A/N This chapter should answer a few questions and start giving you guys a bit of an idea where I'm going with the story for now. I really hope you guys will like what I have planned! :)

Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed!

RossyGaray

aliceindeepdarkwonderland

Aka-Baka Hoshi

FanFictionQueen1

Ophelia Lokisdottir

ImperfectIsPerfect

Son-of-hiddle

evilunicorn11

RoxasGuyXIII

This is Where The Healing Begins

The throne room returned to stunned silence as the memories ended and the magic released the occupants.

Steve found himself glancing at his watch, surprised to see the time. Although it had felt like days or even weeks had been passing while they watched the memories, in the real world, apparently no more than an hour had passed. The spell must have compressed time and made the memories feel much longer than they actually were. Almost like a dream. A terrible, horrifying, heart-wrenching dream.

The shocked silence reigned for a long moment before the room erupted with low murmurings about everything that had just been witnessed. All of the people in the room were still in the same places they had been before the horrific, and equally amazing, memories had begun. Loki found himself returned to his position kneeling on the floor, never having actually physically moved from it. He felt as if he had been doused with a bucket of ice water as reality forcefully reasserted itself.

Loki had put a lot of effort into pushing down his memories, thoughts, and emotions. Shoving them as far back in his mind as he could and locking them away so he could try to ignore and forget them. But now all those memories and emotions had been grabbed and forcibly yanked to the forefront of his mind. As he knelt on the hard floor, shackles once more biting into his wrists, all he could see was his blood, all he could feel was the pain, and all he could hear were his own screams of agony mixed with the screams of others as they died at his hands.

He could feel a single tear rolling down his cheek and couldn't find the strength to wipe it away as he trembled slightly, not enough for anyone to see but it was still there.

In that moment, he felt like a man adrift in a raging sea, getting tossed and spun around. He desperately needed something to hold onto as the raging waters sought to overcome him but he could find nothing. That was, until his shackles were suddenly falling away and strong arms were pulling him to his feet and holding onto him. Loki wanted to push Odin away. He wanted to hate him. But at that moment he felt so much like a lost little boy who just needed his father to hold him. So, just this once, Loki allowed himself a moment of weakness as he wrapped his arms around the man he had always called father and returned the embrace. He trembled again and the arms around him tightened.

"Oh, My Son, what you have been through," Odin murmured sadly and Loki wasn't sure whether Odin was sad that Loki had had to go through that or if he was once more disappointed in Loki for being such a failure.

It really could have been either one, but Loki was almost betting on the latter. After all, Thor was who Loki was always compared to and Thor wouldn't have been so weak or so pathetic. Thor was never weak, as Loki had been repeatedly reminded his whole life.

After a moment, Odin released Loki and turned him to face the crowd, effectively silencing all conversation.

"Let it be known!" Odin proclaimed, his voice echoing through the hall. "Loki Odinson is innocent of all crimes. My son has come home, and in two weeks time, there will be a feast in his honor!"

Before Loki could even think about concealing his shock, he had already jerked his head around to stare at Odin in surprise. It couldn't be that simple, could it? He was supposed to be punished, not let off the hook. Had Loki's memories really moved Odin that much? Could it be possible that Odin actually cared? Or was he once again playing some angle that Loki could not yet see?

Loki had no answers, and to be honest, which he so rarely was, he wasn't sure he really wanted to know.

The great hall was silent for a long moment, after Odin's declaration, before the crowd broke into cheers, the entire throne room reverberating with them. Loki wasn't sure whether the cheers and applause were genuine or not, but it felt good to hear them nonetheless.

"He is a Frost Giant! He doesn't deserve to be let off. He doesn't deserve to live! He should have been put to death years ago, not raised as a Prince of Asgard. He's a monster!" one of the old council members, who Loki recognized as one who had never liked him, suddenly yelled, stepping forward.

The silence that pervaded the room after the outburst was deafening. This was what Loki had been expecting, hatred and fear. He hadn't ever expected understanding or to be pardoned. He found it almost comforting to encounter something he had expected. Although the fact that he found someone yelling for his death comforting, probably wasn't a favorable indication of his mental state. However, Loki was no longer sure what constituted a favorable mental state for him anymore.

For a long, terrible moment no one moved, until Odin finally spoke, his eyes never leaving the councilman in front of him.

"Thor, clear the room and take Loki and your friends with you," Odin commanded.

"But Father-"

"Now." Odin said firmly, leaving no room for further argument.

"Yes, Father," Thor replied.

Loki studied Odin's face, trying to discern what the Allfather was thinking. Would Odin agree with the man? Praise him for his words? Loki knew Odin wouldn't defend him. He never had before.

