Yay! I get to write more Dave/Gee mush! Hehe. Ooh, my poor rats are in shock…they knocked a ladder on top of them selves…oh, wait…nope, they couldn't resist the food at the top, back up the ladder they go.

Oooh, I was doing a love meter test (not on the Georgie Nicks Website though) here are the results.

Georgia&Robbie: 75

Georgia&Masimo: 70

Georgia&Dave: 95 honestly!

Chapter 12- Mission: Learn Dave-a-go-go Speak

Thursday June 30th

8.12am

Met Jas on the hill. I was surprised to see Jas hadn't got her nose in a book. Although her nose does look a lot more squashed and thinner after I shut it in her revision book. Wow, I've just had the flash of the watsit!

1 minute later

Ouch, Ouch, Buggery Ouch.

"Gee, what the hell are you doing? You look very demented,"

"I'm making my nose thinner,"

"By slamming it in a book?"

"Yes,"

"That's stupid,"

Oh, picky picky.

8.30am

Got to Stalag 14 on time. I'm sure Hawk-eye nearly had a heart attack,

"Georgia Nicholson!"

What fresh hell?

"Why is your nose bright red?"

May I never slam my nose in books in peace?

The Tart's Wardrobe

Blimey O'Reily's Trousers. And Merde. Possibly with Poo.

My nose is swollen about twice its size. Thank you Lord Buddha.

Blodge

We are doing Reproduction in Blodge. Miss Baldwin is droning on about how the baby grows and Rosie is nodding like a loon. Which she is.

She's being so over the top about this baby fiasco.

For example, she's sucking a dummy for it.

Truly insane.

1 minute later

"Ro-Ro, are we going to initiate Mission: Learn Dave-a-go-go Speak in MacUseless?"

"Talk to Jas, I want to see more babies in the womb,"

"They look more like naked mole rats,"

"I know, they are very adorable,"

2 minutes later

Eventually Rosie lost interest in pretending to be interested in naked mole rats. Eurgh, I never want to be pregnant.

"What we going to do then?"

"We? It is only you m' wee fule, I shall not be snogging Dave with you, he is a gorgey looking guy and you are a magnificent young ladee but I am simply not interested in having a threesome with you,"

"Rosie, please…"

3 minutes later

Anyway, the nub and gist of it is that Rosie is going to hide around the corner and I have to report to her when I need help. And she's going to steal fake fur. I don't know why.

German

Herr Kamyer is most possibly the most ridiculous looking guy on the planet. Particularly because he is wearing knee length plaid shorts. Erlack a pongees, I can see his hairy pale legs. But I am too kind to mention it so I said,

"Erlack a pongeos, Herr Kamyer's legs are so disgusting they should be illegal, they are all ginger and have albinosity about them,"

Rosie said, "I like a bit of hair on a man, when me and Sven got to number 10 I saw that he had blond hair on his-"

Eww, my ears feel like perverts. Luckily, a knock on the door stopped her before she could say WHERE. I think the knock is the FBI to take Herr Kamyer's legs away to be experimented on.

5 minutes later

Unfortunately Herr Kamyer's legs can stay to leg another day. The knock was made by Hawkeye and she walked in.

"Rosemary Mees, take that ridiculous pacifier out of your mouth,"

Rosie spat the dummy out and it got stuck in Nauseating P Green's hair.

"Georgia Nicholson, I have your first works as an Agony Aunt for the school newspaper,"

I said, "Oooh," because I couldn't think of anything else to say. Everyone was looking at me. Like looking things. Shut up looking! They were all definitely thinking. Thinking, 'Oh God, did we send our problems to that weirdo?'

"They need to be in by Tuesday, don't be stupid on them,"

Me? Stupid? When have you ever known me to be stupid?!

The Tarts Wardrobe

The whole school is on Foxwood Lad alert. I could barely get a space in the mirror to achieve my Sex-Kittiosity. Even the First Formers are getting dolled up and they're not even in MacUseless.

At least Ellen isn't here and I am free to be a minx.

Jas said, "Why are you all dolled up, Gee?"

I am not telling her about Mission: Learn Dave-a-go-go Speak because she'll probably shove a vole up my bum Oley.

"Everyone knows the old Och-Aye types used to wear make up,"

I didn't ask her why she was 'dolled up' because I know she will make a silly excuse about the fact everyone knows Lady MacUseless types used to wear make up.

2.30pm

The Foxwood Lads arrived in their usual unruly mob. Uh-Oh, Dave's not at the front leading them. Poo, Merde, he's sulking behind, being Dave the Unlaugh.

