Whooo! I did it! I finally finished this chapter. Took forever and I'm kind of procrastinating with my math homework but I did it. Hopefully you all with enjoy this. Please make sure to answer end of chap questions! I love to hear back from my readers.

Love you all :D

. _._._.

Volume 1: Sun Setting

. _._._.

Chapter 1

"And pity-people who inspire it in you are actually very powerful people. To get someone else to take care of you, to feel sorry for you-that takes a lot of strength, smarts, manipulation. Very powerful people."

- Deb Caletti

. _._._.

Kai is all-too familiar with hospitals.

Their eternally cold hallways, dehumanizing treatment of patients, steely-eyed doctors and nauseatingly bubbly nurses who treat people like illiterate morons that can't speak for themselves.

Kai is well acquainted with hospitals.

This shouldn't come as a surprise. Considering who his father was (abusive, drug addict, rapist, headcavedinlikeacrushedcanandsuchbeautifulwarmblood), a reptile with no care for his family's personal safety. From the ages of five to fourteen, Kai got into a number of 'accidents' involving 'falling down the stairs', 'bumping into things', and numerous excuses of his 'clumsiness'. All resulting in fractures and broken bones. Not that he cared. But point being.

Yes, Kai is accustomed to hospitals.

They grew on him.

He missed them.

After all…

. _._._.

Death lingered there.

. _._._.

When Kai and Light return home, Yagami's police car is parked outside.

[Clue number one that something wasn't right]

"Otou-san," Light greets the man with a practiced smile when they stroll into the kitchen. "You're home early today," his eyes glance over to his Kaa-san curiously, observing the way she and her husband share cautious looks when Kai comes trailing behind.

[Clue number two]

"I take it you're not here to stay for dinner."

"No, Light," Souichirou sighs, nursing a cold cup of coffee on the table. How long had he been sitting there?

"Aah," Light frowns in faux disapproval, "Sayu won't be happy."

Souichirou's expression darkens for a second before continuing. "I'm here to pick up Kaito."

"But I have homework."

"I thought I told the school to not give you any." The man's tone cool. Even. Critical.

Possessive.

So. Much. Sentiment.

(What would the man's expression be when I slice into his skin? The panicked realization of housing a monster that ate at his table. Touched his child. Slept under his roof.

- Face scrunched up, mouth open. Eyes too big and words too jumbled. Coming apart under his hands like clay. Voice stuck in a tangled, garbled words of whywhywhywhywhyItrustedyouKaiohthe taste of such immense betrayal. What would it taste like?)

"Maa," Kai flaps a hand. "You did."

The man sighs, "Kaito. Don't push yourself, you're still recovering."

"I'm fine," Kai insists, faking a pitiful expression. "I just want everything to go back to normal."

Souichirou winces, "I'm sure you do, but – "

"We're concerned, Kaito," Sachiko says, placing a hand on her husband's shoulder and squeezing. "You went through something traumatic, you should be resting and not ignoring the…emotional strain it has given you."

What?

Hold up.

Was there something he missed? Was he not acting the part of a victim accordingly to their eyes? Impossible. He's watched and analysed victims of trauma every chance he got. He has been fantasizing about this for years.

Was his performance not up to par.

The thought made something vicious in him churn.

"Kai's fine, Okaa-san." Light drapes an arm across Kai's shoulders and Kai unclenches his fists (when did I do that?) "I'm taking care of him. There's no need to be overprotective."

Eh?

Aah.

…Oh.

Kai shifts uncomfortably. This was…awkward. Embarrassing.

So this is what overprotection felt like on the receiving end. Needless worrying and concern? How…tedious.

He's never had anyone worry about his feelings before. His family always knew there was something missing in him, that he was empty. An important part of being human squared away somewhere. So they didn't bother.

That and they just generally didn't give a fuck.

"If you're sure…" Oh.

And there it was, that uncertain, flickering tone of voice.

A production of concern being aimed at him.

It was a little much, really.

Sachiko squeezes Souichirou's shoulder again, and the man coughs. Glancing up at her for a moment before seemingly making a decision.

"Honey, I trust Light's judgement."

A truly brilliant display of a decade's work of meticulous manipulation. He could almost see the strings attached to the man.

"As smart as our son may be, he doesn't know how to handle - "

"I think he does."

It was glorious.

"Are you two going to start fighting?" Light asks gingerly. "Because if you are then we'll just go upstairs – "

"No, Light," Yagami stops them. Rubbing in-between his eyes and giving his clearly upset wife a look. "We're not going to fight." She harrumphs, turning away. "I came here to get Kaito, not argue."

Light inches forwards. "Take Kai where?"

