Sorry for not writing for ages. Got some new pet rats you see and have been obsessing over them. Rattie and Ronnie. Very cute indeedio.
Chapter 8- Then that's When the Door flew Open
Saturday June 25th
In my Bed of Pain
10.30am
My eyes are all swollen like little mice eyes from crying. One minute I'm snogging a luuurrve god underneath twinkly twits and the next I'm back in the Oven of Luurrve, after popping into the Bakery of Pain and waving 'hello!' in the Cake Shop of Agony. Still that is life. Well, my life.
5 minutes later
I hate him
1 minute later
No, I love him.
11.15am
I wonder if I killed myself anyone will notice? No one cares about me. Swiss Family Mad has gone to visit the elderly loons and my so called friends haven't called me. Even Angus is out terrorising the Prat Poodles.
5 minutes later
Mutti and Vati wouldn't notice I'm gone until they suddenly think, "Where is my daughter who I can go and annoy with a clown car/ oversized nunga nungas?"
Then they will see my lifeless body and carry on with snogging on the sofa.
1 minute later
This is very depressing.
6 minutes later
Tried to stab myself but I haven't got the couraginosity.
2 minutes later
I don't want to die in pain.
1.00pm
What about if Masimo couldn't make yesterday for band practice and he really wants to see his gorgeous sex kitty but he can't?
What if he's coming over today?
15 minutes later
Erlack! A herd of lurkers are lurking on my chin.
2 minutes later
I'm wearing a polo neck so Masimo can't see the love bite and it'll stop any neck nuzzling/ foundation face watsits.
3 minutes later
What should I wear legs-wise? Skirt. More full of flirtosity,
1 minute later
No trousers, it makes it look I have more casualosity.
1 minute later
Skirt
1 minute later
Trousers
1 minute later
I'll flip a coin. Heads are trousers. Tails are skirts.
Skirt it is.
But he might think I was waiting for him.
Trousers.
No! Skirt! That is it!
1 minute later
No trousers, it makes it look I have more casualosity.
Arrgh! The skirt is on and that is it!
2.00pm
He hasn't came
5 minutes later
Still waiting.
2.10pm
Phoned Jas.
She said "What?!"
"Don't say what like that,"
"Like What,"
"Stop it, I have something heartbreaking and depressing and vair vair sad to tell you,"
"Red Crested Newts have become extinct?"
"No, I said something sad,"
"Oh God, has Masimo dumped you?"
"He…I…He…"
Blimey O'reily's trousers I was blubbing. Again.
"Don't go anywhere, I am coming round,"
3.00pm
Munching Pop Tarts and Midget Gems with Jas.
Jas said with a mouthful of snacksies "So he didn't even bother to show up?"
"No,"
"I couldn't deal with somebody being so unreliable, Tom is always there for me, like this once when we were looking for fireflies-"
Luckily I managed to stop her from rambling by giving her a huge hug. She shot away like she was being attack by Miss Stamp.
"Jas, you are moi bestest pally and I love you,"
"Please don't start this lezzy business again,"
"No, Jas, I love you, you are a tip top pally and bestest friendy,"
Jas said "Well, err…thanks, err…if you want you can sleep over mine Sunday Night after the party,"
"I'm not going,"
"Why?"
"Because I am heartbroken and in the merde of lurrrve,"
Then Jas said, after thoughtfully chewing on her Midget Gem, "I think you should go, if Masimo called when you were out it will show that you have better things to do than wait for him,"
"And I will be glacier girl and vair vair sophis,"
"Exactamondo,"
I hugged Jas again, "you are una petite genius!"
3.30pm
Making my costume (a daisy). I am making it out of an old white table cloth on chicken wire to make the petals and I will wear my gorgey khaki green skirt and green top that sort of hangs on my shoulders. Vair Vair gorgey and marvy with a definite hint of sex-kittinosity.
1 minute later
I could dye my face yellow with crazy dye like the middle of a daisy. On second thoughts-err no.
30 seconds later
I'll borrow Mum's green wedge heeled green boots. She won't mind. Unless she finds out and she will go balisticomus.
3 minutes later
Libby has a head band with lots of little daisies in it. A quick check for lurking pieces of food or cat poo. It seems safe.
1 minute later
It is vair vair relaxing making something, I keep forgetting about my Luuurrve God.
7.30pm
Sitting in the living room, making the most of not having a porn show from the elderly snoggers. They are so disgusting. And childish.
Why can't they wear welligogs and do DIY like any normal parent? How am I supposed to know how to be normal? No wonder Masimo hasn't come round.
No! I won't think of him.
Uh-oh, Angus is eyeing up Elephant. I better stop 'the call of the wild'
10 minutes later
Wow! Super Hamster! And hahahaha.
Angus noticed Elephant lurking in his cage. Like a sort of snack in a cage. So he stuck his claw in lazily . Any sane hamster would have run but not Elephant! He BIT his paw. How groovy and cool is that? Very Groovy and very cool.
11.00pm
In my Bed of Pain
Uh-oh Swiss Family Mad has arrived. As quiet as mice, caring that their gorgy teenage daughter is in boboland.
No, back in Nicholson land Mum and Dad are falling up the stares, saying Sssssh loud enough to wake the dead. Or at least Mr Next Door. I can hear him snoring from here.
Then that's when the door flew open.
"Gingey, its MEEEE!"
I pretended to be asleep.
"Munch Munch, Yum Yum, Naaaice,"
I felt something very cold and wet and hard pinch my cheek.
It was a pair of false teeth.
From some elderly loon's mouth.
"Erlack a Pongoes!" I shot up like a shooting thing at a shooting party
"It's Naaaice,"
"No it isn't,"
"Move over bad boy! Mr. Chatter teeth want to get cosy,"
I am back finally. At the moment I have Rattie looking at me because he wants so more cheese, he is going to become very obese. Anywaaaaaay….sorry but this was another one of those boring chapters but it still needed doing.
Luv yas. xxx