Disclaimer: I do not own 'Death Note'

I'm baaaaack! Just in time for Christmas :D

If you don't already know, I re-wrote the previous chapter. So...check it out! hehe.

Warnings: References to abuse and violence.

._._._.

"She promised to be good. She wasn't."
― Justine Larbalestier

._._._.

Kai had lied about what happened with every part of himself.

On and on he went, spilling casual lies as though they were God's honest truth. Words slipping off his lips like warm honey. Sweet enough and tantalising enough to convince them.

Judging by the sympathetic, pitying looks he received from the Detectives handling the case, they believe him. Kai has to look down to keep his twinkling eyes from showing.

They think it was all in self-defence. That he was the victim.

It was hilarious.

It's almost enough to make Kai laugh when he's alone in the bathroom, having been given a change of clothes to wear. He was swollen with a feeling of content - nerve veins tingling and world bright.

It was an entirely new sensation. To let go. To let his cold blood warm, and let the raging fire inside take over. Allowing himself to submerge in the raw heat of anger - giving in to impulses he's been shoving down year after year.

It was intoxicating.

After a man from forensics came in to secure his bloodstained shirt - making sure nothing 'contaminated' the evidence while he was changing - Kai has changed into baggy sweatpants and a too-large police t-shirt printed with the English wording 'NPA'.

The rest of the proceedings are finalised and Kai is gently led to a police vehicle. He's not surprised to find Yagami-san standing by it, posture stiff and eyes locked anywhere but him.

Was he ashamed of him? Disgusted that he took a life? Kai knew Yagami-san's view on justice and his firm stance against the death penalty. To Kai's knowledge, Yagami-san has never once drawn his fire arm while on duty. He is adamantly against using death as a means for justice.

What does he think of him?

Kai isn't bothered about having the man's approval or not. But Kai would rather have it when considering the strain it would put on his and Light's 'friendship'. Having to sneak around all the time just to spend afternoons with Light would be ridiculously troublesome.

"Kaito," Yagami nods his head in acknowledgement when they're a foot apart. The man gives his escort a quick look and suddenly they're both alone under an old street lamp. "I'm sorry."

Kai's eyebrows climb when Yagami looks at him, their eyes connecting - and what Kai see's is a man who's bone tired. World weary.

"Kaito, I am so sorry."

Good Lord, "Wha - why?"

He laughs, thin and hollow. "Why?" Expression disbelieving and racked with guilt. "Why? Kaito, if I hadn't done my job correctly your Tou-san wouldn't have hunted you and your Kaa-san down. You wouldn't have had to try and protect her and ended up defending yourself." His eyes close and he takes a ragged breath. Sounding like he was pushing back tears. "Ending with your innocent hands and body soaked in the blood of your parent."

Kai 'ahh's in understanding. Should he let the man continue this pathetic guilt trip he was intent on riding out, or kill it right now and save save Light's family the grief of dealing with him like this?

He doesn't want to deal with Light's whiny ass for the next week.

He decides to snuff it out.

"It's not your fault, Yagami-san," Kai says earnestly, and he's surprised when he doesn't have to fake it. Because really, killing his Tou-san was a conscious decision, one of which he won't let Yagami take credit for. This was his first real kill, let him have this. "You did everything you could - "

"Kaito," Yagami sighs deeply, cupping his shoulders. "Kaito, don't - don't try to make me feel better. I don't deserve it."

"I'm not, you're being stupid. I know you Yagami-san, and I know that you would have tried everything in your power to save Kaa-san and me. Please - please don't blame yourself for what happened."

Yagami stares at him for a few moments, eyes glistening and smile sad. "You're a good kid, Kaito." With those words, he rounds the car and lets himself into the driver's seat.

Kai stands there, laughter bubbling at the back of his throat and face struggling to keep calm.

Him, a good kid?

He really tries not to laugh.

._._._.

The Yagami's had custody over him for the time being, meaning for the next couple of weeks until social service's pull their heads out of their asses and let Yagami have total custody, Kai would be sharing a household with a regular, white picket-fence family.

Kai, kin-murdering Kai, living with a happy moral family.

What a concept.

"I'm sorry about your Kaa-san, Kai-kun," Sayu mumbles into his chest after she comes flying at him from down the stairs. "She'll make it through."

Ah yes, one of the many obvious reasons why the Yagami residence was his current living space was because his Kaa-san was in a coma. Nobody knows when she'll wake up, and quite honestly Kai is rather firm on the hope that she doesn't.

