Chapter Eight: Bittersweet Interlude

The food given to us by Prince Albert gave me strength on the journey to Rosings, and I vowed to myself that I would not let Willy die. I kept my head bowed in prayer as the carriage went along the wet roads, the wheels getting caught now and again in potholes and the horses whinnying in discomfort at being trapped out in the rain. I raised my eyes to Wilhelm's after what seemed like hours, as he reached across the carriage to me, taking his hand in mine and running his thumb over my knuckles in a comforting manner.

As the carriage moved, I carefully got to my feet and switched sides, sitting down next to him and placing my head upon his shoulder. Tears clouded my vision again as I did so, feeling so utterly despondent at the potential loss of our son. I'd barely known him, or Toria, and yet I knew I would lay down my life for them. I could not go on without Wilhelm, and of course more children could be had, but none would replace the boy who was an exact copy of his father. It was just the early days of his existence, and to have them potentially cut short was reminiscent of a dagger in my heart, and I hoped that the physician was reputable.

Finally, the arrival at Rosings Park came and the footman came around the carriage to let us out of our boxed prison. Before Wilhelm could attempt to get to his feet and step out and help me down, I flew through the door, jumping down from the space, as the stairs had not yet been lowered. I dashed through the small outside area, rain dropping down upon me and slipping in the back of my traveling cloak and into my gown as I ran towards the door. It came open as I stepped onto the threshold, and I ran in immediately, throwing off my hat and cape as I ran towards the staircase. I felt a gasp escape my throat as a door opened and Mama stood there before descending the staircase partway and embracing me.

"Mama, what is happening?" I whispered.

"The physician has not left Willy's side," she said, looking up as Wilhelm stepped inside behind me. "Dear God, what happened, Wilhelm?" she demanded, getting a good look at his arm for the first time.

"It must look worse than it feels, Mama," he said presently to her, mounting the stairs behind me and crossing to us, kissing her upon the cheek. "Took a rubber bullet in the arm while the queen and prince were in the park earlier this afternoon, but I am to be made Knight of the Garter."

"A fine trade that makes," my mother scolded, shaking her head and reaching out to feel Wilhelm's arm and, thankfully, he did not wince. "Well, the court physician seems to have bandaged you up properly, but I should think you are due for another one. Come—I shall change it myself."

"And Willy, Mama?" I asked.

"Go to him now—he is in the nursery," she replied, putting an arm around Wilhelm and taking him to a room at the end of the corridor, while maids and footmen entered the house with our luggage.

"Take that bag after them, please," I said to the footman who carried the bag containing Wilhelm's bandages and sterilization essentials.

"Yes, my lady duchess," the footman replied, going after Wilhelm and my mother to the end of the corridor.

Taking up my mud-splattered skirts, I sighed, knowing that I should not enter a sickroom in traveling clothes, so I made my way to my chambers, where a maid was already awaiting me. I gave the instructions for a simple black gown to be put upon me and, once I was laced properly into it—along with fresh shoes and stockings—I left my chambers, pinning my braid into a bun against the back of my head as I entered the nursery. The physician stood above Willy's small bed, as my baby coughed and struggled to fight the infection.

"Ah, my lady duchess, you've arrived," the physician said.

"I came as quickly as I could do, doctor," I replied.

He nodded. "Yes, of course."

I walked up beside him then, staring down at little Willy in his crib, my eyes filling with tears at the look of him, and I shivered. "Please tell me you can save him," I whispered. "Please tell me you will be able to."

"The tide could turn towards or against us, my lady duchess," the physician replied patiently, gravity in his voice. "The most important thing is to keep young master Albert cool when he needs it, and warm when he needs it. Time will tell, and we must keep a close eye upon him—"

"So, you don't know?" I whisper, unable to keep my voice from shaking as I look down upon Willy then. "You don't know whether or not you will be able to save my son?"

The physician shakes his head. "Unfortunately, I do not—and no physician would tell you different, Lady Felicity, for to tell you differently would be to tell you a falsehood, and I swore never to do so in my years of medicine."

I grip the sides of Willy's small bed, attempting to keep myself standing. "But, you shall do everything in your power to save him?" I ask, turning to look at him, my lower lip trembling. "Every trick you know—every medicinal secret—you shall use to ensure my son is saved?"

