AN: *Kicks down door with suitcases in hand* I'M BAAAAACCCCCKKKKK! :D
Honestly, what can I say for not updating this story in nearly seven months? Yikes. Besides the typical, personal mumble jumbo – I fell into Voltron hell (which I'm not complaining one bit about. Lmao) and the Miraculous drought really took a toll on my patience.
I started to become incredibly nonchalant about all things MLB to the point where I felt bothered by it because this series has such a special place in my heart and has helped me when I needed it most. The little morsels of summer con info weren't enough for me. That and I tried avoiding most of the spoilers despite simply wanting more. My heart goes out to Thomas Astruc who doesn't always get a say (or in the know for that matter) in how things are distributed. (Please be patient with Hawkdaddy. Don't stress the man out, Fam)
So, thanks to Spain we didn't have to wait for long for some English episodes of Season 2 to start rolling out. I'm also grateful to have a kindergartner's knowledge of French which really helped to hyped me up again with waiting until 1:30am pacific time for France to release new eps.
I'm loving (and suffering like a night owl who doesn't know what a decent time for bed even is) with this new routine again.
As said before, I do plan on ending this fic at fifteen chapters. During the summer – I completed my other MLB fic, Je Veux Être Avec Toi, go check it out if you haven't yet! I'm pretty happy that I managed to complete that one on its one year anniversary. I hope to have this story finished before the year ends – which isn't much time left. I can't believe how time flies. I swear, time seems to elude me with fics. I don't want this story to suffer like other stories I have for other fandoms that never see the light of day ever again.
Ok, enough of my ranting. If you read through that wall of text then that means you've survived my hiatus on this story. Thank you again for all the reviews (especially those yelling at me in anticipation) and support that I've gotten thus far for this little fic of mine!
This chapter has been brought to you by the letters F and S… for Feels and Sexiness.
Happy reading~ :)
Cinq Ans Et Douze Mois
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They had wasted five years.
"I…" she began.
Adrien continued to support her as he kissed her temple and continued to gently massage her back in a circular motion.
"I lost our baby, Kitty" Marinette wheezed and coughed, finally telling him the truth.
Adrien was confused again, wasn't Emma their only child?
"I lost our baby" she repeated, "I lost Louis!"
Marinette clarified but he felt like a boulder had just been placed on his back returning him back to square one. He should've been ecstatic, overjoyed, happy that he finally had found Ladybug and how he could finally introduce his precious daughter to her mother but they still had one more secret to hurdle over.
"Marinette, who's Louis?"
"O-Our s-son"
Marinette's lips uncontrollably quivered, teeth chattering as the tears began to spill once again. She didn't bother wiping them away as she revealed the truth that consumed her whole, kept her up late at nights, and was constantly being a negative reminder in the back of her mind.
"I… I… I… don't deserve to be called a mother… I'm unfit to have children. I'm a danger to both you and Emma…" Marinette rambled as she avoided eye contact with him and stared at her shaky hands on her lap.
"I put my Ladybug duties first than the well-being of my child… I… I… couldn't leave Chat Noir defenseless… but it cost me my kitten's… kitten's precious life"
Globs of hot saline tears spilled down her puffy eyes as she continued to fill the silence with her confessions. Things that she had felt and kept locked within her so very long.
She wished that Adrien would speak up, say something, blame her, yell at her, do something. Anything.
"After five years… I was starting to genuinely feel like myself again… with you Adrien but in the back of my mind, it's still hard to forget… I'm so…" she raised her hands to cover her reddening face, "I'm so hopelessly in love with your alter ego Chat Noir that not in a million years would I have thought it was you all along… I'm relieved, I'm overjoyed even… but devastated. You deserve someone a thousand times better than me, Adrien"
Marinette sniffled, wiping away at the mucous coming out of her nose.
Crying was never a pretty sight.
"And why's that?" he finally spoke up, asking her in a hushed whisper.
