Sorry for the delay! I was on finals, but I'm finally free to continue the story. I hope you like this chapter, enjoy!
"What they hell do you mean you said 'you needed time to think'?!"
Sarah had been inside her apartment all day, failing to show up at the hospital and not answering anyone's calls. Yesterday had hit her hard. She didn't know why on earth she had reacted the way she had when Connor asked her to be his girlfriend. It's not that she hadn't been expecting it: she knew very well the direction in which their 'relationship' was going… but hearing him say the word girlfriend out loud… It unsettled her. No. It scared her shitless.
"I don't know April. It was the first thing that came out, I swear." She said over the phone, after calling the only person that could talk some sense into her at the moment.
Sarah heard her sigh. "Look, Sarah. I know you have some issues you need help solving, and what you experienced with Joey hurt you. I understand that. What I don't understand is why you would push away someone who has gone above and beyond trying to make you happy and to prove he cares about you."
Sarah scratched the back of her neck, tears welling up as she replayed the scene in her head.
"I love you, Sarah Reese, and I have to ask: would you do me the honor of being my girlfriend?"
She felt something in her throat get stuck at the words that left his mouth. Girlfriend? Like officially? Part of her wanted to scream in joy and the other wanted to run: Run away and hide someplace where she could never be found. She felt like a deer caught in headlights.
Her daze was interrupted after about a minute by Connor, who now looked dead serious.
"Sarah? Did you hear what I-"
"I heard you."
He nodded, disappointed, his head lowering slightly. Sarah felt something in her gut twitch, like if she had slapped him hard across the face. She felt so guilty. She tried to think of something to mend the new predicament, but words started clouding her mind.
"I just… need time to think about it." she said finally, kicking herself mentally when he noticed his expression worsen. Why did she do that? Ruining the night and probably their relationship was not was she had in mind for that night. But there was no unsaying what she had said. There was no turning back time. She had screwed up big time with the possibility of no amendment.
"I thought you wanted this." He said confused and slightly cross.
"I…" The faint whisper grew quiet. She honestly didn't know how to respond to that. Did she want this? If so, she would've said yes right away, wouldn't she? What on earth was holding her back?
"It's okay. I get it. You need time to think." He said trying to be understanding, yet anger and disappointment escorted every word.
"I'm so sorry." She gulped. "Believe me when I say this isn't about you. You've done everything right… This is something that I have to work on. I need to think. My last relationship-"
"Is this because of him?" He asked referring to Joey, his voice loud, emphasizing the last word.
Sarah sighed. "In a way, yeah." She nodded. "I need to work on trusting others, but mostly in trusting myself."
Connor sighed. "I'd never hurt you, Sarah. Not intentionally." He said to no avail. He searched her eyes one last time and saw hurt and guilt. "Look. I'd very much like to be with you, and keep going out with you. I can't deny that I want something more serious. More… official. I want you to be mine." He said almost pleading. "But I'll wait. If that's what you need, I'll wait for you. I just… don't think I can go out with you as if nothing happened. I need you to be sure of this. I can't just play along to something that will lead to nothing. I need time to think now as well."
"Sarah Reese, are you listening to me?!"
April's incessant voice over the phone brought her back to reality. "What? What is it?"
"I've asked you at least three times what happened next."
The med student sighed. "We left and I dropped him over at his house. We didn't speak much on the way back." She said, running a hand through her locks.
"That's understandable." Said April. "You have to talk to him, Sarah."
"And say what? That I'm still not sure? I don't want to hurt him more than I already have." She paused. "I'm not an easy person to love." She concluded, a tear running free.
"Both of us know that's not true." replied April reassuringly. "You're a great person, Sarah, and loving you is easy. The problem here is that you're afraid of getting hurt again, and hurting someone else. But you don't have to be. Girl, that's what relationships are about. Hell, that's what life's about. Of trusting again, and loving, and feeling. You can't deny yourself that forever."
Silence set between them.
"Sure, you might get hurt again. But that's why I'm here for. And so is Maggie and Nat. We got your back, Sarah. You just have to let yourself take that step. Besides, Connor is a good guy. He'd never hurt you the way Joey did, I can bet my life on that."
Sarah gulped audibly. "I guess you're right."
"Damn right I am."
Sarah laughed a little and dried up her tears with the back of her hand.
"Do you love him?" April cautiously asked.
Sarah pondered her question a few seconds before she released a breath she didn't know she was holding. "I do." She said finally. She furrowed her brow at her own certainty and smiled. "I really do."
