Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto… Otherwise I would make this fic a Manga!
Wow! 17 reviews for the first chapter?! Maybe I should drop all the other fics and write just crack… … … XD Just joking. Expect the first chapter of After Death A War for this week-end! Now, enjoy!
"NARUTO!"
"Uh?"
"HURRY UP! COME HERE! YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT'S UP!"
"Uh… Ok! One minute! Well… See ya around, Mitsuwa-san!"
"OK! IT'S DECIDED! UZUMAKI NARUTO, YOU WILL BE MY MAN!"
A.W.C.B.G.L.T.!
Chapter2: WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING HERE?!
Naruto had followed Ino for a good amount of meters. They stopped in front of the changing rooms. He saw Ino, Hinata and TenTen talking with another girl… That he didn't know, but that looked… Incredibly familiar to him. And when she turned around… He snorted.
"Come on, Sakura-chan. Drop my Sexy-no-jutsu…" Commented Naruto.
"I KNEW IT! GIVE ME 20 BUCKS, TENTEN!" TenTen snorted and handed Ino the amount of money. Naruto blinked. And the girl approached him, her hands crossed behind her back.
"Thanks for the compliment, but… Who's Sakura?"
"???" Naruto observed the girl in front of him. She was almost identical to his Sexy no Jutsu… Only that she had no whiskers, and she was more slender compared to his transformation, and a little taller. Her voice was slightly different as well, more childish. Now, Sakura had seen that technique enough times to not forget about it. She knew every detail of it. But for sure Sakura would have never forgot about the whiskers. So, that meant………… "OO … … … YOU'RE REAL?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!"
"Is that so unbelievable? I know that I'm cute, but you're exaggerating…" The girl giggled a little, while the Konoha girls sweatdropped. Naruto, in the meanwhile, kept on staring at her. The, she offered him her right hand. Naruto, after a couple of seconds, grabbed it, gently.
DAMN! SHE GIVES THE SAME SENSATIONS TOO!
"My name is Honaru Konoka." The girl shook Naruto's hand a little. And he noticed that the Konoha girls were snickering. What… "But friends call me Naruko." Naruto fell to the ground making an imprint of his body in the sand.
What… The… Fuck…
"Naruko, guess what? His name is Uzumaki Naruto!" Said Ino, grinning, while Naruto was slowly getting back on his feet.
"Uh? Really?! Incredible!" She pointed her right index finger at him, observing him like he was her long lost twin. In the meanwhile, Naruto was reeeeeeeeeeeally worried… Just 'the question' was left, now.
"… Naruko-san…" If she says no, I sigh in relief. If she says yes, I run away screaming like a sissy.
"Yes?
"… Do you like ramen?"
"I LURVE RAMEN!"
I run away screaming like a sissy. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
And with that, Naruto was off. Naruko blinked a couple of times while staring at his disappearing form. In the meanwhile, Ino and TenTen were laughing veeeery loud, while Hinata just giggled. She didn't want to laugh that much at Naruto's expenses.
"Ahahah… So, Naruko-chan, what do you think about our blonde friend?" Asked Ino, wiping away the tears from her eyes.
"Well… He seems a nice guy. And he was cute as well." She replied, giggling a little. "I think that I will take my time to know him better…"
"Know him… Better?" Inner Hinata: IDIOTS! YOU JUST CREATED ANOTHER OPPONENT ON THE PATH OF OUR CRUSADE OF LOVE!
In the meanwhile, Sasuke was observing everything by under his beach umbrella, smirking.
"Hmph… What an idiot… Getting scared by such a simple thing… A girl…" He said, drinking a bit of his soda.
"It's always better that not observing the female side of the ninja population at all… Foolish little brother…"
Sasuke shot out all the soda in his mouth like a cannon, giving a poor random guy passing a good shower. He turned around… And there he was…
"UCHIHA ITACHI!"
"Foolish little brother… No need to shout my name…" Said Itachi. The missing nin was currently wearing a black and red pair of swimming trunks and a pair of Ray-Nin sunglasses. And he was embracing two hot ninja babes.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!?!?!?!"
