I don't own Chicago Med or any of its characters.
Monday mornings usually passed by with ease. There were almost no new patients since the bus incident, and Sarah only had to come in that day to check lab results. She took a long shower, thinking that she had less and less time to call her decision on pathology. She ran her hands through her hair, letting the water soak it. It was true that she had felt more confident since Dr. Rhodes had called her up, but she was still afraid. She had always imagined herself as a lab person. And now, suddenly, there was a doctor who was pushing her in a completely different direction, pushing her buttons and mixing up her feelings. She didn't know where to go anymore. She knew she demanded too much of herself, but she had always been like that. She always had to be the best to herself.
She sighed and got out of the shower. She got dressed as in a daze, brewed some coffee, took her stuff and the leather jacket, and took off. She had slept only four hours, which she knew contributed to her feeling more stressed. She shut her eyes tight for a brief moment before opening them again, trying to stay awake, took a sip from her coffee, and continued driving.
She arrived at the hospital which was crowded, as usual, with incoming no patients. It's like the place never rested. Never slept.
She hurriedly made her way to the locker rooms to then head out to the lab. Contrary to the other areas of the hospital, Sarah enjoyed spending time at the lab. It was always so quiet and precise. Nothing could go wrong there. She only had to calculate exact portions and add the right bacteria or chemicals into samples. The process had structure, unlike handling a patient, where each time everything was new and unexpected.
She kept walking to the locker rooms but almost bumped into someone. Someone that made her throat dry and her heart beat as if it would burst out at any second.
-Careful, Reese. - He said instinctively, extending and hand to her elbow as if trying to prevent her from falling.
-Dr. Rhodes. Sorry… I… here. - She mumbled after organizing in her head what to say and trying to breathe normally.
Connor looked at her with an arched and eyebrow, smiling.
-Here?-
She shook her head and handed over his jacket, not realizing that she hadn't. -Your jacket. I'm returning it. –
Sarah could've sworn she saw him drop his smile a little, but the expression was covered quickly by a bigger smile.
-Glad it helped. - He said taking it and throwing it over his shoulder.
Sarah forced a smile and then continued walking, only to be stopped by the elbow by him.
-Hey, what's wrong?-
Sarah looked up at him, annoyed, and shook her arm from his tender grip. –What are you…?-
-Reese, I can read you like a book. What is it? - He pressed on.
Sarah took a step back, upset, and crossed her arms. She looked at the floor.
-Tell me what's wrong. - He insisted, stepping closer to where she stood.
Sarah refused to look at him. She knew that her resolve would crumble then and there if she did. She had spent a great amount of time trying to push the issue away, and until now she was fine. She could deal with it on her own. She didn't want to bother anyone with something that was really not that important. I wasn't even something she should be worrying about that much.
-Reese. Is this about pathology? -
His stern and worried voice finally made her look up, tears filling her eyes. He looked into them, and seemed visibly surprised. He didn't move and neither did she. That is, until she felt ashamed and overwhelmed by every thought in her head. She felt she had to leave.
Connor anticipated this, so he spoke quickly.
-Come with me? I want to show you something.-
-Dr. Rhodes, I can't, I have to…-
-Please. -
He didn't say it as an imploration or plead. He just said it, closing his eyes, his tone serious.
Sarah sighed, biting the inside of her cheek, and looked down again. -Where?-
They had gotten to the fifth floor. He had taken her to one of the coma rooms. When she looked through the glass panel, she saw a teenage boy lying on the hospital bed. There were fresh flowers on each of the side tables, showing that evidently he had frequent visits.
-Why did you bring me here? - She said finally looking at him. He looked tense.
–This is an older patient of mine. - He said, not looking at her. –When I was a med student, a bit older than you, this kid arrived at the hospital, nothing too complicated: he had an ear infection, a rash, a cold, and a headache. I was supposed to diagnose him… but the symptoms started getting worse by the hour. His defenses were so low, I couldn't stabilize his vitals.-
Sarah kept looking at him, quiet and expectant.
-It was a case of a rare brain tumor. By the time I figured it out, the damage was already beyond repair. - He sighed heavily. –He fell into a coma.-
Sarah didn't say a word. She just continued to stare through the glass panel.
-I didn't know how to deal with it at the time. The heaviness of what had happened haunted me every day, and every night. - He paused. –One day of his parents' visit, I knew that I needed to apologize. I didn't even know what I was supposed to say. I just knocked on the room's door and was face to face with the kid's parents. I, the doctor who didn't save their son. His father looked at me, put a hand on my shoulder, and simply said: "Son, it's okay. There was nothing you could've done. We forgive you".-
-Why are you telling me this?-
-Because you will have good days, and bad days, Reese. - He said, finally looking at her. –You will have the worst trials a person will ever have to go through. You will have to make really tough decisions. But you are very capable of making those decisions. You are strong, and smart, and ready for this job. It's okay to feel afraid of people. It's okay to be afraid of messing up. What is not okay, is taking the easy way out. You don't quit. You move on, and keep helping so many other people.-
Sarah kept quiet, her arms around herself. No one had ever been this truthful and sincere towards her. No one had opened up with her the way that he had.
-Why do you care so much? That I stay or leave?-
She saw him hesitate a split second. -Because I know what you can do. And we need more people like you.-
Their eyes finally met, and Sarah wiped at her eyes. He was right. She couldn't keep running away like she had been doing. She still had a lot to think about, but Connor's words had certainly helped.
-Thank you.-
The end of the day came, and Sarah was ready to leave for home. She felt calmer now. More centered. She passed by the ER and spotted April, who signaled with her hand to come over.
