Chapter two is finally here! I'm so sorry that I've been slow on updating, I've been swamped with homework every night and stuff like that. Thank you for everything! R&R and enjoy. :3
~flash back~
'Of course it had to be this way. That's how it's always had to be. The one time I finally get to live the life I want to live it gets ripped out of my hands. What am I supposed to do without you? How am I supposed to raise her? Damn it, where are -"
The door creaked open, interrupting my thoughts. I buried my head deeper into my pillow, if that was even possible.
"Dean? Dean are you in here?" A voice asked. Sam's voice.
"I'm right here, Sammy." I whisper, my voice hoarse from lack of use. I hear Sam's long stride as he makes his way over to my side of the bed.
"What's up?" He asks casually.
"This dark room. You?"
"Nothing really." He crouched there silently, as if contemplating a question, before finally saying something. "Do you need anything, Dean? You know I'm here to help."
"Actually, there is something I need you to do for me, Sammy." I said after a minute of silence.
"Anything, Dean."
"Take Nova. Just for a little while, until I pull myself together. I don't want her to see me like this, and frankly I-," his voice cracked, much to his dismay. "I'm ashamed to admit I'm a little too broken right now to take care of her without-"
"Say no more, Dean. I'll do it." He paused. "When was the last time you ate something?"
I stilled when I realized I actually had no idea. How long had it been? Days? Weeks? Hours? These things didn't seem to mean anything until this moment, when my stomach growled.
"I… actually don't know. I've been feeding Nova, I'm not so sure about myself." I let out a soft chuckle. How typical of me.
"Let's go make you both some grilled cheese or something." Sam suggested, resting the flat of his hand on my arm, just below my shoulder. I nodded and picked myself up off the bed.
"I'll join you in a minute," I say as I shuffle tiredly to my bathroom, rubbing my eyes. Sam mumbles an 'okay' before leaving the room.
When I reach the bathroom mirror, I don't recognize the person staring back at me. This person's hair is a mess, he has dark circles under his eyes, he likely smells from the lack of showering and he has some serious scruff going on from not shaving in so long. His eyes portrayed so much hurt and sadness I honestly wished that the person I was staring at wasn't me. But he was. I decided I wasn't going to show Nova this side of me. She didn't need to see her remaining parent broken.
I start by taking a shower to fix up my hair and put some life back into my face. Once I'm out I shave off the scruff and then go get dressed. By the time I'm back in the bathroom to brush my teeth, I see a far less scary person staring back at me, but the look in his eyes couldn't have been washed away by anything. I spit, then walked out of my room and down the hallway into the kitchen.
I hear the sound of thundering feet the moment I walk in. I turn to the right to see my little girl running up to me, arms already reaching out for me. "Daddy!" She calls.
I squat down and pick her up, spinning her around before placing her on my hip. "Hey, baby girl! How's daddy's little supernova doing?" I ask lightly before planting a kiss on her cheek. She giggled, delighted.
"I'm good, daddy! What about you?" She asked, fisting a small, chubby hand in my shirt as we walked to where Sam was piling up the sandwiches on a plate.
"I'm hungry. What shall I eat?" I pretended to ponder for a second before tickling her. "Shall I eat you?"
Loud screams and giggles filled the room as Nova squirmed in my arms. "No, Daddy! You eat the grilled cheese!" She said between giggles. I stopped tickling her to let her breathe.
"Oh. Now, that makes more sense!" I said as I carried her over to the island where her chair was.
"Uncle Sammy, Uncle Sammy!" She called out as she sat down. Sam looked up from the stove. "Yes, Nova?"
"Guess how old I am!" She said, bouncing up and down in her seat.
"Um…. I don't know. Let's see... 3048!"
"No, silly! I'm three!" Nova giggled as she was handed her plate.
"Well 3 year olds have to eat, just like 3048 year old daddy's do." Nova gasped and turned to me with wide eyes.
"Daddy! Are you 3048?" She asked, tripping over the number slightly as she babbled. I laughed.
"No, baby girl. I'm not that old."
"Is Papa?"
I froze. But only slightly, so Sam was the only one who noticed. I nodded and laughed. "Yes, Papa is that old."
Nova accepted this with another gleeful giggle before digging into her sandwich. Once I finished mine, I sat back to watch her.
'She's the light of my life. She has been since we adopted her. Cas, if you can hear me, please come home. I can't do this without you. Please, please come home."
"Daddy! Is it true I'm going over to Uncle Sammy's house?" I looked up at my daughter, an incredible light shining in her eyes. I didn't want that to leave her eyes. Ever.
"Yeah baby girl. Uncle Sammy's gonna take you for a while. At least until I can figure some stuff out."
"Yay! When Daddy?" I looked at Sam and he responded for me.
"Today, Nova. We'll pack your stuff after lunch, okay?"
"Okay!"