"I'm just going to end up ruining your life again. Once was already too many times to screw someone as wonderful as you over. I… I… foolishly allowed our reunion to blossom into something more than just friendship… I was trying to run away from confronting the past, from finding you, Kitty, and trying to form a relationship with our daughter… and now… we've recently had sex and I'm terrified of getting pregnant again but worse of all…" Marinette looked him dead in the eyes, "I hate how selfish I am in requesting that if I get pregnant again, that I'd want to ask you to let me keep the baby. I… I wouldn't burden you any longer, I won't ask for any support… I just want a kitten to love" she rubbed her stomach with shaky hands, "I'm a mess" she somberly chuckled to herself, avoiding eye contact once again.
A heavy silence filled the air within seconds. It was starting to become unbearable when Adrien wouldn't say a word. Marinette's anxiety started to feed her the thoughts and concerns that she feared the most, feeling as if she needed to escape in that very moment.
"I need some air" she told him as she jumped off the couch with wobbly legs and bee-lined her way towards the balcony.
Adrien wordlessly watched her leave as he hunched over, elbows pressed into his knees as he crossed his hands and placed his head onto his crossed thumbs.
Deeply sighing, he thought about her words and how he'd sort out his own feelings.
Outside on the balcony, Marinette tightly gripped the metal bars as she took in lungful of air. She was emotionally all over the place but what made it worse was Adrien's silence.
Her fears started to break her down further as her legs finally gave out on her as she almost fell to her knees but she never felt the impact of the cold marble tile of the balcony's floor.
Adrien gently gripped her arm and lifted her up, bringing her back inside and having her sit on the couch without saying a word.
He caged her into him as he sat on his knees and placed his hands on either side of her on the couch as he faced her.
"Marinette… I know it's painful to talk about but I need you to answer my questions. Do you think you can do that for me?"
She nodded, too afraid that she'd start to cry again if she verbally agreed.
"How did you lose, Louis?" his voice strained.
She gulped and swallowed down the knot in her throat, "the escaped akuma… the kleptomaniac that attacked our school… she had a crowbar…"
Marinette's skin briefly jolted when she felt Adrien's hands tightly claw and momentarily gripped the couch cushions on either side of her. His face contorted into a look of pain and anger.
"Why didn't you tell me you were pregnant both times?" he quietly asked but his emotions made it come out a little demanding.
"I… was scared you'd reject me. We've never talked about the future much, let alone children… I felt like a selfish jerk for not taking your feelings into consideration. I'm truly sorry for that" she slowly explained, afraid of moving in her seat.
She heard him deeply sigh before briefly opening his mouth to speak and then closing it just as fast. He braced himself to respond, "No, I'm the selfish jerk for always wanting you any way I could without objection. Even now, looking at your inner vulnerabilities… I want to make love to you and worship your body… your entire being but I know that's not going to help fix how broken you feel inside" Adrien moved his hands from the couch to rub his temples as he deeply sighed for the umpteenth time, "I'm the idiot here, Marinette. I should've paid more attention to you acting differently. I should've felt the baby bump. I should've expressed how much the thought of having children with you truly made me feel. I should've expressed more just how much you mean to me, how I love you with every fiber of my being. I should've connected the dots of My Lady being you all along" he told her as he looked at her with deep saddened green eyes brimming with tears.
"I still unconditionally love you, with or without the mask but I can't…" his voice nearly cracked, "I can't force you to love me as Adrien and not the cat. Just like I can't force you to properly meet our daughter but I would never stop you from ever wanting to. You left us… you left me for five long years. I don't hate you for that, I understand why you did it but…" Adrien searched her eyes with his own that freely let their tears fall. "Please… Please, don't leave me for another five. I… I wouldn't be able to bear it" he confessed with a desperate pleading tone in his words.
He took her hands that were resting on her lap, squeezing them once and then lifting them towards his wet lips. Adrien could taste the salt from his own tears on her trembling hands.
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"I'm not going to lie to you and say that these past five years haven't been difficult because they have. Instead I'm going to thank you for giving me the greatest gift I could ever receive. Emma is my soul but… you're my heart, Marinette" Adrien guided her right hand towards his chest. Behind all that hard muscle was the erratic beating of a heart of a man who felt just as broken as she. A heart that she was making go wild.
