A/N I've had a few people who were concerned that now that I'm focusing on Loki, I'll forget about Tony and Steve and their father/son relationship but don't worry. There will still be Tony and Steve moments. They may be fewer and farther between but they will still be included.

Also, I hope you guys are in this for the long haul because this will quite easily be the longest story I've written so far (not counting my one-shot series).

Thanks to the awesome people who take the time to leave me such wonderful reviews! I love you guys and it makes me happy to know you are getting some enjoyment and entertainment out of this story. :)

ImperfectIsPerfect

Agent Ruby Red

Son-of-hiddle

Ophelia Lokisdottir

aliceindeepdarkwonderland

AmeliaRoseOswald

patty cake rocks

Warning: Descriptions of torture.

Painful Revelations

Loki knew what came next, but no one else did. Up until then, most everyone knew part or all of what they had seen, but what came next was something only Loki knew about. There was an entire year that no one in the room knew the events of and Loki would have preferred to keep it that way for the rest of his life. Now, however, the choice was no longer his. Soon everyone would know what happened between when he let go and when he arrived on Earth.

Loki was in for a bumpy ride.

Sure enough, suddenly, the feeling of falling, flailing, tearing, ripping, cutting, and burning all exploded throughout the darkness as the inky black seemed to shoot by, occasional lights here and there blurring past. The feeling of falling was full of pain and fear and disorientation.

"Where is this?" Thor asked.

"The Void," Loki said softly, struggling, and failing, to keep the slight trembling out of his voice.

Suddenly, The Void seemed to open up in the distance and stars could be seen. The opening quickly drew closer and as it did, a planet could be seen on the other side of The Void.

As the darkness finally began to lighten, they were able to see that the memory Loki was falling through The Void and toward the planet. The closer the planet got, the more they could make out its gray, craggy surface, which was devoid of any and all life. In a word, the planet looked dead.

Loki hurtled through the planet's atmosphere, falling faster and faster until he slammed into the ground with a mighty boom, sending a shock wave over the surface of the planet for miles and creating a huge crater in the rocky ground.

As the dust settled, gasps echoed through the throne room as Loki could finally be seen. He was laying in the center of the crater, and those watching couldn't figure out how he was still alive, let alone conscious. If he hadn't been Asgardian, or rather Jotun, he wouldn't have survived at all.

He laid in a heap, burns, bruises, and gashes covering his body. His clothes were ripped and his cape and helmet were missing. He was bloody and covered in dirt and ash and more than a few bones looked broken and out of place. His raspy and labored breathing echoed in the silence of the planet and he trembled in pain where he lay. As they watched, Loki squeezed his eyes closed and, with difficulty, curled his hand into a fist. A second later, a green light shimmered over Loki's body. The crowd heard the sickening pops of joints and bones being returned to their correct places.

Loki hissed through clenched teeth as his broken body started repairing itself. After a minute, the green light flickered out and Loki was left panting in exhaustion, partially healed but still in bad shape. A few minutes later, he began again. After another minute, he was forced to stop again as he drained what little strength he had. The cycle continued for nearly an hour, Loki would heal himself for a few seconds until he was too drained to continue, then he would rest for several minutes before trying again. After an hour, Loki had managed to heal all of his broken and dislocated bones and even the worst of his burns and gashes.

He still looked a sight, cut up with dried blood all over him and almost completely spent, but he no longer looked like he should be dead. With great effort, and a herculean amount of will, Loki forced his aching, battered, and exhausted body to sit up. He hissed in pain again but didn't cry out. He knew he wouldn't be able to force his body to stand so, as demeaning as it was, he started to crawl. It wasn't like there was anyone there to see him, and why should he care even if there was? He had lost everything. He had failed at everything. He had even failed at killing himself. Nothing mattered anymore.

He slowly crawled to where the crater started to slope upward. He paused, looking at the daunting task and wondering for a moment why he was even trying. He supposed, even after everything, his desire to live was still too strong. If only he could have the good sense to give up, lay down, and die. Everything would be a lot less painful, in so many ways.