The physician managed a sad smile. "Yes, of course, my lady duchess. I shall ensure to use every trick and secret I know. But I cannot undo God's will, my lady duchess."

I shake my head, lowering my eyes to Willy, who shakes and coughs from beneath the thin blanket wrapped around him—I'd stitched it myself when I was carrying him and Toria, what seemed like a lifetime ago. "No, even you cannot undo God's will, doctor," I reply, the tears falling unbidden from my eyes.

. . .

It was on the day we received news from court that Victoria had given birth to a healthy daughter, Princess Victoria, that we buried Willy. His little headstone read ALBERT WILHELM MARQUARDT, beloved son of Wilhelm and Felicity Marquardt, beloved twin of Victoria Henrietta Marquardt, and beloved grandchild born of the lines of Marquardt and Darcy. His funeral was a crippling experienced; everyone was swathed in black, and to stand there as the snow fell around us was a daunting experience.

I knew then that Willy would have loved the snow, which made the entire funeral a bittersweet experience. As everyone crowded around the little hole, the men dropped earth upon it and the women dropped dried flowers upon it. The dried flowers symbolized death, and I refused to touch one, or to throw it down upon the coffin that held my little son. All the thoughts swarming my mind then were that I had failed and succeeded in the job of a wife in no more than a month. Not only had I given Wilhelm an heir at once, but he had been snatched away so quickly that he did not experience very much of life at all.

Papa had arrived from Pemberley the day before, holding little Toria close to him, and I embraced my daughter. All of our belongings which had made contact with Willy and his sickroom had been burned, so I was free to hold my daughter to me once again. I tried my best not to sob in front of her, for although she was an infant, I knew full well she would become upset. Toria stared up at me with those wide, dark eyes of hers; it was a miracle that she resembled all of me and none of Willy, for I don't believe I could have handled such a thing with grace.

As the month of November drew to a close, I found myself ridged around Wilhelm and could not even begin to fathom how our lives were to continue. He sensibly stayed the night in another chamber at Rosings, sensing my need for time apart, but after a week he returned to our bedchamber. I said nothing of it, and did not speak to him as the days drew to a close.

"You shall have to speak to me sometime, Felicity."

"Must I?" I whispered.

"Yes," Wilhelm replied, reaching over and attempting to take me by the hand. "I want to help you, Felicity. Please allow me to do so."

"How?" I ask him softly. "How do you propose to help me?"

"By attempting to understand what it is you're feeling, and then explain my thoughts to you," he replies. "Come, now. we owe it to one another to understand how we are coping with Willy's—"

"Don't," I said, turning to look upon him at last. "Don't say it. Don't you dare say it, Wilhelm, I beg you."

Wilhelm looks at me, overcome with sorrow. "We must learn to say it eventually, my darling. I know it is painful to hear and consider, but—"

"He was my son," I whisper then, my eyes filling with tears and my voice beginning to tremble as I spoke. "He was my son, and I gave birth to him and you shall never have what I had with him."

"He was my son, too, Felicity," Wilhelm replied. "He was just as much my son as he was your son."

I shake my head. "You don't understand. You will never have the luxury of carrying a child and birthing them, and that moment of overwhelming joy that sweeps over you after your ordeal, when they are presented to you for the first time, knowing you created that being..."

"Please understand me, Felicity, I know you are sorrowful of what happened, but you must understand that I feel just as badly as you do."

I shake my head. "You don't understand, Wilhelm. Nobody can understand how black I feel..."

"Then, tell me!" Wilhelm cries out desperately. "Tell me your thoughts so that I may attempt to understand you!"

"I am devastated because, on top of losing my precious boy, I have failed you in the process!" I burst out then, outwardly sobbing now.

"Failed me?" Wilhelm demands. "What are you talking about?"

"We have no son," I moan then, covering my café with my hands. "All families need a son and now that ours has been taken, you shall find a way to fault me for it and then you shall cast me aside..."