"The Akatsuki managed to persuade that cheap bastard of Kakuzu to hand over the money for this vacation. So, here we are."
"YES! AND THIS IS THE DAY YOU DIE!"
"Foolish little brother… Don't you remember the rules of this vacation?"
"!"
"Fights aren't allowed, so…"
"…" If he says that, I run away screaming like a sissy…
"Even if I will be in your eyesight for a whole month, there's nothing you can do about it."
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!"
And Sasuke was off. Itachi just shook his head.
"Foolish little brother… That's not screaming like a sissy. That's screaming like a little girl."
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Naruto woke up the following morning with an enormous head-ache. After destroying two pairs of scissors trying to cut away Lee's eyebrows, he and Neji had decided to go to sleep. But his sleep was disturbed. It was like… Something was going to happen. Something shocking, incredible… Something that would scare him. He got out of bed and decided that it would have been a good idea to have breakfast. He put on an orange t-shirt and a pair of blue broadshorts.
The breakfast was to be eaten in an enormous restaurant, with an enormous buffet inside. You could find anything. And the magic repeated itself at lunch and dinner, with different plates, of course. He decided to go just for milk, fried eggs and a couple of chocolate muffins. He sat down… And he noticed that he wasn't the only one that had decided to have breakfast that early in the morning.
A girl. With green hair, white skin, and green eyes. She was wearing a white t-shirt with the pattern of a blue and orange wave, and a pair of green shorts. She was petite, but really cute. She noticed his presence as well, and she waved a little to him, smiling. Naruto waved back. Then, he noticed that she had made his way to his table.
"Mind If I sit here? It's a bit lonely, here…"
"Not at all." Replied Naruto, then returned his attention to his eggs, with more manners than usual. It seemed that ramen was the only thing that made him lose control of his hands and mouth. "By the way, I'm Naruto."
"Saria. Nice to meet you." She said smiling. "You're from the leaf?"
"Yep. What about you?" Naruto had, incredibly, learned to swallow before saying anything.
"I'm from a small village. The Hidden Forest." She got a sip of her milk. "Not very known, but it's a beautiful place to live into."
"I'm sure it is." Eh… Maybe this last phrase was a bit too corny…
The girl giggled. She had finished her breakfast, it seemed. "Well, it's been a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Naruto-kun. I hope to see you around."
Naruto blushed a little. The suffix didn't bother him, usually… But that girl had something that made it charming… But before he could resume his breakfast, he received a glomp attack from behind. And he turned slightly to see the head of Mitsuwa Kyoko on his shoulder.
"Hi, Naruto!"
"M-Mitsuwa-san… Glad to see you're alright…"
"Awww! Cut the formalism! Just call me Kyoko or Kyoko-chan, if you want!"
"Ehm… Ok… Kyoko-chan…" Naruto was observing her with a raised eyebrow, and that meant… What the hell?
"You know, Naru… I was wondering…"
"Hey, Naruto-san!"
Mitsuwa turned around ready to glare at, choke and kill whoever ruined that solo moment with her stalli… EHM love-interest… Another girl?! This one with blonde hair tied in pigtails. She sat beside him like nothing had happened.
"N-Naruko-san…"
"Yesterday you ran away so fast that I couldn't even ask your room's number! I… Uh?" Naruko noticed Kyoko on Naruto's back. "Hello, there!"
"… Hello…" Replied Kyoko, trying to make her voice as harsh as possible. Naruko didn't give her much thought.
"As I was saying, I would like to know you better! You're a fun person to be around, you know." Saying that, she smiled. Kyoko had to restrain her killing intent. Damn it. You can't get interested into such a piece of eye-candy that competition immediately shows up. But she had to play along, for the moment.