He took a few deep breaths before forcing himself to start crawling up the side of the crater. It took over ten minutes and more than once, he would slip on the loose rock, slide down several feet, and have to pause to catch his breath as sweat streamed down his face. But eventually he made it to the top of the crater and pulled himself over the edge. He laid on his back on the ground next to the crater, breathing hard and shaking with the effort, but he had made it.

"Well done, Little Princeling," an oily voice said.

Loki, so exhausted from his climb and his injuries, couldn't leap to his feet like he wished and instead was forced to simply turn his head to see a grotesque creature with a large red mouth looking at him. Or he assumed it was looking at him, considering Loki couldn't see the thing's eyes due to the hood it was wearing.

"Who are you? Where am I?" Loki rasped, his voice rough from disuse and dehydration.

"I, Loki of Asgard, am your worst nightmare and I welcome you to Hell," the creature said.

Then it reached forward and grabbed Loki by the back of his collar and started walking, dragging Loki behind him. Loki tried to fight back, to free himself, but he was so drained he couldn't put up much of a fight, and every time he tried, the creature would shake him so hard stars would dance in Loki's vision. The trickster soon learned to stop struggling.

For the next hour, he was dragged, mercilessly, across the hard, and unforgiving ground. Rock and small ledges, both sharp and unyielding, jutted up from the almost rock-like ground, cutting and bruising his back as he was purposely dragged over, and knocked into, them. But despite the constant pain, Loki remained silent, determined to never let any sign of pain slip past his lips.

Finally, the creature stopped and threw Loki forward. Loki hit the ground with a grunt, rolling a few feet before coming to a stop. Loki looked up to see a tall, purple-skinned man towering over him. The man bent down closer to Loki and an evil grin spread across his face.

"Hello, Loki Odinson," he said.

"How do you know my name?" Loki asked.

"Oh, I know a lot about you," the man replied before turning to the creature who had brought Loki there. "Well done. Take him to his cell."

The creature grinned widely before grabbing Loki again. It was hard to see where they were going since Loki's back was to wherever the creature was headed, and with his collar gripped firmly in the creature's fist, it was almost impossible for Loki to crane his head around enough to see. But he did manage to get a glimpse of what looked like a fortress carved right into the rock of a sheer cliff face.

Loki was dragged inside the fortress and tossed into a small room. The room was empty except for a metal collar attached to a two foot chain that was bolted to the floor. The creature Loki had taken to mentally referring to as The Other pulled Loki over to the collar. It didn't take a genius to figure out what was about to happen next. Loki was pulled to his knees and turned to face the door.

He tried to struggle against the hold on him but he was still too weak and the metal collar was secured around his neck. Then Loki heard stone grate against stone as two panels, one on either side of him, retracted to reveal shackles, attached to chains, which were each wound around a large winch. The mechanism that was keeping the winches from rotating, was released, allowing the chains to unwind and be pulled over to Loki. The wide metal shackles were secured to each of his forearms. Then the winches were turned, winding the chains back around them and pulling the slack out of them until Loki's arms were stretched out to either side of him.

For a moment, Loki feared the chains would continue pulling until they pulled him apart, but he needn't have worried as, once the slack was out, the big wheels stopped rewinding the chains and they were locked into place. The shackles asserted enough pressure on Loki to keep him from changing from his current position, aside from perhaps lowering himself flat to the the floor to lay face down with his arms pulled to either side. But thankfully the pressure was not enough to cause him any pain. Although crouching on his knees, doubled over thanks to the collar around his neck not allowing him to sit up fully, and both arms stretched to either side with enough pressure to not allow him to move to either side, was definitely less than comfortable.

Once Loki was secured into place, The Other left and the purple man entered the room.

"Who are you?" Loki asked, using a bit of his weakened magic to strengthen and smooth his rough and weakened voice.

