Okay, this chapter is pure grief and fluff. Enjoy! (I don't own Chicago Med or any of its character. I'm also not a doctor.)

Thanks for your reviews! I read each and every one! Please tell me if you want me to start answering some :)

A few knocks on the door got her attention from the book she was reading. It hadn't been easy being a patient. She was used to moving around all day and being busy with patients, tests, physiotherapy, lab results… she could go on and on. But now that all she had to do was stay in her hospital room and rest, she had had plenty of time to think about what happened, about how it had affected her, and how it would affect her decisions. She had tried not to think the incident would influence her choosing pathology but she couldn't help it. All of what happened seemed to point it in its favor. But she knew making hasty decisions would only make things worse. She needed a break from thinking. She wanted to leave.

-Can I come in? - said a head subtly peeking through the door. Of course it was him… Sarah had been anxiously expecting his visit.

-Of course, Dr. Rhodes.-

He made his way in, reveling from behind him a small bouquet of flowers that made a light blush creep onto her cheeks. Even when she was almost killed, he could still make her blush. He could still make her feel lightheaded and… special. He placed them carefully on her bedside table and sat slowly on the chair beside the med student. He looked at her intently, but didn't say a word. Sarah knew there was some sort of conflict in his mind because of his changing expressions. He cleared his throat, but still, nothing came out. Sarah felt pained seeing him like this. She somehow felt guilty.

-How are you feeling?-

-Better. - She said silently.

Connor nodded, and intertwined his fingers. He placed his hands beneath his chin and sighed.

-I'm sorry I wasn't there on time. I'm sorry I…- his eyes were glossy, and Sarah knew she had to stop him.

-Hey. - Sarah she said placing her uninjured hand on his forearm. Connor took it on his, examining it and slowly drawing light patterns on it, his mind still elsewhere. Sarah felt herself relax, but she needed him to know that he was wrong.

-Don't do that. - She said sternly, but not retrieving her hand.–Don't come here, and take the blame for things that were out of everyone's control. It won't help. It'll only make things worse. - She rasped out. –It's not your fault. If anything, I should have been more alert…-

-Sarah, you're not to blame for anything…-

-And neither should you. - She added abruptly. -Or Dr. Manning, or Dr. Halstead. No one is to blame. This was beyond all of us.-

Connor looked at the floor, his hands still holding Sarah's uninjured one.

-I wanted to kill him. - He revealed, surprising her. –I wanted to rip him apart. If it wasn't for Halstead, I…- he cut himself off. -I want to make him pay. I want to make him suffer.-

-I don't.-

He looked at her, confused. –Sarah, he hurt you. He tried to…-

-I know. Yes, I want him to pay for what he did. He must pay. He can't go around doing what he did, but I don't want revenge. It won't help me… or him, or anyone. I just want justice to be made. If I let myself feel that kind of hatred, I know I won't come back from it.-

Connor shook his head, angry. She saw the muscles in his jaw clench, and she instantly retrieved her hand from his. He noticed her get a little scared, and relaxed.

-I just… don't understand how you can let this go.-

-I'm not letting it go. I can't. This will haunt me for the rest of my life. - She said, a few tears forming in her eyes. –But I won't let myself get wrapped in it. I have to try and move on. It's the first step for me to be okay. - She wasn't sure if what she had said was the right way to handle it, but she felt at peace with her decision. She didn't want to hold anger with her forever.

Connor didn't look at her, but he seemed calmer now. Sarah knew that this wasn't easy on anyone, but she had to try her best to keep everyone at peace.

-If that's what you want, that's what I'll do. - He said finally looking at her. Sarah saw the same sincerity she usually saw in his eyes and sighed, grateful.

-Thank you.-

-I still think you have to talk to a psychologist.-

Sarah sighed. –I'm not sure I'm ready for that yet.-

-I know, Sarah, but it's important. Like you said, it's one of the first steps for you to be okay.-

Sarah grimaced. It's not that she didn't liked psychologists. In fact, she respected their profession entirely… but she was scared of what she might feel reliving what had happened. She felt scared of opening up to someone she didn't know. She felt… ashamed.

-I can go with you if you want. - insisted Connor.

-No… it's okay, I'll go. But you have to promise me one thing.-

He looked at her, expectantly.

-Promise that you'll release me.-

Connor furrowed his brow. –Sarah, you're not ready to be released yet. You've only been here a few days…-

-I can move my arm now. - She insisted. –See? - She said moving it around. She felt a sting, and flinched a little, making Connor smile briefly. -My ribs are healing with the antibiotics, and I no longer need a breather. Keeping me here is a waste of time and money. I want to leave. - She said, decided. –The more I stay here, the more I think about it, and the worst I feel. I need to be somewhere else. I want to go home.-

Connor sighed. –Reese, I can't.-

-Please. - She insisted again, making his resolve falter. As a doctor, he knew that he couldn't make that decision. But Sarah was practically a doctor herself. If she was absolutely sure...