-Hey, April.-
-Shhh, girl you didn't hear this from me, okay?-
Sarah furrowed her brow. –What is it?-
-Apparently there's something going on between Dr. Halstead and Manning? - She whispered almost aggressively.
Sarah shook her head, smiling. -April, that's no news…-
-Why didn't you tell me? - She said surprised, whacking her with a patient's file on the arm.
-Hey! I didn't know either! I just, kind of figured it out.-
-Well, anyway. That's not the point. I heard that Dr. Halstead, who told Dr. Charles, who told Dr. Choi, who told Dr. Rhodes…-
-April, the point.-
She rolled her eyes and pursed a smile. –They're throwing Dr. Manning a surprise baby shower!-
-Really? Why didn't I know this? - She said, confused.
-Maggie just told me as well. Today, at nine, Dr. Rhodes's place.-
Sarah felt her blood drop to her feet. –Dr. Rhodes's place?-
-Yeah, so nice of him, right?-
-Right... - She responded. She had always wondered what his house looked like, and couldn't help but feel curious about it.
-See you there, then? - said April.
-Of course… I guess I'll go home and change then. - She said smiling. She felt much happier than she had felt that morning, and knew that a small gathering could only do her good.
Once she got to her apartment she took a shower, washing the smell of hospital away. She wore a little red dress, and let her hair down, but she didn't bother with much makeup. She then grabbed her phone.
Why didn't you tell me about the shower? She typed to Connor, curious.
Her phone vibrated almost instantly. Forgot? Sorry. Was too busy convincing you to stay ;)
She smiled and shook her head. Fine. Should I bring anything? She checked the time: eight fifteen.
The phone vibrated again. Everything's covered.
That being said, and after asking his address, Sarah got into her car and drove away. It took her fifteen minutes to arrive at the house. It was white, with touches of wood. It looked modern and kind of pricey to her, so she double checked if she had gotten the right address. Once she verified, she parked around it, so her car wasn't visible, and got down to rang the bell.
Connor opened the door and Sarah's breath got caught in her throat. He was wearing a black button-up shirt and grey dress-pants. If she had ever felt attracted to him, it didn't compare to the way he looked right now.
Connor too seemed to be transfixed by her. She was wearing her hair down, and a red dress. She looked quite a bit older than she really was. Much more mature and centered. She looked confident.
-You look beautiful. - He said finally.
The words shook her out of her trance and she blushed a deep shade of red. Connor seemed to notice this and couldn't help but smile.
-Come in. - he said, stepping sideways, letting her pass. –The others won't be long.-
His phone started ringing, so he answered it, not before telling her to make herself at home. But how could she? Her "home" was only a kitchen, a bedroom, a living room and bathroom. It certainly didn't have a fancy backyard a bar or balcony. She kept staring in awe at her surroundings, trying to take it all in. She spotted Will, coming in from one of the rooms, carrying out a box of balloons and decorations.
-Hey, Reese. Could you…? - He said motioning to the box.
-Sure! - She said, helping him organize all of the things he had brought.
-It was Choi and Maggie. - said Connor putting his phone on his back pocket. –They'll be arriving in fifteen minutes.-
Sarah nodded, -I'll text April.-
Will left for a moment, to get the cake which was still in his car.
After everything was set, Sarah kept looking around.
-Do you like it? - Said Connor, noticing her curiosity, but proceeding to the kitchen to pour out some wine for her.-
-It's incredible. How long have you lived here?-
-A few years. – He said, handing her the glass. She took a sip and savored the taste on her lips for a second, relishing on the taste. This was exquisite wine.
She looked up from her glass and met Connor's gaze, eyeing her lips. But after a second, he looked straight into her eyes as well. She felt awkward and cleared her throat a bit, but didn't move back.
-I guess I should thank you again. What you told me earlier… I know it wasn't easy for you. And it helped me, really… So… thank you. - She said, stumbling over the words.
-Don't mention it. - He said with a small smile, still looking straight into her eyes.
They were several inches apart, and Sarah thought the time had stopped. Both kept staring into each other's' gaze. They were both alone. Searching. But she didn't know what she was looking for quite yet. She felt as in a trance. Like she was in another dimension. Lost in his eyes. He looked briefly at her lips again…
The sound of the door clicking open made her jump. Will came in, humming happily with the cake in his hands. Connor cleared his throat and stepped back, giving her one glance before helping him settle the cake on the counter.
Sarah stared into space, confused. What had just happened? Or more specifically: What would have happened if Will hadn't come in?
The door rang again, interrupting her thoughts, revealing Maggie and Dr. Choi and also Dr. Charles.
-Where's April?-
-She's coming with Dr. Manning. It's all part of the plan.-
Suddenly the door rang one more time. Connor hurried to turn off the lights and Will's voice whispering that they quickly hid filled the hid behind the couch, placing both hands on it so that she could keep balanced. Her right hand brushed something and quickly retracted it, unable to see.
-It's just me. - said Connor, an amused tone in his voice.
Once the door clicked open, the lights turned on, showing a very confused Natalie and a beaming April.
-Surprise!-
Natalie instantly screamed, and then laughed, making everyone else, including Sarah, laugh hard.
-You guys! What are you…? I thought someone had broken in! - She said a hand on her stomach, protectively. Will approached her, laughing, and picked her off her feet, holding her to him and making her laugh again and start punching him lightly on the arm to put her down.
Sarah contemplated the scene with joy. She noticed Connor watching her briefly, and she looked his way from across the room. He raised his glass in her way, so she did the same, enjoying the moment and pushing away, for now, the doubts and confusions that filled her head.
Woah. Long chapter o.o