"My name is Thanos," the purple man said.

"Why am I here?" Loki asked.

"You are here because I brought you here," Thanos answered.

"What do you mean?" Loki asked.

"Oh, come now. Think about it," Thanos said. "All those things you said and did that you could never possibly imagine yourself doing. All those thoughts that weren't quite yours."

"You controlled me," Loki said.

"Manipulated actually. I believe the Earth term is brainwash," Thanos said.

"How?" Loki asked.

"With this," Thanos said, pulling out a small jewel that glowed with an ethereal blue light. "It's a jewel that is powered by an object called the Tesseract and I used that power to bring you here. It can't fully control someone from that distance, especially not a mind as strong as yours. But it could reach into your subconscious, to the emotions there. All the hurts and fears you pushed down, and you had ever so many for it to choose from. It brought them to the surface and made them so much stronger. Then it warped and twisted them to use against you. The process was subtle and slow. It couldn't very well order you to kill your brother right away. Not only would you have refused, you would have also noticed you were being influenced. It had to start small, playing on your doubts about your idiotic brother's readiness to lead, and build up from there. Step by step until you went from playing a mostly harmless prank, to actually killing your brother. Pity that hammer of his brought him back, though."

"You shut up about my brother!" Loki yelled.

"You still care for him. I can't believe, after everything, you still care for him. For them. See, the tesseract's power showed me a few of your memories. You were always the son who could never measure up, the son who could only succeed at cheap tricks, the son who lived in the shadow and ridicule of an arrogant, spoiled older brother, the son who was always a disappointment. And yet, even now, you still care for them. Sentiment. If you weren't so valuable to me, I'd kill you right now, but I need someone with a mind as strong as yours. Given, that makes things more difficult since that means the jewel can't fully take over your mind yet. The tesseract itself could but, unfortunately, it is not in my possession."

"What makes you think I would do anything for you? You made me nearly start a war. You made me kill my brother. You made me kill the king of another realm and you nearly made me wipe out an entire race!" Loki yelled angrily.

"And you were too weak to see it through. But no matter, once you are completely under the tesseract's control I'll be able to make you do whatever I wish."

"You said yourself you couldn't control me, and I will never willingly help you."

Thanos moved closer and bent down until his face was directly in front of Loki's.

"No, Little Prince, I said I couldn't control you yet."

)()()(

"Wha... What did he mean?" Thor asked, sounding like he was having trouble getting the words out.

Loki sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. He didn't want to relive this and he certainly didn't want to have to explain it, but as the magic paused the memory, he knew that they couldn't get this over with until he did.

"My mind was too strong for the jewel to completely take me over. The jewel only channeled the tesseract's power but it was a weakened version of the cube. Thanos had to weaken me both physically and mentally first before he could control me," Loki said, not meeting anyone's eyes.

"But you didn't have to do that with me," Clint said.

"That's because he already had me and I had the tesseract," Loki said. "My proximity to the tesseract strengthened the amount of power going into the jewel and with me fully under the tesseract's control, Thanos was able to use me as a sort of relay, or conduit, to enhance the jewel further. The tesseract channeled it's power through me, like a circuit, and into the jewel. Once Thanos had me completely under his control, he could take over anyone else he wanted. It took more time and effort with me because of the distance from the tesseract and because he had no one to channel it through."

"But you said you were too strong and he had to weaken you," Steve said, having read between the lines.

"How did he do that?" Tony asked, on the same page with Steve.

Loki was silent for a long moment before he said one word.

"Torture."

Loki refused to look at anyone, so he didn't see the stricken expressions on his family's faces. He could still feel their stares, though, the stares of so many people, so many eyes, and in the deafening silence it was oppressive. Fortunately for Loki, he didn't have to endure it for long as the magic resumed the memories. But as soon as it did, Loki found he actually preferred the silent stares. It was preferable to watching himself be tortured mercilessly.