"Well, we have to do something about that, now won't we?"
Sarah checked her watch: 3:35 p.m.
"I don't think he'd want to see me today, April. It's his birthday and he said he needed some time to think as well. I have to respect that."
"Hey, I'm not saying to go ahead and be disrespectful, but the more time it passes, the worse you'll both feel. You won't know unless you try."
Sarah bit her lip. She was right. She needed to do this for both of them. She wanted to.
"How come you always manage to make me see sense?"
"It's a gift. I come from a long line of witches." She joked, making Sarah chuckle.
"Thanks, April. I mean it."
"Don't thank me yet." She said. "Come on, let's go get your man." She said in a sassy voice.
After Sarah hung up she waited not too long before April actually showed at her apartment. Both drove to Connor's house, April trying to give her some sort of encouraging and support. Once they arrived, Sarah exited the car, and rushed to ring the doorbell several times, her pulse pounding in her head.
Connor opened the door annoyed by the insistence, his expression falling slightly when he noticed her. But that only made Sarah surer of what she wanted to tell him. She never wanted to be the reason of him looking that way again.
"I was scared." She started. "I was afraid of hurting, myself and you. I didn't want to risk how things were going between us, but that's not what you wanted. You want something more serious. More 'official'." She paused. Connor tried to speak but Sarah didn't let him. "I was an idiot. I should've seen beyond my own interests and focused on yours too. I have failed you again, and I know that I will continue to do so. That's who I am. But I also know that I'll try my best not to. I'll try to make you happy, and I'll try to be my best with you."
Connor's expression softened. Sarah paused, allowing him to talk. "So… does this mean…?"
"It's a yes from me. A confused, scared, but very sure yes. I want to be with you." She swallowed. "Because I love you."
Connor's eyebrows shot upwards, clearly taken aback.
"I love you, Connor Rhodes, and I'd love to be your girlfriend." She said, her voice uneasy, tears threating to fall from her eyes. "And I'd love to be yours."
Connor caressed the side of her face, relief painted on his features. "I love you too, baby." He said sighing and taking her into his arms. Sarah couldn't stop the tears that fell. She didn't want to.
Connor drew apart slightly and kissed her heartily, Sarah melting into the kiss. They broke apart after a few seconds, Connor wiping her tears with his thumb. "I'd wait for you always." He whispered into her hair before kissing the side of her head.
An exaggerated clearing of a throat made them aware of their surroundings. Both turned and spotted April's head popping from the driver's window. "So? Are you guys a couple now?" she asked cunningly.
Both laughed slightly. "I guess we are." Said Connor happily, holding Sarah by the waist lightly.
April fist-pumped the air making both laugh.
"So I guess now it's back to reality, huh?" Sarah wondered.
"Not quite yet."
Sarah furrowed her brow, looking at her boyfriend.
Connor looked back sneakily. "Well it's my birthday today and I wanted to spend the day with you and the guys. So since it's the weekend… I rented a cabin a few hours away from Chicago."
"You rented a cabin." She said rather than asked. "But what about the hospital and our schedules?"
"Already taken care of with the dean." He said with a shrug as if it was not a big deal. "We all need a little vacation. I just hoped you made up your mind before we missed our chance to be there and confirm the reservation."
"And when exactly do we have to be there?"
"In about-" he paused to check his clock. "Three hours."
Sarah grinned and shook her head disbelievingly. "You're unbelievable. You seriously rented a cabin?"
"Yeah. Cabin for 7. You, Maggie, April, Nat, Will, Ethan and I. Oh, and the baby. So I guess I better start making a few calls." He said drawing out his phone.
"What makes you sure they'll say yes to going?"
Connor looked at her, sideways. "Believe me, they'll say yes."
Sarah closed her eyes as the wind hit her face and gushed through her hair. She enjoyed rides like this, where she could appreciate the trees passing the window by, the sun shined bright and music blasted from the radio. She felt ecstatic. She felt at home and was definitely excited: She loved everything outdoors related, so what better than to spend a weekend in the woods with her friends and recently new boyfriend.
They had all agreed to Connor's plan. Maggie, April and Ethan went together on Maggie's van along with most of the supplies, like food, drinks, blankets and what not. Will and Nat travelled with the baby, constantly making stops along the way to tend to his needs, and Sarah and Connor moved on his black Audi.