Marinette bit her quivering lip and shook her head. Moving her hand away from the pulse as if it'd burn her the longer he held it there for her. "I'm damaged goods, Adrien. You'd just be wasting your time with someone as worthless as me. I'll just ruin your life again. Please just break my heart and tell me that you don't love me. Convince me that you've moved on, Kitty, please" Marinette tried so hard to find ways to punish herself.
There was nothing more that she wanted in life than to be with him but her insecurities, her guilt, her torment of her nagging inner demons wouldn't allow her that peace.
"Then we'd both be living lies, My Lady. If that's what you wanna call it, then ruin me, ruin our lives. Put all your burdens on me, I'll gladly accept" he whispered as he cupped her face in his palms. Before she had a chance to object, he crashed his lips against hers earning him a small moan.
Marinette's mind was screaming for her to shove Adrien off her but her body and soul desperately sought out his touch. She leaned further into him, slowly gaining the confidence to weave her slender fingers through his soft golden locks.
Her nails lightly grazed the skin of his neck as she felt his tongue lightly pushing forward to allow him in deeper.
A loud needy moan escaped her lips as she felt the long-forgotten sensation of having him explore her mouth. She tasted like wine and chocolate covered strawberries.
When they came apart to steady their breathing, Marinette wanted to cry at his next words.
"Before you tell me that you don't deserve me or you're not worth the time. Stop because I can be just as stubborn as you. I love you for you, Marinette, not just Ladybug. No one's perfect in this world, just take all the akumas we've fought over the years. They were all people struggling with something, big or small, but did they let it consume them after we freed them? No, they didn't. I'm not going to let you succumb to this darkness alone any further. It either takes me too or neither of us. Let me grieve our son too but not once will I ever get mad at you for abandoning me or Emma. I just want to love you, Marinette"
"Then love me. Show me what I can't currently see" Marinette ordered, her bluebell eyes slowly darkening in want.
Adrien smirked, "with pleasure" he said, licking his lips.
Adrien took Marinette straight to his bedroom, bridal style. He was careful when laying her down on his grand plush bed. Kissing her until her head hit the pillows. His arms and knees supported his weight above her.
He took his time on every part of her body, whispering sweet nothings into her ear when he'd return back up from his exploring. Slowly, Marinette's half-lidded eyes started to wander his body, drinking in his sight.
They had had sex before unaware that they were with the one person they were searching for all along but it was much more rough and playful, not slow, steady, and love filled as now.
Adrien removed his shirt, causing Marinette to bite her bottom lip at the sight. If she had thought he was finished growing as teens, she was sorely wrong. His height didn't grow much to her relief, she was still way shorter than he, but his muscles had grown broader. She noticed it the last time they were in this predicament but now she really noticed it.
She snapped out of taking notes on his body when she heard a zipper. She knew it was him as her eyes traveled further south. In the dim lit room that only had the aid of the Eiffel Tower as their main source of light - she could faintly see his pants desperately clinging onto his hips as he teased her by not fully going nude quite yet.
He still wanted to take his time with her as he slowly and meticulously removed her clothes. His lips ghosted over every faint scar on her battle torn petite body. While their superhero powers had immensely helped with their healing powers, some wounds proved to be even too much for magic to instantly cure.
Adrien lightly pressed his nose against each imperfection, telling her how he wished he had been faster and stronger to have prevented them. He then finally made his way to her abdomen. He could feel small ridges of muscles there but he was more focused on the stretch marks. The warrior marks left as reminders of her carrying his children and hopefully more in the future.
He may have not gotten to know his son Louis but her body was a reminder that he once existed. He took his time worshipping her, even causing her to giggle when he'd blow raspberries into her center.
"Way to kill the mood, Adrien" Marinette giggled.
Adrien smiled into her skin, elated to hear her enjoying herself after their painful hurdle.
She stopped giggling and began to arch her back when she felt him tightly grip her hips. His head getting lost in-between her inner thighs.
"A… A… Adrien…!" a breathy moan escaped her lips.
He wasn't kidding when he said that he was going to prove to her just how much he loves her. Marinette was made a believer again.
Running away from her problems did more harm than good but she would forever be grateful to have fallen in love with a man as amazing as her Chaton.
