Woop! I have got Thursday off because of the Teacher Strike. Soooo, I get to write more of this.

Woopie! And I mean that without sarcasticosity.

Arggh! It is very annoying- my head is full of Spanish because I have been revising for tomorrow.

My birthday is in a week and hopefully I'll be getting 'Luuurve is a many trousered thing' so I'll be up to speed with all things Georgia Nicholson shaped!

Arrgh! Have you noticed it keeps duplicating my top line and writing it is non-bold. I've just had to delete it. :S

Chapter 6-Buried two Miles deep in Foundation

Wednesday June 22nd

8.00am

My neck is about two miles deep in foundation and concealer with a bit of thick skin-colour eye shadow to be safe. It looks like I have a giant lump in my neck.

2 minutes

The piggy tails make me look like an over grown first former. Libby may take me to her nursery.

1 minute

Quite frankly, I'll rather jump into a vat of custard than spend a day with Libby and her equally insane 'fwends'.

8.23am

Met Jas outside her house. She's started talking to me. So that means I win the glaciosity competition. She had her nose in a book. Called 'An Earthlings guide to Geography SUCCESS'. Very swotty. I could not believe it. Because it was unbelievable, that is why.

Then again this is Jas we are talking about.

"Jas, do you mind telling me why are you reading a book for a) People that are ten times smarter than you and b) actually give a toss about geography?"

But she ignored my wit.

"We have exams today,"

"So?"

"They are GCSE's,"

"So?"

"They are important,"

"So?"

"Gee, I'm too busy to listen to you,"

Humph.

2 minutes later

Hahahahahahahahahaha. And hehe. I slammed the book shut on Jas' nose.

It went all red.

Hahaha.

Assembly

Our revered Headmistress Slim is telling us all the delightful rules of examinations.

No talking.

No coughing.

No turning around.

You can't pick up anything you dropped.

No eating.

No smiling.

I'm surprised there isn't a rule against breathing.

Oh, I lie. You can't breathe loudly.

2 minutes later

The Ace Gang are panting like horses. Or do I mean dogs? Miss Swotty Knickers isn't doing it. She is looking all keen and ready for the exams.

In the Loos

Applying lip gloss before I go into the exams. I don't really know why. Jas is upside down under the blow dryer putting volumosity into her fringe.

"Jas, if you keep doing that your fringe might blow off,"

Then she looked at my hair which was in first-former chic piggy tails.

"Why are you trying to look like a first former?"

"I am not, I am just trying to hide a thing I was err…given yesterday,"

"What?"

"It is a secret I will take to the grave,"

2 minutes later

I've accidentally told Jas everything.

"I thought you were giving up the General Horn,"

"I was but he pushed me into a bush,"

"Gee, you are going to get a reputation for being a promiscuous slag,"

"HE pushed ME into the bush! Not the other way around,"

"You could have fought him off,"

"He's a boy; every one knows that boys are much stronger than girls. Do you ever see a girl sumo wrestler?"

"You are taller than him,"

It's like talking to a wall.

Lunch Time

I said, "What a fabby and also marvy waste of time that turned out to be,"

The Ace Gang did the special cross-eyed klingon salute.

Apart from old Swotty-Knickers.

Jas said, "I'm sure I got question 8 wrong, I didn't know whether it was destructive or constructive plate boundaries that caused volcanoes,"

I said, "Does it really matter?"

"Yes, because I want to become an environmentalist,"

"Isn't that one of those hippy-type people who ties them selves to trees in the nuddy-pants so they don't get chopped down?"

Rosie said, "Oo-er,"

Then Jas looked at me meaningfully, "Well done, Gee, that was a great BITE back,"

Luckily, Ellen was in dither-spas land.

"Do you think…err…Dave misses me? Because he was…err kind of sort of hugging me and…err…it was groovy and not, like, ungroovy…and I still really rate him…but he is still going out Rachel, isn't he? He said I was his…err…Pretty Kittykat…and he wouldn't say that if he didn't think I was groovy…would he?"

Dear Lord, help us all. I may have a nervy B if she doesn't make more sense.

1 minute later

My red herring was using Ellen as a red herring to get to me.

How ironic.

Not that it worked.

He is going to be dead next time I see him.

Very, Very dead.

1 minute later

I hope when Masimo tells me he wants me to be his official snogging partner he doesn't neck nuzzle me. As well as getting a face full of foundation he's going to notice it.