Loki glanced at his mother. Surely she would stand up for him. She had always professed to love him. But with everything that had happened, after all he had done, would she? Some bonds could only stretch so far and if anyone could stretch one to the breaking point, it was Loki.

Once the Asgardian citizens had filed out, Thor grabbed Loki's arm, gently pulling him along as Thor ushered his friends out of the room. The large doors closed behind them, leaving Odin, Frigga, and the twelve Asgardian council members alone in the room.

Frigga was ready to jump to her son's defense and rip the little worm in front of her apart. But she never got the chance.

"Whatever else Loki may be, he is my son, and that makes him a Prince of Asgard and you will treat him as such. If I ever hear you say another word insulting, belittling, or threatening toward my son, it will be the last you ever speak," Odin said in a low, deadly voice that made all the council members pale with fear and left the one who had spoken against Loki, all but trembling before the king.

Frigga fairly beamed with love and pride for her husband.

)()()(

After the throne room doors closed, the Avengers had congregated outside, talking quietly while they waited for someone to emerge. Loki stood apart from the group and few feet away, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. He kept his gaze straight ahead, not looking at the group, but out of the corner of his eye, he could still see Thor shooting longing but unsure glances at him.

Thor wasn't the only one who wanted to talk to Loki. All of the Avengers kept glancing at the youngest prince. However, none of them knew how to approach the dark-haired man, nor what to say to him after everything they had seen.

Loki didn't have a problem with that at all. The last thing he wanted to do was talk to anyone, let alone his enemies and the idiot who he once called brother.

Loki closed his eyes, fighting to keep from growling in frustration as his thoughts once more turned caustic and cruel. He reminded himself that those feelings were left behind by the tesseract. That wasn't him. He ignored the part of himself that wondered but what if it is?

Before Thor could work up enough nerve to go talk to his brother, the throne room doors opened and Frigga stepped out. The group immediately fell silent and Loki straightened and turned to face her. His mind burning with the need to know if she had stood up for him, but his pride refusing to let him ask.

However, that didn't last long before he just couldn't stand it anymore. He had to know.

"Did you defend me?"

He had intended for it to come out derisive or even indifferent but he mentally cursed his voice for betraying him as the question came out more as a hopeful plea.

"I didn't have to," she said sending a loving look at Odin as the Allfather stepped into the hallway.

Odin was wearing an expression of innocence that practically screamed that he had no idea what Frigga was talking about but Thor had never had to wonder where Loki had learned his skill for hiding his emotions from. That was why Odin had always been able to see through Loki's masks. But that also went both ways somewhat.

Loki had always been a bit more adept than most at seeing through Odin's facades. Whatever the youngest prince saw must have been good as Loki's stance toward his father relaxed a bit. It was very slight and most would not notice it, but Thor did and he knew something had improved, albeit slightly, between his brother and father.

Perhaps a bit of respect had been re-earned.

)()()(

The Avengers and Thor were all gathered in one of the spacious guest rooms in the palace. Natasha and Clint were sitting on a small but luxurious sofa, facing a coffee table. Steve was sitting in an armchair next to Clint's side of the sofa and Bruce was in another armchair across from them. Thor was standing, staring out the window, his back to the others, while Tony stood, leaning against one wall, his arms crossed and a contemplative look on his face.

Not long after Frigga and Odin had emerged from the throne room, Loki had disappeared to his chambers. Thor had wanted to go after him, but Tony could tell from the expression on Loki's face that he needed some space to think about things and had urged Thor to wait. Now the six of them were in Tony's assigned room and were discussing everything they had seen and discovered.

"Steve," Thor said, somewhat hesitantly as he turned from the window. "May I ask why you insisted on coming to Asgard? You didn't know then everything we now know."

"I wanted to help him," Steve admitted. "I didn't know everything but I was pretty sure he was innocent and I just... saw something in his eyes that..." he trailed off, trying to find the words.

Tony moved over to stand behind the chair Steve was sitting on and put a hand on his son's shoulder, squeezing it in silent support.

"I can just kind of understand him a little," Steve said, a bit of pain leaking into his voice. "Our situations weren't the same but he spent a year separated from the people he cares most about, and you all saw his memories. He wanted nothing more than to see his family again but he also never thought he would. He had lost all hope of that ever happening and for a year, he went through a living nightmare alone. I can understand what it's like to have your whole life ripped away from you, then go through terrible, traumatic things virtually by yourself. But I got a second chance and so did Loki. We got what most people never do and I don't want Loki to waste it, because if he does, I know he will regret it for the rest of his life."

