Phone Messages
//Random Note//: I wrote a Suspense/Action FMA fic if it interests anyone :). It's called "A Brother Gone Missing.". Tally-ho and on with the show! (I made in rhyme on purpose xD)
TV: "And so the meerkat burrows a hole to escape its predator…"
Roy: (eating popcorn) "I can't wait to see what happens next!"
Hawkeye: "Sir, you have new messages."
Roy: "But…meerkats Hawkeye…MEERKATS."
Hawkeye: (whips out gun) "I suggest you press that button, sir."
Roy: "Okay! –cough-psychobitch-cough-"
Answering machine: "You have…3 new messages. First message (beep): Hey there, you stud. I thought I might find you at this number. I've been watching you, flame boy, wanna set my heart on fire? (deletes message)
Roy: "…Envy?"
Answering machine: "Next message" (beep): "Roy! How ya been? Guess what? ELICIA CAN ADD 5 AND 5! She's going so fast, you know, you have to come see her she's like a baby genius! Soon she'll be lifting TWO sippy cups over her head! Isn't that just-(deletes message)
Roy: "Didn't I block his number too?!"
Hawkeye: "Well, sir, we attempted to block his number, but he blocked us from blocking his number, so we found a way around him blocking us then we blocked him again, only to find that he just used another phone number…"
Roy: "...(slams head on desk)"
Answering machine: "Next message" (beep): "This is the federal government calling, we noticed you hadn't done your taxes for months. I'm afraid we're going to have to repossess some of your items. We'll be over in five minutes.
Roy: "Federal government…?"
(Door bursts open) "I'm special agent James Smith of the federal government, I'm here to repossess your belongings."
Roy: "Now just wait a minute, a federal government doesn't exist in this world!"
Smith: "Oh…well, we're taking your stuff anyway." (snickers)
Roy: "But-!"
Smith: "This TV looks nice, I'll take this."
Roy: "NO! I was just watching that!"
Smith: "Oh? What do we have here? Fancy-looking piece of equipment you have here…" (picks up answering machine). I think I'll take this along with me, too."
Roy: "THANK GO-I mean…(sarcastic voice) Nooooo please don't take it! It's so dear to me."
Smith: "Sorry, it's coming with me. This should pay off your taxes. Have a good day!" (slams door)
Roy: "At last, NO MORE MESSAGES! VICOTRY IS MINE! (leaps into power stance)."
(Door bursts open again)
Roy: "What now!?"
Armstrong: "ROY! I SAW THAT MAN MAKE OFF WITH YOUR ANSWERING MACHINE! TURNS OUT HE WAS JUST A THEIF TRYING TO TAKE PEOPLE'S PERSONAL BELONGINGS DISGUISED AS SOME MEMBER OF A PHONY GOVERNMENT. NEVER FEAR! I TURNED HIM INTO THE POLICE AND GOT YOUR ANSWERING MACHINE BACK! ISN'T THAT WONDERFUL?"
Roy: "YOU'RE FIRED!"
Armstrong: "YOU DON'T HAVE THE POWER TO FIRE ME."
Roy: "Damn, you're right…"
End Pt…9?