Wilhelm sighs then and the next thing I feel is him pulling me into his arms. "I want to impress upon you, meine geliebte, that I could never do such a thing. I informed you upon our marriage that should we be blessed with one child or a houseful, I should be content. And you know as well as I do that we have an heir—Toria. As of right now, Toria stands to legally inherit everything of ours upon our deaths, and that is satisfactory to me."

I sobbed into his arms. "After everything—losing Willy, my father's illness—I could not bear to lose you, too."

Wilhelm pulled back from me, so as he could stare down upon my face. "I am not going anywhere, Felicity. I refuse."

"And when God calls for you?" I whisper.

"Then I shall deny him for as long as I can, for I do not wish to be summoned until you may come along with me." He smiles gently down at me then and, with his thumbs, dries my tears as they fall down my cheeks. "Remember, my love, you have not failed me. God wanted Willy with him, and we must not fault him for that, meine geliebte, never."

I nod. "I shall miss him until my dying day," I whisper, leaning back into the comfort of his embrace.

Wilhelm's hand is strong upon my back. "As will I," he replies.

. . .

November melted into December and January, and I continually wrote to Victoria that I was still unable to attend court. Victoria was surprisingly very understanding towards me, and sent me Christmas fairings throughout the holidays, as well as various gifts throughout my time in Kent. As February dawned and set and March began, I began to thaw out as winter ended and as spring began. Toria was beginning to become quite comical as she grew and seemed to recognize me whenever I gathered her up from the nursery in the mornings. With the new warmer weather, I would take her outdoors with me, and Flight would dash along the garden path ahead, beside, or behind us. Flight would bark with enthusiasm if a bird flew by, and little Toria would be beside herself with laughter.

It was as March gave way to April that I began to realize a change within myself and I could hardly believe such a thing. I waited until May and June, just to be sure, and soon I quite realized what was happening within me. When Wilhelm returned from a trip to London one afternoon at the end of June, I had just told the maids to give Toria a bath as I waited in the drawing room. When Wilhelm returned, he immediately needed to speak, so I kept quiet and waited for him to share the news of court in London with me.

"Her Majesty is with child again," he said breathlessly.

I feel myself gasp a little. "So soon?" I whispered.

Wilhelm nodded. "Yes, and she asks for you," he informed me, sitting beside me upon the couch. "She tells His Royal Highness who informed me that she would like for Toria to become a companion for Princess Vicky, and that she believes they could have their lessons together, when the time comes."

I smile at that—a good negotiation, for I did not wish to leave Toria on her own, knowing that she needed me. "The physician came before you arrived," I informed him quietly.

"For Toria?" Wilhelm demanded quickly, looking around and getting to his feet in a matter of seconds. "Where is she? Is she well?"

I laughed, reaching for his hands then. "No, she is well, my love, quite well. The maids are giving her a bath."

Wilhelm sighed. "Of course, I'm sorry," he said, lowering himself to the couch beside me and taking my hands. "The physician was not here for Toria, then, I take it?" he asks.

I shake my head. "No, he came for me, at my request."

"Are you unwell, meine geliebte?" he asked, touching the back of his hand onto my forehead. "You've not got influenza, have you?"

I laughed. "It is not a disease, but it shall not go away for another six months, I fear," I reply.

"Another six...?" Wilhelm asks before his eyes widen then, lowering themselves onto my dress, my waistline expanded ever so slightly. "Felicity..."

I sigh. "I know—I know it has not been a year since we lost Willy, but we were discussing having another child. I realize that it was before we lost him, but I also know that Toria would benefit from company..."

Wilhelm nodded ever so slightly then. "It should arrive—"

"The physician believes in December," I reply. I take his hand and place it upon my barely-rounded belly. "I realize it is a shock, but I should not want you to believe I did this deliberately..."

Wilhelm gazes at me in shock. "No, of course I did not," he replies. "I should never presume to accuse you of such a thing."

I lower my eyes. "And you are not angry with me?" I asked, fearing the worst from his reaction.

Wilhelm smiles and shakes his head, clasping my hand in his. His arm had improved in the last several months, and now he did not need to wear a bandage anymore, although it still pained him now and again. "I could never be angry with you for this, Felicity," he tells me, and I raise my eyes to his. "This child shall be well looked after and loved. I am quite pleased."