Tony leaned down and hugged Steve from behind, a silent promise of love and support through whatever Steve was dealing with. Steve reached up and gripped Tony's forearms, sighing and relaxing slightly as his demons retreated just a bit at his father's touch. After a moment, Tony reluctantly let go and took a step back so he could lean against the wall but also stay near his son.

Steve wasn't okay. He had traveled through time, gone through war, and lost more than one friend before all but sacrificing his life and getting trapped in ice for seventy years. To top it off, he had had hardly any time to deal with it all. Steve wasn't okay, but really none of them were. All six of them were damaged. They all had things they were dealing with, but they also had each other. Loki was going through some rough things too but he didn't have friends to lean on, which was why Steve wanted to help him.

"He acts okay," Steve said, referring to the front Loki had put up, the same kind of front most of them wore to hide their wounds and baggage from others.

"He's not," Clint confirmed. "You don't go through something like that and walk away without being affected. Whatever act he's putting on, he's not okay."

Steve reached out and squeezed Clint's shoulder, knowing he wasn't just talking about Loki anymore.

"Is there anything we can do for him?" Steve asked, also not just talking about Loki.

"Just be there for him. He needs time and people who care."

"He's got them," Steve said. "You both do."

"Clint, I don't want to dredge anything up..." Bruce trailed off.

"It's all right. What do you want to know?" Clint asked.

"The pain Loki felt when he was taken over, was it that bad for you?" Bruce asked gently.

"No," Clint sighed. "It didn't feel good by any stretch of the imagination, but it wasn't even half as bad as Loki. It was more like an echo compared to what he felt. You know, I want to be mad at him. I want to hate him so bad, and maybe part of me does, but after seeing all of that, I don't know."

"Anyone would want to hate him after what was done to you. It may not have been him who actually did it but it was his face," Bruce said.

"But the funny thing is, I'm mad, but not really at him. I'm mad because I can't be mad at him. How stupid is that?" Clint asked with a self-depreciating laugh.

"It's not stupid," Tony said softly. "You want to be angry at someone for what happened to you, but the one person who you could be angry at, is innocent. So now you don't have anyone to hate."

"But it's irrational. I shouldn't be angry because I can't be angry," Clint said.

Tony pushed off the wall, walking over and putting his hand on Clint's shoulder as he crouched down in front of the archer.

"Take it from someone who knows way more than he wants to about anger. It's hardly ever rational and it hardly ever makes sense," Tony said. "But the important thing, and this is what you need to remember, is that it's okay to feel the way you do. There's nothing wrong with you and it's not stupid."

"I just hate feeling this way," Clint mumbled, trying hard to hide how vulnerable he really felt.

"I'm not going to lie to you, it's going to take time. But I promise you, you won't feel this way forever," Tony said, squeezing Clint's shoulder gently.

Clint stared at Tony for a long moment before nodding once.

"Thanks," he said quietly but gratefully.

Tony returned the nod and patted Clint's shoulder before standing up and moving back over to lean against the wall. The room was very quiet and it took Tony a minute to notice that most of the people in the room were staring at him with considering expressions.

"What?" Tony asked Natasha who seemed to be studying him.

"Nothing," she said. "Just... I can see it now."

"See what?"

"The father in you," she said. "I never noticed it before," she admitted.

Tony glanced at Steve. "I haven't needed it for a long time," Tony said quietly.

Suddenly Clint stood up and started for the door.

"Where are you going?" Natasha asked.

Clint paused and turned back to the group.

"I want to talk to him. I need to talk to him," Clint said.

Natasha started to speak but stopped and instead gave him a nod of understanding before he continued out of the room.

)()()(

Not long after Odin and Frigga emerged from the throne room, Loki was quick to retreat to his chambers. He didn't want to give anyone a chance to corner him and try to talk. He didn't want to talk. He didn't want to think. He just wanted to be alone. If he had thought his head was messed up before, seeing his memories played out in full had made it so much worse.

He couldn't believe he was currently sitting in his chambers, completely free. He had expected to be punished, to be in chains in the dungeon by now. He knew he deserved the punishment. He deserved anything they could do to him, except being set free. He didn't think he deserved to be able to kill and maim and injure people then get off without any consequences. Well, almost no consequences.

He quietly cursed Odin. How dare he force his way into Loki's mind and display his thoughts, emotions, and memories for all to see. He had stripped away Loki's last shred of privacy and dignity. He was no better than Thanos, but at least Thanos owned up to who he was. Thanos didn't pretend to care for and love Loki while everyone else was watching, only to turn his back on him as soon as they were alone.