Sarah sighed happily and adjusted her position. She replayed yesterday in her mind, hugging her knees and sinking slightly in the car's seat in the process.
"I love you, gorgeous."
The declaration made her stop what she was thinking and look over at Connor, his gaze set on the road, sunglasses on. He looked so content it made her want to yell out loud.
"I love you too." She settled on saying. "So much."
He took her hand in his and traced patterns in the back of it, something that she now knew he did when he was happy or at peace. He then brought it back to his lips before glancing at her quickly and flashing one of his perfect smiles her way.
Connor's phone ringed a few seconds later, Sarah rolling her eyes and answering for him when she recognized Will's number. It was the fifth time he called to say they were stopping somewhere.
"Hello?"
"Rhodes?"
"It's Reese, Will. Everything okay?"
"Oh. Hey Sarah. Yeah, we're just stopping at a gas station so we can get some things for Nat."
"Again?" she whined, evoking a grin from Connor. "Will, you do know we have to be there in like 20 minutes or else the reservation's canceled, right?"
"We'll meet you there, okay?"
Sarah heard a few mumbles from the other line. "Wha- You want a hotdog with onions? Who on earth puts onions on a hotdog? Honestly, woman, weren't the cravings supposed to stop when- Ouch!"
Sarah shook her head and sighed at the banter. "Fine, we'll see you there. Hurry up." She said before she hung up and put the phone in the counter between their seats.
"What was that all about?"
"Will and Nat will meet us there. They stopped at a gas station to get something for Nat. Again." She said a little angry, resting her chin on her balled fist while she stared out the window.
Connor laughed. "Sweetheart, relax. The cabin isn't going anywhere. I'll just make a few calls to make sure we're on our way and everything will be settled."
"You're right." Sarah sighed and focused on the skyline, getting lost on the shapes of the clouds.
They talked and laughed some more before they finally reached the woods. "There it is." said Connor lowering his head so he could see clearly through the windshield: A beautiful log cabin stood in front of them, standing strong above a piece of ground near a transparent-clear lake. It looked modern, yet very suitable for them, with a fire pit on the front and some hammocks tied on nearby trees and a row of kayaks aligned near the lakeside.
"Oh my gosh, it's beautiful." she said in awe, exiting the car quickly to get a better view.
Maggie's van was parked sideways, April and Ethan walking back and forth from it to the cabin with supplies, so they both said hi and helped bring the remaining things inside. Connor stepped aside to talk to the caretaker and arrange their stay while the others continued bringing their stuff inside. When Sarah first put a foot inside, she stopped midway at the entry door, Ethan almost running into her. She looked around impressed: There was a spacious kitchen and living room with the ultimate technology, contemporary lamps hanging, a mini bar, multiple sofas, a chimney, and a picture window from the floor to the wooden ceiling. An enormous plasma TV hanged above the chimney. Trees of all shapes and colors crowded the main view, conjuring a hitched breath from her.
"Amazing, right?" Ethan said, understanding her captivation and making his way past her carrying a box of apples to the kitchen. He smiled at the look on her face and then left for more supplies. Sarah was left alone for a few seconds holding a brown paper bag full of vegetables to herself, but they were long enough for Connor to walk by briskly and kiss her cheek lightly before heading to the kitchen as well. He winked at her quickly as everyone else started crowding the living room.
"I'm telling you, they won't be here for at least another hour." April betted Maggie.
"Give them a break, they have a baby." Ethan said, opening a beer and handing one to Connor. He offered the girls one, but all refused.
"Yeah, except they never stopped for Owen. They stopped to use the bathroom, and buy chips, and fill the car with gas, and…"
"Okay, April we get it." Said Connor with a smile.
"What's the rush for them to get here anyway?" asked Ethan, taking a chug of his beer.
Maggie and April exchanged a quick look. "We need to discuss a few things, and we need Nat to be here." Said Maggie finally with a suspicious gleam in her eye.
"Women things." Added April with a squint. Maggie rolled her eyes instead of smacking her forehead.
Sarah rolled her eyes. "April, I told you not to tell yet!"
"But it's Maggie! We can trust her!" she protested.
"What did we miss?" said Will's voice from the entryway, carrying Owen's empty baby carrier followed by Nat patting Owen in the back.
Sarah looked at Connor, who nodded her way. "Well, you're all here. I guess now's a good time to say it."
"Say what?" asked Ethan confused.