"You know? I was about to ask the saaaaaaaame thing…" She said, grinning deviously. Well, I was going to ask him on a date, but… This will have to do for the moment. "We could exchange informations and such, for a start…"
"Ok. I begin." Said Naruto. He drank a bit of milk and cleared his throat. "My name's Uzumaki Naruto. I like ramen, people who are nice to me and my friends, and… Well, I think that summarizes all of that. I dislike bastards with stick up their rear ends…" Sasuke sneezed very hard while taking a shower. "And the three minutes for the ramen to be ready. Dreams… Being Hokage, I suppose. Hobbies… Gardening."
"Ok! My turn!" Practically screamed Naruko. In the meanwhile, more and more people was coming down to have breakfast. "My name is Honaru Konoka, but friends call me Naruto! I like ramen as well, and interesting people! I dislike dark and mean people. My hobby is drawing!"
DAMN! SHE HAS THINGS IN COMMON WITH HIM! Yellow level danger. "My turn. Ah-ehm." Kyoko cleared her throat. "I'm Mitsuwa Kyoko. I like training, and meeting strong people. I dislike weak and ugly people." I'll have to be careful to not say anything to his friends, by the way… He cares for them. "My hobbies are improving my skills and reading novels."
"Well, you sure are interesting characters, the both of you!" Commented Naruko. Naruto smiled scratching the back of his head, and Kyoko smiled as well, but with a hint of superiority. "Ohhh! And look at that panda, overthere!"
Naruto and Kyoko sweatdropped. How could a panda be in a hotel… They turned nonetheless… But while Kyoko just saw a guy with two black circles around his eyes walking with a blonde girl with four pigtails and a brown haired guy, Naruto recognized the Kazekage!
"Gaara! Temari!"
"!" Kyoko's eyes widened. HE KNEW ANOTHER HOT GIRL! AND THIS ONE REPRESENTES AN ORANGE LEVEL TREAT!
"Ohhh… Naruto-san knows the panda?" Commented Naruko. Kyoko sweatdropped.
… Ok, let's drop the level. Let's go back to green.
"Naruto… Good to see you." Replied Gaara.
"Hey, there." Temari waved a little, while the third individual just raised his right hand.
"It's great to see you guys, but where's Kankuro?"
"I'm right here."
"…" Naruto stared. "OH MY GOD! YOU'RE WITHOUT FACE PAINT!!! And…" Naruto observed that Gaara was missing his gourd. "How come you're not carrying around your gourd, Gaara?"
"… One, because fighting is not allowed. Two… We're on a beach, Naruto."
"Ah. Yes. Ahahah…" Naruto grinned sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head.
"Uhm…" Temari was observing him. And she had to admit: with his hair down, and without wearing orange all over his body, the boy was good-looking. "Summer is an incredible thing. It even forced you to get out of that black and orange horror you call battle-suit."
"HEY!" Then, Temari placed a hand on his head and ruffled his hair.
"If you want to get undressed a little bit more, you know where to find me…"
"EH?!"
Kyoko was almost crushing a part of the table. GRRRR! SHE'S SO FORWARD THAT A TRAIN WOULD LOSE AGAINST HER! "Naruko! Let's go and meet Naruto's friends!"
"We get to meet the panda? Wow!" The two girls approached Naruto, and Kyoko grabbed his right shoulder.
"Naru, why don't you introduce us?" Asked the mist nin.
"Oh? Ah, right! Girls, these are Gaara, Temari and Kankuro. They're sibling. Guys, they are Kyoko and…"
"One of your Kage Bunshin henged into that technique." Commented Kankuro, shaking his head.
"Ehm… I'm not a Kage Bunshin. My name is Honaru Konoka, but friends call me Naruko."
"…"
"…"
"…"
The sand siblings blinked. Yes, Gaara too. And then they went 'Scream' mode. Yes, Gaara too.
"YOU'RE REAL?!?!?!?!?!?!?!"
"Uff… Naruto-san, persuade them…" Said Naruko, pouting a little. Kyoko and Naruto sweatdropped. Naruto a bit more, because it was rare to see Gaara displaying emotions.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
After the introductions, Naruto, Kyoko, Naruko and the sand siblings walked to the beach… And they noticed that there was a big crowd of people around a certain point of the beach. He spotted Kakashi along them.
