AN: Wow! Thanks for the lovely reviews and for being patient with me. I'm almost done with this semester and soon enough I'll be able to update more often. I'm aiming for fifteen chapters but who knows if it'll be longer or shorter - already I can't believe that this is even the tenth chapter for this fic! Like, whoa.

For now here's another long chapter to keep you guys satisfied since I'm planning on updating my other MLB fic as well.

I haven't bothered using as much French here as much as my other fic but Tante means Aunt! And as for what Rose is wearing since I didn't describe it – she's wearing the same thing as Marinette since she was a bridesmaid as well.

Anyway, enough of my ramblings. :)

Happy reading~ Enjoy this angst-fest 2k17. Lmao. Mwahahaha.

Ps. THE CHICKEN AND FISH WERE A LIE!

That is all.

La Culpabilité D'une Mère

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Marinette was bitter.

After a day filled with errands, she walked back to her parent's bakery with an armful of baguettes. She received them as a gift from a neighboring boulangerie owned by an elderly couple that her parents had been friends with ever since her parents opened up their own boulangerie-patisserie and have known Marinette since before she was born. The couple, well in their eighties now were overjoyed to see Marinette back in Paris.

On her way home, she couldn't help herself as a display window of a toy shop caught her interest. The display was showcasing the latest dolls for little girls with decorations of baby carriages and doll houses.

Marinette winced as her eyes stayed glued onto the bright and homey setting for the toys. Her ears slightly perked up as she heard mothers softly giggling while holding their daughter's hands walk past her as they exited the toy shop.

Gripping the bag of still warm baguettes in her arms, she heard them crunch as she briefly closed her eyes and deeply breathed.

Marinette would not allow herself to cry in public. She knew exactly what the consequences of her decisions on that day would entail.

Her throat tightened as she tried calming down her racing heart. "Ladybug strength… please… Tikki" she whispered as she lightly tugged on her dim earrings.

She knew in her heart that they still contained magic and that Tikki could hear her. What she would give to have Tikki's comfort right about now.

Leaving the sight of the toy shop, she mentally took note of where it was located. She was pretty sure that had been a book store before but five years away from Paris might as well have been ten with the rate of constantly changing businesses.

Entering the back door of her home, she locked it and marched up the stairs. Placing the baguettes on the kitchen counter, she went to the fridge and took out a small container with pistachio gelato. Taking off her black flats, she curled up on the couch with her gelato and a spoon.

In the back of end mind, the shade of green reminded her of her Kitty but she didn't want to dwell on that. She had been doing her best for the past five years, trying her hardest to not think about him.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

"This is your daughter, Emma.

She's two weeks old.

Please take care of her.

Please forgive me, Chaton.

Your Lady."

Ladybug read over her note one last time as her heart felt like it was pounding ferociously in her throat. Biting her bottom lip hard to the point of pain, she quickly vanished as soon as she heard Chat Noir approaching the roof top she left their daughter on.

Once she was out of sight, Ladybug used her yoyo to swing as far away as she possibly could. Slowly her vision became blurred to the point that all the Parisian night lights looked like splotches of colorful circles. She missed her landing and rolled on the gravel roof, both palms of her hands while her knees took the impact of the rocks as she gripped the floor. Her hot tears spilled out as a heart wrenching wailing from deep within her chest rumbled and echoed into the silent night.

Her body violently shook as her palms gave out causing her elbows to support her. "I…I… I… d-d-deserve t-this" she managed to tell herself, repeating the phrase over and over again until her miraculous beeped and transformed her back to Marinette.

One look at the broken young woman in front of her and Tikki realized that there was nothing she could do for her chosen. No amount of words of comfort or things to distract her with could ever change Marinette.

She was swimming in a pool of self-guilt, anger, and hopelessness.

That night, a worn-out Marinette arrived late for dinner. Her hair was down in a disheveled mess, eyes puffy, lips swollen, and she continued to shake.

"H-Honey?" Sabine cautiously called out as she watched Marinette come in from the front door.

Sabine and Tom thought that Marinette fell asleep early, tucked away in her room. Normally they'd lecture her on how late and dangerous it was to stay out past a certain hour but the air around their daughter felt different.

Marinette dropped to her knees right at the entrance of the door, both her hands holding onto the doorknob to keep her steady.

Tom and Sabine immediately got off the couch and rushed to her side.

"I… I… d-don't deserve to be a mother, right? How could someone as selfish and insecure as myself think they could handle a baby? I'm not even… out of high school yet. Please, please, if you truly love me, yell at me for being stupid. Ground me for life for having unprotected sex… disown me as your child. Please, punish me. I deserve it!"