~End of flashback~
"Sir?" A voice asked. I looked up at the vendor again. There was no doubt. The man I was looking at was my long lost husband. I stood there, shell shocked. Nova looked up at me and back at Cas, then back at me before she made the connection and gasped herself.
"I-I'm sorry…" I paused. "W-what's your name?"
"Clarence. Clarence Novak…" He responded slowly, giving me a pointed look. "Is something wrong sir?"
I took Nova's hand and led her several feet away before crouching to meet her eye level. I gave her the correct amount of money for some mint chip ice cream.
"Don't say anything to him Nova. Do you recognize him?" Nova nodded. "It's Papa…"
I sighed sadly. "Yes baby girl. I have to make a call, but I want you to have some ice cream. Say anything but that you know him, okay?" She nodded before taking the money and skipping off to Ca- Clarence.
I pulled out my phone and quickly dialed Sam's number.
"This is Sam."
"I found him." There was a silence.
"What?"
"I found Cas, Sam. But he doesn't know me. He says his name is Clarence. I'm barely holding it together here man. I don't know what to do!"
"Okay, calm down. I'll get a hold of Gabe, and we'll figure this out. Give me some information."
"His name is Clarence Novak, he works for The Super Natural Ice Cream Company. I don't know anything else other than the fact that he didn't-he doesn't-" I stopped when my voice broke. Just then, Nova skipped back to me.
"He gave me his card to give to you Daddy," she said as she held up the card. I smiled at her and took it. I gathered up the grocery bags, adjusted my phone and took Nova's hand before speaking to Sam again.
"I have a business card if you want the info I'll text it to you."
"Yeah that would be great. I'm going to meet you at your place tonight."
"Okay. Bring Gabe, too. Text me when you're on your way. I'll see you then."
"Will do. Bye."
"Bye."
I hung up the phone and followed Nova's lead back to the Impala. I carefully placed everything in the back seat with Nova before starting my way home.
"Did you have a good time, baby girl?" I asked as we drove. When I didn't get a reply, I looked in the rearview mirror to see her sleeping. I chuckled but continued to drive.
Once I got us home, I carefully removed the flowers from Nova's hands and then carried her into the house where I put her on the couch. I tucked her in with the throw blanket that stayed on the couch at all times. I needed her to wake up for dinner later. I then went back out to Baby and started unpacking groceries.
As I walked back from Baby with groceries in tow, I studied the walls of the entry way. Pictures littered the walls, showing pictures ranging from successful hunts and funny moments shared, to wedding pictures and Nova as a baby. I had always made sure that she knew who Cas was, and what he meant to our family. I didn't try to hide him from her. I never took down the pictures of him, and I always told her stories of our adventures before bed.
I took in the flowers last. I got out a vase that had been gathering dust in a cabinet for a good long while and washed it off. I filled it with fresh water and added the flower food that the vendor had given us before putting the flowers in the vase and setting them on the table.
~Flash back~
"Cas?" I called as I entered the house, wary of my boyfriend jumping out of nowhere to ruin the surprise.
"I'm up here!" A reply came from up the stairs. Perfect.
I slinked my way up the stairs and snuck up to Cas' office door. I cracked it open to see him heavily immersed in whatever was on his computer.
"Babe?" I inquired as I pushed open the door.
"Hmm?" he returned, not looking away from the screen. I took my chance to walk up beside him.
"I have a surprise for you," I sang gleefully. I saw Cas' determined look turn into a delighted grin as he turned to me.
"And what would this surprise be?" He inquired, taking my free hand in his and pulling me towards him. I sat on his lap and pulled out a dozen pink roses from where I was hiding them behind my back.
"Flowers and dinner." I replied. The smile I got in return was by far the best sight I had ever seen.
~Flashback end~
I set the table and then began to work on dinner. Just as I had put the frittata in the oven, my phone buzzed.
Sam: We're on our way over. Gabe took a look into Cas' life for the past five years, much to his disdain. I'm bringing the info over with me to look at after dinner.
Me: Sounds good. Dinner should be done, quickly. I just put in the oven.
Sam: Sounds good. Be there shortly.
I looked over at my daughter on the couch for a second.
'Where have you been Cas? Is this why you haven't been answering me?' I prayed to myself. I haven't prayed to him in forever. After all, I had thought he was gone for good. I walked over to Nova to lightly wake her up.
"Baby girl, dinner's almost ready." Grumbles erupted from her, but not much else.
"Nova, Uncle Sam and Uncle Gabe will be here soon, you need to get up." At that, she sat up, pushing her her hair out of her face and looking at me.
"I'm up. After dinner I have homework to do." She said, and yawned.
"Yup. Go get cleaned up." Nova slowly got off of the couch and shuffled over to the stairs up to her bedroom.
Just then headlights shined through the window as Sam's car turned into the driveway.
Cliff hanger again. (sorry not sorry) I hope you enjoyed! R&R