I smile, dashing the tears from my eyes as I lean in to kiss him. "Mayhap this child shall be born in London before it is shipped back here until they become useful to the crown," I joke.

Wilhelm leans down then and kisses my stomach. "We shall ensure every comfort for you at court, Felicity. I shall make sure of it."

I gently pull him upwards and lean in to kiss him. "I shall hold you to that, my love, for I know you shall never break your promises to me."

. . .

Wilhelm, Toria, and I arrived at court in the first week of July, and Victoria was quite surprised to get a look at me, as I was at her. We shared in a laugh and then, after Victoria got a good look at her namesake, brought me immediately to the nursery, where Toria would be placed under the care of Lehzen. Although I was not best pleased about that portion of things at court, I knew I was free to visit Toria whenever I wished, and I knew she would be good company for Princess Vicky, as the princess would be for her.

Princess Vicky seemed to be used to visitors and raised her arms up immediately when Victoria came into view. Victoria sat upon a couch and Lehzen instantly stepped forward with the little princess and placed her into her mother's arms. It could not have been an easy task, as Victoria was five months pregnant; I, at four months into my time, managed to keep a good grip upon Toria, who eyed the pretty Princess Vicky with excitement, as the princess did her. It was a pleasant thing to see them both mutually interested in one another.

"A pleasure to meet you, Your Royal Highness," I said, bowing my head, and little Princess Vicky giggled at that.

Toria reached out then, towards her, and it was a heartwarming moment when little Princess Vicky took my daughter's hand. Turning then, we saw proud Prince Albert and my Wilhelm in the doorway, looking on. Even Lehzen seemed to be softer since the young princess had been born, and assured me that my Toria would be well taken care of. A bed had already been brought in for Toria to sleep beside Princess Vicky, and I found the arrangement all very formal.

"It was so kind of you to allow me to bring her," I informed Victoria when, at last, we were alone. "Ever since we lost Willy..." I shake my head.

Victoria reached out and took my hand. "That could not have been an easy thing for you," she replied gently. She turned and looked out the window, at the palace grounds where Prince Albert and Wilhelm had gone out riding. "With Lehzen in the nursery so much and with Harriet away from court..." She smiled and shook her head. "As you are a woman and Wilhelm a foreigner, it is quite easy to convince Sir Robert Peel of my keeping you on."

I smile at the sentiment. "That is going well? I know how much you adored Lord Melbourne when he had the position..."

"It took some adjusting," Victoria admitted, "but I feel perhaps it is time for Albert to have a Prime Minister he is not jealous of."

"Jealous?" I ask. "Of Lord Melbourne? You truly believe he was jealous during that one opportunity when his temper got the better of him, when Dash..." At once, I stop speaking, for Dash had died the year before, just after Princess Vicky had been born. "I am sorry, Victoria. Forgive me."

She smiles and shakes her head. "It is all right," she replies, absentmindedly stroking the small, white puppy in her lap. "Although she is not Dash and shall never be Dash, I am quite content with Isla."

I smile, reaching forward and stroking the head of the little thing, and Flight, from my own lap, whines in discontent. I stifle a giggle. "She is quite sorry."

Victoria laughs, petting Flight with her other hand. "Oh, yes, yes, yes. You have quite a temperament, don't you?"

"She quite loves the gardens at Rosings," I tell her. "When my pains came with Toria and Willy, she was out in them with me."

"In October?" Victoria asks, aghast.

I nod. "Yes, although I do believe the rules away from court differ. But she did not even sound the alarm when I proceeded to scream in pain."

Victoria dissolved into a fit of giggles. "No!"

"Yes!" I reply, taking up one of Flight's ears and stroking it. "I was quite annoyed when she demanded I continue to play with her. Thankfully, Wilhelm rose quickly from bed and was able to rescue me."

Victoria gazes almost unabashedly at my belly then. "Was it your intention to have further children?" she asks, not unkindly.

I bite my lip, my hand making its way to my belly, the child proceeding to kick out at me from within. "When I had the twins, initially I believed I could not take the pain that came with them," I tell her quietly. "And then when I lost Willy, I did not even want Wilhelm to touch me..."