Souichirou pauses, hesitating. He rocks back in his chair, face smoothing out into an easily recognisable expression.

Sympathy.

[Clue number three]

"I thought you would like to see your Kaa-san."

Kai takes a breath. Fighting back the hysterical laughter he feels prickling underneath his skin like insects.

Light's grip tightens. And Kai exhales.

. _._._.

Ultimately, he doesn't have a say in the matter. How could he deny seeing his Kaa-san he so desperately loves, and still appear humane?

But in the same sense, it is extremely ironic that to appear humane, he's visiting the woman he is indirectly responsible for hurting. Almost killing (why couldn't that man have hit harder? Did he get a muscle twinge? Had he gotten lazy in prison?)

Normally Kai doesn't bother taking responsibility for things. He finds it too troublesome. A waste of time. Takes the fun out of things.

For this though, he might make an exception.

Taking responsibility for indirectly putting his Kaa-san into a coma sends perverse pleasure rushing through his bones. His insides tingle and hands shake.

Maybe seeing her won't be so bad after all.

. _._._.

Since when has anything ever been that easy?

. _._._.

Honestly, she didn't look half as bad as he thought she would. The purple welts and glaring white casts suited her nicely.

(Made it easier for her to not run away )

Kai quickly backtracks and scowls. He wasn't here to kill her (but maybe, just apply a little pressure to the oxygen valve – stop it!). He was here to satisfy whatever virtuous feelings Yagami had rudely grown.

Peeking over his shoulder to the doorway, he notices the man had left. Probably to 'give him some space'. Maybe a coffee run. That man does like his coffee.

Looking back at his motionless Kaa-san, withering away under the bed sheets, he rocks back on his heels. Humming.

The satisfaction was still there, bubbling away under his skin like lava, but that animalistic darkness was craving more. It always craves more.

[It. Never. Stops.]

Kill her, it taunts.

And there was so much rightness in those two little words that Kai almost sighs. A feeling of home greeting him in the dark. (it's eerie hand reaching out and caressing his cheek)

You know how to do it.

And he does. Oh he does. Kai's eyes burn his Kaa-san's beaten face. Dozens and dozens of ways he could end her - violently – seizing - gagging - shouting in his mind.

They were all very convincing.

He stands still, looming over her and allows a calm purpose to take over. He had to do this. He needed to do this.

Image after image of past fantasies bleed into reality at once. Overlapping her face and filling him with an almost gleeful gratification. He's holding her down, hands wrapped around her throat and watching, observing, gauging her expression of horror. Grinning as the capillaries burst like burning stars in her eyes and face turning an exciting shade of red. Now he's digging his knife into her heart, feeling the metal slice through layers and layers of tissue and muscle and veins. His body shivers. He imagines the feel of slicing her vertebrae. How right that would feel. How right that would feel

God.

How many times has he wanted to do this? How many times has he imagined this?

If only he had a knife, then that would really be perfect. But he will make do with what he's got.

He is nothing if not versatile.

"Don't panic," Kai whispers to her.

He doesn't know when it happens, but he somehow ends up holding his Kaa-sans breathing tube in his hand and clenching.

He waits. Standing there. Watching. Mental clock ticking down, down, down -

"Are you her son?"

And all too suddenly – why why why whyletmedothisletmekillher - everything disappears.

Gone.

As though his megalomaniacal rage were a balloon and someone had popped it. Kai feels a terrifying emptiness settle inside his chest and it's cold.

He wanted –

He just –

Kai drops the oxygen valve. Unmoving.

"Are you Kaito-kun?" The young, womanly voice behind him asks again. Tone filled with an innocent curiosity that Kai wants to break and tear into but he can't because – because she –

She stopped him from making a horrible mistake.

She stopped something within him and it's gone and he's cold and -

Kai looks up. Letting out an airy laugh.

What just happened?

"Keiji Yagami* told me you would be visiting her today, I thought it would be appropriate to introduce myself to you since I will be the one taking care of your Kaa-san until she recovers." He feels her approach and makes no move to turn around. "My name is Nishina Eri, please feel free to use informal speech with me. I have a feeling we will get along well." She giggles.

So. Sweetly.

Kai's hands curl into fists.

"Maa," he breathes, unwilling to look at her. Out of what? Shame? Ridiculous. Anger? Maybe. Frustration? Probably. Disgust? No question about it.

At her and himself. At her for obvious reasons. And at himself for – for being such an idiot at almost getting caught by this type of person. So easily too. So fucking clumsily God he was such an impulsive idiot. He could feel his brain leap off its tracks and topple to the floor in genuine befuddlement.

How did this happen?

Was his control really slipping that much?