"Kakashi-sensei, what's happening?"
"Ah, Naruto." Kakashi closed his book. "It's the first event. You see, this evening the 'Opening fire' will take place. A big party on the beach. But before that, there's this event. The organizers of all the events and the challenges of the month are arriving. Our… Animation, we could say."
"Cool! I wonder how they will look like!" And just as Naruto said that, a ship appeared. And it seems that music was coming from it.
So if we all come together… We know what to do…
We all come together just to say we love you…
"? What the…"
"The voice is familiar, hn?"
The comment came out of the mouth of no other than… Uchiha Sasuke.
"That's because you know them. Sigh…" DAMN IT! DAMN IT! DAMN IT! I WILL HAVE HIM AROUND FOR A WHOLE MONTH AT PRACTICALLY EVERY HOUR OF THE DAY!
And if we all come together, we know what to do…
Five figures jumped out of the boat once it reached the shore, impacting a palm. They were all wearing black cloaks with red clouds on it.
"… IS THIS A JOKE?!"
"We all come together just for you!"
While the Akatsuki members continued their danced introduction (Go watch the flash from Hellpoemer on Deviantart), Naruto was charging a Raseshuriken and he was about to lunge at one of them when Kakashi grabbed the back of his broad-shorts. Naruto didn't struggle, otherwise the things would have fallen, and the whole beach would have discovered… THE SECRET!
"Naruto, stop. Remember the rules."
"B-BUT THEY'RE AKATSUKI!"
"They paid." Kakashi kept on reading his book.
"BUT THEY'RE ALL S-CLASS MISSING NINS!"
"They paid."
"B-BUT… THEY'RE WEARING BLACK WITH THIS HEAT!" WHAT THE HELL DID I JUST SAY?!
"They paid."
"…" Naruto calmed down. Then, he raised his right hand and right index finger. "Ok. Just one question, though."
"What?" Kakashi flipped a page of his book.
Naruto lowered his hand and forearm, pointing at something. "The one acting like the leader and the woman. How in the hell can they be completely covered by shadows when it's not even 9 AM? On a beach? In summer?"
"…" Kakashi glanced in the direction pointed by Naruto. He sweatdropped. He was right. The two figures were shadowed. And the leader suddenly pulled out a mic from his right sleeve.
"Thank you, thank you. Maybe some of you already know us." Some boos and death treats from the crowd. "That's what I was thinking. Now, we'll be your events and challenges organizers for the whole month. Be reminded that often we will ask some of you to be judges in particular events, like the cooking contest."
"CHOJI! DON'T DROOL! YOU'LL MAKE THE SEA AN ENORMOUS SPIT!"
"One more thing before we go. If you see an enormous suspicious looking plant somewhere in the hotel… Run." And with that, the music ended and the Akatsuki was off.
"… Ok. That was weird." This was Kyoko's comment. She had always thought Hoshigaki Kisame to be some kind of homicidal freak… BUT HE LOOKED LIKE AN IDIOT!
"Sigh… A whole month… And… HEY! WAIT A MINUTE!" Suddenly, Sasuke's eyes widened. He had just realized something. I can't kill him because I can't fight him, but… What if an accident happened to the pooooooooor Itachi… Like a hairdryer falling in his bath-tube… WHILE HE IS HAVING A BATH! "MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!"
"… Kakashi-sensei…" Said Naruto, observing Sasuke's behaviour.
"Yes?"
"… I almost got killed trying to bring back… This guy?"
"… Yes."
"…"
"Aw, come on, Naru! Don't think about such things! Let's go and play a little!" Said Kyoko, grabbing his arm one more time.
"Yeeeah! Race to the water!" And with that, Naruko was off. Naruto shook his head smirking, then he ran after her.
