Oh, I really can't wait until chapters 18-20. Just been writing them in short hand and wrote out the plan again. I have to have a plan or I will get writers block or something and this will never get finished. :(. Even if I do have exploded lip gloss down my trousers.

Oh, I've changed the date of the Mission: Learn Dave-a-go-go speak from Tuesday June 28th to Thursday June 30th. Not that it really matters, but just to say.

Chapter 13-Huh? I didn't catch a word of that/

Saturday 2nd June

8.00am

Bird tweeting, flies flying, and sun shining like a big yellow shining thing. Yesssss!

8.05am

It's vair vair weird being allowed to think about Dave the Laugh. I keep going to push him to one side but then I remember I can think about him.

1 minute later

I wonder how he's going to cover up his Gee Detector?

2 minutes later

If he's going to try to cover it up.

1 minute later

Hahahaha!

5 minutes later

I wonder what he's doing now? Shame it's a weekend, I can't practice my Dave-a-go-go Speak.

3 minutes later

I really want to see him. Which is odd as I usually want to avoid him. Because every time we see each other it usually ends up on number 6. Which is now good.

1 minute later

It is as ironic as two ironic things that my Hornmeister who introduced me to the wild ways of the General and Cosmic Horn, I now have the Particular Horn for.

6 minutes later

It feels good to have the Particular Horn back and be Red-Bottomless. The last time I had the particular Horn was when I was stalking Robbie.

3 minutes later

I can't stalk Dave, can I?

5 minutes later

I could casually go to his house because…he offered to give me another massage! Yes, he did! What was it that he said? Oh yes, it was "Well, TTFN, my Kittykat of first water, remember to drop in at Dave's Massages any time and free massages for my favourite customer".

Oh I am a genius!

2 minute later

And the blatantosity of it will be fluent Dave-a-go-go speak!

This is giving me the shivers. I need to do some mad dancing to calm down.

Hiding in a Bush

10.00am

I am hiding in a bush because I am waiting for Dave's Elderly loons to bugger off. I am very scared of his Mutti; she's like a female version of my Vati.

I feel really nervy.

20 minutes later

Still waiting for his Mutti and Vati to leave. Ouch, I've got a twig poking me up the Bum Oley.

I had to steal a lot of my Mutti's clothes to wear to see Dave. He said boys like it simple and what can be more simpler to understand I like him than dressing like a prostitute? You can see the things I must do.

11.00am

Finally, the Elderly Mad have left the building.

Right, calmy nerves, calmy nerves, breathe, Ohhmmmmmmm.

I rang the door bell. And he answered it. He looked really gorgey and yummy scrumboes.

"Gee?"

"Hi, Dave, can I come in? Thank you," and I just stepped in.

"What you doing here?"

"Well…you said I could drop by anytime and free massages to your favourite customer,"

He smiled his cheeky smile, "Your mad,"

"No, your mad,"

"NO, your mad,"

And it was tickly bears all over again. He wasn't in a strop with me anymore, which was as good as two good things.

We got to the bit when we usually do Number Five and I noticed he had a big hand shaped bruise a cross his cheek.

"Dave, why have you got a hand on your cheek?"

"Oh, that's your fault that is, Gee,"

"Huh?"

"I was seeing Rachel last night and she saw the Luuurrve Bite and slapped me,"

How dare she slap him?

"Apparently I'm a lying, cheating worm and she and her friends are making and anti-Dave campaign against me,"

I said, "What a prize bitch," but I didn't say, "Well, you sorta are,"

He shrugged, "I was going to end it anyway,"

Uh-Oh, he was coming over all Dave the Unlaugh. And I hate that.

So I said, "Come on, wasting a customers time! Tut, tut, I might have to take my business else where,"

He smirked, "I can't have that,"

11.15am

Dave's gone off to massage oils and some drinks. His rooms really cool, it's not painted, he's just spray painted all over it. I had a bit of a snoop around.

Blimey O'Reily's trousers! He's done some drawings of me. They're vair vair good as well. I didn't know he was a creative type. Which is ok as long as he doesn't go all poetic and write you're the Only Fish in My Sea the remix.

2 minutes later

Dave's got a boy version of How to Make any twit fall in love with you! By boy I mean for boys not how to make boys luuurrve you because that'll make him gay. And no one wants that.

1 minute later

It says in here that it is a good idea to make a girl jealous because we are jealous creatures and respond to it better. So that's where the flirting with Ellen came in.

30 seconds later

It says "If your worried about others mussling in on your territory (honestly, it really says that) then if you are on kissing terms with her give her a love bite because that will keep others away,"

I could not believe it. It was unbelievable that is why.

1 minute later

I can't believe Dave actually reads this. It's basically the dictionary to Dave-a-go-go Speak. I feel kind of weird that he does things because a book told him to. But then, I do that…

Argh, he's coming up the stairs. I dropped the book down like a droppy thing.

11.30am

Dave really is brillo pads at massages. He's got loads of the massage oils out again, they smell really nice.

"So what happened after the last massage?"

"My mum went balisticimus, you were there, Kittykat,"

Kittykat! Yay, Dave is back, Dave is back. Yesss.

"No, I mean after,"

"Oh, she won't talk to me, especially after on Sunday night, they found me completely drunk trying to fight a tree,"

Then he looked at me funny.

I don't know why.

10 minutes later

I feel like I'm going to go to sleep again. Why does this always happen? It's vair vair relaxing, that is why.

Boboland, here I come…

Then Dave sat on me.

"Ouchy ouch, get off, you're going to squash my nungas!"

"Why are you doing this, Gee?"

"What? Saying Ouch?"

"No, why are you being…me?"

Uh-oh, Dave the Unlaugh returns. And I can't run away. Merde.

I shouted "I'm not! Can you please get off me?"

I couldn't see his face or anything, it was horrible, I didn't know what to say.

"So your just messing me about again?"

"No!!"

"Because I can't stand anymore of this,"

"Okay, Okay, I was flirting with you!"

"Huh? So I'm being a red herring again, am I? Because I'll tell you something for free, it was one thing being used for Robbie but something else being a red herring for that Italian homosexualist!"

"Your not a red herring!"

"Well, what am I to you Gee? Because I'd love to know!"

Uh-oh, he sounded vair vair angry. Merde! What can I do?

I suddenly blurted out at two hundred miles an hour , "You got drunk and you told me that you loved me and I then I realised I loved you so I dumped Masimo and Rosie told me that the only way to get you was if I acted like you so I did and gave you a Gee detector and I-I IIoveyou!"

"Huh? I didn't catch a word of that,"

"I…I…I love you,"

Yay! Gee 4 Dave all the way! Yay! I love writing this stuff, I have a big cheesy grin on my face now! :D. THank you for reviews, speed reviewers. Glad to know you liked my last chapter.