Tom looked at his wife, both with shocked expressions locked on their faces. They didn't know what to think in that moment. It was too much to process.

"Marinette, what exactly happened?" Sabine tried to gently ask but the words came out in a panic.

"Sweetheart, are you… p-p-pregnant?" Tom choked on the word as he squeezed Sabine's hand.

Marinette took a few minutes of anxious silence before she said, "I was"

That night was the most painful thing that she had ever experienced. No number of wounds and scars on her body from akuma attacks, no amount of verbal abuse from Chloe, hate from people who were anti-Ladybug had ever hurt her as much as telling her parents everything.

She told them about her first miscarriage and Emma.

Instead of getting mad at her, they ended up blaming themselves for not noticing their daughter enough to the point of detecting something was wrong. They had been so focused on the health of Grand-Mère Dupain and their busiest cake season at the bakery that they didn't bat an eye at Marinette acting more out of her element than usual.

The only detail that she had left out of her story was her secret of being Ladybug. She didn't think that her parents would take that news very well after finding out that she had lost both of her children before the age of eighteen.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

At twenty-two, a lot of things in Marinette's life had change. With her parents currently gone, celebrating their anniversary in Indonesia, Marinette was left with the task of running the bakery. She had just gotten back to Paris two weeks ago and even though it was only five years, it felt like an eternity to her.

She was planning on making her travels shorter but things happened and she stayed for longer than originally intended.

The spoon with a mouthful of gelato hung on her tongue as she absentmindedly sucked on it while thinking about the only thing that would ever bring her back to Paris - her best friend Alya who was getting married on that upcoming weekend.

"At least one of us deserves true happiness" Marinette whispered to herself as she stared out her open window. The small breeze swayed the thin white cotton curtains as the busy streets of the city and birds chirping came through into the home.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

"You know a pretty girl like you doesn't need makeup" Alya smiled as she applied light makeup on her friend's beautiful daughter.

"I know but Daddy doesn't like it on me. Making him grumpy is funny!" Emma giggled as Alya lightly tapped her nose with an amused smile.

As she was finishing up on the little girl, Alya heard a light knock at the door with someone slowly opening it.

"I have a surprise delivery for the bride" the voice said in a sing-song voice as Alya immediately recognized who's voice it was and stopped what she was doing. Turning around she saw Marinette timidly waiting by the door giving Alya a small wave.

Alya's breathe was caught in her throat as she ran towards her best friend and quickly squeezed her petite frame.

"Glad… to… see… you too… ack! Can't breathe, Alya!" Marinette squeaked out as Alya refused to let her go for a second longer as she fought back happy tears to finally have Marinette back.

"I thought you weren't coming! You never replied back to the invite!" Alya finally burst and let a few tears shed. Tilting her head up, she tried to stop. "Look what you've done, Mari. Now I need to reapply my mascara, girl!"

Marinette couldn't help but laugh at that as she readjusted the front of her dress. The chest area fit slightly loose on her but she was in such a hurry that she didn't bother fixing it prior to the wedding date. "I may have some demons that I'm still trying to fight through but I would never miss your big day, Alya. You and Nino are simply meant to be" she responded as Alya sniffled.

Alya was given a tissue by Emma who curiously watched the bride and this new lady's interaction. "I know, I'm just… y'know overwhelmed by everything. I remember you telling me how busy the bakery's been ever since you came back to Paris"

"Thank you, Princess" Alya thanked the little girl as she sat back down at the vanity.

Marinette nodded and finally noticed that she and Alya weren't alone in the room as the striking green eyes and long beautiful wavy tresses of the little girl sitting next to Alya caught her eyes.

"You're really pretty!" Emma spoke up as Marinette's smile faltered for a split moment.

Quickly Marinette masked her mixed emotions and walked closer to the vanity. Bending her knees, she leaned over and brightly smiled at the girl. "Thank you sweetie, I think you're very pretty yourself. What's your name, Princess?" she asked as Emma jumped off the bench and quickly did a small curtsy, "My name is Emma! Daddy taught me that it's polite to curtsy when meeting new people!"

Marinette's heart skipped a beat. "Y-Y-Your n-name is Emma?"

"Yup! Daddy says that Mommy named me. I don't know her but Tante Alya also really likes my name" Emma replied, "Oh! I need to get back to Daddy!" she suddenly said as if remembering something important in that moment. "Excuse me!" she did another curtsy and ran out.

Marinette watched her leave but just as quickly as she ran out, Emma ran back in and quickly said, "Thank you for the makeup, Tante Alya! Bye!" and ran out again.

Alya laughed and shook her head in good spirits but noticed that there was a pause on Marinette.