"Ah! Don't think you can outrun me!" Kyoko stood there a little disappointed. That wasn't what she meant for 'playing'…
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While Naruto played water-volley with Kyoko and Naruko, the leaf girls plus Temari were sunbathing, relaxing… Well, not all of them were relaxing. Hinata was in a sitting position, and she was staring at Naruto. Sakura was on his stomach, apparently enjoying the warmth of the sun, but she often glanced in his direction. And the glance turned into a glare for one second, precisely the second when Naruko practically fell on Naruto because she was trying to get a hold of the ball… The plastic one.
"Hinata, what's wrong?" Suddenly asked TenTen, noticing her staring.
"N-Nothing… I'm just…" Inner Hinata: YOU ASK AS WELL?! ARE YOU DEAF/DUMB?! I'M WORRIED ABOUT MY NARUTO-KUN !
"Come on, weapon-girl, it's so obvious…" Temari got into a sitting position as well. "She's worried about Naruto… Or better… About him and those two girls."
"And don't think I didn't notice your set of glares, Sakura…" This time was Ino the one who made a comment, smirking at her pink-haired friend.
"I don't know what you're talking about." She replied, flatly and quickly.
"Good reflexes. But I know what I'm talking about…" Ino turned in Naruto's direction, observing him behind her sun-glasses. "After all, in these last years Naruto has turned into a wonderful piece of eye-candy. Only that… He's always hidden by that hideous black-orange symbiotic thing that he calls a jumpsuit."
"I have to agree with you, Ino." Commented TenTen, glancing in the blonde's direction. "Tall, muscular… And with the summer, his features seem even enhanced."
"And I've already admitted that he's cute long ago, right?" Temari, this time. "Too bad that he's so immature…"
"Ahh, don't be like that, Temari-san… Maybe he compensates for that with something else…" This comment from Ino made Hinata alarmed.
Inner Hinata: HOLY SHIT! THIS IS BAD! THEY KNOW!
"… Ahahahahahah!" Suddenly, all the girls minus Hinata began to laugh. "As if!"
Hinata sighed in relief. They were just making hypothesis… Good that she was the only one who knew that the hypothesis was a reality. Otherwise… IT WOULD BE HELL FOR HER LOVE-DREAMS. Suddenly, a voice began to resonate around the beach.
"Ok, guys! It's your buddy Kisame, here! I warn you that in fifteen minutes it will begin… What? I'm talking about the Glass-sculptures contest! Let's meet under the palms on the shore of the beach! Peace!"
"… I still can't understand how in the hell can a S-class missing nin be such an idiot…" Commented Kyoko.
"Glass-sculptures? Never heard of such a thing on a beach… It seems interesting, though. Wanna go and see, girls?" Suggested the blonde shinobi.
"Why not?! Let's go, Naruto-san!"
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A large crowd had gathered in front of the palms, witnessing the presence of the two judges: Itachi and Deidara.
"Ok! Now we'll explain the rules! Yeah…" Said Kisame.
"You will take part into this contest in couples of people." Said Itachi. "And I'll explain why. Glass sculptures means…"
"One. You have to make a nice figure with the sand. Yeah…" Deidara pointed to the ground, to a figure that looked like a shark. Then, Itachi began to make handseals.
"Two. You have to turn the sand to glass with a Katon ninjutsu. Katon! Goukakkyu no Jutsu!"
Itachi used the Uchiha clan Katon signature technique, and in a swift seconds the messy shark was turned to glass. A lot of people applauded.
"We will be the judges. We will consider the shape of the figure, the excess of glass as in sand turned to glass that isn't the one used for the figure, and of course you'll gain many bonus points if you manage to create a sculpture that rises from the ground. You're in pairs because, of course, not all the ninjas know Katon, and not everyone is an artist. You have 45 minutes to find a partner and finish. It starts…" Began Itachi.
"Now." Finished Deidara.
Naruto, as a first reaction, shook his head.
"I'm soooo not going to enter the contest…" He said, smirking.
"Why, Naru?"
"One. I don't know any Katon jutsu. Two. I already know who will win."
"But I need a Katon user." Naruto turned around. There it was. Gaara. "And I doubt that Sasuke will agree."
"Ah! The panda! I know Katon, mister panda!" Everyone sweatdropped, at Naruko's comment.
