I threw myself into my new teaching post at Hogwarts. I knew that I wasn't anything like Professor Slughorn, but that didn't matter to me. I had a persona to keep up, and Potions was a demanding and potentially dangerous subject, so my teaching style manifested as my favoring Slytherin over the other three houses and being very strict and harsh as a way to prevent accidents. I rarely used the textbooks except for the theory, which was mostly assigned as essays for homework, and focused on the actual brewing in class, putting up the instructions on the board (which contained any adjustments that I had discovered on my own or learned during my apprenticeship). I practically became the equivalent of a monk, having no life outside of teaching, brewing potions, and being a spy.

In December, I turned down the offer to spend Christmas with the Petrovs and Romanovs, but did take the time to spend an afternoon during Hanukkah with my godson Ivan, who was now two years old, and give him a few presents, consisting of a stuffed snake, a couple of picture books, and a set of pajamas with a broomstick design. During the holidays, I buried myself in brewing, only leaving my office and quarters for the Christmas feast in the Great Hall, a Death Eater meeting, and two meetings with Dumbledore.

In the second week of June was Ivan's third birthday. Since it was exam time at Hogwarts and I was busy administering exams, I couldn't attend his celebration, other than to visit for an hour in the evening. That hour was spent giving him my birthday present to him (a toy broomstick and some children books by Muggle writer Beatrix Potter), watching him try out the toy broom, and finishing off by reading him one of the books (The Tale of Squirrel Nutkin) as a bedtime story.

When the summer holidays arrived, I chose to remain at Hogwarts, though I took the time to visit Petrov's Potions every two weeks to drop off potions I had brewed for their stocks and spend a couple of hours with Ivan. I refused to take any payment for my work, only accepting the required amount of money from Ana and Mrs. Petrov to cover the cost of the ingredients. There were a few Death Eater meetings, but I avoided being sent out on any missions as part of my supposed 'cover' of spying on Dumbledore and having to brew potions. The new school year started in September, and I threw myself back in teaching.

Unfortunately, things all went to hell on Halloween night, though I knew nothing of it until the next day, when Professor Dumbledore told me what happened. While just about everyone else in the wizarding world (other than those loyal followers of the Dark Lord) was out celebrating the Dark Lord's defeat, I was holed up in the guest room above the apothecary, shedding all my masks and breaking down in Mrs. Petrov's arms. She said nothing, just holding me in her arms and letting me cry on her shoulder, every so often patting me on the back or stroking my hair.

When I finally ran out of tears, she spoke. "I have some idea of how you're feeling, Severus, but you can't give up because Lily's dead, all right? She was first and foremost a mother, and while I have no idea what happened when Voldemort showed up at the Potter home, I can't imagine that she'd just step tamely aside and let him kill her son. I would certainly lay down my life to save my children, and my grandchildren too, for that matter."

I said nothing, but I knew that Mrs. Petrov was right. I couldn't imagine Lily, in any universe, not being willing to sacrifice herself to save her child. That didn't mean I wasn't mourning her death and wishing that things had turned out differently, however.

"It's all right to mourn," Mrs. Petrov continued sympathetically. "But please, don't feel as if you have nothing left to live for. I care for you, and so does the rest of my family and the Romanovs. Losing you would be sad for us. And remember, you have a godson. You don't want Ivan having to grow up without his 'Uncle Sev', do you?"

"No," I admitted. Somehow, Ivan had wormed his way into my heart. Even though he was only three, he was quite smart for his age. He knew the alphabet, could count to one hundred, and was already showing an interest in potions. He loved it when I read to him, and actually was starting to read along with me, though he was only at the stage where he could sound out a few easy words (due to being able to read the individual letters). Every time I visited, he presented me with a picture that he had drawn, specifically for me. I had expected little more than scribbles when given the first picture, but what he had drawn had actually been recognizable as him flying on his toy broom (though it was still obvious that it had been drawn by a little kid). Subsequent pictures had proven to be the same (other than the one where I had to ask him to make sure that he was drawing a dragon and not a snake with wings).

"And you said that, before you came here, that Professor Dumbledore told you that Harry Potter survived and would need protecting."

I nodded. "Dumbledore said that he had Lily's eyes," I croaked. "Yes, for Lily's sake, I'll help protect her son, but I made Dumbledore promise to not tell."

Mrs. Petrov sighed. "You are a good person, Severus. You shouldn't have to hide it, but I understand why." She looked down at my palm, then continued, "If love ever comes into your life again, don't push it away, all right? I know you mourn Lily and feel that you can never again love someone, outside of familial-type love, but I foresee that you can have a second love. If that happens, I want you to promise me to not push that person away and allow the love to happen."

"Fine," I said, though I didn't believe it would ever happen, even if Mrs. Petrov did have the Sight. "I promise to allow love in my life if I can ever have a second love."

Maria knocked on the door, and when I gave permission to enter, she came in and said, "Severus, I just had a vision. Anyway, based on what I saw, I want to assure you that Lily's son will be fine and taken care of, so you don't need to worry about protecting him until he starts Hogwarts. I don't have any visions regarding you at the moment, but I want you to also know that Mother is right, you could have another love someday and to please allow it to happen."

I stifled the urge to snap at her to stay out of my life, knowing that she merely meant to be helpful. "Thank you, Maria. I'll keep what you said in mind."

Maria nodded and then left the room. Mrs. Petrov stayed with me, though at this point, I just mourned Lily's death in silence. Finally, after an hour, I thanked Mrs. Petrov for helping me, and I returned to Hogwarts.