Warning: mentions of abuse and violence.
._._._.
"Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured."
- Mark Twain
._._._.
There was a rumor going around school about someone doing science assignments for money. Of course, there was no proof to this claim, Kai made sure of that.
"It was only a matter of time," Light says when the two of them are alone on the roof. It was lunchtime and Hisoka and Ushio had just left to track down more information on the rumor for their school newspaper.
Light jabs Kai in the shoulder with the end of his chopstick, dissaproving, "you weren't exactly being subtle."
"It was good money and an interesting pastime, " Kai replies with a defensive swat. "Aah, and~, it was a lovely distraction from setting things on fire," he smirks, adds with mock gravity, "For example your insanely neat hair - which by the way is absolutely criminal."
"There is nothing wrong with a little self-care."
Pointedly staring at Kai's messy locks.
He rolls his eyes, "please, for the love of Jesus and Buddha don't try to tame my mane again. Last time you put gel in it I looked like I was from the Yakuza." With a firm look, he declares, "my hair is a natural mess."
Light glares, "like your future."
Kai couldn't help but raise an eyebrow at that.
"Hmm, care to illuminate me on why you're so grumpy today?"
"You're above me in Science."
Ah.
"Don't tell me you're still sore about that."
Light flicks at piece of rice at his head. Kai picks it out and eats it.
"You're great at physics," Light explains reluctantly, "so great you've decided to do other people's assignments for money. If you chose to, you could get accepted into To-Oh University majoring in Physics." He stares at Kai with a little confusion. As though he were a puzzle with a piece that was missing. "But you're not."
"Spot-on."
"Why?"
Kai looks at him. He looks back.
"I don't want to major in something I'm not passionate about. What's the point of that? My life would be so boring, and you know I hate being bored."
"Teaching children taekwondo isn't meant for you. You have the potential for something far greater- we both are. "
The way he said it, like stating a simple fact, made him smile. It sounded like a wonderful fantasy to believe in. Being meant for something, like Fate or Destiny. King Arthur and Merlin.
Like they weren't just some insignificant speck in the makings of the universe - which was forever expanding and forever creating new galaxies. When compared to the stars in the sky, the planets which we orbit and Miley Way we inhabit - you begin to realise how…small humans are.
And how pathetic they are.
Fate? Destiny?
Kai doesn't believe in such semantics. Settling against the fence blocking the edge of the roof, he sighs. Deciding to humour Light.
"Then tell me Light, what is this 'far greater'?"
Light goes silent for a moment, and all Kai could hear was the chatter of student gossip below them. Probably trying to figure out who was doing homework for money and if they should risk paying the mysterious do-gooder.
Do-gooder, what a laugh.
Kai has a suspicion on who ratted him out to the principle, for now he won't do anything. Not because he doesn't want to - the itch under his skin thirsting to destroy roars in his hears - but it's simply because he can't. He's already got the homeroom teacher watching his every move (some people are just born with a higher sense of danger than others). And he's got the rules Light gave him to follow. To try and 'fit in'.
But…
He could probably corner the rat in an empty classroom, back alley, somewhere private so just the two of us can chat. Just chat. That's all. No violence, he swears.
Idiot.
Kai shouldn't risk it. Just this morning he didn't trust himself enough to be alone with his own mother. Being in the same breathing distance with a person who wronged him - Kai closes his eyes and the image of his rat - my victim and doesn't that have such a nice ring to it? - her blood gently flowing down her throat, coating his hands and washing his face. It was comforting.
It shouldn't be comforting.
Dammit.
Breathing deeply Kai listens to the world around him and nearly misses what Light has to say:
"Something…different."
._._._.
Like Newton's laws of motion, Light and Kai had laws of behavior.
Law A: Never harm an animal.
Law B: Never watch people [this includes: stalking and/or threatening people].
Law C: Manage triggers.
Law D: Smile.
._._._.
Being a taekwondo instructor isn't really how Kai imagined his teenage years to go - but it was definitely better than the alternatives. When he was a seven, Kai began to notice that his notion of 'fun' was different from others his age. While his next door neighbour played with hot-wheels and watched sailor moon, he was busy examining road kill and their intestines.
As he grew, Kai knew his future was bleak. That either he was going to get caught one day and shipped off to a mental facility, or become a serial killer like Ted Bundy. Life as a serial killer didn't sound so bad once he actually began to watch crime documentaries and note down ways he'd do it better.
But then he met another monster. An infuriatingly clean monster.
From then on his life took a distinct turn for either better or worse. It really depends on his mood. On the good days he can't imagine his life without Light, how secure he feels about his position in life. He's got a job - something to vent his frustrations out on - and doing okay with his education.
On the bad days though…
His bad days are intoxicating.
The days where his mind conjures gory, beautiful images of the people he goes to school with - underneath him, squirming, pleading and screaming as he runs his blade across their throat. He watches them bleed, chest heaving as they die, covering the floor in an almost glittery shiny red.
Days like that…it's hard to be around Light without letting him know just how twisted he really is. How broken and lost he is. How terrified and excited he is to break those little rules he's assigned himself to.
Sometimes, Kai wonders whether he's just ignoring the inevitable. One day he'll break and his true nature will present itself to the world. His horrifying smile will be planted on news stations and police boxes and everyone will know his name.