Adrien spent the rest of the night making Marinette see stars. Slow and steady at first but passionate and raw as the night went on.
The Eiffel Tower illuminated brightly in the background, a reminder that Ladybug and Chat Noir had found each other once again.
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Marinette awoke to the first rays of light coming in through the opened windows with a small breeze swaying the white curtains.
She lazily turned her head to find a patch of blonde hair in her sights. She then felt a comfortable warmth and heaviness on her body as she tried adjusting her position only to find out that she was in a tangled mess of limbs and bedsheets with Adrien who slept peacefully a little lower than her, his arm securely wrapped around her waist as if fearing that she'd vanish into thin air again.
She continued to stare at his sleeping form for a couple of seconds before she subconsciously began caressing his messy hair that reminded her so much of her Kitty.
He had always been there right in front of her.
She had been too stupid and stubborn to want to find out.
Adrien stirred in his sleep, taking a moment to remember last night. He knew his Lady was awake already and prepared himself to playfully tease her with a cheerful morning greeting. Slowly he untangled himself so that he could get up and sit up on the bed as Marinette was, her back resting against the headboard.
Before he could call her beautiful and revel in the afterglow of their long night spent together, he leaned in closer, gently cupping her face in his palms.
"Hey… hey… why are you crying?" he frowned, wiping away at the droplets with the sides of his thumbs.
"I'm… crying?" she asked, having not realized until she felt the wetness on the sides of her face from him trying to dry her tears.
Adrien silently nodded.
Marinette shook her head, choking on a sob, "I'm sorry… I'm just still trying to process how incredibly lucky I am. I feel guilty for stealing you from another who's probably more deserving of your wonderful qualities. How you don't look at the flaws, all the imperfections, but instead focus only on the positive… all the good things"
Adrien's throat rumbled with a slightly annoyed noise. Without saying a word, he had Marinette laying back down on a pillow with him on top of her in a matter of seconds. Lightly taking her wrists, he pinned them above her head as he leaned down to place his forehead against hers.
He breathed her in, pressed their bodies closer, and softly kissed her.
"Do you feel how you make my body react?" he asked with a brief grind of their lower region.
Marinette could only moan in response.
"Do you feel how my pulse quickens whenever I'm with you?" he asked as he left go of one wrist and placed two of her fingers against his pulse point on his throat. She silently felt as it jumped.
"Do you feel these scars? Invisible with enough makeup to anyone else but you're the only one who knows where each and every one on my body is located and the stories of how I got them. If it weren't for you, Marinette, I would've died more than my nine lives could spare" he told her as he placed her hand against a large narrow scar that he had nearing his heart.
That was probably the scariest moment in their lives as amateur superheroes and the first scar to make her realize that she truly loved him before they started dating. That particular akuma just had to be a cardiologist with a broken heart on Saint Valentin.
"Marinette, you can continue to dissect me to your heart's content but my answer will never change. Let me take your burdens into me, let me share your worries and doubts because I'm so in love with you. I want to be your everything, just as I hope that I could be the same for you"
Marinette yanked him down into a heated kiss filled with acceptance. She ran her hands through his hair, tugging him further down, giving him open-mouthed kisses that left him groaning and moaning, trying to keep up with her pace as his hands touched her wherever he could reach.
"I love you, Adrien" she breathlessly told him, chest heaving, coming off her high.
Adrien kissed her forehead, closing his eyes, "I love you, Marinette"
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"Are we ever going to get out of bed today?" Marinette asked, lifting the bedsheet to look down at Adrien placing kisses down her stomach.
His head popped out of the covers with a thoughtful hum rumbling in his throat, "do we have to? My schedule's completely free for the day and besides I love getting lost within your naked body" his voice dropped, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.
Marinette laughed, playfully shaking her head, "I'm pretty sure you've made sure I won't be able to feel my legs for the next week... or two. I do have a bakery to run, you know"
"Don't worry, we'll get you a wheelchair. Just put all the blame on this tomcat" he smirked.
"Gladly" she nodded in agreement, lovingly brushing his bangs to the side to look into those glimmering bright green eyes that she loves so much.