1 minute later

Well that's IF he tells me he wants me to be his official snogging partner.

Knowing my life he won't.

30 seconds later

Oh GoddyGodGod!

Maybe a week means five days. You know, with no weekend. That will mean he is coming TODAY!! Oh Blimey O'Reily's trousers. He will see me with no make up on (apart from on my neck)

1 minute later

Maybe he will think I am full of maturiosity because I am not being over keen and I am playing it cool and calm.

3.45pm

Thank our Lord Sandra.

Masimo wasn't at the gates. I think I may have had an F.T. to end all F.T's if he had been.

But I still feel a bit paranoid.

3.52pm

Soon-going-to-be-dead caught up with us as we were talking about the end of exams disco in two weeks time, I still haven't decided what to wear. It's boy free and hopefully I will have my one and only one by then so I don't need to wear anything full of flirtosity but jeans are to dull. Maybe I should wear sparkly flares like Sven does, and blind everyone. Hahahaha.

I feel a bit of stupid brain coming on. Why? I hate Dave.

Anyway, where was I before I so rudely interrupted myself?

Dave high fived us all again (by that I mean everyone but me because I am ignorez-vousing him). What is it with these high fives? They're trés pathetico and naff.

2 minutes later

While Jas was boring every one with her Twats guide to geography SUCCESS Dave looked really pointedly at my neck. He looked really disappointed when he saw I'd covered it up. What did expect me to do? Wear it proudly like a huge notice- I am a Red-Bottomed minx?

Then he came really close and I thought he was going to try to kiss me in front of everyone.

He said, "Oh dear, I better aim for the front next time,"

What? The front of my neck? Next time? There isn't going to BE a next time Mr. Dave the Laughylaugh.

Even if he does look gorgy in his Foxwood uniform.

Shut up!

Then he said, "Hey! Ma bitches. I have a date with the Doc for manic depression, S'later, and Georgia, wear it proudly!"

Then he ran off.

Cheeky Cat.

1 minute later

Manic Depression? If Dave is depressed he should have my life. He'd be suicidal.

Thursday, June 23rd

Breakfast

Oh GoddyGodGod.

I am soooooo nervous.

And not because of exams.

Because of a certain thing happening tomorrow. But I won't say what because it won't happen if I say it. It's like voodoo. But let me give you a clue. It begins with 'M' and ends in 'asimo'

1 minute later

I have had a lurker outbreak where I had shovelled on all the foundation. Even they hate the love bite and they're usually against me.

5.20pm

In a word, I am EXHAUSTED.

My hand aches like billion from writing virtually a novel for the English exam. I don't see why I bother. Why do I need to take an English GSCE when I can quite obviously speak English?

5 minutes later

What should I go as for the Vegetable Party? I know what I'm not going as and that's a stuffed olive.

2 minutes later

Phoned Jas.

"Bonsoir,"

"Look, Gee, I'm busy revising for the Blodge exam-"

"Why do you need a GSCE for tree hugging?"

"It's GCSE not GSCE,"

"Same difference,"

"It's not really, its-"

"Jas? What are you dressing up as?"

She suddenly started being all friendly because I was talking about her.

"Ooooh! Me and Tom are going to go as matching mushrooms. Did you know 80 of mushrooms are poisonous to humans but only 60-"

"Jas, quite frankly I give a flying pig's bottom about mushroom, and I say that with supreme luuurrrve for you,"

Jas went all silent and annoyed.

I said, "What should I go as?"

Jas said, "How about a BITTEN apple?"

So much for friendly.

5 minutes later

Got it. I shall go as a flower.

Their a type of vegetable aren't they?

1 minute later

I will make it on Saturday (unless I'm on a snogging extravaganza with the luuurrrve god and then I'll be obviously busy).

I need to moistures, exfoliate, do some yoga, apply a face mask and get some beauty sleep for tomorrow.

Phoar. What I do for love.

I am soooooo tired. It is 1 past midnight at the moment. So sorry for any mistakes in it!

Bit of a boring chapter, I know.

Kyramy: I'm really sorry! But I don't really want a beta reader; I'm just writing then uploading at the moment then writing more. But thanks for the offer! :)

Everyone else: Thank you soooo much for your reviews!

Ps. Does anyone actually know what 'vair' means because the translator said it was French for squirrel fur? Oo