"Not to touch you?" Victoria asked, almost as if the thought of Prince Albert never touching her again was too much to bear. "Honestly?"

"Truly," I reply. "He stayed away for a full week after we buried Willy, and then found his way back to our bedchambers. He begged me to speak with him—to tell him how I was feeling. I suppose I..." I lower my eyes, becoming lost in the many colors of Flight's fur. "I suppose I did not even consider, not for a moment, of how much Wilhelm was hurting as well..."

Victoria reached across then and took my hand in hers. "You cannot blame yourself for that," she replies. "You cannot blame yourself for wishing to keep your feelings close. Mayhap you wished to protect him from your sadness, and yet you must trust that Wilhelm shall never fault you for your feelings. Albert never faults me for mine, and he and Wilhelm are so alike, you see."

I smile. "Yes. Yes, they are so very alike."

"Now that you have returned to court, I must start the plans for the grand celebration for his knighthood," she says with a grin as I raise my eyes to hers. "I know he is grateful—he said as much to Albert when he came here himself, when you were still at Rosings."

I appreciated that Victoria did not make mention of my grieving, which, in turn, had kept us apart. "Mayhap it was good that I was away for so long," I say softly, shrugging my shoulders. "Others would have the opportunity to get close to you so as you would not be accused of favoritism..."

"I cannot have Harriet with me, as you well know, but it is wonderful that I may have you with me, Felicity."

"I was not speaking of Harriet, Victoria," I reply patiently, looking across at her, trying my best to keep my tone even.

Victoria checked herself then as she stroked Isla, the small white dog in her lap barely stirring from her slumber. "I know you and Lehzen have never seen eye to eye on most things, Felicity, but I cannot abide another in my household disliking her, I simply cannot."

"Another in your household?" I ask, wondering what had happened. "Surely, nobody else would dare to even think that—"

Victoria nods, and it stops my speech. "Yes. Albert is quite against her, I'm afraid, although she is as German as he is."

"Perhaps it is because she is not of royal or noble background," I say softly. "I hardly am, and he has no dislike for me, although I am English..."

"And you are pure of heart, and caused his great friend Wilhelm to love, something I know full well, from Albert, that your lord husband swore never to do," she tells me with a quick smile. "And you helped me through my days at Kensington, and he knows of your encouragement to let Mama in."

"And have you?" I ask her, wondering if this, something I'd hardly allowed myself to hope, had happened. "Have you let her in?"

Victoria smiles a little then. "I have," she replies. "When I had Vicky, I... I cannot explain it," she says, shaking her head. "I ordered the men away from the outside of my bedchamber—I did not want a captive audience whilst giving birth," she tells me softly. "And then, when Albert ordered them out and the doors were swinging shut, I called out for Mama," she tells me, almost as if she can scarcely believe she did such a thing herself. "I remember just shouting for her, and she came at the run and stood beside me, holding my hand and urging me to breathe and then I could allow the child to come..."

"My mother was with me as well," I say quietly. "She held Toria when I realized that I had another baby inside me..."

"Quite a shock," Victoria puts in.

I nod. "Yes, quite a shock... My father kept Toria with him at Pemberley for weeks after Willy took sick... I don't think I could have bared to lose them both in those days of darkness and shadows..."

"This new baby shall prove the darkness and shadows wrong," Victoria tells me in a soft voice. "Perhaps it shall be another son, and he may be a companion for mine and Albert's when he arrives."

"It will be a boy," I tell her, smiling. "That I feel I can say."

. . .

The hot summer passed and nearly eclipsed itself with an equally warm autumn, but at last the heat of both seasons felt free to pass as October concluded. It was in the first week of November that Victoria took to her chamber, and when I heard her screams cut through the corridors of Buckingham Palace at dawn. Immediately, I forced myself to leave my bed, Wilhelm with me, as we assisted one another in dressing before we left our chambers shortly after seven in the morning. With my large belly, I found it difficult to run, but Wilhelm kept a steady grip upon my arm as we entered Victoria's presence chamber.

Wilhelm stepped forward towards the other lords and nobleman—Sir Robert Peel, Prince Albert's brother Ernest, and King Leopold of Belgium were among them. I stepped towards the doors of Victoria's rooms, and they were suddenly flung open when a maid ran by with an empty basin and bloodied towels. Such a sight was a shock to me, and then Victoria looked up from the great bed and saw me.