"Ehm… Ok. Come with me."
"…" I'M SOOOOO NOT GOING TO LET THAT CLONE GET MORE POINTS IN NARUTO'S SIGHT! "Ehm… I think I'll enter the competition, Naru! Cheer up for me!" Commented Kyoko.
"Eh… Okay." But they don't stand a chance against Gaara…
"KABUTO! ROLL YOURSELF IN THE SAND!"
"?"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Naruto was observing while Deidara and Itachi observed the sculptures. Soon would have been the turn of Sasuke.
"Not participating, Naruto?"
"Uh? Ah! Saria-chan…"
Naruto didn't even hear her approaching him. So silent… Maybe it was due to her petite forms. But she had her curves. Not very developed in the bust area, just a B-cup, but she had a nice figure. And veeeeery nice legs.
"Not an artist?" She asked.
"And not a Katon user. I'm a Fuuton type. And you?"
"Boring. And… I'm a earth/water type." She replied, smiling.
"Eh… I guess it's to be expected. You're from the hidden forest, after all…" He said smirking. The girl smirked back, and she punched him slightly on top of his head.
"What are you saying? That we look all the same to you?" She said, feigning irritation. Naruto grinned.
"I wouldn't know. After all, you're the first forest-nin I've ever met…"
"Eheheh… You're right. Oh, look. They're about to examine people you know."
"Uh? Oh, right."
Itachi and Deidara had arrived in front of Kyoko's team sculpture. It was beautiful gothic castle.
"Uhmmm… Good. Very good…" Said Itachi.
"And with the flame you managed to burn the sticks used to keep it together before it turned to glass…" Continued Deidara. "Too bad that the remnants are still there…"
"Eheheh… Maybe… Bats? After all, it looks a little like Dracula's castle…" Tried to say Kyoko, but Itachi and Deidara were already moving to the next sculpture… Sasuke's one… Kabuto trapped in a crystal body, all burned and full of smoke.
"… Foolish little brother…" Said Itachi, shaking his head. Sasuke glared at him.
"Good idea, though. The pain and the anguish are evident in the sculpture…"
Hell! He has been enveloped into boiling glass… Thought Naruto, sweatdropping. Itachi and Deidara reached the last competitors… Gaara and Naruko.
"Oh…"
"Very good indeed."
The sculpture was an enormous portrait of Gaara and Naruto fighting each other. The fighters were bleeding, their clothes ripped, and they were staring at each other panting. But… The sculpture was still made of sand.
"How come you still haven't turned it into glass?"
"Because we wanted to show you!"
"?"
"?"
Deidara and Itachi raised their heads. Naruko had jumped high in the air, and she was holding her hands in the tiger hand-seals.
"Katon! Karyuu-endan!"
"!"
"!"
"!"
Everyone's eyes widened at that… The girl knew and had enough chakra to use the most powerful of the Katon techniques? In a few seconds, the portrait became of glass. A lot of people clapped, while Deidara and Itachi nodded.
"First prize." They said together.
DAMN IT! THAT BITCH WON! Kyoko's thoughts.
Gaara walked and Naruko skipped towards Naruto.
"See, Naruto-san?! I won!"
"Eheheh… Good work, Naruko-chan." He said, patting her head like she was an older sister.
"OMG! THEN SHE'S REAL?"
"?" Naruto turned around… And he stared. Stared. Stared. Stared. And stared… At Zabuza and Haku?! "OMFG! ZOOOOOOMBIES!"
"Hello, Naruto." Said Haku.
"Yes, we're supposed to be dead… You see, it's a fun story involving some pepsi and a bunch of pink rhinos…"
"WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING HERE?!"
"AND DON'T BE LATE, THIS EVENING! WE'RE GONNA DANCE!"
Continue…
In the next chapter…
The Konoha boys start hating the Nara clan. The girls all over Naruto. And a dark evil approaches… THE 'YOU MUST WEAR THIS PARTICULAR PIECE OF SWIMMING WEAR' DAY! STAY TUNED!