"Don't forget that you need to go pick up Emma from Alya's later today"
"Ahh… that's right," Adrien sighed, "fooling around was much easier when we were younger"
Marinette gave him an apologetic look which he swiftly kissed her cheek to assure her that it wasn't her fault.
She knew his next question was the heaviest one to ask, after getting past several hurdles the previous night.
The question loomed in the air for a few minutes.
"Do you… want to go pick her up with me?"
"I…" she hesitated, "there's nothing more that would make me happier. I want to be that mother that I never got to be but I want my daughter to meet me when the time's right. Right now, she just sees me as 'Daddy's very special friend.' I want to do this right… is that… is that okay with you?"
Adrien cupped her face, giving her a small peck on the lips and nodded.
"I understand, take all the time you need"
Marinette nuzzled her cheek against his warm palm, "thank you"
A peaceful silence fell over them. Marinette placed her head over his chest as he wrapped his arms securely around her. They lazily brought up every day mundane topics about what they both had been up to for the past five years.
Adrien didn't have much to share. His life had pretty much been the same since she left. Constantly burnt out from work, dealing with an asshole of a father, and being a single parent, trying to be better than his own.
Instead he enjoyed Marinette's stories of her travels around Asia, Africa, and Eurasia.
She momentarily brought up how she visited countless monasteries, churches, temples and shrines from as many world religions as she possibly could. Anything to give her some sort of clue as to how to get Tikki back.
He was somewhat relieved that he wasn't the only one with a missing kwami but they both shared the same guilt knowing that they disappeared due to their childish carelessness.
After a while, Marinette ran out of tales, feeling as if she had covered the majority of the more interesting things to retell. It was then that she became lost in her thoughts for a flash of a millisecond.
A second that wasn't unnoticed by Adrien.
"What are you thinking about?"
"It's… nothing, silly even"
"Marinette…" Adrien gave her that tell-tale tone, the one that told her that he was serious about taking on all her troubles.
She deeply sighed then, getting up to sit as she fiddled with her fingers playing with the covers. He gave her an encouraging look to take her time to recollect her thoughts as she chewed on her bottom lip - a nervous habit she couldn't help.
"I was thinking about… what an amazing father you are, Adrien. I was busy running around the world, trying to put a distance between myself and France but you've… you've stayed here, keeping up the fort. I feel like I'm in a dream that I'd never want to wake from. This dream… is just missing that kitten that I, no, that we never got to meet. I've had my years to mourn but that doesn't mean I won't ever forget"
Adrien sat up then, tucking a strand of loose hair behind her ear as he somberly smiled at her, "of course not, Mari. A mother's greatest pain she'll ever endure in this world is the loss of a child. I promise you we'll properly memorialize our son. I promise you that, My Lady"
Marinette felt her face tighten, knowing all too well that she was about to cry. She avoided looking at him, turning her head to focus on anything but him. He didn't have to go that far for her sake but he had every right to as Louis's father and she appreciated it beyond words could tell.
"Marinette?" he called, bringing her attention back to him.
"Louis didn't want his Mommy to be sad that she could never get to meet him so he asked the stars above to give him a little sister that his parents could love twice as much" he told her as he took both her hands, squeezing them.
Marinette burst into tears at his words and tightly hugged him.
"Thank you, Kitty"
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Done! To be continued.
Ladybug and Chat Noir have once again found each other, five years later!
There's no more secrets between them and Marinette is definitely not having more kids anytime soon. Lmao.
Their love is stronger than ever before and all is right with the world, for now… Dun, dun, dun.
Jk. No, seriously.
If there's still an audience out there for this story – please do leave a review! I'd love to know what y'all think.
Next chapter: a reunion.
Until next time~ ;D
Please do review! Follows and Alerts tell me that you guys are at least interested in the story but reviews really let me hear out what your feedback and personal opinions on my stories are!
If anyone is afraid to leave reviews due to language difference - please don't be! I can fluently read Spanish and partial French! :) And hey, that's why Google translate was invented after all! LOL.
So ya know the drill! Tell me what ya think! ;D