)()()(

Thanos began by breaking. He broke Loki's hands, his arms, his feet, and his legs. But he didn't just break those appendages, he broke every bone in every one of Loki's fingers, one by one, then he smashed the rest of Loki's hand, then broke his forearm, then broke his upper arm. Then he moved to the other hand and did the same. Then he moved to Loki's feet and legs. With monumental effort, Loki gritted his teeth and refused to make a sound, not even a grunt or a hiss passed his lips.

Once Thanos was finished with his breaking, he watched in sick fascination as Loki instinctively used his magic to heal himself. Loki was still weakened and drained but he was able to eventually heal all of the breaks and sagged against his bonds, panting as the pain finally faded.

"Well, this is going to be fun after all," Thanos said with a sadistic smirk.

From there, Thanos began a wide range of torture; beating, cutting, whipping, burning, and after every one, Thanos waited for Loki to heal himself and even repair his often shredded clothing with his magic, each time taking longer to do so due to fatigue. Then Thanos would begin again with something new. Some of the worst tortures being the metal pokers and rods, the ends glowing orange and the smell of burnt flesh as the burning metal was dragged and carved over Loki's chest and back. Loki couldn't decide which was worse, that or the whip Thanos would crack across Loki's back, flaying flesh from bone with every strike.

Loki tried as hard as he could to hold his tongue, to be strong, and to not give Thanos the satisfaction, but he could only take so much and eventually hisses and grunts of pain began to escape him, followed by groans and short cries before eventually full on screams began to rip from his throat despite his efforts to hold on to them.

The real Loki closed his eyes and kept them that way as the memories played out in front of everyone. He didn't need to see them. He remembered every hit, every cut, every pain, and every scream. They were seared into his mind and his nerve endings. He didn't need to watch this again to remember. For the rest of his life, he would never forget. Not for the first time, Loki was grateful his magic kept him from being scarred by his torture. He didn't need a physical reminder.

Unfortunately, although Loki could close his eyes, blocking out the sight of his nightmares, he couldn't block out the sounds. The sounds of his pain and the sounds of the horror and disgust of the spectators as they could see everything Loki went through and even sense echos of Loki's pain. It was all part of the experience that the magic was projecting. But while the others would only get a detached experience of the feelings that were coming, Loki had the disadvantage of having the memory of the pain and fear, making this experience all too real for him, to the point that it almost felt like he was literally reliving it.

Loki gritted his teeth and swallowed thickly. He couldn't control the memories. He couldn't turn them off or change them. He had to endure them as everyone else watched along. He didn't, however, have to suffer the indignity of throwing up in front of everybody. That was one thing he could control, and no matter how much his stomach roiled with nausea with every one of his screams, he would not let it show.

The torture seemed to last forever but in actuality, the magic was only showing the highlights, if one could call them that, and compressing the rest, such as the times when Thanos would leave him alone and let him rest long enough so he wouldn't die during the next session. He would torture Loki for hours at a time, then stop and watch in fascination as Loki's magic, weakened by pain and fatigue sought to heal him of his grievous injuries. It always took a while for his strained magic to slowly heal his body little by little but Thanos always gave him the time needed, even allowing him to repair his tattered clothing, which might have seemed like a waste of energy, but Loki rather preferred to not suffer the additional indignity of being naked.

However, Loki knew the only reason the Titan allowed him the time was because Thanos needed him alive and in one piece to carry out his plans. Loki wasn't sure what Thanos wanted but it must have been important as Thanos even went so far as to have some kind of creature come and feed him something that looked horrible and tasted worse, but it would keep him alive, which was what Thanos wanted. Loki tried to refuse the vile substance but that just made them pry his mouth open and force feed him to the point of choking. So, finally, he just forced the stuff down, along with the dirty water they made him drink.

He never fed or watered Loki often enough to allow him to regain any kind of strength nor did he let Loki rest long enough to recharge his magic to any great degree. Thanos provided Loki with just enough to keep him alive but weak enough so he couldn't escape.

