drifted off, and after a few beats, Naruto lost hope of getting an intelligible answer.
"Name:" He came out with finalitly, catching the blond drifting off to sleep.
"Belletriste. Michelle Belletriste.
1. The 3eme French Foreign Legion Infantry Regiment (Regiment Etrangere d'Infanterie) is permanently stationed in French Guiana, in Central America. There they undergo intense jungle training in which death by disease is a common occurrence. It is their primary duty to guard the European Union's only independent space port, an important symbol of independence for the nations of Western Europe who would otherwise have to rely on countries within Russian influence, or the United States.
This took way longer than expected to get out, and as such might be kind of disjointed due to the long interval between working on it. I finally found both time and inspiration again, and wanted to polish this story off so I could revive my Naruto X RWBY story, which, some of you will be happy to know, has already seen its first strokes.
Anyway, not a whole lot of action in this one, but that should be rectified in the next chapter. Rest assured that I am not abandoning any of my stories (for the three of you who probably care). But that being said, I do have school now, and this year is going to be a doozy.
Right then, I'm off.