Contradiction

DarylDixon'sLover: I feel like you're going to think Eliza's even more unfair in this chapter, so best of luck!

eyleenm4: Your review did make me feel a just a little bit guilty, but I love a good cliffhanger! And this chapter resolves it well, so it's all worth it in the end!

FanGirlForever19:Precisely! I think we all have a concept of "normal" though, and it's bound to change at different points in our lives.

LeeMinah92: You are very welcome! The next few updates are going to be just as great!

Demigod-GallagherGirl: This has got to be one of my favorite one word reviews, because it's just that feeling of "FINALLY".

SoraMalfoySlythern: Oh you just wait.

kuppcake: Thank you, as always!

Imwithyoutilltheendoftheline: Thank you! Good characters and a well written plot mean a lot to me, so I appreciate the fact that you appreciate it!

Sorrowful blue eyes gazed into mine. "I'm sorry."

My heart was racing, but I forced myself to turn around and act casual as I walked away. "Do they know you're here?" my voice asked neutrally.

I heard James catch the door before it shut in his face. "No…but I knew they wouldn't let me come if I asked."

I made my way into the kitchen, deliberately keeping my distance as I went through the motions of making a cup of tea. He was hesitating by the door, his hands clasped together awkwardly.

'Good,' I thought. 'He should be worried.'

I made my tea in silence, all the while feeling his presence growing nearer. When I finally turned around, my eyes bore into his with anger.

"You disappeared," I stated calmly. There was an edge of warning in my voice, one that I knew he could hear. "You disappeared without even saying goodbye. I think I had the right to go back to how things were before."

James swallowed hard, his eyes lost as they turned to stare at the ground. "There wasn't any time-"

"Wasn't any time to make a minute long phone call?" I cut in. "Wasn't time to tell Steve to let me know? Wasn't time-"

"No, there wasn't," he insisted firmly. "You hadn't made up your mind yet, and they didn't want our communications to get picked up again-"

Overcome by anger, I walked away, my legs carrying me to the front hall. He followed me at a distance, wary.

My eyes drifted to the gun on my nightstand as I stood there, my back to him. "I came in the day after you left," I ground out through clenched teeth. I turned to look at him, head held high. "All I wanted was to see you. To talk about my options. I asked for no one else— just you. Only to be told that you'd left without a word the morning before." I approached him slowly, my voice level as I spoke. "How do you think that made me feel?"

James sighed, the fists he'd made slowly uncurling. "I had to make sure they were gone…I had to make sure you were safe."

Part of me secretly knew why he'd felt like he had no choice, why he had to go. But the other part of me was still angry, still frustrated that I'd been left with no warning.

I crossed my arms, my eyes going to the floor. "So am I?" I whispered after a moment of silence. "Am I safe?"

I looked up in time to see James nod. "Took care of their last hideout two days ago…and then came straight back to find you. I thought you'd be at the base, not here."

My jaw clenched defensively. "Well, you being gone made the decision easy."

James took a step forward, but I took one back. His eyes stared into mine, pleading silently. "Eliza, I'm sorry. I know I should've told you, but I couldn't. And I know you're mad at me, and I understand that. But please…" he trailed off, his hand reaching out hesitantly to touch my face. I turned away, and he sighed. "Eliza, please come home. You'd be safer there…you'd be safer with me."

A humorless laugh left my lips. "Would I? Because I don't remember worrying about getting shot before I met you."

James' eyes looked broken. "Eliza-"

"I was fine!" I burst, the words echoing in the silence. "I was safe before I went there. I wasn't running for my life, I wasn't hiding, and I most certainly wasn't being taken away from my friends and family."

I knew my words were hurting him, but I couldn't stop them. They were the truth. I stopped to get a handle on my breathing, my eyes drifting over to the gun once more. I took in a shaky breath, my throat feeling tight. "A-And now…now all I hear are the bullets. The battles." I looked up at him, my eyes full of desperation. "I want to go back to how things were, James. I can't deal with all this. I'm not a soldier. I wasn't meant to be."

A moment of silence passed before he whispered, "You don't have to be."

I could feel a tear roll down my cheek, but I tried to keep my voice strong. "Then let me be here."

I watched as frustration slowly overcame his face. His shoulder twitched as he turned his back, then again when he turned to face me. "I didn't have to go, Eliza," he said, his tone a mixture of anger and vulnerability. "I wanted to see you. I wanted to be with you, but I knew I couldn't. Not until I knew that the danger was gone." His eyes stared into mine, and he started to move forward. "I left just to make sure you were safe-"

"Nobody asked you to," I shot back stubbornly. My back hit the door behind me.

James came forward, his body towering over me. "They didn't have to."

My breath caught as my brain finally processed how close he was. I could see him breathing, the way the fabric of his shirt moved with each heavy inhale and exhale. Then I noticed how his hair had grown a bit longer, and how the usual shadow of stubble on his face had darkened over the past two weeks. His intoxicating scent reached my nose, and I found all of my residual anger slowly fading away.

My eyes looked up into his, searching. "If I go-"

"I'll be there to protect you," he promised.

I nodded shakily. "…and if I stay?"

A broken look entered his eyes. "Then this is our goodbye."

I swallowed hard, feeling trapped. What did I want more— my life or him?

"Eliza," he whispered, drawing my eyes back to look at him. His blue eyes softened, and a metal hand came up to smooth my hair behind my ear. "Come with me. Please."

An uncontainable grin came onto my face, and I shut my eyes to block him out. "Don't do that."

"Do what?" he asked. I opened my eyes and saw the smile that I'd heard in his voice.

"Use that voice you do when you try to change my mind," I replied shyly.

James smiled and shook his head. "I learned it from you."

A smile bloomed on my face, and I gave in to the urge for me to run a hand through his hair. "I've missed you, James."

"I've missed you too, Eliza," he whispered.

And just like that, the wall between us broke down. I found myself in his arms, my hands clutching at his shirt as I breathed in his scent. A heavy sigh ran through my body before I relaxed against him.

"I'm sorry," my voice cracked after a minute had passed. "I was just so mad, and I didn't know where you'd gone, and-"

"Shh, it's okay," he whispered, his hand stroking my back gently. "I'm sorry, too. I should've found a way to tell you."

We stood there for a while, taking in each other's presence. Two weeks without each other had felt like two decades. When we parted, I found myself glancing down at his lips. The image of them had been torturing me for weeks. But then I noticed that they were moving.

"…you'll come back, won't you?" he was asking.

A thousand thoughts ran through my head all at once, but my decision was clear. He mattered more.

"Yes."