"Possibly," Kai says. Voice coming out soft from the struggle of mentally putting himself back together like humpty dumpty.

How pathetic.

"I know so," she says. "I've heard great things about you from Keiji Yagami."

"Great things," he echoes, willing himself to shut up. "Funny."

"Hmm?"

"Nothing."

. _._._.

He wanted to hit someone. He wanted to hit Yagami and the car door and ram this stupid vehicle off the road or drive it into some random pedestrian.

But he doesn't.

Instead Kai stews silently in the passenger seat all the way home. Taking no notice at how Yagami glances at him in periodically.

When they get home he wastes no time in marching upstairs. The moment he enters the bedroom he brings a cigarette out and lights it.

"Hey," Light snaps at the pungent scent of cancer. Jabbing a finger to the patio door from his hunched position at his desk. "Out there or I'll choke you."

Kai glowers around his cigarette and makes a show of exhaling a decent amount of smoke before flinging the door open and stepping out into the cool evening air. His socks crunch on the snow collected from the day. Soaking through and stinging his feet for a moment before turning a blissful numb. The pain distracted him.

"Aah let me see," Light rolls his chair into the doorway. Nimble hand twirling his pen in the air. "Problem with Kai number twenty four: You nearly killed your Kaa-san."

Kai whirls around. "How the fuck?"

The pen drops. "What the fuck."

"How did you know?!"

"I was joking Kai," Light stares at him. Looking as though he couldn't quite believe someone would attempt manslaughter so many times in a single week. "What would possess you to do something so, so –"

"Idiotic?"

"That is too small a word to describe what level of idiocy this is."

"Aah, I digress." Kai tries a smile and blinks at the glower he receives.

"I am marginally, marginally impressed at how you aren't in jail right now," Light continues on, expression suddenly of resigned apathy. "So. What exactly happened? Tell me or -"

"You'll choke me?"

The smile he gets promises pain beyond that.

Kai coughs and leans back against the patio banister. "I almost got caught."

"You what."

"I cut off Kaa-san's oxygen valve – "

"Oh?"

Kai archen an eyebrow at the stupefied tone. "What?"

"That's a little…" Light cocks his head. "Juvenile. Unimaginative. Dull. I expected more."

"Aah?" He breathes out a laugh, waving his cigarette in the air theatrically. "Were you expecting me to maim her with a plastic fork? String her up by the bed linen? Electrocute her with the heart monitor and turn her into cooked meat? Or better yet, gauge out her eyes and make her choke on them?"

Light makes a 'so-so' gesture with his hand.

"You're fucking kidding. Where would I have gotten the time to do all that without getting caught?"

"With your stupid luck I wouldn't put it past you," Light grudgingly admits.

Kai clucks his tongue, inhaling his cigarette and breathing out through his nose. "Anyway, there I was, clutching her oxygen valve when this nauseatingly happy nurse walks in and catches me."

"Did you kill her and hide the body?" Light abruptly asks and Kai flounders stupidly at the bewildering question. "I don't see any blood on you, so strangulation?" And Light is in front of him. Eyes ranking over his body like he was a live specimen. "You do love intimate kills. But she must have fought back, victims always fight back. It's written into our DNA to live at whatever the cost – we're selfish like that. Although, you are very proficient when it comes to fighting. You could easily overpower everyone. How did you do it?"

He stares at him for a long second and Kai doesn't say anything, just stares back.

Wondering why he felt warm standing in the snow.

"Oh," and Light grimaces sadly, "you didn't."

He laughs bitterly when Light sits back down. "I thought you would be pleased I ended up without a body count today."

"I am," Light nods, "I just get curious and excited." He admits shamelessly, "Besides, if you don't get caught. What's stopping me from enjoying hearing about a little bloodshed."

"What's with the sudden change of tune? Not a couple of hours ago you were preaching about our laws and risks." Kai huffs, "It was annoying."

Light goes silent for a moment, face vacant of emotion. Resembling a porcelain doll with nothing behind the eyes.

"…It worked."

Kai flicks ash onto the snow. "What worked?"

"The Death Note," he says. And slowly, shadows curve. Digging into his face and carving out a grotesque smile. "Harada Satou is dead."

Kai couldn't quite hear it, but he swears Light was laughing. A wheezing, sort of whispery little giggle edging on manic.

"And I killed him."

. _._._.

Note: Harada Satou is the rave killing guy Light imagined to kill in the previous chapter. And incase any of you were wondering, Kai's real name is Kaito. But his nickname is Kai.

Questions:

What was your favorite part of this chapter?

How do you imagine Kai fitting in with the Death Note storyline?

Is Kai a realistic character?! (I'm a little self-conscious about this so any helpful criticism would be much appreciated)