He sighed. -Can you walk on your own?-

-Yes.-

-Have you been doing you physical exercises every day?-

She nodded again.

-Fine. I'll release you this afternoon. But you have to see a psychologist today. I'll set your appointment at five. And you have to take your meds, and attend physiotherapy every day. And you definitely have to take a week off, understood?-

-Yes, Dr. Rhodes. - She said in a patient-like tone.

He smiled and drew a few hairs away from her face and tucked them behind her ear. She felt her heart pounding in her ears and a shiver run down her back. She saw him do what he did at the party: He kept staring at her lips, and she felt the air in her lungs decreasing, only that in a good way. She felt herself get nervous. It was only now that she noticed that her hair was a mess, and she was wearing a thin gown that surely didn't look at all appealing. She came out of her thoughts when he looked back up to her eyes again.

-Take care, okay Reese?-

She gulped and nodded.

-Don't forget, today at six. Appointment with Psychologist Alice Clarke.-

She nodded his way, and he left. She released air she didn't know she was holding and closed her eyes, bringing her arm up to cover her face. What was he doing to her? How could he make her feel this way? Dizzy and lightheaded… and at peace. What were his intentions towards her? Did he like her as well? She felt confused.

She lay back down thinking about what just had happened and started to mentally prepare for her upcoming appointment. Today was going to be one hell of a rollercoaster.

The hours went by and Sarah eventually talked with Alice Clarke. They discussed briefly what had happened and she insisted that they saw each other every week. Alice had mentioned the possibility of her having unwanted flashbacks and anxiety… all part of post-traumatic stress. She gave Sarah her number in case of an emergency, and wrote down a few tips of what to do if she felt anxious or stressed.

Sarah was drained both mentally and physically. By seven in the afternoon, she was released by Connor under the terms they had talked about, and she had asked April to head over to her apartment and get her some clean clothes and some hygiene products. When she got back, and after Sarah had showered, she insisted on driving her back to her apartment.

As they were leaving the hospital, Natalie and Will said goodbye and hugged her carefully. Maggie also came up to her as well as some other nurses and wished her well; Dr. Charles and Choi insisted that she called them if she needed anything, and even chief Goodwin gave her a few words of comfort. Everyone was there. She turned slightly and saw Connor resting on one of the faraway doorframes, wearing his OR clothes, smiling her way. Sarah returned the gesture and finally left.

April stayed a few hours with her, talking about nothing and everything and making sure that she felt okay. She knew she felt exhausted and wanted to clear her head and relax, so she left some time later and let her rest. A few minutes later, her phone vibrated, showing a message from Connor.

Did you get home okay?

She typed back slowly, using only her left hand. Yes. April just left. Thanks for everything.

Don't mention it. Everything okay with Clarke?

Sarah sighed. Yes. Gave me her number in case of an emergency.

Okay. Sleep well. Call me if you need anything.

Will do, thanks.

By ten thirty, she decided to redress her bandages and then to head up to bed. Her injuries started to cause her discomfort, so she took her meds and lied down, hoping that sleep would overcome her, but it didn't. She kept tossing and turning unable to feel herself comfortable. She walked around her apartment for a few minutes and then lied down again. She felt so tired, but unable to sleep. The incident still haunted her, but how couldn't it? She remembered everything distinctly: his smell, the color of his shirt, the flashing lights… she felt her brain replaying everything in slow motion.

She shook her head, turned on the lights and got up again, but she tripped with the covers and was brought down to her knees. Then everything turned black: she was brought down to her knees just like when he had slashed her arm. She felt it immediately start pulsing with pain. She then felt backwards, panic washing over her. She felt it. She felt his boot on his ribs, cracking them so that she couldn't breathe.

She gasped for air. Her lung. It had been pierced. She felt everything again: the fear, the hopelessness, the pain. The only difference was that there was no one here. She was supposed to be safe.

She started reassuring herself that she was fine. She tried her breathing exercises, but she couldn't control herself. Fear made her way into her veins, making her blood boil. He was there. She could feel it. He was around. He was going to finish what he had started.

She panicked and crawled through the wooden floor, gasping for air. Her eyes turned red, and some stitches stretched open from her arm and torso. She felt the wetness of her own blood stain her shirt, but she still kept crawling. She had to get away. She needed her phone and call for help.