"Albert! Get Felicity!" she screamed and, with Lehzen left to wipe her brow, Prince Albert immediately stepped forward.

He nodded to Wilhelm amongst the lords and grabbed me by the arm, hauling me into her bedchamber and shutting the door behind me. "Good of you to come," he threw over his shoulder, leaving me standing there as he returned to her side. "It is all right, Victoria," he assured her.

"Felicity!" Victoria screamed, her face splotched from the pain, and wretched her hand from Prince Albert's to reach for me.

Immediately, I came towards the bed then and took her hand as Prince Albert moved behind her, his hands upon her shoulders. I nodded to the Duchess of Kent and to Lehzen, who surrounded her as well. "It is all right," I said as her silver eyes met mine. "Don't give up—you shall be fine—"

"Your Majesty, I hardly think it is appropriate for the Duchess of Marquardt to be here," Lehzen emitted then, her voice uttering my title almost begrudgingly. "I should think, that in her condition, she will be much happier in her chambers, unseen by the court—"

"Stop," Victoria said quietly. "Please stop..."

"Your Majesty, I really think—" she began again.

"And you, baroness, overstep," Prince Albert said, his voice cutting across hers, his brown eyes flashing with contained anger. "I'll not have you upsetting my wife. If having Lady Felicity here pleases her, then Lady Felicity shall remain."

"It does please me," Victoria replied, her voice small.

"I just believe that, in her condition, perhaps she would be—"

"Baroness, please," said the Duchess of Kent, cutting across Lehzen. "I initially let my opinion of Lady Felicity become manipulated, based upon her direct connection with Sir John Conroy because of her father, but, once free of his influence, I soon discovered that she was a wonderful addition to my dear Drina's household. I could not allow my daughter to be parted from her, especially now, in her hour of great need."

"However, duchess, as you rightly know, it was I who had your daughter's ear for so long, that perhaps Her Majesty's vision is so clouded that—"

"You dare question the motives of the queen?" I demand, my voice like the crack of a whip. "How dare you? How dare you try to overrule her happiness? It is not good for her," I say, narrowing my eyes at her. "I've had enough of your hatred of me, baroness, but we shall have to set that aside until the birth happens," I say, and turn my eyes from the baroness and back to Victoria. "It is all right," I say to her as her eyes meet mine again. "It is all right—we none of us are going anywhere, and we shall not leave you."

I smile then as she shuts her eyes, concentrating on the birth and it is then that I feel a second pair of eyes upon me. Looking up, I see Prince Albert staring at me, and he gives me the faintest of smiles. He and I are truly bonded in our mutual dislike of Baroness Lehzen, and our love for Victoria, I see that now.

Nearly four hours passes until Victoria's pains come to an end, and the physician is summoned quickly enough as she is delivered of a prince. The prince is soon washed and wrapped up carefully before he is placed in her arms. As the Duchess of Kent, Lehzen, and I make awed noises over the precious baby, Prince Albert advances upon the doors and opens them. Looking up, I see Wilhelm among the lords and Prime Minister, and I wait as they do with baited breath.

"My lords, we have a prince," Prince Albert tells them, and there are many sighs of relief from among them.

"He shall be Prince Albert," Victoria tells us softly as her husband returns to her side, a smile on his lips as he gazes down at his namesake. "I should think he shall be Prince Albert Edward," she says, kissing his forehead and peeking up at Prince Albert, who nods.

"We shall need something to differentiate him from myself," Prince Albert says, smiling down at his son.

"Was Papa called anything, Mama?" Victoria asked.

The duchess sighed and shook her head. "No, always Edward," she replied, a little regretfully.

"Your Majesty, if I may," I said softly, and Victoria, Prince Albert, Lehzen, and the duchess all turned to look at me. "Perhaps you might call him 'Bertie', as a shortened version of Albert."

"Prince Bertie," Prince Albert said softly.

"Bertie, Prince of Wales," Lehzen said, narrowing her eyes. "I don't like it. The people will think we are ennobling a bird..."