He'll be put down in the history books as the youngest serial killer in history.
How delightful.
Shoving himself out of his musings, Kai bows to his little students. Signalling the end of the taekwondo lesson. He spends the next ten minutes saying goodbyes, and praising parents of their children's progress. Always making sure to smile.
[Smiling lures people in, relaxes them and makes them feel at ease.]
He's a very convincing monster.
"I'll be going now Aoi-sensei," Kai says after changing out of his gear. "Remember to pick your wife up some flowers on the way home. I heard from Yuki-chan'ss Okaa-san that she's been a bit put out with you working such long hours here."
Aoi slaps him good-naturedly on the back.
"Always looking out for me, aren't ya Kaito-kun?"
Kai sheepishly rubs the back of his neck.
"Somebody has to look out for you Oji-san."
He guffaws with a belly laugh, "have a good night, Kaito-kun."
Kai makes sure to nod and slip away quickly before Aoi could get in another word. The man had a bad habit of making small talk like a lonely housewife. It was a good sign that he's had nailed the head on people management, but the bitter thing about playing a kind person was that people always had an annoying assumption of him being happy to listen to their rants about the unfairness of life.
There's a fine line between being nice and being a pushover.
And Kai was neither.
._._._.
Kai freezes at the foot of his driveway. A Chevy Impala was parked outside his garage.
He knew who the owner of the vehicle was.
Feeling his cellphone vibrate in his pocket. Kai pulls it out and flips it open, never taking his eyes off the car. It looked exactly like how his Tou-san left it.
Shiny and pompous.
He never gets to properly open his mouth before being cut off.
"Kaito-kun! Where are you? Are you safe?"
"Yagami-san?" He murmurs, authentically confused. "Uh, I'm fine? I'm walking up to my house right now, I just finished my taekwondo class." He slowly backs away from his house, feeling no inclination to see his Tou-san right now. "Why? Is something wrong?"
There's a pause, "your Tou-san failed to report to his patrol officer today. Nobody's been able to locate him since."
Kai glances at the Chevy-Impala, counting to five to make his response sounded genuine, "What do you mean?"
"Kaito-kun this is important, I need you to grab your Kaa-san and head to my house and wait there."
"I, uh, why? What's wrong, do you think he'll come here?"
Kai's almost past his letter box when the front door to his house opens.
Tou-san.
A sound breaks from his mouth. A laugh? A whimper?
"Kaito-kun?"
The pain of knuckles against his jaw.
The image of his mother looking away.
His mother doing nothing.
His mother. Doing. Nothing.
"Kaito-kun, answer me! Is something wrong? Is…is he there?"
Kai can't hear Yagami, he's too focused on his Tou-san. He didn't see him last night. Only heard him.
The man hasn't changed a bit.
Pressed suit, slicked greasy hair, smug smirk. Smug tone as he says something to Kai when he nears him. Something he can't distinguish against the roaring in his ears.
He should respond to Yagami. He should maybe go inside to help his mother, the blood on Tou-san's knuckles speak of brutality Kai knows he possesses. He should call an ambulance then, incase his mother doesn't wake up. He should also probably run away, that's what Yagami would advise. There's a lot of things he should do.
He doesn't do any of them.
All the hate and anger Kai has felt - still feels - towards the man standing in front of him right now was leaking out. It was messy and vicious and wild and blind. A strong tang of copper pollutes his mouth and Kai hadn't even realised he was biting on his lip until a trickle of blood slips down his chin.
The world is red and hot and pulsing like a forest burning down. His blood roars in his ears and a dark, malicious part inside of him is laughing and screeching. His skin itches as he pushes back the swirling mess of his growing insanity.
The man takes a step towards him and Kai backs away. Shivering from either the rage or fear - not fear, that's impossible. Kai doesn't fear anybody.
"My boy," he hears him say and Kazuya's eyes turn to ice, "look how you've grown. It's like looking into a mirror."
Something cringes inside of him.
"Tou-san," Kai greets with the biggest, artificial smile he could manage.
He can't hear Yagami anymore and Kai doesn't bother to check whether he's hung up or not. He can't take his eyes off the man in front of him.
"Hmm," Tou-san cocks his head, absently wiping bloody knuckles on his dark blazer. "How's that boy you used to play with?" There was acid in his tone and Kai feels his heart stop. "What's his name again? Light? Not still hanging with him, are you?"
"Would it matter if I did?" He asks, the itch becoming a rash.
"It would," he takes another step and this time Kai doesn't back away. He meets his Tou-san's glare with his own. "Considering his Tou-san was my arresting officer." The man places a hand on his shoulder and squeezes, leaning in so his breath brushes his ear, "I thought you were a good boy, Kaito. Do I need to remind you of your manners?"
Kai feels something hot and vile break inside of him, bursting through like a rushing dam. It wasn't the usual rage he feels, this one was heavy and pulsing and alive. It was red and bubbling. Laughing and cackling. The itch he felt was gone. That should have worried him.
It really should have.
Kai jerks back, letting the burning readiness of his impulses drive his fist into Tou-san's face. The man collapses to one knee but Kai doesn't stop. There was a frenzied tide inside of him, an urgent desire to let this man know he couldn't hurt him anymore.
He doesn't stop until he hears the police sirens.
._._._.