What really bothered Loki, though, was that Odin had actually seemed sincere in the throne room after Loki's memories ended, and Frigga had indicated that Odin had stood up for him against the councilman. Maybe his father really did care. Maybe Loki's so-called death had changed him.

Loki let out a frustrated growl. His mind and emotions were all over the place, flipping back and forth between anger and hope, emotion and logic.

It was as if when the tesseract took over his mind, it caused a split. One part of him, the part that had been trapped in the back of his mind, was the part of him that loved his family, that cared about innocent lives, that actually wished to possibly become friends with the Avengers, the part of him that felt the guilt and haunting effects of his actions. It was the part of him that possessed love, kindness, and compassion.

The other part of him, the part that had been in control on Earth, the part that had been created then left behind by the tesseract, was made up of the emotions the tesseract had twisted and warped to manipulate him in the first place. Then it had fed off of those warped thoughts and emotions when it had taken full control. That part of Loki was full of hate and malice and something much worse, an enjoyment of other people's pain and death. That part scared him. It wasn't him. It wasn't who he was, and yet, it was there.

Loki was terrified that it would never go away.

He wanted to stop hating those he loved. He wanted to stop trying to hurt them. Above all, though, he wanted to stop feeling that small sense of satisfaction and enjoyment when he emotionally hurt someone or remembered the countless injuries and deaths he had inflicted. He wanted to stop liking it, even if it was only a tiny part of him. He didn't want any part of his mind or soul to find satisfaction at others' pain.

Loki's thoughts were interrupted by a soft knock at the door. For a moment, he debated whether to let the person in or ignore them in the hopes that whoever it was would go away. As much as he wanted to be alone, though, his curiosity eventually won out and he bade the person to enter.

Loki wasn't sure whether to be happy, annoyed, or anxious as Frigga entered the room. Loki stood in silence just looking at her. She paused a few feet inside the room and looked at him for a long moment, a torn expression on her face. Finally, she couldn't stand it anymore and she ran forward, throwing her arms around him. Loki only hesitated a moment before returning the embrace.

"Oh, how I have missed you," she whispered.

"And I you," Loki admitted, at least part of him felt that way.

She finally pulled back enough to cup his face in her hands.

"My sweet boy. The pain you have been through," she said, looking into his eyes as tears flowed down her cheeks. "Would that I could have spared you from it. Would that I could take away the haunted look in your eyes."

"You can't," he said, gently pulling her hands from his face and taking a small step back. "No one can."

"But I can be here for you," she said. "I can make sure you know how much I love you, My Son."

Suddenly, Loki's anger reared it's ugly head once more as an old pain stabbed his heart.

"I am not your son," Loki said, the truth of it bitter on his tongue.

"I may not have carried you or given birth to you, but you are still my son and I am still your mother," she tried to assured him.

"You are not my mother!" Loki snapped, and immediately regretted the words as he saw the hurt flash across her face. "I'm sorry," he said as he turned around and rubbed a hand over his face, his feelings of self-loathing strong.

He was beginning to realize he was more angry at himself than at his family. The problem was, he couldn't figure out the reason he was so angry at himself and that frustrated him, which in turn caused him to take out his anger and frustrations on those who loved him, which caused him to be even more angry at himself and so on. It was a vicious cycle and it was driving him crazy, not to mention completely exhausting him. It probably didn't help that he couldn't really remember the last time he had eaten or slept.

"I just... I need time to figure some things out," Loki finally told her.

"I understand," she said, but there was still hurt in her voice.

Loki was about to say something to try to soften his words but turned around just in time to see the door close as Frigga left. He sighed and collapsed back onto the bed. Self-loathing seemed to be his most faithful friend these days.

A moment later, a knock sounded on his door and for a moment, Loki thought perhaps his mother had returned. Then he realized that was unlikely and he paused, unsure whether he really wanted to talk to someone else. But, ultimately, his curiosity won out again and he bade the person to enter, hoping this encounter would go better than the last.

Loki wasn't sure who he had been expecting, but Clint Barton was not at all the person he had foreseen walking through his door.

A/N I'm not sure I really captured the characters all that well in this chapter. So please let me know what you think, even if you agree with me! :)

Next chapter we'll get to see Clint's and Loki's conversation. Do you think it'll go okay? Or about as well as Loki's conversation with Frigga did? Will Clint forgive Loki or put an arrow through his eye? You'll have to tune in next Friday to find out! Plus we'll also get to see a little more between Loki and his family and some of the fallout of everything that's happened between them. It's not going to be all rainbows and unicorns. Because with Loki, nothing can ever be simple or easy. :)