"Nonsense," the duchess said, and I saw then that she was smiling. "I think 'Bertie' is perfectly lovely. Such a darling name..."

"Bertie it shall be," Victoria rules then, running her finger along her son's fat little cheek, and gasped a little when he smiled. "Oh, my boy," she whispered.

I was able to excuse myself from Victoria's rooms shortly thereafter, and quickly cursed myself as I neared my suite of rooms. Mayhap I should have listened to Lehzen, for perhaps if I did, my own pains would not have begun. After I managed to summon Wilhelm, I found myself gripping the frame of our great bed, tears coming from my eyes as the pains shot through me.

"Dear God, not again," I whispered.

Wilhelm arrived shortly thereafter, and was quickly able to summon the physician, who came at the run, likely because I was a duchess and of somewhat importance to Victoria. My maid put me into a white cotton nightdress and I was made to return to bed immediately; by the time Wilhelm returned with the physician, I was all prepared to give birth. Wilhelm was permitted to remain with me, and all I could do to keep myself calm was done. I shivered from the weight put upon me; I did not wish to fail a second time.

Noon came and Victoria sent for me, and I urged my maid to tell her that I was unwell and not to be disturbed. I knew Victoria would know what had befallen me, and I also knew that Lehzen would smirk behind her pale hand at being proven correct. I knew too that Prince Albert would pray for me, and that Toria would be kept safe in the royal nursery with Princess Vicky, although I wondered if Lehzen would take to stabbing her with needles to vent her frustrations.

Wilhelm kept his hands firmly upon my shoulders, as Prince Albert had done for Victoria, and as I leaned into him, tears blinded my vision as I felt as if something would rip away from me at any moment. I had believed that I could handle the pain again, and yet I was sorely mistaken. However, I would not allow myself to be beaten in this natural task, so I gritted my teeth and heeded the physician's yells to push, and push I did. One hand gripping Wilhelm's and the other gripping my coverlet, as the clocks chimed three that afternoon, I was finally permitted to throw myself back against Wilhelm as the baby came forth from me then.

"Ah, here we are," the physician said cheerfully, taking the rather plump thing from between my legs and tidying it up. "There we are now... Come on," he urged it, before smacking its bottom, sending a shriek throughout the chamber. "There we are," he said, nodding at my maid who held out a swath of linen for it. It was wrapped up hastily and presented to me, and I caught a glimpse of raven hair as the baby was handed over.

"Is it...?" I whispered, hardly daring to have a look.

"A healthy daughter, my lady duchess," the physician replied.

Quickly, I turned to look up at Wilhelm, fearing displeasure, and was shocked to find tears in his eyes as he leaned down and kissed her forehead. "Wilhelm?" I asked, and I cursed myself when I found my voice trembled.

"She is perfection," he whispered.

I found I smiled up at him then as my maid and the physician left the room, and I managed to kiss him on the cheek. "I think it right to call her Maria Anna—after your mother," I say, and I feel a flush of pride when Wilhelm looks quickly over at me with shock. "And why not? She was a wonderful woman, and so too shall our second daughter be—"

My words are muffled when Wilhelm closes the distance between us and suddenly kisses me. "You are wonderful, meine geliebte," he whispers.

I smile up at him, before turning to look back down at our daughter, who now sleeps in my arms. "My maid shall have to fetch Toria eventually—she will want to meet her sister, I suspect."

"Let us have this moment with her," Wilhelm rules softly, stroking Maria Anna's hand, curled into a soft fist. The baby quickly shakes ever so slightly, before opening her fist and making a grab for his finger. "She is truly perfection, meine geliebte," he tells me.

I smiled down at her then. "She is... So like her father..."

"I find she is more like her mother," he replies.

I let out a small laugh then. "Nevertheless, I find I have never been happier, although I shall continue to hope for a boy for you, my love..."

Wilhelm shakes his head. "It does not matter to me," he tells me for what must have been the twentieth time in all our marriage. "I shall be quite content with two daughters or a houseful. It does not matter to me."

"And that is just one of many reasons why I love you," I whisper.

"One of many?" Wilhelm asks, chuckling. "How many are there?"

"A fair few," I reply, "and someday I shall tell you them all."