The main bulk of those, mostly unimportant, parts were quickly glossed over in the memories so everyone could get a sense of the passage of time but without it having to take as long as it lasted in reality. Even some of the rather repetitive elements of the torture was skimmed over in favor of the more "interesting" portions.

"How long was this?" Bruce asked, as the memories skipped over more repetitive parts.

"I couldn't be positive on the exact passage of time, but at this point I believe it was about two months in," Loki said matter of fact.

"Two months!" Steve exclaimed. "How long were you held captive?"

"I believe it was around six months before Thanos succeeded in taking over my mind," Loki said, somehow managing to keep his tone emotionless.

"You were tortured on a regular basis for six months?" Clint exclaimed. "Why? Was he just that sadistic?"

"He needed to take over my mind. It took him that long to do it," Loki said through clenched teeth.

"You were gone for almost a year, though," Frigga said, taking a few steps forward. "What happened the rest of the time?"

Loki was silent for a long moment before finally speaking.

"By the time I landed on that planet it was somewhere around four months after I fell," Loki said simply.

"Then where were you for the first four months?" Thor asked.

"The Void," Loki said as if it were obvious.

"You were falling through pitch black space for four months?" Tony asked in astonishment.

"And survived?" Steve added.

"As I said, I cannot be sure of the exact passage of time, but I believe so," Loki said, once more avoiding meeting anyone's eyes, and as such he missed the shocked and awed expressions directed at him.

"So for all that time, he just beat you and whipped you like we've already seen?" Clint asked, sounding hopeful that it wouldn't get any worse than it already was.

"If only," Loki said with a derisive snort, the words chilling those around him. "Thanos was nothing if not creative. He found a much worse torture."

"What?" Thor asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

Loki's response froze everyone in the room in horror.

"Death."

)()()(

Thanos was once again whipping Loki but this time he had made an addition to his whip. He had electrified it. Every time the whip snapped into Loki's shredded back, a jolt of electricity shot through him, leaving him writhing and screaming in agony on the floor. When it was just a regular whip, it was mostly endurable but with the electricity running through it, every time Thanos sent it snapping into Loki's back, shocks of painful energy shot through the chained man even as the electrified whip ripped the skin from his back, cutting him, burning him, and electrocuting him all at once.

This went on for some time, the whip making contact for longer stretches of time, sending bolts of electricity through Loki's frame for several seconds at a time, until, after the months of torture, Loki's body could stand no more abuse and it finally gave out.

His heart pounded and squeezed. His breathing came in short, desperate pants as he sought the air he needed but couldn't seem to get. His chest was tight and painful. It felt like someone was squeezing his ribcage and crushing the oh so vital organs inside. Pain quickly shot to his head, making it feel as if it were exploding from the inside out in slow motion. It felt as if his very body had turned against him and began to torture him as well. He pulled against his chains, desperately trying to get away from the pain coming from within his own body. The chains didn't budge, though, and the pain only intensified.

It felt like he was trapped in that agony for years, the pain steadily getting worse until with one last agonizing jolt, his heart stopped and he laid lifelessly on the floor amidst the chains, now slackened slightly by the lack of resistance.

"He is dead master. It seems his heart gave out," The Other said.

The rage on Thanos' face had even the spectators in the throne room shrinking back warily.

"The worthless, good for nothing, weak-" Thanos yelled at Loki in frustration at losing what he needed for his invasion.

The whip cracked forward, hitting Loki's body and sending energy skittering through him once more. Loki jerked as the shock ran through his battered heart and restarted it. With a loud gasp of breath, life returned to his body. He laid there, shaking and gasping for air as his abused body tried to hold onto the life that it had just managed to reacquire. Through the haze of pain and exhaustion, Loki slowly raised his eyes to look at the monster holding the whip and smiling evilly down at him.

Things were about to get so much worse.

A/N Thoughts? Feel free to drop me a review and let me know. :)