Once she reached her living room, she retrieved her device and started punching numbers. She put her phone to her ear, but it didn't ring. She quickly dialed the number again, and this time he answered.

-Sarah? Are you okay?-

A hoarse breath was the only thing that left her mouth, alarming Connor.

-What is it? What's wrong?-

She gasped for air, difficultly letting the words out. –Help me. - She whispered.

-I'm coming over, okay? Don't hang up on me. - Sarah heard his frantic voice. She tried to warn him that it wasn't safe. That he was around, but couldn´t.

-Don't hang up, okay? Stay with me. Try to calm down. Try to breathe. - He then started imitating a breathing rhythm for her to follow, and that seemed to calm her more. Her stabilizing breath opened up her voice.

-H-he's here. He has come for me. - Realization hit her and she started crying.

-Everything's fine, sweetie. You're safe. - He comforted her.

She shook her head, wildly. –No! He's here… I felt it! - She felt anxiety begin to take over her again, and cried harder.

Just then, she heard the engine of a car outside the building. She heard a car door shut among the silence of the night, and footsteps begin to climb the stairs.

-Sarah, I'm coming up. What number is your apartment?-

The question seemed to distract her from her undesired thoughts.

-One sixteen, fourth floor.-

-Can you open the door for me? - She felt his breathing unstable, like if he were running.

She didn't respond. She felt something take over her and she quickly made her way to the door, getting it open after a few tries and flinging herself into Connor, crying hysterically, and disregarding the pain from the recently opened wounds.

Connor held her close to him, and they both let themselves fall to the ground.

-It's okay. - he said caressing her back, one hand holding the back of her head and getting lost between her curls.–It's okay, I'm here.-

She kept crying into his chest unable to control herself, holding onto him for dear life, so he carefully picked her up in his arms and walked into her room. He placed her carefully in her bed and started checking her injuries which turned out to be not that bad. He debated on taking her to the hospital, but he knew that might set her off again. As he started to leave for the bathroom and get a first aid kit, he felt her grab his arm.

-Sarah, I'm going to get a first aid kit, okay? I'm not leaving you.-

He quickly searched the bathroom for clean bandages, gauzes, and crept into the kitchen for a glass of water.

When he got back she had stopped crying, but was still curled up with her arms around herself.

-I'm going to redress your bandages, okay?-

He switched on the lamp light as well as the remaining ceiling ones, making her eyes squint.

-I need you to lay on your back. - He said as he rubbed his hands in alcohol. Once she complied, he sorted the bandages and gauzes. –I'm going to lift your shirt up a little bit and clean your stitches. This is going to hurt a little. - Sarah didn't answer, but once Connor applied the alcohol, she hissed, becoming more alert. She took in her whereabouts and noticed Connor's presence clearly for the first time. Her head was pounding, her ears ringing.

-What…-

-You had a panic attack. PTSD kind. You must have done something to have triggered it, remember what? - He asked calmly, trying to distract her from what he was doing.

-I… yes. I fell on my knees earlier. - She swallowed. -I remembered when…-

-I know. - He soothed. He then began working on her arm, re-bandaging it.

-All done. - He said, putting the first aid kit on her bedside table. He looked back at her, who was still curled up.

-I don't know what happened. - She whispered. –I was fine, and then all of the sudden…-

-Don't think about it. You went through severe exaltation, you need to rest.-

She felt tears forming in her eyes. –I can't. I tried, but I can't.-

Connor looked at the girl in front of her. She looked so fragile and so messed up. And none of it was her fault. She had simply been a victim. He felt anger crawl inside him put he pushed it away. She needed him right now. He looked at his watch: 2:43. It was late, but he knew he couldn't leave Sarah alone. He definitely shouldn't have released her in the first place. Not before a psych. evaluation. He stopped beating himself up when he heard Sarah crying silently.

-I'm staying the night. I'll be on the couch. Try to relax. -he finally said, turning off the lights. Sarah nodded but continued to cry to herself.

Connor kept awake hoping that Sarah would eventually fall asleep, but that wasn't the case. She carried on crying, and he felt something in his gut ache. He couldn't bear to hear her like that. After a few minutes, he got up from the couch and reached her room. He quietly crept under the covers and held her close to him. She continued to cry, balling his shirt in her fist, and Connor felt a wave of grief strike him.

-It's okay, baby. Let it out. - He said continuing to run his hand through her hair, trying to calm her down. –Just let it all out. I'm here, okay? I'm not leaving.-

-Thank you. - Sarah breathed out after a minute or two.

Connor couldn't help but kiss her temple. He wanted to keep her safe. Even if that meant staying up all night watching over her.

Touchy feely Dr. Rhodes... -w- What did you think?