Perhaps he's got a hangover?

How long do they take to go?

"Ro-Ro, he's being Dave the Unlaugh,"

"Well, be Gee the Laugh then,"

5 minutes later

Oh, famous last words. He wasn't being Dave the Unlaugh he was being ranted at for being Dave the Laugh by his teacher and was doing that 'look-down-hands-in-pockets-and-be-quiet-and-hope-they're-leave-you-alone' tactic which is so popular with the vair, vair cool, i.e. me.

I went sauntering passed him with my hip-waggle-hip-waggle-hair-flick thing.

"Oh, hips gone again Gee? Can't get enough of me can you?"

Right. Tongue behind teeth. Nose pulled in (it's gone back down), sexy smile with hint of eastern promise, "No, I can't"

That shocked him.

2.45pm

This is quite fun actually, I see why Dave keeps doing it. The only down side is that is hard for me to pluck up the couragosity because I am not knob-centred as according to Dave boys are.

But I did this fabby thing, which I think was very brave of me.

I snuck round the corner to tell Rosie, "Ro-Ro, I did this fabby thing,"

Rosie stuck some fake fur on her tummy "Tell, tell,"

"Well he was busy watching Melanie Griffiths juggle,"

"Nunga nunga ogling more like,"

"Yes, indeedio, and I walked passed him, casualosity personified"

"Uh huh,"

"As I walked passed pinched his bum. He jumped about fifty feet in the air and I just carried on walking,"

"Oui,"

"And he knocked a load of scenary over on top of himself,"

Then we laughed like loons on helium (I don't know why).

I think I am becoming fluent in Dave-a-go-go Speak.

2 minutes later

Ro-Ro said, "Would this be red bottomosity or the particular horn?"

I said, "I don't have red bottomosity anymore, I have a Dave detector,"

And I showed her my luuurrve bite (which I hadn't bothered to cover up because it's started to fade).

"A Dave Detector?! "

3.00pm

Dave is avoiding me. It's really weird because he's being like me and I'm being him. Maybe he's trying to learn Gee-a-go-go speak?

2 minutes later

Miss Wilson said "Georgia Nicholson, can you go get the box of tights from the store cupboard?"

Bloody Hell! How am I supposed to reach those? They're on the very top shelf.

Hmmm…

I said to Miss Wilson, "It's too high up, I need a hand"

"Oh, err, maybe one of the boys can help,"

I pointed at Dave, "He's not doing anything, miss,"

Luckily she didn't realise he is actually shorter than me.

"You, boy, can you help Miss Nicholson get a box of tight off the shelf?"

He rolled his eyes at me.

I speaky the lingo of the Dave!

1 minute later

I felt so nervous and jelloid. But Rosie said that I would have NO chance of getting him if I don't speak Dave-a-go-go speak. He better appreciate this. Dave Detector at the ready.

When we were in the store cupboard he turned around to me. Uh oh, his face was Dave the Unlaughish.

"Georgia, why-"

And I snogged him! I snogged him not him snogging me! I did the snog attack! Me, Georgia Nicholson! I speaky the lingo of the Dave! I even nip libbled him. I was being him! And he was still being me, I could feel him go jelloid, like I do! I made him go jelloid. Hahahahaha! I feel a bit mad.

Now for the piêce de resistance. I moved to his neck. I neck nuzzled first, because I am sex kitty after all. Then I did it. What did he do? It was bite then suck wasn't it?

After I'd finished I looked at him like he looked at me when he pushed me into the bush and then poked his lips and said, "You are my Dave the Laugh and don't forget it,"

Then he realised what I'd done. It was vair vair funny, his eyes went all wide and his hand shot to his neck like a shooty thing. Hahahaha. I think I've completely shocked the watsit and rocked the boat.

"Gee…you haven't…"

"Wear it proudly, Dave," and I walked off. I am a red bottomed minx. With my Dave Detector.

Now he has a Georgia Detector.

3 minutes later

I've just thought, Dave can't cover his luuurrve bite up with foundation or piggy tails. Hahaha. Oh well.

Wow, even though I was looking forward to writing that chapter it was HARD. I was trying to get Georgia to sound like Georgia even though she wasn't being Georgia because she was being Dave and the Snog Attacker. And I probably didn't make much sense then. Anyway, reviews will be very much appreciated because I am very nervy about this chapter. Most difficult one yet, I think. A big thanks for everyone who's reviewed so far. I love you all!