"Of course she will, Sayu-chan." Kai says with a small smile, patting her on the head.

With a quick hug from Sachiko and couple of nicely said words, Kai's escorted up the stairs to Light's room by the quiet young man himself.

Odd, Kai would have thought his 'friend' would have at least played the part of a comforting human being. Maybe he was tired and grumpy from the unexpected intrusion on his school studies. That was probably it, going by the hard lines steadily growing around Light's eyes and forehead.

"We're sharing the bed," Light announces upon entering the room, swiftly seating himself on the desk chair and eyeing his textbook. "The futon would kill your back and take up room. My bed is big enough to fit the both of us but if you kick me or steal the covers I'll consider changing my mind."

"Noted," Kai drawls and closes the door behind him.

There was no need to unpack, his home was currently under investigation and nobody allowed him to take anything from his room. (Despite it not being the area of the murder or abuse.) Meaning all he had on him at the moment were the borrowed clothes off his back. He inelegantly flops down onto Light's bed and stares at the ceiling.

All was silent apart from Light's soft scratch of a pencil making notes and odd flick of a page from the textbook. If he strained his ears just so, he could make out the sound of Sachiko and Soichiro speaking softly downstairs and Sayu's music in the next room.

He listened, breathing heavily. Air going in and out of his nose. In and out in and out -

His heart beats loudly in his ears.

He killed someone.

I killed someone.

Yay me.

A little airy laugh fills the room and he hears Light stop writing. He laughs a little more, remembering the legitimate fear his Tou-san showed in his eyes before he bashed them into the back of his skull.

The man pleaded for him to stop, to spare him.

Kai never realised how good it would feel to hear him say those words.

'Please, God, don't kill me.'

"How did it feel?" Light asks after a few seconds, turning around in his chair. Gaze hard. "How did it feel to break one of our laws?"

He stops laughing and remembers.

Law 3) never harm an animal.

To them, humans were no different from a house pet. And he just went above and beyond harming.

"Oh," a little chuckle escapes him. "Oops."

"Oops?" Light's tone is deathly calm and he stalks towards him, slipping off his chair like a cat and towering over him. "Oops? You broke a law, Kai. You fucked up."

"I'm a creature of action, Light," Kai leans up on his elbows, "I was going to kill someone eventually. Tou-san being my victim was just good fortune, I suppose. Besides, the thing we should be focusing on now is how I got away with murder." He cocks his head with a smirk. "Are you proud of your boy?"

Light scoffs, lips curled back in a snarl. "It was pure luck you didn't get arrested. From what I heard you bashed his brains in, that's a little more than 'self-defence' Kai. You're a Taekwondo instructor, there were many ways you could have gone about restraining him," Light bends over, planting his hands on either side of him and leans in. Breath rushing out as he says, "You should be in jail right now."

"I know."

Eyes dark. "I should kill you myself for doing something so insanely stupid."

"That's a bit of irony for you."

Light huffs out a laugh and after a few seconds he licks his lips, "How did it feel?" Repeats the question, eyes focused. Kai's smirk stretches. "How did it feel, ripping a life and memory from existence?"

Like massaging a knot in the back of his neck.

"Relieving. Thrilling, almost." he recalls absently, remembering the feeling of warm blood. "Although, I think next time I'll use a knife. It's more - "

"Intimate," Light breathes and suddenly Kai is wildly aware that there's no space between them. Their breaths hit each other, gaze heated and intense. "I feel I have to remind you though," he dips in more and Kai collapses back to avoid being touched. "There will never be a 'next time'."

Kai feels the dark rage bubble under his skin. "You don't own me."

Light eyes him dryly, pulling away and standing up. Vertebrae by vertebrae his spine curls back into alignment. "You're right, I don't. But I know you're smart enough to understand where I'm coming from."

Of course he does. He always does.

"We don't kill, because once we do - "

"We become reckless."

"We desire more."

And Kai can feel it. Deep in his chest. That driving force to kill again. It's small, barely detectable. But he knows it will only grow as time passed. He was in the cooling off faze, his hunger has been sedated.

For now.

He's killed and it's only a matter of time before he does it again.

From the look Light was giving him, he knew it too.

"We need to fix this," he says. "We need to contain it somehow." Speaking as though the darkness inside of him were a seperate entity. It…unnerved Kai to even think about it that way. A split personality? No thank you. "If that's even possible."

Which they both know wasn't.

"Crap."

Light hums in agreement.

._._._.

I know I don't deserve it but please review! (: