Everything Wrong With: Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney
Episode Two: Turnabout Corner
"Opening makes case look like it's going to be way better than it actually is." *ding
"Also, in the opening, the gunshot clearly comes from where Wocky is standing, but in court, we have to prove that wasn't the case. Game shows us an incorrect culprit just to make fun of how they used to show you who the culprit is." *ding
"Apollo can't get a job anywhere else, so he's forced to become the employee of the guy whose daughter gave him false evidence in his plan and gives no fucks (and does nothing to protect against the fact) he could have ended Apollo's career for good. What a great start to their boss/employee relationship." *ding
"Trucy Wright." *removes a sin
"Also, the best version of Trucy Wright's theme song. Fight me on this." *removes another sin
(Apollo is shocked Trucy and Phoenix are only eighteen years apart) "Thalassa is forty when Apollo is twenty-two, so even though Apollo doesn't know... hypocrite much?" *ding
(At the clinic) "Dr. Hickfield is still a character. In a game that cut most the trilogy cast, why the ever-loving fuck would they keep this guy?" *three sins
"Also... he's still pervy as fuck. Trucy is fifteen, goddammit!" *two more sins
(the car accident) "Indestructible nature of Phoenix aside, if Phoenix flew through the air and hit his head on the telephone pole, why is his ankle the body part injured? Did the pole realize the fan backlash it would get if it hurt Phoenix's head and gave him amnesia again? Did Takumi ask the pole to go easy on him? This makes no sense." *ding
("You could just tell me things instead of insinuating them.") "But Apollo! If Phoenix did that, this game would lose half its runtime!" *ding
"Phoenix threatens poverty for himself and his daughter if Apollo doesn't agree to work for them. Aside from essentially being emotional blackmail, it ends up being pointless in this case, because Apollo doesn't get paid for anything he does." *ding
("You wanted a client, didn't you? Well, I'm your client!") "Haha... I quit." *ding
"Apollo says he can't sue anybody because he isn't a prosecutor, but we see a civil case happen two games later, and zero prosecutors were needed. Apollo is a lawyer. He should know this." *ding
(Examining the DVDs) "They confirm Maya's existence in this case, but don't actually show us Maya. So I can only remove a half sin." *half sin removed
(Meeting Eldoon) "They literally named a character 'Noodle Guy'. And I thought Spirit of Justice didn't put effort into their pun names." *ding
"Game forces me to look for a fifteen year old's panties. Thanks for the government watch-list, Capcom!" *ding
"Also, who the fuck hangs panties outside their window?" *ding
("One of our Capos thought he'd make a great point man!") "Phoenix the gangster did not make it into the final version of the game." *ding
"If the car knocked over this much paint, how did none of it get on the car? This is never explained." *ding
"Also, why is Plum Kitaki cleaning up dried paint with a broom? How does that even- I'm gonna need to lower my nitpickiness levels for this case, aren't I?" *ding
(Examining People's Park) "Wendy Oldbag makes a background cameo. This is my favorite appearance of hers by far." *no sin
("Ah, Detective Skye! We're fine ma'am, nothing to report!") "...Detective Skye, eh?" *removes a sin
"Ema threatens to assault Apollo with dangerous fictional chemicals. Naturally, this leads to no consequences whatsoever. But on the bright side, she ended her reputation as a Maya clone in only two lines!" *the sins cancel out
"Game forces me to think about a gangster woman's panties. Because the teenager wasn't bad enough." *ding
"Eldoon says he has a wife, but we never meet her. Did she too commit suicide? Is she Spoon? For an initial investigation that takes us all over the place for reasons we don't know yet, you'd think they'd have time to explain some shit." *ding
"The police won't let us enter the Meraktis Clinic because of its connection to the murder. The garage, however, is perfectly accessible." *ding
"Why does this clinic have a Frankenstein mannequin in their garage? Is this a reference to something? That's never explained." *ding
"In the pictures, the car hits Phoenix head on, so how did the side mirror break off? No way did the car swerve that much in the limited space depicted." *ding
"Wesley Stickler has the girliest phone imaginable." *ding
(Clothing in the tailpipe) "Rise from the Ashes reference. Wait, that's not a sin."
"Trucy spends entirely too much time talking about her panties for a fifteen year old. And yes, I know they're for a magic trick. Talk about getting crap past the radar." *ding
"Also Trucy tells Apollo we haven't solved the panties case yet because we don't know who did it... then says, because we've solved the panties case, we should report to Phoenix. A-plus consistency right there." *ding
(Alita Tiala at the WAA) "I am almost one thousand words into this review, and the murder mystery has only just started. I could have played The First Turnabout (fuck, maybe even Turnabout Sisters), come back, and still been here in time for the actual case to start." *ding
"Also, discount Dahlia Hawthorne." *ding
"Wocky Kitaki's character design." *ding
"Also, Wocky Kitaki." *ten more sins
("I must say I'm used to being inspected by the ladies... But this is the first time I've felt this way with a man.") "Klavier is gay for Apollo? That beats my fanfiction." *ding
"Also... Klavier Gavin, everybody." *removes five sins
"Game spares us from sitting through the thirty minutes Ema took investigating a request later. I'm grateful, but why aren't we spared useless wastes of game time more often?" *ding
(Asking Ema questions results in her snacking loudly) "Game pulls this bullshit three fucking times." *ding
(Bringing Ema "white powder" so we can access the crime scene) "Bet you never thought Ace Attorney would reference cocaine in their games. See what I mean about the edgy teenage years? And this wasn't even the game that got the M-rating. That was their attempt to recreate the series's golden childhood." *but it's funny, so I won't sin
(Ema says it's hard to get guns in this day and age) "Sometime between now and 2026, America passes stricter gun control. Go America!" *no sin
"For a detective on the murder scene, Ema is unusually helpful. After she gets her white powder fix, of course." *still not a sin
"Ema uses her former assistant status to read Apollo's mind. I thought that only works on the lawyer they helped out." *ding
"Meeting Wocky Kitaki. Is ten more sins too excessive?" *sticks with eight
(In the courtroom) "Klavier Gavin's theme song." *removes a sin
"The Rivales Family. Can I just give a blanket ten sins for all further bad pun names like I did in Spirit of Justice? Thank you." *ten sins awarded
(Wocky was shot in the heart) "(singing) Shot through the heart and you're to blame. Darlin', you give looo-oove a bad name. I play my part and you play your game. Darlin'-" *sin on my singing ability
"Klavier takes entirely too much pleasure in telling Wocky about his imminent death. And I thought he was the nicer Gavin brother." *ding
"Wesley Stickler." *three sins
"Why does Stickler wear graduation robes if he's a junior? That's never explained." *ding
(Trucy fakes her kidnapping) "After three games of overusing 'the assistant gets kidnapped/is in trouble' cliche, Trucy uses it to her advantage to prevent Apollo from losing. Trucy may be the most genre savvy character in this series, second only to Aura Blackquill." *no sin
"Also, Klavier clearly knows what's really going on, but he just rolls with it. Why?" *ding
(In the defendant lobby) "Game gives you the same Perceive tutorial two fucking times. Why did we need the second one?" *ding
"Phoenix took his underage daughter to late-night poker games to use her superpower for his benefit. Add this to working magic shows in bars most nights, and I bet Trucy's seen some shit. No wonder she's so damn savvy." *ding
"How does Apollo present an entire noodle stand in court? This isn't DGS. They don't have that shit in the courtroom with them. So how can Stickler look at the other side of a stand that isn't there?" *ding
(Trucy explains the "north vs. south side" contradiction) "Why isn't Trucy a lawyer in this series, or at least a co-counsel more often? She's keeping pace with Apollo, here, and is the only reason he didn't lose this case early on. She's one of the best things about this game, hands down. Why was her role cut down in later games? And how cool would it be for her to stand on the bench with her father? Or even Athena?" *ding
(Stickler explains why he stole Trucy's panties) "Take this out of context, and it sounds really perverted. In context? Not much better. Need I remind you she's fifteen?!" *ding
(Back at the office) "Oh look, it's Alita Tiala. Not gonna lie, I kinda forgot she was in this case. Considering she's the culprit, that's not a good thing." *ding
"Game says they want you to go to the Meraktis Clinic... before you can enter the Meraktis Clinic. There is no indication you need to visit the Detention Center before doing this, and your visit has nothing to do with anything else. You just have to visit every possible location until you get it right." *ding
(Eldoon says he was chased out of business as a doctor by Meraktis) "Why would Eldoon take up running the noodle stand? He was a doctor! Even if he got chased out of business by Meraktis, he could literally just move a couple of miles away and be fine. Everyone needs medical care, and most people want a family doctor close to where they live. He would find patients in no time. Also, medical school is a bitch ton of money. How the fuck is he paying his student l- I'm putting too much thought into this when I could just as easily sin." *ding
"Also, if he was a surgeon, why didn't he work for a hos- yeah, no. Just gonna sin." *ding
"Klavier's motorcycle breaks on him solely for the purpose of us being able to explaining why Meraktis stole the noodle stand in court later. What a plot convenient inconvenience." *ding
(Ema comparing Klavier to Edgeworth) "This is the closest Miles Edgeworth comes to appearing in this game." *ding
"Ema refuses to tell us the story of how Phoenix lost his badge... because she knew it was gonna be the the topic of the finale? I don't have any other explanation for this." *ding
"Shoe print analysis is cool and all, but... where did Ema get a record of everybody's shoe prints if the shoe print kit isn't police issue? That never gets explained." *ding
(At the clinic)"Why would Alita know Meraktis's safe combination? Even if she knew it as an employee, wouldn't Meraktis change it after she left, especially considering the circumstances? This makes no sense. Not that any of Meraktis's other actions are much better, but-" *ding