"You okay?" she asked as Marinette snapped out of it.

"Oh… Oh! Yeah, I'm fine. She's honestly the most beautiful little girl I've ever seen. A family member of yours?"

"Hmm… something like that" Alya vaguely replied.

The rest of their conversation was on Marinette's travels and her teasing Alya about finally settling down.

"Hey I know I'm the worst best friend but I probably won't be able to stay for pictures after the service"

Alya frowned, "Why not?"

"I still need to go home and finish up the pipping on your cake plus bake a few other goodies" Marinette deeply sighed and clapped her hands together in front of her face, facing Alya's direction, "Please forgive me!"

Alya lightly chuckled, "It's fine, after all, your wedding gift to me is going to feed all the guests here. You'll owe me tomorrow morning though! I told Nino I won't be going on our honeymoon until I get some shots with my best friend!"

Marinette awed, feeling touched by that. "You're amazing, Alya"

Alya gestured for Marinette to hug her with her arms wide open as invite to, "No, you're the amazing one, Marinette, you just don't realize it. I love you endlessly"

Marinette hugged her back and fought back her tears, "And I love you for eternity"

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

"Aww crap!" Marinette cursed as she cleaned up her mess of pipping bags and bowls filled with custards and colorful meringues on the table. She had been so careful to not get her turquoise blue bridesmaid dress dirty while finishing up baking the last things for the wedding.

Quickly she took off the white sash and bow from her waist to run it under water. Luckily she had stained it with white frosting but she could still see the difference in shades of white. Groaning she furiously scrubbed it while trying to brush away at the edible glitter and powdered sugar away from her loose hair. She was already running late, having left the wedding right after Alya and Nino were officially declared husband and wife.

After that, she quietly snuck out of the church as they were all heading outdoors to take pictures. She decided to style her hair in an updo bun, after all what's a few more minutes of being late to your own best friend's wedding, right?

Setting the boxes of macarons, assorted pastries, and the five-tiered cake, she made sure the 'closed' sign was hanged at the entrance and locked up making her way to the reception hall.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Entering from the back, Marinette unloaded the sweets with the help of Ivan and Kim, both guys still reeling from the fact that their high school classmate was back in Paris. They weren't close friends but the absence of Marinette's sudden disappearance had greatly affected them all.

As Marinette headed towards the party area, she kept adjusting her dress and hair and ended up bumping into yet another classmate.

"Alix!" Marinette gasped, surprised that she recognized the sporty young woman since she had grown her hair out but she was still kept short.

Her vibrant pink locks now reached her chest in wavy tresses with curled bangs swept to her right. She was wearing a simple black lace dress with quarter sleeves that reached just before her knees and five-inch pumps.

"M-M-Marinette?!" Alix eyes widened in shock, Marinette's hair was also longer and done in a fancy yet messy updo bun, a look on her that she hadn't seen in years.

"Wow, you look great Alix!" Marinette smiled and hugged her.

Alix patted Marinette's back and laughed, "Same! God, you've been a ghost for the past five years, we were all starting to take bets on who would run into you first excluding Alya!"

"Sorry to ruin the fun but Ivan and Kim were the first ones… well, technically Alya had sent them to help me unload the wedding cake and other stuff in the kitchen" Marinette frowned for the girl as Alix snapped her fingers.

"Damn that husband of mine!" Alix gritted her teeth.

"H-H-Husband?" Marinette nearly choked on the word.

"Yeah, Kim and I have been married for five years now. It wasn't easy with him training for the Olympics while I put my American X-games training on hold to raise our four-year old daughter…" Alix paused her rambling and gently took Marinette's hands into hers as she lightly squeezed them, "I'm sorry I wasn't able to invite you. I know we weren't super close like you and Alya are but I still considered you a good friend to me, Mari. You left a few weeks before Kim and I finalized everything…"

Marinette shook her head with a small smile and squeezed her hands back, "No! Please don't feel guilty. It's my fault for leaving without saying a word to anyone but on the bright side I'm back now and that's all that matters"

Alix hugged her again, promising that she'd keep in touch while they exchanged phone numbers and then ran off to find Kim in the kitchen. Marinette didn't want to hold her up any longer or even worse - start talking about children. That's one topic that was still hard for her to discuss with anyone like swallowing a pill that was too big for her tight throat.

Marinette walked past the restrooms in the lobby and reached the door separating her from the vibrations of the roaring party just beyond. Her hand twisted the doorknob and came into contact with someone exiting out.

It was the last person she thought she'd ever seen again.