Connor made his way to were the med student was standing and held her hand. Natalie's eyes opened like saucers and gasped. Will still had no clue of what was going on as well as Ethan.
"Well, Connor and I are together now." She said shyly.
Natalie screamed in joy. "I knew it! I so knew it!" she said walking over as she held Owen to where Sarah and Connor were to hug them. She then turned to Will whose face was unreadable. "You owe me money." She whispered loudly, making everyone laugh.
"Congratulations!" said Ethan smiling happily, hugging Sarah and shaking Connor's hand followed by Maggie who embraced both.
Will was the last one to approach the pair. "I trust you'll do a good job taking care of her." He said shaking Connor's hand.
"You can rest assured." Said Connor sternly but with a smile.
Will then hugged Sarah. "I'm happy for you, kid. Wish you nothing but the best."
Sarah nodded. Neither had ever said it out loud, but Sarah felt that she had developed a strong relationship with Will over the time. He had always been there for her somehow when things seemed to go wrong, so she was more than happy that he approved of her relationship with Connor.
"I propose a toast." Said Maggie pouring herself a glass of juice. They all walked to the kitchen counter and grabbed beers, sodas or juices. "A toast," she continued, "to new beginnings."
"To new beginnings." They all said and drank.
"Well, now that that's been settled, let's start with the making of the food, shall we?" said Will, rubbing his hands together.
"We shall." Agreed Ethan.
The first night of their vacation arrived quickly. They had spent the day kayaking, trekking, and shooting discs among other fun activities, so by the time nightfall came, they were all huddled on the couches watching a movie on the giant TV with the lights off. Sarah and Connor occupied the largest couch, Sarah calling dibs before anyone else could sit there, so she rested her back against his chest while he held her comfortably.
"Whose idea was this again?" asked Will visibly disturbed by the movie they were watching.
"Shhh!"
They were watching a Japanese horror movie that Sarah was trying hard to avoid watching. She honestly didn't consider herself an easily scared person, but the movie was too much for her to handle. Thirty minutes into the movie she was already covered almost from head to toe on a blanket and cuddled up to Connor, who reassured her everything was fine once in a while, laughed when she jolted because of a jumpscare and kissed her temple trying to calm her down.
By the time one of the characters was brutally cut in half, Natalie reached for the remote.
"That's it." She said turning the TV off, no one protesting. "I don't know who chose this but this was horrible." She said still trembling.
"But it's a classic." Ethan argued, almost covered from head to toe himself.
"Well, we're not watching it." She said tossing the control on the couch. "I have no idea how am I going to catch sleep tonight." She said shaking her head, trying to erase the movie's images. "I'm going to bed." She said saying goodnight to everyone before she climbed up the stairs, Maggie following suit her after a while. They had agreed that it was fair that the women stayed in one room and the men in the other, as to not cause any conflicts.
One by one each got up, said goodnight and headed to bed, leaving Connor and Sarah alone.
"Do you want to go to sleep?" Connor asked, his lips pressed lightly against the side of her head, an arm draped across her waist.
"I'm not tired." She said trying to stay awake, but letting a yawn escape her.
"Baby, you're exhausted."
Sarah shook her head.
"Are you too scared? Is that it?"
She stopped shaking her head no and paused before finally nodding.
"Why don't we catch something else on TV that can distract you a little bit." He said reaching for the remote and turning the TV back on, looking for something else to watch on Netflix.
"Anything you'd like to watch in particular?"
Sarah blushed at his question, making him press on the issue. "Come on, tell me. I won't judge." He said kissing the top of her head.
"Can you put on Pretty Little Liars?"
Connor chuckled, rolling his eyes. "Whatever you want, princess."
He scrolled through the series and clicked on Sarah's selection.
"Season 4." She whispered, feeling the color in her cheeks deepen, but Connor simply nodded and complied with her request.
A few minutes into the episode, Connor was already fast asleep, evoking a smile from her. She was truly lucky to have him. He was now her boyfriend. Hers only. And she was his girlfriend. Only time could tell the trials and tribulations that awaited them… but also the joys and the adventures.
She nestled her face on the crook of his neck while she watched the series, unaware that sleep was beginning to creep over her. A few minutes later she felt herself doze off in his arms, feeling his arm tighten slightly around her protectively. She was glad she was where she was, and that she was with him, safe and awaiting a brand new day full of perfect uncertainty.
She kissed the side of his neck slightly.
"Happy birthday, Connor." She whispered before letting herself get lost in the land of dreams.
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