"Also, say what you want about this case, but its use of forensic mini-games was on point. It has some of my favorite uses of forensics in the entire series." *no sin
(Examining inside the safe) "Game makes fun of itself for typos. I was gonna do that, dammit!" *still no sin, though
"Again: there's no indication you have to visit Phoenix at this point of the investigation, but the game comes to a screeching halt if you do not. I hope everyone had as much fun location hopping as I did at this point of the game." *ding
"We go to the Detention Center just to be told both suspects are in questioning. Why did we come here?" *ding
"Why does Alita leave such clear toe prints with one foot, but not the other? Is it so the player only has one option for forensic analysis?" *ding
"I just realized: we never reported the break in. Good on Apollo and Trucy for being A plus citizens!" *ding
(In the Detention Center with Wocky) "If this series has taught me anything, it is to always be suspicious of quickly escalating relationships. If a girl pulls that trick on you, two times out of two she wants you dead." *ding
"No way is Eldoon's blond hair just a- whooooooaaa. Nice transformation." *no sin
"Also, if Wocky is as close to death as Eldoon says, is there a reason his trial can't be postponed until he's been operated on? I understand the plot reasons behind it, but it wouldn't look very good for this legal system if they let a defendant die from a heart condition they knew about while he was in police custody. I get it's the Dark Age of the Law and all, but that's still dark as fuck. Just because I hate Wocky as a defendant doesn't mean I want him to drop dead on us! Apollo should not get Mia'd, goddammit." *ding
(back in court) "By complete coincidence, the witness we spend an entire investigation learning about the shadiness of is the first witness the prosecution calls to stand for completely unrelated reasons. This case is chock full of coincidences, isn't it?" *ding
"Present the wrong evidence in this part of the case, and Klavier delivers your penalties to the sound of guitar music." *no sin. Just wanted to point that out because I think it's cool
"Why does the entire trial stop for a half hour to get a bullet analyzed? Usually when forensic tests happen mid-trial, they just keep going and talk about something else. Unnecessary waste of trial (if not game) time is unnecessary." *ding
"I get Alita doesn't want to go to jail, but isn't she screwed regardless? The Kitakis know her true nature now. If she were to go free, they would hunt her down and kill her (a la Farewell, My Turnabout). She doesn't gain anything by sending Wocky to jail at this point: he'll die in prison and never marry her. So why does proving her crime take nearly as long as it does?" *ding
"Also, I just realized: for two incidents in a row, Wocky made the near-fatal mistake of bringing a knife to a gunfight. Literally." *ding
("Objection! That's just dumb!") "Frivolous Objection cliche. Again. Unfortunately, no matter how hard Apollo tries, he will never be Miles Edgeworth." *ding
(Proving Meraktis tried to strangle Alita) "What is it with victims injuring nearby women in the neck this game?! This is too oddly specific to become a cliche, goddammit." *ding
"Also, if Meraktis tried to strangle her around the neck, why would her lipstick be on the lamp cord? He didn't have it wrapped around her mouth initially, did he?" *ding
"Body parts as evidence. Apollo just loves this cliche, if Spirit of Justice is anything to go by." *ding
"Also, let's talk about Meraktis's actions the night of the crime: he throws a lamp cord around a girl with a gun (how Alita failed to shoot him them and there is anyone's guess), strangles her to unconsciousness, and just assumes she's dead. Some doctor he is! But it gets better: as he's finding a way to dispose of her body in the noodle stand, he remembers to bring the pistol along with his victim in the stand where she is (she couldn't have brought it with her without him noticing. She didn't wake up until she was in the stand, remember?) for no apparent reason. You've heard of culprit foiling their own plot and defendant causing their own arrest, now meet their distant cousin: victim causing their own murder. Because Meraktis can't just be an asshole; he also has to be an idiot." *ding
(Klavier saves our asses) "The trilogy brought you mentor ex machina, and it's too early in the series for Thought Routes, so meet the interim invention: Klavier ex machina. It's a refreshing different to have a prosecutor who will work with us to find the truth almost from the get go, but I'm not gonna lie: it does make the game a bit too easy for me, and takes away the pleasure of solving the case almost as much as when Mia would solve it for us. The sin isn't on Klavier as a character. Just the gameplay execution of him." *ding
(We prove Meraktis moved Alita in the noodle stand) "And now we see how all the mysteries come together: through incredibly convenient coincidence." *ding
(after the verdict) "Big Win's huge-ass eyebrows." *ding
"Also, Apollo doesn't paid for this. He's been unemployed for two months, and is fresh out of college nonetheless. The Kitaki's have money, and he's got student loans to pay, goddammit." *ding
Total Sin Tally: 93.5
Sentence: Hypertension (and stolen panties)
A/N's: So I'm back. I don't actually hate this case as much as other people do (not saying I like it, and I can understand where the hate comes from, I just don't personally feel it), and actually thought it had some good moments. It wasn't a good case, but it had good moments. Maybe that's why it didn't break the hundred sin barrier.
But I think this is my first game to have a second case review be shorter than the first. I just had a lot to say about Turnabout Trump. Shame the middle cases didn't keep the hype going. They're okay, but not all that remarkable. Not to mention, Turnabout Serenade is frustrating as fuck. Don't be surprised if I take my time sinning that case...
Even so, I hope you enjoyed. Thanks for reading, don't forget to review, and I'll see you on the far side!