After all, she vanished into thin air for the past five years and it didn't help that his tousled unruly hair and piercing green eyes reminded her of her love that she could never forget no matter how much she tried to.

Her heart ached.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

"A-Adrien…" Marinette whispered, his name leaving a tingling on the tip of her tongue.

"M-M-Marinette?!" Adrien was in disbelief.

She watched as his Adam's apple bobbed as he gulped, looking up again and being caught in her turquoise makeup smokey eyes. They both continued holding the doorknob on both ends of the door.

That was until Alix with her arm wrapped around Kim came behind Marinette and excused themselves back into the party.

Awkwardly shuffling out of the way, Marinette stood on the side of the door while trying to air dry her wet bow on her dress.

She noticed as Adrien watched her every move as if contemplating on what he should say next.

"Oh! Y-Y-You know me, I'm a total klutz! Ha ha ha… I accidentally got frosting on my dress" Marinette scrunched up her nose in disappointment while awkwardly laughing.

It was one of her traits that hit him with nostalgia and longing for the past. He found it cute.

"I… umm… I just downed a whole bottle of champagne by myself so I need to relief myself. Wait for me?" Adrien blushed as he ran his hand up and down his neck rubbing it.

Marinette nodded, "Of course, Adrien"

Adrien with his teeth caught on his bottom lip stopped from heading towards the men's restroom, "Promise?" he asked in such a pleading way, as if he was terrified that if he left then she'd disappear again.

Marinette's heart fluttered at the desperate tone, "I promise I'll be waiting right here. I'd love to catch up with you, Adrien" she swore to him that she wasn't planning on suddenly leaving again as she backed herself against the wall and leaned on it while holding two thumbs up to prove it to him.

Adrien let out an airy laugh that sounded so refreshing to her as she watched him practically jog so that he could return sooner.

Not even three minutes and Adrien was back.

"Umm… Adrien?"

"Yes?"

"Your… umm… your zipper is down" Marinette blushed as she pointed down while looking away.

"Oh geez, that's embarrassing. Not the best first impression in five years, huh? From top model to slob" Adrien playfully groaned as he turned his body sideways to privately zip up his pants.

Marinette shook her head, "If you didn't then I'd think you were a groomed robot, Mr. Agreste"

Adrien stuck out his tongue at her, "Please no formalities around old friends, Mari, especially when they make me feel like my… dad. Ugh"

"Okay, I promise no more fancy talk. Maybe we should just head back into the party?" Marinette suggested as she titled her head towards the booming noise.

She had become an expert in reading her own emotions as well as others and could visibly see the mask that Adrien wore. He clearly had no intention of going back into the party anytime soon.

"Or maybe not, we could just go talk in private in the courtyard?" Marinette suggested the front where the decorated arches and white wooden benches were still mounted in stacks.

Adrien eagerly nodded at the new suggestion, "Sorry, I know you just got here but the loud music and downing a whole bottle of champagne plus a few shots of cognac don't mix well"

Marinette raised a brow at this, "I didn't take you for a drinker"

"You kidding, with the strict diet I live on? I can't. Just have a high tolerance no thanks to all the business meetings I'm forced to attend. I promise I haven't turned into a raging alcoholic these past five years" Adrien placed his hand over his heart.

Marinette smiled, "Okay, I believe you. Party animal" she stuck her tongue back at him as he guided her outside.

The air was crisp with a slight wind but not enough to be declared shivering levels.

Adrien took down a wooden bench from a stack and placed it on the freshly cut grass. Patting it, he plopped down with Marinette sitting next to him.

Turning his body, he rested a knee in-between them allowing them enough personal space to where they didn't feel uncomfortable.

Marinette turned her body slightly to face him in a position that wouldn't strain her neck.

"So…" they both started in unison.

Pausing they both laughed as Adrien gestured for Marinette to go first. She shook her hands in front of her and asked for him to go first with the questions.

He obliged and tapped his right index finger to his chin as he thought about his first question. "Hmm… okay, got it! So how have you been?"

Marinette burst out laughing causing confusion for him as Adrien waited for her laughing fit to calm down. "Sorry, it's just… all that build up for a simple question?"

Adrien huffed, crossing his arms over his chest, "Well, excuse me for trying to ease into this" he said and then softly finished with, "You've been gone for five years. Away from Paris with Alya being tight lipped about your whereabouts… I'm just… reli-I'm just happy that you're back, Marinette"

Marinette felt both thankful for having the best friend anyone could ever ask for but also a stabbing pain in her back as she felt like she betrayed everyone with her Houdini act of five years.

"Where were you?" Adrien sobered up, he wasn't an alcoholic but these past five years changed him into a somber, broken man and he hated that the slight buzz he was feeling before was starting to fade away now.

"I… uhh…" Marinette stuttered, why was this so hard for her? It's not like she changed her name and outer appearance and forged papers to get a new life outside of her comfort bubble that was Paris where no one would know or ever question her past.

Marinette felt guilty, that's why.

Fiddling her thumbs together, she looked down at her hands, "I was in China" she finally spoke as Adrien's erratic beating heart calmed down, fearing the worst.

"China?" he questioned.

"My mom's hometown to be precise. After graduation, I just… needed to clear my head over a few things. My grandparents and great uncle along with cousins I've never even met before were all thrilled that I'd be staying for the summer. The summer ended and I before I know it - five years had passed and if it weren't for Alya's wedding… I feel like I would've stayed maybe a year or two longer"

"Were things… better over there?" Adrien felt like he had swallowed a rock at the words.

Did she not miss Alya? Just she not miss… him?

"I got to travel all over China and it's beautiful but… I mostly stayed due to my studies. Great Uncle Cheng taught me all his culinary skills and I applied them into baking and my designer skills helped with the creative process"

"Marinette… did you give up on your fashion designing dreams?"

"I… I wouldn't say… I gave up… I just decided that I was better suited for baking and pastry making. I know my parents aren't retiring anytime soon but I'm their only daughter and I know someday I'll inherit my family's business but for now I can at least give them a break and help around more, y'know? Plus, now my mandarin isn't non-existent as it was before! I still suck at it and struggle but I bet I can hold up my end of a conversation with you now!" Marinette smiled a broken smile.

Adrien caught it as his own heart broke for her. He didn't want to pry into her personal life and why she suddenly changed careers but as long as she was happy with her decision then he would be too as the supportive friend he is.

"Challenge accepted" he winked at her.

Before he could say anything witty to shift their suddenly serious conversation, he heard the all too familiar piddle-paddle of two little feet make their way towards the grass.

"Daddy!" Emma frantically yelled as she ran into Adrien's awaiting arms and buried her head into his neck.

This caused Adrien to stand up and rocked her back and forth as he looked towards Rose, "Sorry, Adrien, she got scared when you didn't come back right away"

Adrien nodded and thanked her as Rose quickly hugged Marinette letting her know that they'd catch up later and made her way back towards the party where Juleka waited for her.

"Daddy, you left me!" Emma whimpered as Adrien soothed her and kissed her hair.

"I would never leave you, baby girl. Never" Adrien reassured her.

Marinette's eyes and mind were still reeling, trying to put two and two together as she sat frozen in place. She felt like she was intruding on a very private moment and wanted to escape. She didn't think that the gorgeous little girl she briefly met earlier would be Adrien's.

Once Adrien calmed down Emma, he deeply sighed, "Sorry Marinette, do you think we can catch up some more later? I think I'm calling it a night"

Marinette snapped out of it and jumped off the wooden bench, "Yes! Sure! Just let me know when later!"

"Again, I'm really sorry. This is the first time, I take my Emma out for a big event"

"No, I completely understand. No need to apologize! I should get going too, don't wanna leave without saying goodbye to the bride and groom"

Adrien chuckled, "Right, the newly appointed Mr. and Mrs. Nino Lahiffe"

Marinette nodded, "Exactly!"

As they were about to part ways, Adrien paused and smacked his forehead with his free hand. "Wow, stupid me. Marinette, I haven't formally introduced you yet. This is my daughter Emma" he gestured at her as Emma kept her face hidden, "I… uhhh… a lot has happened in five years" he awkwardly told her, a faint blush forming on his cheeks.

Marinette put on her own mask on and gently squeezed his shoulder, "I'm sure. Five years is a long time and we have all the time in the world now to catch up"

"Promise?" he asked again, with that desperate tone back.

"I promise" she said all while trying to not let her composure completely fail on her.

Marinette wanted to break down and cry.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Done! To be continued.

Dun. Dun. DUUUUUNNNNN.

Man… it's like all of Marinette's friends are having daughters. Lol.

Again, Marinette doesn't have a crush on Adrien but he was a close friend to her during her pregnancy and all that happened with stupid Chloe.

What will happen next I wonder?

What happened to Tikki and the miraculous?

If it's not explained in the next chap, then it most definitely will be in the following after.

Please do review! Follows and Alerts tell me that you guys are at least interested in the story but reviews really let me hear out what your feedback and personal opinions on my stories are!

If anyone is afraid to leave reviews due to language difference - please don't be! I can fluently read Spanish and partial French! :) And hey, that's why Google translate was invented after all! LOL.

So ya know the drill! Tell me what ya think! ;D